New here

realmichelle7335

Hi... I am just beginning this journey and I feel like things are going so fast. I am really overwhelmed in a sense. I feel like my life is falling apart and everyone around me that I was sure would be by my side isn't. I just question how can I do this alone and still take care of my son's.  Any advice?

carkris

your life feels mixed up then

your life feels mixed up then it gets on track. people will suprise you who is there and who isnt.  Once you have a plan you will feel more in control .hugs

camul

Welcome.
It is funny how it all works. The ones you think will be there arent and others who you would never have thought would show up. I do not think everyone is capable or some just may not want to for whatever reason and yet, others do not know what to do... so they do nothing.
I have made some wonderful new friends on this journey, and also lost a few whom I would have done anything for. Realizing life is noy always what we think it is. I learned thru my support group and this site that this is fairly common so I do not take it personally.
A bigger thing I realized is that peoplr will help if I ask specifically for help. Like a ride to the doctor, or a break to go to lunch, pretty much anything I askof them. I wasnt asking for help. I just assumed that my friends would just call and come. After listening to others t the support group saying if they asked, they got help. It works!
I wish you the beest. How old are your boys?
Carol

coral2015

Online friend here

I sure know how lonely one can feel when we get the news and start treatment. I am so sorry your are going through this, plus having to deal with it by yourself. My biggest motivation was my son, his smile made everything worth it. And i was blessed to have my mom and husband on my side. We live in California, but our family and friends are back in Mexico. I wished so many times to be able to go back and spend time with my family and friends, but everything went down so fast that sooner than i realized I was in treatment and planning my surgery. Maybe is not much, but if you need to talk well, i could help Stay strong

Puffin2014

welcome to the site

Welcome Michelle, I see you were in the chat room last night, excellent place to get support, wonderful group of people there. I'm the one they were telling you about that records my Dr visits, I just use my iPod, have it set up ready to go and when the Dr knocks on the door to enter I hit Record and set it on the desk. It was invaluable to be able to go back later and listen to what the doctors had said. With my radiation Dr it was 3 months from that initial visit until I actually started radiation and I'd forgotten most of what he'd told me that first day.

I also want to reinforce what someone earlier said about asking for help. People want to help and don't know how or what you need. My reflexes and coordination were affected by chemo and I wasn't safe to drive, it really helped if someone could run to the store for me to pick up items, and I needed someone to drive me to my treatments. I know one man who needed someone to just come over and walk with him after surgery so he could get a little exercise and he was too unsteady to walk by himself for the first couple weeks. When someone says, "let me know if there's anything I can do", be ready with an answer! And if neighbors and church members don't offer, then you initiate "I could use someone to watch my son while I'm in chemo for 4 hours, would you be able to help? Also check with your health team, maybe the social worker, and see what contacts they have. Our center has a list of volunteers that will drive people to treatments, etc.

As you settle into a routine and have a plan, it does get better and that sense of being overwhelmed lessens. You learn to set priorities and let go of the things that aren't important. Avoid looking too far ahead at any time, focus on the present and what you have control over.

Be careful about jumping all over the internet, a lot of incorrect and scary stuff out there. Another website that my onc recommended was breastcancer.org and I have found it extremely helpful. Besides having excellent educational articles, their discussion forums are subdivided, so you can follow forums specifically for those who have had mastectomies, chemo, radiation, etc. I started with the lumpectomy forum, then moved to the chemo forum, then the radiation forum, and now am active on the Arimidex forum. Be sure and mark any forum you like as a favorite so it's easy to find again and easy to see when new responses have been added.

I'll watch for you in the chat room.

 

GlowMore

Hi Michelle

I'm really sorry to see you are feeling so abandoned......but you have come to the right place to find people who really understand because we have all been there.  Puffin has given you some truly excellent advice....she is a Treasure on this Board.   The American Cancer Society will help you in many ways and if you just call them for support you will be surprised at the help you will receive.  I didn't call at first and it was only after my chemo that I discovered they would have given me wigs and head coverings for free and it would have saved me a lot of $$$.   Also they have volunteers as others here have said who might be able to help you get to treatments etc.   I don't know if you are at all a religious person but for me I know that my belief in the Lord sustained me...because He never left me...then or now.    Please go to our home pages and read about each of us who post here...most of us have tried to put some of our stories there.   I am really sorry to say Welcome...because this is one disease none of us ever thought we would have or that any of us wanted to get....but we are all Survivors here and we all understand what you are going through.   Sending you Hugs and Prayers for Strength and Courage...please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.   Glo

realmichelle7335

camul said:

Welcome.
It is funny how it all works. The ones you think will be there arent and others who you would never have thought would show up. I do not think everyone is capable or some just may not want to for whatever reason and yet, others do not know what to do... so they do nothing.
I have made some wonderful new friends on this journey, and also lost a few whom I would have done anything for. Realizing life is noy always what we think it is. I learned thru my support group and this site that this is fairly common so I do not take it personally.
A bigger thing I realized is that peoplr will help if I ask specifically for help. Like a ride to the doctor, or a break to go to lunch, pretty much anything I askof them. I wasnt asking for help. I just assumed that my friends would just call and come. After listening to others t the support group saying if they asked, they got help. It works!
I wish you the beest. How old are your boys?
Carol

My boys are 17 and 14. I have

My boys are 17 and 14. I have always been the one to care and provide for my children. My daughter who is 21 and just gave birth to my 1st grandchild does what she can, but I want her to focus on her new child. I have never been one to ask for help, so this all very difficult for me.