Our furry family members are so affected by our journeys - Editgirl this is for you! Plus some thing
It has been a hard week or so for me. My last treatment went fine but post treatment my counts all took a dive. I can't even describe to anyone adequately what my energy level was (or wasn't). Just total exhaustion. Other signs of a platelet issue included bleeding gums and crusty blood in my nose in the am, diaharea, zero appetite and heart palpitations walking up a flight of stairs. my husband and I didn't put two and two together; he left on a business trip for the week. My doctor told me yesterday that he saw me in the waiting room and based on my pallor thought there could be a big problem. It was a routine lab work, follow up appointment. Sure enough I ended up with a platelet count of 17,000, low white and red blood cells. I had a platelet transfusion and hydration. He almost kept me overnight. So that was a lesson for us.
Basically all I had done for the past five days prior to this was sleep a lot. No energy for showers even. And we have two very energetic labs who like our walks and roughhouse and play. They are two versions of Marley from Marley and me. But this past week they laid on the floor by my side when I slept. They followed me around the house and sat at the bathroom door if I was using it. They would jump up and snuggle with me on the bed - very gently. They took over the role of nurse, guard dogs and comforter. I couldn't sleep,last night so at one I got up and went outside to watch the Perseid Shower. The pups just came out, stretched out and watched me watch it. It was amazing btw.
I also ride a horse named Cisco. Until my platelet levels are satisfactory to my doctor I can't ride. He is a big Thoroughbred. He likes to play a little and is also snugly. He always sniffs my port when I first see him as well as my hair and then shoulders. He has done this with me since day one and the people at the barn have commented that they have never seen anything like it. I went for a visit today just to get out and groom him. He did the usual sniffing and rested his head on my shoulder, he likes hugs. Then he did the wierdest thing which was a first. When I went to put his halter on he dropped his head so low that I didn't have to reach up or sort of play the game he likes to play. He kept it there until I got him set up. I groomed him and brusshed out his tail and mane. Then I was watching a jumping lesson and he just rested his head on my shoulder and watched it with me.
If you have animals and are on this journey they can be so comforting and tuned into us. They make rough days easier and good days even better. I just wanted to share that with you.
Comments
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So sorry to hear
I hope you are feeling better and that the next treatment goes better. i had something similar happen in April after my 2 Doxil treatment. It is so hard to explain the fatigue and total exhaustion that comes with this sometimes. I sat down and cried because I didn't feel like walking 6 feet to turn off a hall light or feed my dogs. i cried and cried because I was so afraid i couldn't take care of them anymore. so Easter Sunday was spent in the ER. Labs and a CT scan showed nothing so just Hydration and differtent pills and Sea Bands for nausia and I felt like eating on the way home for the first time in 5 days. Luckily that has been theonly time that I have felt quite that awful. I don't like Doxil very much!!! but it is keeping me stable for now.
I know what you mean about furry family members. My two dogs also can sense when I feel the worse and will lay gently by me in my chair. A couple of years ago i hurt my hand in my mixer. I sat down and both dogs gently climbed on top of me looking with sadness. They offer so much comfort. Hugs and prayers , Lou Ann
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Fatigue
I also went through the fatigue 5 years ago when I went thru chemo. On top of it all, my little brother (57 years old) whom I know thought I was going to die, dropped dead, himself, in Maine unexpectedly of a heart attack. I had to travel from NY state to Maine for his funeral, and I was so short of breath that I had a lot of trouble walking around. A few days later, at my next oncologist appointment, I was tested and had to be set up for a transfusion. I'd already had two units of blood two days after my extensive surgery (my cancer surgery, gallbladder surgery, and appendectomy all rolled into one). The nurses told me I should immediately feel better, but I didn't. Months later, I found out that I have a rare form of hemochromatosis and had to have blood removed from me to get the excess iron out of me. They did it two weeks in a row, and when I was due to come back for a third phlebotomy, I wasn't feeling well, and I told them that. They told me to come in anyway, and I ended up in the ER after they tested my blood. I had developed anemia from having the blood taken out of me too fast and too soon after chemo, plus a UTI at the same time. I felt like a yo-yo, having blood put in and then taken back out. I know I looked pale and pasty. Now I sometimes see other patients with that look when I go in for my rechecks, and I want to tell them they'll probably need a transfusion, too. I had refused the Neulasta shot which the doctor wanted to give me after I got back from my brother's funeral. It had a risk of causing heart attacks, and I didn't want to be the next person to have one in my family. I've gotten the impression that if I'd had the shot, my blood count wouldn't have been so bad. Sometimes I wonder if refusing that shot is why I'm still alive when some of the others who have taken it have died.
