Just diagnosed...

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  • Mary1864
    Mary1864 Member Posts: 39
    #42
    TrustHopeLove said:

    You've given me so much hope in so few postings!

    NewHere,

    I am also new here. My husband was just diagnosed with stage IV (mets to liver and peritoneum). I'm the primary caregiver. He will start FOLFOX soon. The oncologists think chemo first, surgery (hopefully) later. I'm so scared.

    Your posts have been refreshing to read--even though it seems totally ridiculous to say that about cancer treatment. I'll be honest. I'm really freaked out.

    He's only 33 and I'm only 27. All of the doctors and nurses and social workers (the hospital system we chose assigns a social worker as part of the care team--which is amazing) are always so suprised to see us. If it's a doctor or nurse we haven't met they usually ask us if the patient is in the bathroom or something like that.

    So far we've only heard bad news and talked to people who tell us to prepare for the end. So far, nobody has talked to us about fighting back and how to go about that.

    Your posts have been helpful, and hopeful. Thanks!

    It does feel that you are bombarded with bad news in beginning

    I hated the first meetings with the surgeon and onc doc....they throw statistics at you while you feel numb...just kindof in shock.  I have been through all the initial testing and had surgery.  Went for the simple procedure inserting chemo port and they punctured my lung, hospitalized for a week.  Chemo pushed back another week.  I had my path carved, ready to get to chemo, and was knocked down.

    I have told myself to take this one step at a time.  The difference with this disease is loss of of control.  You are involed in making decisions about your treatment, but I still feel that this is all somewhat of a guessing game, an educated guessing game.  I feel that this will be easier to cope with if I am able to accept what I cannot contol.

    Focus on what is next and get through that....ask for advice, but be careful....how treatments affect one is not how it affects another. And in the meantime....you and your husband must live.  This does not define you.  

    And it is not fair to only consider the bad outcomes....i dont like people telling me to stay positive...i always felt better trying to be realistic...that is, consider all possibilities....

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