How to help my father

Dale248 Member Posts: 1
edited July 2015 in Caregivers #1

My mother was diagnosed 4 years ago, and has been in treatment for the entire period. Up until recently things were going well, but in the past few weeks her condition has deteriorated. 


My father has become depressed and is in treatment with both a psychiatrist and a pschologist, but he is still very much suffering. I am worried that as my mother's condition worsens, so will his.


Both my 2 siblings and I visit them daily, and stay for a number of hours, but this doesn't seem to make much difference.


Can you suggest other ideas for how to help him?




  • j24
    j24 Member Posts: 15
    Hi Dale,
    I'm sorry you're

    Hi Dale,


    I'm sorry you're going through this. The most important thing you can do, you're already doing! Being there for your parents during this difficult time means the world, even if it doesn't seem like it or if you feel underapprecaited. 


    How are your mother's spirits? How are you and your sibilings spirits while you're there?


    All you can do is continue to be there for your family! My mother (stage 4 diffused large b cell non hodgkins lymphoma) really enjoys when people make her laugh! If they are up for watching television or movies, opt for something funny! Also, maybe try researching any good books on coping with cancer (if they're willing to read)

    Unfortunately, there is not much anyone can say or do during a time of sorrorw/depression. Your presence means the world! And by you reaching out for help on this blog, it shows that you are a compassionate person willing to do whatever it takes to hold your family together. I'm sure that comes across to your parents.


    Take care!

  • Robillina
    Robillina Member Posts: 11

    Hi Dale,

    I am going through something similar with my Mom. For us it is my brother who is sick. We are in year two and my Mom, a retired nurse, has been doing really well. However, this year my brother has deteriorated. Now my Mom is struggling with fatigue and emotional swings. I am really scared this will changed her personality. We have always been a happy family, we laugh a lot and still try to do that as often as we can but sometimes it's hard. I feel like whatever I do is never enough to help her. Luckily for me my Mom and I have an amazing relationship and she has started verbalizing to me how much she appreciates my help. I try to keep her spirits up. Mini breaks help a great deal. SHe is an avid reader so she and I snuck out to a place called the book barn. We could only spend an hour there but it was a beautiful day. We met some nice people who made us giggle and we each found a new book. I have a couple pics of us smiling. Its hard to laugh without feeling guilty sometimes.

    I also try to keep my brother smiling. When my Mom see's him in good spirits it helps her emotional state as well. It's a difficult balancing act for caregivers. We have to remember to take care of ourselves as we are caring for the people who have the diagnosis. I hope your Dad has a hobby or something he is interested in that can help to recharge his mind body and soul. Let him know it's okay to take a break, if he doesn't do this already.

    My suggestions seem so pitiful against what we are all facing. I've learned recently that the little things really do matter.

    Best wishes