Husbands stage 4 colon ca w/mets

Rsdmk
Rsdmk Member Posts: 8
in Colorectal Cancer #1

It's been awhile since I've posted anything. My husbands cancer has had it's ups and downs and now as I write this he is in the dying process. He hasn't had any fold and just enough water to get meds down I called hospice in and the kit they send is just a cocktail of drugs to murder the patient (my opinion) I'm thankful he's not in much pain so I'm not using what they sent. I'm so full of so many feelings but have a calm straight face around him. I'm losing my best friend,lover,mechanic,chef and spider killer the one person I could always depend on this is one of the most excruciating things a person could go through my only solace is that he found The Lord,was baptized and went to the alter so I know he's going to a better place

Comments

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    #2
    I'm so sorry.  I don't know

    I'm so sorry.  I don't know what else to say, but just come here and vent and let out what you can't in front of him.

    prayers and thoughts are with you.

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,804 Member
    #3
    My thoughts are with you

    I am sorry to hear that your husband has come to the end of his journey.  It is a time to be strong and a time to be weak. I pray that you will find the strength to make these last moments with your husband something to treasure. 

    I pray that he will continue to not have pain. That is a blessing indeed. 

    Know that we are here for you. 

    Please keep us updated, so that we can continue in thought and prayer (for those inclined). 

    Sue - Trubrit

  • Easyflip
    Easyflip Member Posts: 588 Member
    #4
    I'm sorry

    as he transitions to another place. It is sad but your belief is that you will see him again so it's more of a so long for now as opposed to a permanent good bye, take solace in that. Keep his memory bright.

    Easyflip/Richard

  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    #5
    So sorry

    I am so sorry to hear this news.

    I am also sorry that you have not had better support from your hospice folks.  It must vary from location to location, as the support I got for my sister was excellent.  They arranged for immedicate special furniture, oxygen and supplies.  There was someone in every day, more often if we needed them.  They did give us a box of meds which were to insure that the pain was controlled.  Those were only administered on their instruction.

    Being a care giver is a very tough job.  Your hubby is lucky to have you by his side.

    Peace to you both.

    Marie who loves kitties

  • LindaK.
    LindaK. Member Posts: 506 Member
    #6
    So sorry

    I'm so sad to read your update.  My husband was on home hospice for about 3 weeks and then I had to take him to an inpatient hospice facility.  I felt the home hospice program was not so great, but once he was inpatient, they were fantastic.  It really gave me peace of mind to spend all my time and energy to just be with him.  They took care of everything else.  He was released from the hospital on 9/29/14 and I took him to the facility on 10/22/14.  That was one of the most difficult steps in this journey.  I knew I couldn't care for him at home anymore since he was falling, sleeping much more so not taking his meds regularly, confused, agitated, etc.  I was in charge of all his meds.  The Visiting Nurse Hospice group came in at least once/week.  At night, their service was poor at best.  We all know emergencies usually happen at 2 am, not between 9 and 5 M-F.  We had a choice of two home hospice services and I contacted my husband's palliative care doctor to look into switching after 2 night time emergencies when I was told to do the opposite of what they told me before.  It was scary for me to be the one in charge while my husband was suffering.  It was exhausting for me because I never really slept because I always was listening for him.  Once admitted to the facility, my husband never had another pan episode or seemed agitated or uncomfortable.  He passed away there on 11/2/14.  While the entire thing was difficult, I'm glad he did not pass at home in our bed.  I don't think I would have done well with that afterwards.  We had discussed this while he was still in the hospital.  I told him I would keep him home until I felt it was no longer safe for him or me and that's exactly what I did.

    I wish you peace and comfort during this transition for your husband.  Feel free to contact me if you'd like to.

    Linda

  • lilpep1972
    lilpep1972 Member Posts: 80
    #7
    Sorry :(

    Very sorry to hear :( my thoughts and prayers are with you Both.... Know in your heart that you will meet again I really believe that whole heartily. Smile often and laugh lots 

  • Cathleen Mary
    Cathleen Mary Member Posts: 827 Member
    #8
    lilpep1972 said:

    Sorry :(

    Very sorry to hear :( my thoughts and prayers are with you Both.... Know in your heart that you will meet again I really believe that whole heartily. Smile often and laugh lots 

    I am so sorry that you are

    I am so sorry that you are both at his point. It certainly sounds like you have a wonderful marriage and have been there for each other through everything. 