I've heard about animals being able to sense cancer. Before my was diagnosed, my cat was frequently sleeping alongside my belly. I wondered afterwards if he knew something was wrong. Sounds like your horse is feeling your pain. What's that expression about having pretty good "horse sense?"
I hope the transfusion helps give you some energy. It sounds like you're in the worst stages of chemo now, so hopefully, things won't get any worse for you. I hope you start to feel better soon so you can get up on that horse and run free.
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Animals do know
My cat Trio has never slept on my bed. When I first got her, I kept her out of the bedroom for a couple of years. Now, she sleeps in the hallway even when the door is open. But lately, in the mornings, she comes in and lies next to me. She's very careful not to climb on top of me, but stays close by my side.
Petey has been very gentle as well lately. Many years ago, when I boarded at a stable in a public park, I was riding one evening in the arena. A couple with a young child in a wheelchair walked up to the fence and wondered if their little girl could pet my horse. It seemed that she had cerebral palsy. I said yes, but I wasn't sure exactly what would happen. What did happen is that Petey very gently sniffed her all over, to her absolute delight, then stood very still while she petted his nose, face, and played with his ears. It brought me to tears.
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So sweetEditgrl said:Animals do know
My cat Trio has never slept on my bed. When I first got her, I kept her out of the bedroom for a couple of years. Now, she sleeps in the hallway even when the door is open. But lately, in the mornings, she comes in and lies next to me. She's very careful not to climb on top of me, but stays close by my side.
Petey has been very gentle as well lately. Many years ago, when I boarded at a stable in a public park, I was riding one evening in the arena. A couple with a young child in a wheelchair walked up to the fence and wondered if their little girl could pet my horse. It seemed that she had cerebral palsy. I said yes, but I wasn't sure exactly what would happen. What did happen is that Petey very gently sniffed her all over, to her absolute delight, then stood very still while she petted his nose, face, and played with his ears. It brought me to tears.
I hope you can get out and visit him as much as you need his comfort. I am lucky, Cisco is only 10 minutes away and just gives me that boost I need. hugs and prayers. Anne
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Hope you can ride soonAWK said:So sweet
I hope you can get out and visit him as much as you need his comfort. I am lucky, Cisco is only 10 minutes away and just gives me that boost I need. hugs and prayers. Anne
I'm sorry you've had such a rough time this last week. You've been through so much already, it just isn't fair. I am amazed at your strength and persistence and know, with the help of your animal friends, you will get through this.
Hugs,
Chris
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Our pets are family, too!Editgrl said:Hope you can ride soon
I'm sorry you've had such a rough time this last week. You've been through so much already, it just isn't fair. I am amazed at your strength and persistence and know, with the help of your animal friends, you will get through this.
Hugs,
Chris
Two horses named Cisco, one named Petey, a couple of labs and a cat named Trio-all much loved by their human mommies. Horses are such sweet and gentle creatures- sadly considered "prey" animals which explains why they have eyes situated on either side of their heads. Better to see predators approaching. I have had wonderful experiences with horses and riding a horse now is on my "Bucket List". When the nurse told me that I needed to be careful after my hysterectomy, that is, I needed to make certain that no pet jumped up and landed on my recently cut belly, I thought oh, boy, the nurse never heard of my kitty Mew Mews. For at least a couple of months after the hysterectomy, I fell asleep each night either with my arms and hands protecting my belly or a pillow covering it. You see, my dear 9 -year-old Mew Mews is a beautiful Tuxedo kitty who has acquired the somewhat nasty habit of taking a running jump, flying through the air and landing dead center on my vulnerable - well, yes- belly- usually when I am sound asleep. Well, was I surprised that not even once did she do her nasty acrobatic act on me. Even now, close to two years later, she has yet to stab my stomach with her out-stretched paws. Our pets are not stupid and have the ability to show gentleness and compassion.
