needing prayers

jas1973

My mom found out nearly a month ago she has stage 4  kidney cancer. Mom has been being treated for arthritis in her hip for months and months. At long last she finally went to er when her drs office couldnt give her  referrals or  appointments until 2 months out.  Mom was hospitalized for a week  and found that it has metastasized to a large spot on her hip and some small nodules in her lungs and a bump on her scalp.  It was all too much information at once,when we thought she had arthritis. The mass on her kidney was described as massive and will need an open syrgery to take it out. Because of her declining health they put off the surgery for her to build up her strength and gave her 10 radiation treatments on her hip to alleviate the pain.   Moms pain is still there but the radiologist assured her that the cancer cells  on her hip bone was killed. Mom has been so nervous and frightened of this upcoming surgery.  Yesterday was just awful, she was finally getting stronger and then she had to drink that magnesium citrate to clean out her bowels. It made her so weak and sick... she was up all night and  this morning she is so tired... we are here at the hospital waiting as she is getting prepped for this surgery. My dad is with her, but for a man who has never been good at showing emotion, he is a wreck.  

For a week or two I have been reading and searching this site for similarities and I have read so many of your stories. I'm so sorry what everyone has been through, but I'm very grateful  for all you have all shared about yourselves.  I've been trying to give my mom and dad hope by sharing some of your tories.  Mom has asthma and had trouble with anesthesia in the past so she has such anxiety about this surgery.  I've been trying to assure her they know what they are doing and they are going  take good care of her.

So here I am  waiting and praying 

 

 

Footstomper

I bet

In all the turmoil your mom thinks she is lucky to have produced such caring and loving offspring. It will mean so much to her as she goes through her ordeal

Dutch1

You have my prayers for your

You have my prayers for your mother and the family.  I pray that peace and strength will be there for you all.  Know that the doctors can do marvelous things, regardless of how tough the circumstances might be.

Dutch

APny

Dutch1 said:

You have my prayers for your

You have my prayers for your mother and the family.  I pray that peace and strength will be there for you all.  Know that the doctors can do marvelous things, regardless of how tough the circumstances might be.

Dutch

You and your family are in my

You and your family are in my prayers. Please let us know how the surgery went and how your mom is doing.

jas1973

Thank you  so much for all

Thank you  so much for all your words of kindness. Doing my best to stay strong for both of them. 

all of you are an inspiration

I will give an update when I can

my prayers are with all of you as well

Jojo61

Oh Jas, so very sad to hear

Oh Jas, so very sad to hear your story. It can't be easy. But you and your dad are there for her, and you also have our prayers and support.

Please keep us posted.

Hugs

Jojo

jas1973

The kidney has successfully been removed and the surgery went very well. The dr said it was approx 10 cm, but all of it was still contained and no other visible signs of cancer to her surrounding organs. He was very happy and feels that she did so well she will not need ICU,as previously suggested. He left us saying he was on his way to call her oncologist.  

This group really has given me a lot of strength knowing we are not alone in this. 

Thank you again for your prayers we have been blessed today

Terri065

jas1973 said:

The kidney has successfully been removed and the surgery went very well. The dr said it was approx 10 cm, but all of it was still contained and no other visible signs of cancer to her surrounding organs. He was very happy and feels that she did so well she will not need ICU,as previously suggested. He left us saying he was on his way to call her oncologist.  

This group really has given me a lot of strength knowing we are not alone in this. 

Thank you again for your prayers we have been blessed today

Jas, so happy to hear surgery

Jas, so happy to hear surgery went well. My prayers are with you and your family. 

God bless,

Theresa

 

sblairc

Yay! Good news!

So glad to hear the good news. And welcome!!

foroughsh

Hi, so sorry for all of this.