    I, too, unlike others, had a very bad experience with hospice. You are not alone in this either.

    Please know that you are in my heart and prayer.

    CM

  • skeets1961
    skeets1961 Member Posts: 56
    #9
    I'm so sorry for your pain.

    I'm so sorry for your pain.  Just reading this breaks my heart for you and it reminds me i will be in your shoes some day.  May God give you peace and strength to get through this transition.  I am so happy he has accepted the Lord!  That will bring you some comfort in the days ahead.   Lifting you up in prayer.

  • Rsdmk
    Rsdmk Member Posts: 8
    #10
    He went to be with The Lord

    He went to be with The Lord on feb 20th @ 10:17 pm he passed in my arms. I spent 8 months fighting along side him and now I find myself lost I miss him so very much the pain and all the emotions that go along with this whole ordeal is so very hard to deal with

  • LindaK.
    LindaK. Member Posts: 506 Member
    #11
    Rsdmk said:

    He went to be with The Lord

    He went to be with The Lord on feb 20th @ 10:17 pm he passed in my arms. I spent 8 months fighting along side him and now I find myself lost I miss him so very much the pain and all the emotions that go along with this whole ordeal is so very hard to deal with

    Sorry

    I'm so sorry to read this.  I know your pain.  Grief is hard.

    Linda

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    #12
    Rsdmk said:

    He went to be with The Lord

    He went to be with The Lord on feb 20th @ 10:17 pm he passed in my arms. I spent 8 months fighting along side him and now I find myself lost I miss him so very much the pain and all the emotions that go along with this whole ordeal is so very hard to deal with

    So very sorry for your loss. 

    So very sorry for your loss. 

  • LivinginNH
    LivinginNH Member Posts: 1,456 Member
    #13
    Rsdmk said:

    He went to be with The Lord

    He went to be with The Lord on feb 20th @ 10:17 pm he passed in my arms. I spent 8 months fighting along side him and now I find myself lost I miss him so very much the pain and all the emotions that go along with this whole ordeal is so very hard to deal with

     My sincere condolences, and

     

    My sincere condolences, and may his love for you warm your heart and soul forever.

    Withy sympathy,

    Cynthia

  • mbeaulieu
    mbeaulieu Member Posts: 16
    #14
    Rsdmk said:

    He went to be with The Lord

    He went to be with The Lord on feb 20th @ 10:17 pm he passed in my arms. I spent 8 months fighting along side him and now I find myself lost I miss him so very much the pain and all the emotions that go along with this whole ordeal is so very hard to deal with

    I am sorry

    I am very sorry for your loss.  I just experienced the same with my mom, who was only 58 when she passed in hospice.  It is very hard... I hope you have an amazing support system xo

  • NewHere
    NewHere Member Posts: 1,428 Member
    #15
    Rsdmk said:

    He went to be with The Lord

    He went to be with The Lord on feb 20th @ 10:17 pm he passed in my arms. I spent 8 months fighting along side him and now I find myself lost I miss him so very much the pain and all the emotions that go along with this whole ordeal is so very hard to deal with

    I Am So Sorry For Your Loss

    Thoughts are with you for peace and healing.

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,804 Member
    #16
    Rsdmk said:

    He went to be with The Lord

    He went to be with The Lord on feb 20th @ 10:17 pm he passed in my arms. I spent 8 months fighting along side him and now I find myself lost I miss him so very much the pain and all the emotions that go along with this whole ordeal is so very hard to deal with

    Peace be with you

    I am so very sorry.  

    May you find peace in the coming months, but please, be good to yourself; and take the time heal.

    Sue - trubrit

  • Yolllmbs
    Yolllmbs Member Posts: 360 Member
    #17
    NewHere said:

    I Am So Sorry For Your Loss

    Thoughts are with you for peace and healing.

    Prayers

    and cyber hugs. Prayers for peace and strength. I know it's tough when we lose our loved ones. Take your time and love yourself. We all move forward at a different pace. 

     

    Yolanda

  • skeets1961
    skeets1961 Member Posts: 56
    #18
    Rsdmk said:

    He went to be with The Lord

    He went to be with The Lord on feb 20th @ 10:17 pm he passed in my arms. I spent 8 months fighting along side him and now I find myself lost I miss him so very much the pain and all the emotions that go along with this whole ordeal is so very hard to deal with

    So sorry to hear this.  You

    So sorry to hear this.  You have my prayers for peace and strength.

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