Jeff Anderson treatment update

YoVita

Best of luck to you Jeff

Hoping that all goes well.  

Annabelle41415

Wishing you well

You are in my thoughts and prayers as all of this transpires.  Wishing you the best outcome and glad that you will soon have all this behind you.  May God step be with you every turn that comes your way.

Kim

danker

janderson1964 said:

Hope is certainly a good

Hope is certainly a good thing but cancer sure does test your hop in surviving at times.

hope

Only God knows the future, so all we can do is wait and hope.  Good luck!

MaggieCat

janderson1964 said:

Thanks Phil. as you know

Thanks Phil. as you know having a good plan even if you have to take matters into your own hands can certainly help your outcome. As you have probobly experienced when you have survived stage IV cancer this long it becomes a guessing game. It is so hard to do what you think is the right thing at the time without eliminating futures options as a result of what you do today.

What you said...

Cheering you on... and agree, guessing game ( and some smarts too) what to choose and what to leave for another day....hoping that NOW does what you need....

 

janderson1964

Annabelle41415 said:

Wishing you well

You are in my thoughts and prayers as all of this transpires.  Wishing you the best outcome and glad that you will soon have all this behind you.  May God step be with you every turn that comes your way.

Kim

Thank you for your thoughts

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers Kim.

traci43

Good luck Jeff

That's a busy, busy month for you.  I hope everything goes smoothly and you get those trouble spots taken care of.  Prayers for success, Traci

janderson1964

traci43 said:

Good luck Jeff

That's a busy, busy month for you.  I hope everything goes smoothly and you get those trouble spots taken care of.  Prayers for success, Traci

Thanks Traci

Thanks Traci

janderson1964

I did my first SBRT last week

I did my first SBRT last week while I was still on Xeloda. The last 3 days were brutal. First real bad diarrhea followed by 2 days of constipation not to mention extreme fatigue. I won't be on Xeloda this week when I go for my second SBRT treat. So hopefully it will be better. I was so miserable yesterday. I didnt want to mov, talk, or eat when I got home from work. My wife was so sad. I hate this disease more for what it does to my wife than what it does to me. I also saw my oncologist yesterday. Just routine visit. My wife kept asking me if there was something I wasn't telling her from the visit. She was so worried and sad. She tried to cheer me up and make me laugh but I am not a good actor. I can't force myself to laugh or look happy. I don't complain about anything to here because it will only make matters worse unless she senses that something is wrong. It is so sad which I am sure most of you have experienced.

Times like last night I want to tell her I am thinking about giving up and let the disease take it's course. At least I will feel weel for a while with no brutal treatments of one form or another. Then I look at her face and I can't possibly say that. She asked me a couple of times over the past year when I was feeling down if I was thinking of giving up with this look of absolute fear on her face. I just can't do that to her. I just don't want her to have false hopes. I seem to keep beating the odds and bouncing back unexpectedly even when things seem real bad. Either with a stable scan, good bloodwork/liver function or just getting on my mountain bike and riding like I used to.

Anyway I just had to express myself to the ones that understand. Onward and upward.

lilacbrroller

janderson1964 said:

I did my first SBRT last week

I did my first SBRT last week while I was still on Xeloda. The last 3 days were brutal. First real bad diarrhea followed by 2 days of constipation not to mention extreme fatigue. I won't be on Xeloda this week when I go for my second SBRT treat. So hopefully it will be better. I was so miserable yesterday. I didnt want to mov, talk, or eat when I got home from work. My wife was so sad. I hate this disease more for what it does to my wife than what it does to me. I also saw my oncologist yesterday. Just routine visit. My wife kept asking me if there was something I wasn't telling her from the visit. She was so worried and sad. She tried to cheer me up and make me laugh but I am not a good actor. I can't force myself to laugh or look happy. I don't complain about anything to here because it will only make matters worse unless she senses that something is wrong. It is so sad which I am sure most of you have experienced.

Times like last night I want to tell her I am thinking about giving up and let the disease take it's course. At least I will feel weel for a while with no brutal treatments of one form or another. Then I look at her face and I can't possibly say that. She asked me a couple of times over the past year when I was feeling down if I was thinking of giving up with this look of absolute fear on her face. I just can't do that to her. I just don't want her to have false hopes. I seem to keep beating the odds and bouncing back unexpectedly even when things seem real bad. Either with a stable scan, good bloodwork/liver function or just getting on my mountain bike and riding like I used to.

