My Brother has Stage 4 Brain Cancer

Robillina
Robillina Member Posts: 11

Good Morning, I guess I need a little emotional support this morning. I'm feeling weepy after spending the holiday weekend with my family and witnessing a major change in my brother. We are in year two since my Brother's diagnosis of Glio Blastoma. His doctors said it's extremely rare in adults. He has had two brain surgerys and has, so far, been treated with chemo in pill form and a round of radiation treatments. After his second surgery earlier this year his team of doctors put him on Lomustine. It was horrible. He started suffering from migraines and became very confused. He developed excess fluid on the brain as well. He started having trouble with his left side. He had lost some of his peripheral vision on the left side but recently has lost some of the motor skills on the left side too. It's very difficult, as all of you who are caregivers can relate too, to see my older brother deteriorate. He tries to be as independant as possible but we are slowly having to take over things for him. This weekend was the first time I had to cut up his food for him. While I was cooking he shuffled into the kitchen and stood in front of the cabinet just staring. I asked him what he was looking for. He said, "I need a mug. Mom keeps moving stuff around." I just said, "It's okay, here you go." and handed a mug to him from the cabinet where the mugs have been for 40 years. My Mom wears most of the weight of responsibility as he is living with my parents. I am most concerned about her. My father is blind so she now has two very stubborn men who are dependant on her. She is a retired nurse and a very strong woman but she's getting worn out. I work full time and go down on the weekends to help as much as I can but I see her growing more fatigued. She needs a break to recharge but we don't have the time right now so we hug a lot and read a lot and try to giggle as much as possible (wine really helps with that). My Brother was taken off of the Lomustine and given steriods for a bit, which helped relieve his migraines and bring him out of bed. This past weekend is the most mobile and interactive he has been in a while but tomorrow he starts a new chemo drug thru an IV. We have no idea what to expect from this. We're hearing the first treatment is the roughest. I can't imagine what he's going through. He's not very communicative and can be difficult to love but we are doing our best to ralley around him. My Mom and I are stubborn too. I'm not sure what I'm looking for here. Maybe I just need to know that I'm not alone. That there are other caregivers out there who get sneak attacked by there own emotions. That there are others who are so tired that no matter how much sleep you get it's never enough. If you are feeling this way too I wish I could hug you and tell you I know what your going through. It's hard to talk to friends about this experience because there aren't words adequate enough to descibe the 'black hole' that is cancer. My Mom and I try to focus on the good things and we count the number of smiles my brother shares and if we can get a laugh or even a chortle from him it lifts our spirits because we know that in that moment there was no cancer there was only joy. All we can do is Just Love him. That has to be enough. Writing this post helped too. Thank you for listening.

Comments

  • cheatinlil
    cheatinlil Member Posts: 197
    Robillina
    You are not alone. 

    Robillina

    You are not alone.  I too am a caregiver.  My husband has Stage 4 kidney cancer.  He has been bed ridden since June 26.  It is a very scary place to be.  Keep checking in and let me know about your brother. 

  • Ladylacy
    Ladylacy Member Posts: 773 Member
    Cancer

    This stuff they call cancer is horrible.  It affects not only the person with the cancer but the whole family and people who have never been around anyone with the disease just doesn't understand.  As caregivers our emotions change on a daily basis because it is hard. 

    I have been married to my husband 53 years the end of August and was dating him for a 1 1/2 before we married because I was still in high school and he is older.  He has been fighting this beast for the last 5 years but the last year has really been the worse.  He is on in-home hospice, confined to a hospital bed and can do nothing for himself.  His is not brain, but I wouldn't be surpised if it hasn't spread to his brain due to the confusion he has and other symptons and even his hospice nurse says she wouldn't be surprised either.  One of our granddaughters lost her husband to brain cancer almost a year ago.   So young but his progressed very fast and they have a small daughter too.  Cancer doesn't care who it hits or hurts. 

    Being a caregiver is hard.  Yes we have children, but none live close by to be of any help and they all have their jobs and families.  Even when they come home, they aren't much help.  Ours all 4 sons and only one of the wives is really a helper by cleaning up after them, the other wives just do nothing.  At times I want to tell my sons not to come home or at least leave their wives homes.  Grown grandchildren could care less.  Sorry but it is true.

    All I can say is to help your mother the best you can and make sure you both take care of yourselves because you are important too.  It is hard there is not denying that.  My husband can be sweet one minute and mean the next and at times I can do nothing right.  Not like him at all but this beast changes the person with it.

    Wishing you and your mother peace and comfort

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,343 Member
    To the caregivers, I hope you

    To the caregivers, I hope you do not mind my interupting.  I really just wanted to say, as a warrior, none of us could face the day without all of you in our lives.  Your journey is different, and I cannot imagine what it is like for you or what my family was thinking, but we recognize the love and support you give.  It touches our hearts like you cannot know.  To have the ones who know the simpliest things - how we like our coffee or sandwich - means so much.

    May God walk with you all and grant you peace. 

  • SharonH56
    SharonH56 Member Posts: 16 Member

    To the caregivers, I hope you

    To the caregivers, I hope you do not mind my interupting.  I really just wanted to say, as a warrior, none of us could face the day without all of you in our lives.  Your journey is different, and I cannot imagine what it is like for you or what my family was thinking, but we recognize the love and support you give.  It touches our hearts like you cannot know.  To have the ones who know the simpliest things - how we like our coffee or sandwich - means so much.

    May God walk with you all and grant you peace. 

    God bless the warriors in

    God bless the warriors in your struggles. We are there as caregivers because of the love, caring and respect we have for you. While we aren't the ones with the cancer in our bodies, cancer is a disease that attackes families and friends. I feel as if we are all in this together and pray for the day when an easy cure is found for all cancers. 

  • Robillina
    Robillina Member Posts: 11

    To the caregivers, I hope you

    To the caregivers, I hope you do not mind my interupting.  I really just wanted to say, as a warrior, none of us could face the day without all of you in our lives.  Your journey is different, and I cannot imagine what it is like for you or what my family was thinking, but we recognize the love and support you give.  It touches our hearts like you cannot know.  To have the ones who know the simpliest things - how we like our coffee or sandwich - means so much.

    May God walk with you all and grant you peace. 

    Thank you

    I appreciate your kind words. I wish my brother could express himself so eloquantly but what he lacks in words he makes up for in hugs. 

    Stay strong and be well.