Hello darkness my old friend

beaumontdave
beaumontdave CSN Member Posts: 1,303 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1

Bittersweet news, my wife passed ten days ago of brain cancer, her celabration was amzing, family together and an Elvis impersonator to boot, cause she loved Elvis. Today I was scanned for my colon cancer, and the onc. calledd at 4, which usually is bad, but I'm clear on the PET scan. So my feelings are torn, but I get to be here a while longer to care for my kids, my son, my 14yo granddaughter. She's at peace and I can focus on the stuff I need to, for my family.

Comments

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit CSN Member Posts: 5,808 Member
    #2
    My heart-felt sympathies

    I am so sorry that your wife has passed away leaving you and the children. Its always seems to be harder when there are younger children left behind. 

    May you all find peace as you move forward with the beautiful memoires of your time together.

    Sue - Trubrit

  • KathiM
    KathiM CSN Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #3
    THAT is what I want, too!!!

    WHAT a loving hubby you are!!!!  I firmly believe in celebrating a life, not mourning it's end....

     

    And congrats on the good report!

     

    Give yourself time to heal, dear one...and my best tip is to keep her in your thoughts...and talk about her to others....the memory is SO important...

     

    Hugs, Kathi

  • hippiechicks
    hippiechicks CSN Member Posts: 509 Member
    #4
    I am very sorry for your pain

    I am very sorry for your pain and loss of your wife. 

    Try to give yourself a little happiness for your own good news right now.  I can imagine this is not easy .. but you are NED and that is something wonderful.  You are here and clear scans are great news.

    Celebrating her life is exactly the perfect thing to do for your family and yourself to heal.  Talking and memories do make things a little easier.

    My very best to you.

  • NewHere
    NewHere CSN Member Posts: 1,433 Member
    #5
    Sorry For Your Loss

    I am sorry for the loss of your wife.  Both she and your family sound very special and I hope the pain eases quickly and all the good memories remain.

    The PET scan news is good to hear, and wishing you continued health.

  • sflgirl
    sflgirl CSN Member Posts: 220 Member
    #6
    So sorry for your loss

    it sounds like you sent her off in a way she would have enjoyed and hopefully gave you some sense of peace.

    And your own news was good and lets you continue to care for your family and they get to care for you too.  Sounds like from your other post you are in a frame of mind with no regrets and for that I am so happy for you.

    we carry on and I know you will too.

    best wishes

  • TheLadySkye
    TheLadySkye CSN Member Posts: 203 Member
    #7
    I am so very sorry for the

    I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear wife.  You and your family are very much in my thoughts and prayers.  <3

  • UncleBuddy
    UncleBuddy CSN Member Posts: 1,019 Member
    #8
    sorry for your loss!

    What a sendoff! You are a wonderful husband. Enjoy your family! Honor her memory by having the best life you can!

    Lin

  • Easyflip
    Easyflip CSN Member Posts: 588 Member
    #9
    Good luck

    to you, I'm a 4 also. Love the Elvis too : )

    Easyflip/Richard

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave CSN Member Posts: 1,303 Member
    #10
    Thanks everyone, I was

    Thanks everyone, I was feeling pretty melancholy when I started the thread. I go to youtube and play a lot of old stuff, like Simon and Garfunkel while I surf, It's nice to have all your music available the way it is now. I find the kids are having a tougher time now, after her passing, than I am. I feel like I've turned a corner and want to get involved more in work, in projects, in going somewhere. Being the caregiver for the last two years out of six and a half that Cindy fought this battle, we lived in the moment, but were framed by the next appointments/treatments, and bound by her limits of stamina and energy. I tried to make the most of the times, for instance, she did her chemo at Palm Springs Regional, she'd sleep, so I'd walk the town for three hours and do about 5-6 miles. It's an interesting place to walk, although not so much in the summer. Anyway, I feel a huge loss, my partner in life, but I have to also say I feel free to move on and find my way with the memories of us there to take out, but not to be weighed down by the pain anymore. so forward......Dave

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