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Our pets are family, too!Editgrl said:Hope you can ride soon
I'm sorry you've had such a rough time this last week. You've been through so much already, it just isn't fair. I am amazed at your strength and persistence and know, with the help of your animal friends, you will get through this.
Hugs,
Chris
Two horses named Cisco, one named Petey, a couple of labs and a cat named Trio-all much loved by their human mommies. Horses are such sweet and gentle creatures- sadly considered "prey" animals which explains why they have eyes situated on either side of their heads. Better to see predators approaching. I have had wonderful experiences with horses and riding a horse now is on my "Bucket List". When the nurse told me that I needed to be careful after my hysterectomy, that is, I needed to make certain that no pet jumped up and landed on my recently cut belly, I thought oh, boy, the nurse never heard of my kitty Mew Mews. For at least a couple of months after the hysterectomy, I fell asleep each night either with my arms and hands protecting my belly or a pillow covering it. You see, my dear 9 -year-old Mew Mews is a beautiful Tuxedo kitty who has acquired the somewhat nasty habit of taking a running jump, flying through the air and landing dead center on my vulnerable - well, yes- belly- usually when I am sound asleep. Well, was I surprised that not even once did she do her nasty acrobatic act on me. Even now, close to two years later, she has yet to stab my stomach with her out-stretched paws. Our pets are not stupid and have the ability to show gentleness and compassion.
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Couple More Names!Abbycat2 said:Our pets are family, too!
Two horses named Cisco, one named Petey, a couple of labs and a cat named Trio-all much loved by their human mommies. Horses are such sweet and gentle creatures- sadly considered "prey" animals which explains why they have eyes situated on either side of their heads. Better to see predators approaching. I have had wonderful experiences with horses and riding a horse now is on my "Bucket List". When the nurse told me that I needed to be careful after my hysterectomy, that is, I needed to make certain that no pet jumped up and landed on my recently cut belly, I thought oh, boy, the nurse never heard of my kitty Mew Mews. For at least a couple of months after the hysterectomy, I fell asleep each night either with my arms and hands protecting my belly or a pillow covering it. You see, my dear 9 -year-old Mew Mews is a beautiful Tuxedo kitty who has acquired the somewhat nasty habit of taking a running jump, flying through the air and landing dead center on my vulnerable - well, yes- belly- usually when I am sound asleep. Well, was I surprised that not even once did she do her nasty acrobatic act on me. Even now, close to two years later, she has yet to stab my stomach with her out-stretched paws. Our pets are not stupid and have the ability to show gentleness and compassion.
Let's add Teddy and Bear to that list! My boys were rescued from a high kill shelter 4 years ago. They are a huge part of my world every day.
I slept with a pillow on my stomach for the first two weeks since they do like to walk on me. And sleep on my head. And against my legs. Thank goodness we have a king size bed! They are tiny but take up a lot of room. My husband is very understanding. lol
I can't claim the caution the rest of you had. Mine go nuts when I leave them and stick like glue when I get home. They are sweet little boys and have helped me get up and move every day. One is small enough to fit my 10 LB weight limit. The other is a bit too heavy and I'm sure wonders why I am not picking him up. But we do manage to give him lots of hugs and love. He just has to jump up instead of being picked up.
It is amazing how smart our "animals" are. I find them to be way more human than many "humans" I have met.
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Anne, I sure hope you are
Anne, I sure hope you are feeling better! What an ordeal. I'm so glad you have your four legged family with you for comfort.
Do you still have more treatments ahead?
Take care of yourself! Cindi
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I am recovering and hoping the counts are on track!TeddyandBears_Mom said:Anne, I sure hope you are
Anne, I sure hope you are feeling better! What an ordeal. I'm so glad you have your four legged family with you for comfort.
Do you still have more treatments ahead?
