From a guy who is anything but a crybaby

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  • RaleighMusicGuy
    RaleighMusicGuy Member Posts: 27
    #22
    jcruz said:

    grieving

    You are not alone in your grief.  I too grieved for the loss of the life I had before I heard those words "I'm sorry to have to tell you ..."  That day is a marker of this change in my life.  In the early days of seeing a therapist I spent a long time talking about the before and after.  I think it was an important part of my grieving process.  I didn't start seeing my therapist until nearly a year after the diagnosis and about 3 months after I had returned to work and was unable to live in "the normal world".  I felt like I was living in parallel to the rest of the world and I couldn't cross over to that other side.  I needed to talk with someone who really listened and didn't try to cheer me up or talk me into feeling grateful for my survival or tell me to see the blessings I received from my experience.  It is still not easy sometimes to accept that I live in this new chapter of my life and I long for the way I lived prior to July 16, 2012.  As for the lonely journey, I so relate to your envy of those who have a spouse or partner next to them.  I am surrounded by friends and loved deeply by my beautiful faraway daughter but still have a longing sometimes for someone to hold my hand anytime day or night.

    It is just a day or an hour or a minute at a time.  It's good to hear you will hold your head up and I believe your optimism will return.

    Janet

    Janet

    Thank you for your genuine, heart-felt response.  Your words mean so much to me.  It's people like you that I would love to have around me, supporting, reaching out, talking, and caring.  Unfortunately, my personality has not proven to be such that it attracts people to me.  Never has.  I wish that was all different.  Except, for Dan, my best friend, I have no one to talk with.  He lives on the other side of Raleigh, so I only see him for a few hours on Saturday.  Although we communicate in some way every day.  You are so very fortunate to have those supporting you.  Well, I have no other choice but to give it my all and wait for the day when I can look back and faintly remember the struggles.

     

    I sincerely appreciate your warm, compassionate words.

     

    Blessings,

    Michael

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