Anyway I just had to express myself to the ones that understand. Onward and upward.

Hang in there

push through the pain. You've got the right motivation. Eyes on the prize, or eyes on the eyes (your wife's). 

Hang in there. These treatments could be curative, right?

best of luck and I hope you start feeling like yourself again

karin 

janderson1964

lilacbrroller said:

Hang in there

push through the pain. You've got the right motivation. Eyes on the prize, or eyes on the eyes (your wife's). 

Hang in there. These treatments could be curative, right?

best of luck and I hope you start feeling like yourself again

karin 

Thanks Karin. I actully feel

Thanks Karin. I actully feel really good today. Had lunch with my wife and appologized for feeling bad yesterday. We just had a good time feeding and laughing at all of our animals.

hippiechicks

janderson1964 said:

I did my first SBRT last week

I did my first SBRT last week while I was still on Xeloda. The last 3 days were brutal. First real bad diarrhea followed by 2 days of constipation not to mention extreme fatigue. I won't be on Xeloda this week when I go for my second SBRT treat. So hopefully it will be better. I was so miserable yesterday. I didnt want to mov, talk, or eat when I got home from work. My wife was so sad. I hate this disease more for what it does to my wife than what it does to me. I also saw my oncologist yesterday. Just routine visit. My wife kept asking me if there was something I wasn't telling her from the visit. She was so worried and sad. She tried to cheer me up and make me laugh but I am not a good actor. I can't force myself to laugh or look happy. I don't complain about anything to here because it will only make matters worse unless she senses that something is wrong. It is so sad which I am sure most of you have experienced.

Times like last night I want to tell her I am thinking about giving up and let the disease take it's course. At least I will feel weel for a while with no brutal treatments of one form or another. Then I look at her face and I can't possibly say that. She asked me a couple of times over the past year when I was feeling down if I was thinking of giving up with this look of absolute fear on her face. I just can't do that to her. I just don't want her to have false hopes. I seem to keep beating the odds and bouncing back unexpectedly even when things seem real bad. Either with a stable scan, good bloodwork/liver function or just getting on my mountain bike and riding like I used to.

Anyway I just had to express myself to the ones that understand. Onward and upward.

Sorry to hear you had a rough

Sorry to hear you had a rough time this past tx. ... but I wonder if most of that was from the Xeloda?  I certainly remember telling my husband last time I was on chemo that I was not sure if I wanted to continue (actually both times I was on chemo) ... but, I like you looked at him and saw I could not do that. I have had two good years since then .. and although I am facing a rough summer, I am keeping my eye on these past few good years. Try to live each day at a time and on those days that aren't so good I just try to enjoy the smell of the air and the birds singing .. if that is all I can do .. then that I will.

It is tough while  feeling so crappy to feel positive .. but I really feel you've GOT this!  Push through .. get to the other side .. don't give in to the icky feeling if you have a chance to beat this! 

Keeping you in my prayers.

Trubrit

janderson1964 said:

Thanks Karin. I actully feel

Thanks Karin. I actully feel really good today. Had lunch with my wife and appologized for feeling bad yesterday. We just had a good time feeding and laughing at all of our animals.

Ph Jeff! You mustn't apologise

I know your wife wouldn't expect you to. She understands your bad days, even though they make her sad. 

We have a friend who has been living because his wife couldn't handle the thought of him passing. He has lived through many death scares just on that strenght. Sadly, his time is getting close, but he has fought well. 

SBRT will be over soon. Work you way through it, and I just know you'll bounce right back again. 

You have my prayers and all the good vibes I can send. 

Sue - Trubrit

janderson1964

Trubrit said:

Ph Jeff! You mustn't apologise

I know your wife wouldn't expect you to. She understands your bad days, even though they make her sad. 

We have a friend who has been living because his wife couldn't handle the thought of him passing. He has lived through many death scares just on that strenght. Sadly, his time is getting close, but he has fought well. 

SBRT will be over soon. Work you way through it, and I just know you'll bounce right back again. 

You have my prayers and all the good vibes I can send. 