Hi, so sorry for all of this. I think it's nothing as bad as a doc telling you you have cancer except one, and that is to know your mom has it. When I realized I had cancer (I'm 36) I couldn't think of anything except my mom. What will happen to her if she loses her only child!!!   I feel dealing with mom's cancer is very difficult but I hope you are one of those strong guys who can manage how to deal with it. All i needed in those first months was to hear success stories, positive thoughts and prayers. You and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers, sending her my best wishes for full recovery.

cran1

jas1973 said:

The kidney has successfully been removed and the surgery went very well. The dr said it was approx 10 cm, but all of it was still contained and no other visible signs of cancer to her surrounding organs. He was very happy and feels that she did so well she will not need ICU,as previously suggested. He left us saying he was on his way to call her oncologist.  

This group really has given me a lot of strength knowing we are not alone in this. 

Thank you again for your prayers we have been blessed today

Outstanding news! Thoughts

Outstanding news! Thoughts and prayers with your mother and you.

APny

sblairc said:

Yay! Good news!

So glad to hear the good news. And welcome!!

Very glad to hear it all went

Very glad to hear it all went well. Wishing your mom and your family the best.

brea588

so sorry

so sorry your mom is so sick.  I will be praying for you and her and your dad.  Iknow this is hard for hime too.  Prayers

todd121

jas1973 said:

The kidney has successfully been removed and the surgery went very well. The dr said it was approx 10 cm, but all of it was still contained and no other visible signs of cancer to her surrounding organs. He was very happy and feels that she did so well she will not need ICU,as previously suggested. He left us saying he was on his way to call her oncologist.  

This group really has given me a lot of strength knowing we are not alone in this. 

Thank you again for your prayers we have been blessed today

Glad

Happy to hear the surgery went smoothly. Sending thoughts of healing, peace, strength to you all.

Todd

jas1973

Thank you for all you prayers

Thank you for all you prayers for my mom and dad and our family. Mom is doing really well and today she has finally been allowed to eat solid food. They are hoping to send her home this evening. My mothers recovery is going so well and she has amazed her drs. We were told she would need to spend  at least 2 days in ICU  after surgery, and then a week in the hospital and the to a rehab for another week. 

Mom never needed to go to ICU and she is leaving the hospital only 4 days after her surgery to go home and not a rehab facility. She has been up and walking since the day after, little by little.  We are looking forward to meeting with her oncologist so she can start  some form of treatment . Now that  she is off of the morphine pump her other pains from where the cancer had spread to have started to reappear again.  Praying that we can get this under control for her so  she won't hurt anymore...

shaval123

Praying for your mom.

Know that your Mom and family are in my prayers. Stay as positive as you can because prayer works and God makes the impossible POSSIBLE.

Bless you.

 

FLOSSER

jas1973 said:

Thank you for all you prayers

Thank you for all you prayers for my mom and dad and our family. Mom is doing really well and today she has finally been allowed to eat solid food. They are hoping to send her home this evening. My mothers recovery is going so well and she has amazed her drs. We were told she would need to spend  at least 2 days in ICU  after surgery, and then a week in the hospital and the to a rehab for another week. 

Mom never needed to go to ICU and she is leaving the hospital only 4 days after her surgery to go home and not a rehab facility. She has been up and walking since the day after, little by little.  We are looking forward to meeting with her oncologist so she can start  some form of treatment . Now that  she is off of the morphine pump her other pains from where the cancer had spread to have started to reappear again.  Praying that we can get this under control for her so  she won't hurt anymore...

Prayers going up

For you ,your Mom & family. I hope your Mom will be stronger each day. There are so many treatments to try. Glad you found CSN . SUZ 

jas1973

needing advice with negativity

So grateful for all the prayers....my mom was able to start  800mgVotrient and has been on it 1 full week now. She is awfully tired and nausea with it. also trying to get her pain managed properly..this has not been easy because my father is worried she is being over medicated. He has been trying to make her take fewer pain pills and she doesn't want to upset him  so she refuses her pain meds and suffers. My dad is upset and doesn't want us taking over. He fights my sister and I over everything we do.   My mom needs us and we are there for her as much as we possibly can be. I don't know how to get him understand how important it is to get her pain under control. I'm trying not to fight with my father, but I can't watch my mom suffer unnecessarily. my mom is so weak and gets confused as to what to do because of my father's temper. He doesn't know how to handle her being like this and is in complete denial of every aspect.  For the first few days my mom was so positive she even told me that she could feel her tumors shrinking. Now it feels as though my dad's negativity is wreaking havoc.  how do I help them to have peace and some positive thinking?  

