Kind of Want To Quit

carrebear03

Hi, I'm new to this site.  I'm just looking for someone to talk to.  I finished my treatments in the fall of last year but I just had my third surgery.  I'm just really struggling lately.  It doesn't make any sense because while I was going through it all I was fine.  Now I'm just a big disaster.  I'm tired all the time, I have no motivation, I worry a lot about if the cancer is hiding somewhere in me and we just don't know it yet.  I just feel a mess.  I have two little boys who are 3 1/2 and 2.  I love them more then anything but I just don't have the energy to chase them around and sometimes I just don't want to do anything at all and then I just feel guilty, like right now.  I just had surgery Tuesday so I am supposed to be taking it easy.  I'm just so tired I don't even want to go out and play or sit and watch them play sense I'm not supposed to do a lot yet.  I just want to sleep all the time.  I'm just so tired of it all.  I just want a normal life again.........whatever that maybe at this point.

morgamed

It's OK to feel this way

You have two beautiful babies that need you.  If you need more of YOU time take it.  You have to heal yourself first then everything else will fall in line.   I had to tell myself that life is only temporary and this was temporary.  I'm 9 months out now from my bilateral and I still want to sleep some days all day.  I cry wathing a hamberger commercial and I'm not sure if I fully have my taste buds back yet because my sweet tea kinda taste like motor oil.  Don't let it beat you... you beat it.. 

Come here and YELLLLLLLLLLL we will always have your back and be there for you.

 

 

GlowMore

Tired...

Love what Morga... said about YELLING   ***   but sure do know the TIRED feeling and how you just want to sleep....maybe this is the time to call on family and friends to take the kids for a few days and let you rest.   Your body is telling you it wants healing time and rest is very important....I was so tired after my chemo and radiation all I seemed to be able to do was get a shower and scramble an egg...and then lay down and read all day long.  Of course I was 66 years old and could do that and you have babies and can't.  So that's why I suggest calling in the help that is always offered and don't feel guilty about it........because you cannot care for others until you take care of YOU.   We send you Hugs and Prayers for Strength and Courage.   Glo

RozHopkins

You have changed, others

You have changed, others haven't around you, you have dealt well with a horrible shock.  Exhaustion, extreme fatigue and depression is very common for a long length of time for some of us after treatment.  How you ladies coped in the first place with little ones I do not know.  Talk to your cancer nurse and or oncologist.  Perhaps an antidepressant just to see if it helps.  You won't be on them for ever and they are not adictive these days.  Perhaps some time for yourself without your little ones even if only a few hours, can some one help?  I believe they are too young for school yet.  Get some exercise, a gym with a crèche.  Walk with your babies in tow.  Change your diet. If nothing lifts your mood after some time you need to see someone before you sink deeper.  It s ok and you can get out of this downward spiral and youR children will warm your heart again with help.  Good luck.

New Flower

RozHopkins said:

You have changed, others

You have changed, others haven't around you, you have dealt well with a horrible shock.  Exhaustion, extreme fatigue and depression is very common for a long length of time for some of us after treatment.  How you ladies coped in the first place with little ones I do not know.  Talk to your cancer nurse and or oncologist.  Perhaps an antidepressant just to see if it helps.  You won't be on them for ever and they are not adictive these days.  Perhaps some time for yourself without your little ones even if only a few hours, can some one help?  I believe they are too young for school yet.  Get some exercise, a gym with a crèche.  Walk with your babies in tow.  Change your diet. If nothing lifts your mood after some time you need to see someone before you sink deeper.  It s ok and you can get out of this downward spiral and youR children will warm your heart again with help.  Good luck.

Please reach out for help

It is normal feel tired after finishing treatment for several months. Please reach out to family and friends for help, you need emotional support and additional physical help.

Please stay connected with this board.