Take care of yourself! Cindi
i just finished the first cycle of this clinical trial I am in. It consists of infusions on day one and day eight, Neulasta day nine and next treatment on day 22 (or the start of the next cycle). The trial is in the dosing phase and now they will adjust my dosage down a bit starting this Wednesday, assuming my counts don't cause a delay In cycle number two. Here is hoping!
in terms of how many cycles I will stay in until I have new growth, get too sick or opt out. They will scan me on week 8 so we'll have an early read on how it is working. I think I got lucky in all of this; this is the first time in two plus years of continuous treatment I have had this issue or even one at all aside from normal side effects. So for sure something to pay attention to but definitely not the norm!
Loving reading our companion stories! Hugs to all! Anne
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Thanks to AllAWK said:I am recovering and hoping the counts are on track!
i just finished the first cycle of this clinical trial I am in. It consists of infusions on day one and day eight, Neulasta day nine and next treatment on day 22 (or the start of the next cycle). The trial is in the dosing phase and now they will adjust my dosage down a bit starting this Wednesday, assuming my counts don't cause a delay In cycle number two. Here is hoping!
in terms of how many cycles I will stay in until I have new growth, get too sick or opt out. They will scan me on week 8 so we'll have an early read on how it is working. I think I got lucky in all of this; this is the first time in two plus years of continuous treatment I have had this issue or even one at all aside from normal side effects. So for sure something to pay attention to but definitely not the norm!
Loving reading our companion stories! Hugs to all! Anne
for the dog, cat and horse stories. I loved reading through these.
And hoping your counts are where they should be, Anne.
-j
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Strong Trooper indeed.AWK said:I am recovering and hoping the counts are on track!
i just finished the first cycle of this clinical trial I am in. It consists of infusions on day one and day eight, Neulasta day nine and next treatment on day 22 (or the start of the next cycle). The trial is in the dosing phase and now they will adjust my dosage down a bit starting this Wednesday, assuming my counts don't cause a delay In cycle number two. Here is hoping!
in terms of how many cycles I will stay in until I have new growth, get too sick or opt out. They will scan me on week 8 so we'll have an early read on how it is working. I think I got lucky in all of this; this is the first time in two plus years of continuous treatment I have had this issue or even one at all aside from normal side effects. So for sure something to pay attention to but definitely not the norm!
Loving reading our companion stories! Hugs to all! Anne
Anne 2years of continuous Treatment Would make Goliath weak,Your gift to yourself and us is that you dared to try.Lets hope for the sunshine,after this shadow is gone,' Gone' is the only word we will embrace and channel. By medicine,by luck or by blessing ,we don't care how you get it ,just get it 'gone' , We are praying,hoping,wishing . Nuff love.
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Ours are all rescues tooTeddyandBears_Mom said:Couple More Names!
Let's add Teddy and Bear to that list! My boys were rescued from a high kill shelter 4 years ago. They are a huge part of my world every day.
I slept with a pillow on my stomach for the first two weeks since they do like to walk on me. And sleep on my head. And against my legs. Thank goodness we have a king size bed! They are tiny but take up a lot of room. My husband is very understanding. lol
I can't claim the caution the rest of you had. Mine go nuts when I leave them and stick like glue when I get home. They are sweet little boys and have helped me get up and move every day. One is small enough to fit my 10 LB weight limit. The other is a bit too heavy and I'm sure wonders why I am not picking him up. But we do manage to give him lots of hugs and love. He just has to jump up instead of being picked up.
It is amazing how smart our "animals" are. I find them to be way more human than many "humans" I have met.
But truly I think these animals rescue us! Hugs!
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Ditto, to what moli said, Annemolimoli said:Strong Trooper indeed.
Anne 2years of continuous Treatment Would make Goliath weak,Your gift to yourself and us is that you dared to try.Lets hope for the sunshine,after this shadow is gone,' Gone' is the only word we will embrace and channel. By medicine,by luck or by blessing ,we don't care how you get it ,just get it 'gone' , We are praying,hoping,wishing . Nuff love.
Anne, I admire your tenacity. Two years of continuous Tx is way more than any one person should have to endure. You are- with your courage and grace under fire-teaching me a lesson about survival. I am in your corner hoping all goes well with chemo #2 and that your blood count improves, your appetite recovers as does your strength. Is that feeling of exhaustion improving?
Hugs and Warm Wishes,
Cathy
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