How do you know?

skeets1961

My husband Mark has been on new chemo for 2 rounds now.  I think its Avastin and i can't think of the other one.  He is miserable, never feels good and says often "this isn't worth it".  He's pretty depressed but doesn't want an rx for it.  I've noticed his skin color is yellowish/grayish and he's just lost his umph.

My question is, how do you know if him being miserable is from the chemo or from the cancer taking over?

His most recent ct scan was 3 months after he started folfox and it had done nothing, in fact the cancer has spread and a few tumors doubled in sized.  He has an illeostomy which is bothersome to him.  Alot has happenend  in the past 5 months.

We don't ask the dr for a time frame as i believe the drs don't really know that....it's in God's hands.  He has stage 4 colon cancer, that mets to lungs, liver & stomach lining.  I just don't know what to think, I'm very sad about all of this and i'm trying to prepare myself for the worse while trying to have a brave face for him.

any words of wisdom?  i could use some right now.  Thanks.

Trubrit

My heart goes out to you

It is so hard to watch someone suffer, someone you love and care about. 

The colour of his skin sounds like what I had. I called it chemo yellow. An odd, pasty colour; not at all normal. And indeed, I remember telling my husband at times that I could never do the chemo again (then I had radiation, which made chemo look like a walk in the park). 

But alas, I cannot tell you that what he is experiencing is the same as what I experienced. What I can say though is for you to talk to your husband's Oncologist on your next visit. Ask him about the colour and his feeling of misery (which you may have already done, of course).  

You are so right not to ask for a time frame. We have folks here who are surviving with multiple mets, and I know they will pop on at some point to share their thuoghts with you. 

I wish you both all of the luck in the world. 

Sue - Trubrit

annalexandria

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

It's just such a hard path to walk, and I really feel for those of you who are caregivers. I honestly think it's harder for you guys than it is for us patients in many ways.

I think you need to have a talk with his doctor about the reasoning behind continuing the chemo he's presently on.  I did two regimens that both failed, and when stuff grew it meant it was time for a change.  If the FOLFOX isn't working he coud try FOLFIRI, which is one that does work for a lot of CRC folks.

I also think there comes a time when the topic of quality vs quantity of life has to be addressed.  Very, very hard to do, but it can help you and your husband to decide what to do next.  But if it was me, I would try a new regimen for at least a couple of rounds before making that call.  Even with significant spread, some people have great results from one drug and not from another.

Another thing to consider would be a clinical trial.  Have you looked into that?  You can go here to look for possibilities:

http://www.cancer.gov/clinicaltrials

 

Big hugs~AA

danker

Trubrit said:

My heart goes out to you

It is so hard to watch someone suffer, someone you love and care about. 

The colour of his skin sounds like what I had. I called it chemo yellow. An odd, pasty colour; not at all normal. And indeed, I remember telling my husband at times that I could never do the chemo again (then I had radiation, which made chemo look like a walk in the park). 

But alas, I cannot tell you that what he is experiencing is the same as what I experienced. What I can say though is for you to talk to your husband's Oncologist on your next visit. Ask him about the colour and his feeling of misery (which you may have already done, of course).  

You are so right not to ask for a time frame. We have folks here who are surviving with multiple mets, and I know they will pop on at some point to share their thuoghts with you. 

I wish you both all of the luck in the world. 

Sue - Trubrit

Sue

Even if you didn't use "trubrit" as a handle we would know you were a brit by the way you spell.  Americans spell it color. LOL

Trubrit

danker said:

Sue

Even if you didn't use "trubrit" as a handle we would know you were a brit by the way you spell.  Americans spell it color. LOL

That is true, Dan

Although some, who don't know that the British spell and pronounce the same words differently, just think that my spelling is appalling. 

Words like Diarrhoea, which is the English spelling and Diarrhea the American. tumour and tumor. Neighbour and neighbor. We certainly do like to add our U's into words.

Sue - Trubrit

skeets1961

annalexandria said:

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

It's just such a hard path to walk, and I really feel for those of you who are caregivers. I honestly think it's harder for you guys than it is for us patients in many ways.

I think you need to have a talk with his doctor about the reasoning behind continuing the chemo he's presently on.  I did two regimens that both failed, and when stuff grew it meant it was time for a change.  If the FOLFOX isn't working he coud try FOLFIRI, which is one that does work for a lot of CRC folks.

I also think there comes a time when the topic of quality vs quantity of life has to be addressed.  Very, very hard to do, but it can help you and your husband to decide what to do next.  But if it was me, I would try a new regimen for at least a couple of rounds before making that call.  Even with significant spread, some people have great results from one drug and not from another.

Another thing to consider would be a clinical trial.  Have you looked into that?  You can go here to look for possibilities:

http://www.cancer.gov/clinicaltrials

 

Big hugs~AA

AA, Onc did change the drugs

AA, Onc did change the drugs and he's had two treatments so far.  He will get another ct scan in 3 months.  He's now on Avastin and campostar (something like that).  TRying to keep a have a brave face at home can be hard.  Just gives me knots in my stomach.

annalexandria

skeets1961 said:

AA, Onc did change the drugs

AA, Onc did change the drugs and he's had two treatments so far.  He will get another ct scan in 3 months.  He's now on Avastin and campostar (something like that).  TRying to keep a have a brave face at home can be hard.  Just gives me knots in my stomach.

I know that campostar

has worked for other stage 4ers, so try to be hopeful.  Failing one regimen does not mean that the next one won't work!  I really hope this is the one that does the trick for your husband.  I know how terrible it is to watch someone you care about struggle with this terrible disease (my sister died from cancer, so I've been on both sides).  It is just awful.

Big hugs~AA

JanJan63

annalexandria said:

I know that campostar

has worked for other stage 4ers, so try to be hopeful.  Failing one regimen does not mean that the next one won't work!  I really hope this is the one that does the trick for your husband.  I know how terrible it is to watch someone you care about struggle with this terrible disease (my sister died from cancer, so I've been on both sides).  It is just awful.

Big hugs~AA

We Canadians spell the

We Canadians spell the British way, too. All I can add is that lots of people say the chemo is worse than the cancer. I know I lost my energy, my strength and could barely function while I was on it.