Sue - Trubrit

Your so kind Sue. I know she

Your so kind Sue. I know she doesn't expect me to apologize and she said that. I just hate this thing stealing her joy. I think me apologizing was probobly a little selfish

janderson1964

hippiechicks said:

Sorry to hear you had a rough

Sorry to hear you had a rough time this past tx. ... but I wonder if most of that was from the Xeloda?  I certainly remember telling my husband last time I was on chemo that I was not sure if I wanted to continue (actually both times I was on chemo) ... but, I like you looked at him and saw I could not do that. I have had two good years since then .. and although I am facing a rough summer, I am keeping my eye on these past few good years. Try to live each day at a time and on those days that aren't so good I just try to enjoy the smell of the air and the birds singing .. if that is all I can do .. then that I will.

It is tough while  feeling so crappy to feel positive .. but I really feel you've GOT this!  Push through .. get to the other side .. don't give in to the icky feeling if you have a chance to beat this! 

Keeping you in my prayers.

You are so right. My

You are so right. My oncologist feels it had a lot to do with mixing the Xeloda with the radiation. He left it up to me to stop Xeloda for a while until I get through these treatments and ablations. Like you I had several long periods of NED. Especially the last one which was 4 years. I think back to that time a lot but I get sad and long for it again. Since then it has been over a year of non stop issues and various treatments and proceedures. The funny thing is I reflect mostly on that 4 year period more so than before I was diagnosed. I think that was the most happiest time in my life. 

Thanks for your support and you have a great attitude towards your situation as well.

hippiechicks

janderson1964 said:

You are so right. My

You are so right. My oncologist feels it had a lot to do with mixing the Xeloda with the radiation. He left it up to me to stop Xeloda for a while until I get through these treatments and ablations. Like you I had several long periods of NED. Especially the last one which was 4 years. I think back to that time a lot but I get sad and long for it again. Since then it has been over a year of non stop issues and various treatments and proceedures. The funny thing is I reflect mostly on that 4 year period more so than before I was diagnosed. I think that was the most happiest time in my life. 

Thanks for your support and you have a great attitude towards your situation as well.

  Good luck tomorrow!!

  Good luck tomorrow!!

Cathleen Mary

hippiechicks said:

  Good luck tomorrow!!

  Good luck tomorrow!!

Jeff, blessings on tomorrow.

Jeff, blessings on tomorrow. What a roller coaster of treatment.  Your marriage sounds so loving and strong....each concerned for the other. 

Strength and better days.

CM

janderson1964

Cathleen Mary said:

Jeff, blessings on tomorrow.

Jeff, blessings on tomorrow. What a roller coaster of treatment.  Your marriage sounds so loving and strong....each concerned for the other. 

Strength and better days.

CM

Thanks hippiechicks and CM.

Thanks hippiechicks and CM. You are so thoughful to notice I have treatment today by reading my schedule above. It took me a minute to realize how you knew. It should be better. No Xeloda this time. My IR who does the ablations just told me that his scheduler shouldn't have put me down for 7/9. He has a seminar in Brazil that day. So I am trying to rescheule for 7/2 instead. My other choice would be 7/16 but I would rather get it over with sooner than later. Oh well I was hoping to feel good for the long July 4th weekend. Similar thing happened last year. I had y90 radiation done to my liver on the Thursday before the 4th. I will take that as a good sign.

Easyflip

janderson1964 said:

Thanks hippiechicks and CM.

Thanks hippiechicks and CM. You are so thoughful to notice I have treatment today by reading my schedule above. It took me a minute to realize how you knew. It should be better. No Xeloda this time. My IR who does the ablations just told me that his scheduler shouldn't have put me down for 7/9. He has a seminar in Brazil that day. So I am trying to rescheule for 7/2 instead. My other choice would be 7/16 but I would rather get it over with sooner than later. Oh well I was hoping to feel good for the long July 4th weekend. Similar thing happened last year. I had y90 radiation done to my liver on the Thursday before the 4th. I will take that as a good sign.

Scheduling

is always a hassle! Good luck in your upcoming procedures, I've got a scan July 9. We spend a lot of time laying down on medical tables don't we? Happy 4th my friend.

Easyflip/Richard

janderson1964

Easyflip said:

Scheduling

is always a hassle! Good luck in your upcoming procedures, I've got a scan July 9. We spend a lot of time laying down on medical tables don't we? Happy 4th my friend.

Easyflip/Richard

Thanks Richard. You are so

Thanks Richard. You are so right about the medical tables and time spent.

Phil64

Inspiration

Jeff, your persistence and patience is an inspiration to me. Craig once said that a cancer battle is a marathon and you are running the race well. a You have my prayers tonight for the very best results!

 

Sending you Love and Light.

Phil