Jas

 

 

 

Allochka

jas1973 said:

needing advice with negativity

So grateful for all the prayers....my mom was able to start  800mgVotrient and has been on it 1 full week now. She is awfully tired and nausea with it. also trying to get her pain managed properly..this has not been easy because my father is worried she is being over medicated. He has been trying to make her take fewer pain pills and she doesn't want to upset him  so she refuses her pain meds and suffers. My dad is upset and doesn't want us taking over. He fights my sister and I over everything we do.   My mom needs us and we are there for her as much as we possibly can be. I don't know how to get him understand how important it is to get her pain under control. I'm trying not to fight with my father, but I can't watch my mom suffer unnecessarily. my mom is so weak and gets confused as to what to do because of my father's temper. He doesn't know how to handle her being like this and is in complete denial of every aspect.  For the first few days my mom was so positive she even told me that she could feel her tumors shrinking. Now it feels as though my dad's negativity is wreaking havoc.  how do I help them to have peace and some positive thinking?  

Jas

 

 

 

It is very-very hard to

It is very-very hard to advise something in a situation like this... From one side - everything should be about your mom and her interests, because she has cancer and has to fight hard for her help.

On the other hand - I'm sure you dad loves her dearly and has her best interests at heart (as he understands them). And as  caregiver myself, I know how hard it is for us to watch loved ones suffer. So you dad needs support too.

As for over-medication - it happened to my aunt once, she was following docs' advises and got overmedicated, which made her act like someone with Alzheimers. As soon as dosages were decreased, she went back to her former sharp self. So overmedication can happen.

 

Perhaps the best thing for you sister and you to do would be to talk calmly to your dad, trying to support and understand him as well? The goal is to act like family and to support you mom, not to fight each other...

Hugs to you, I know it is hard.

 

NanoSecond

jas1973 said:

needing advice with negativity

So grateful for all the prayers....my mom was able to start  800mgVotrient and has been on it 1 full week now. She is awfully tired and nausea with it. also trying to get her pain managed properly..this has not been easy because my father is worried she is being over medicated. He has been trying to make her take fewer pain pills and she doesn't want to upset him  so she refuses her pain meds and suffers. My dad is upset and doesn't want us taking over. He fights my sister and I over everything we do.   My mom needs us and we are there for her as much as we possibly can be. I don't know how to get him understand how important it is to get her pain under control. I'm trying not to fight with my father, but I can't watch my mom suffer unnecessarily. my mom is so weak and gets confused as to what to do because of my father's temper. He doesn't know how to handle her being like this and is in complete denial of every aspect.  For the first few days my mom was so positive she even told me that she could feel her tumors shrinking. Now it feels as though my dad's negativity is wreaking havoc.  how do I help them to have peace and some positive thinking?  

Jas

 

 

 

Another approach

Does your dad respect her doctor(s)?  If so, have one of them write a prescription that says that she is not to suffer any pain, etc...

Jojo61

NanoSecond said:

Another approach

Does your dad respect her doctor(s)?  If so, have one of them write a prescription that says that she is not to suffer any pain, etc...

I was thinking the same

I was thinking the same thing, Neil. The "older generation" usually really respects whatever the doctor says. However, I remember my mom was also hesitant on taking pain pills - worrying about becoming addicted to pain pills - she was stage IV lung cancer! Addiction was the least of our worries. Another option is to ask your dad what he is afraid of, as far as being over medicated. Try and lay out the pros of the medication (quality of life, help her get healthier faster, feel more positive about getting better, etc.)

Wishing you all the best.

Hugs

Jojo