Hugs

button2

I felt the exact same way

I'm almost three years out and I remember feeling exactly as you describe. I was just saying yesterday to my husband how lucky I was to have teenage children and not toddlers. Not only did they help around the house, but they allowed me to sleep. Some days I was sleeping from noon to 10 pm and then a full night. This was after the treatment was over and lasted several months. I urge you to get family or babsitters to help you out to get the rest you need. It may take months, but I assure you good health is coming your way. Also try to eat the best diet you can and get in a bit of walking if you are up to it. About the cancer returning, I spent one terrible week at my treatment's end wondering if I was going to die since it finally hit me that I actually had cancer. Up to that point, I was kind of on auto-pilot. What brought me around was losing a dear 21 yr old nephew in a car accident and realizing that nobody knows how long they have on this earth. I am determind to enjoy myself whether it be for 10 days, 10 months, 10 years or whatever. After all, if we spend our time worrying about recurrence, won't we kick ourselves for the wasted time when we reach 80??

P.S. you can private message me anytime and I will answer same day - there is always someone to talk to!

Hugs, Anna

carrebear03

button2 said:

I felt the exact same way

I'm almost three years out and I remember feeling exactly as you describe. I was just saying yesterday to my husband how lucky I was to have teenage children and not toddlers. Not only did they help around the house, but they allowed me to sleep. Some days I was sleeping from noon to 10 pm and then a full night. This was after the treatment was over and lasted several months. I urge you to get family or babsitters to help you out to get the rest you need. It may take months, but I assure you good health is coming your way. Also try to eat the best diet you can and get in a bit of walking if you are up to it. About the cancer returning, I spent one terrible week at my treatment's end wondering if I was going to die since it finally hit me that I actually had cancer. Up to that point, I was kind of on auto-pilot. What brought me around was losing a dear 21 yr old nephew in a car accident and realizing that nobody knows how long they have on this earth. I am determind to enjoy myself whether it be for 10 days, 10 months, 10 years or whatever. After all, if we spend our time worrying about recurrence, won't we kick ourselves for the wasted time when we reach 80??

P.S. you can private message me anytime and I will answer same day - there is always someone to talk to!

Hugs, Anna

Thank you all for your

Thank you all for your support.  I have already faced the fact that I am have some depression going on.  I actually work in the department as my primary doc and she is AMAZING.  She started me on a medication last week.  She susggested I find a supposrt group in the area.  This online seems a little safer to me.  Your comments have helped me some already.  It just SO weird to me I'm struggling now after everything is over.

camul

carrebear03 said:

Thank you all for your

Thank you all for your support.  I have already faced the fact that I am have some depression going on.  I actually work in the department as my primary doc and she is AMAZING.  She started me on a medication last week.  She susggested I find a supposrt group in the area.  This online seems a little safer to me.  Your comments have helped me some already.  It just SO weird to me I'm struggling now after everything is over.

First time around
Iworked thru the treatmente, had 6 surgeries in 9 months. At first it was scarry,but while on treatment I think I had an inner strength. That I was fighting, blah,blah.... Then I was done!
That is when I struggled for a bit. My kids were teens and ex wouldnt be bothered. My family all lived out of state. Took a good year b4 I started to feel like me again.
Second time around. Kids in college, one married.. Should have been easier, but was stage iv. I told my doc that I needed to see a therapist. Found a group therapy at out Cancer Wellness House. Went 2x but didnt go in. 3rd week, I went. I have been going 1 or 2 x a month for 4 years now. All kinds of cancer, all stages, male and female. Brst thing ever. I love this on site group, but also get so much from my in person. Also get massages, accupuncture, Reike, spiritual volunteers, gentle yoga. A bunch of us will get together and go to minerl spas. We have lost a lot of friends, but also continue to have new people. Best thing is being with others who get where we are at. Especially the fatigue that can accompany this disease. Even my sisters who I talk to a lot, have no real clue. One day I feel ok, the next I canhardly get out of bed! Doesnt hurt to find a good group!
Wish you the best. This is one time toput yourself first, so you can be there for your beautiful boys.
Hugs,
Carol

Lilly9

camul said:

First time around
Iworked thru the treatmente, had 6 surgeries in 9 months. At first it was scarry,but while on treatment I think I had an inner strength. That I was fighting, blah,blah.... Then I was done!
That is when I struggled for a bit. My kids were teens and ex wouldnt be bothered. My family all lived out of state. Took a good year b4 I started to feel like me again.
Second time around. Kids in college, one married.. Should have been easier, but was stage iv. I told my doc that I needed to see a therapist. Found a group therapy at out Cancer Wellness House. Went 2x but didnt go in. 3rd week, I went. I have been going 1 or 2 x a month for 4 years now. All kinds of cancer, all stages, male and female. Brst thing ever. I love this on site group, but also get so much from my in person. Also get massages, accupuncture, Reike, spiritual volunteers, gentle yoga. A bunch of us will get together and go to minerl spas. We have lost a lot of friends, but also continue to have new people. Best thing is being with others who get where we are at. Especially the fatigue that can accompany this disease. Even my sisters who I talk to a lot, have no real clue. One day I feel ok, the next I canhardly get out of bed! Doesnt hurt to find a good group!
Wish you the best. This is one time toput yourself first, so you can be there for your beautiful boys.
Hugs,
Carol

Hang in there.   It does get

Hang in there.   It does get better but it takes time and you have to give yourself the time to heal.   Having one surgery is a lot - multiple will drag you down.  Ask for help and please accept any help that is offered!

GlowMore

Lilly9 said:

Hang in there.   It does get

Hang in there.   It does get better but it takes time and you have to give yourself the time to heal.   Having one surgery is a lot - multiple will drag you down.  Ask for help and please accept any help that is offered!

About that Wanting to Quit**

I hope and pray you will overcome that wanting to quit.........we have all been there and had that feeling at some point............but  NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP (as Winston Churchill said)....take a deep breath ....know that you are never alone either...whatever comes you have us and you have God.

Hugs,  Glo

yourbesthealth4life

treatment takes a lot out of

treatment takes a lot out of you and you may have to force yourself to get moving.  Also sounds like you might be depressed, I'd talk to your doc about that and see if they can help you.  I is not uncommon to feel this way and there is help and support for you.  Just don't give up!  

carrebear03

yourbesthealth4life said:

treatment takes a lot out of

treatment takes a lot out of you and you may have to force yourself to get moving.  Also sounds like you might be depressed, I'd talk to your doc about that and see if they can help you.  I is not uncommon to feel this way and there is help and support for you.  Just don't give up!  

I have been talking to my

I have been talking to my doctor and she did put me on some medication but now I can't sleep because insomnia is a side effect of the medication.  I do feel better on the medication I just wish I could sleep like a normal person now.  I think if I was able to I would feel even better then I do.  I've tried things to help me sleep but none of it really works well. SIGH

New Flower

carrebear03 said:

I have been talking to my

I have been talking to my doctor and she did put me on some medication but now I can't sleep because insomnia is a side effect of the medication.  I do feel better on the medication I just wish I could sleep like a normal person now.  I think if I was able to I would feel even better then I do.  I've tried things to help me sleep but none of it really works well. SIGH

Please call your doctor

please call your doctor and report your problem. Good sleep is the key for recovery. She might change medication or reduce your dose. You need to sleep.

  Keep us posted

hugs

carrebear03

New Flower said:

Please call your doctor

please call your doctor and report your problem. Good sleep is the key for recovery. She might change medication or reduce your dose. You need to sleep.

  Keep us posted

hugs

I actually work with my doc.

I actually work with my doc. I'm a medical assistant. Just new to the depression thing. Anyway.......she asked me this morning how it is going and said we may need to change medications all together. 

mdqxx

so sorry for side effects

Dear carrebear. I'm so sorry you are experiencing and suffering the real side-effects of treatment when you want to be able to have the energy and health to care for your family and yourself but feel incapable. That must feel even more fatiguing and helpless. Please take care as one day will come when you will pick up again and try not to expect the energy to play until then.  It will come, and your suffering will end!  Bless you!