Sundanceh/Craig

Sundanceh

Kathleen808 said:

Craig

Craig,

I wish I could do something to lift some of your pain.  I can offer friendship, love, admiration and hope that you will have another big recovery.  I hope the best for you my friend.

 

Aloha

Kathleen

Hi Kathleen

Thanks for saying hi....nice to see you.  Now get your Santa Craig CD out and Mele Kalikima to you and yours.

craig

annalexandria

Sundanceh said:

It's ok Art

were all on the sidelines watching our friends suffer while we mostly helplessly watch.

But we give our support and that's what we can do for one another.

i do take it a day at a time.....back pain alone 16 months now....everyday 24 hours a day.....so I'm doing it...and it is hard.  These latest issues keep me occupied all day and night....so physically and mentally tiring....sleep is not easy now as I'm up and down every hour or two.

the days ebb on seemingly endless....then the shadow passes from day to night and the loneliness, separation and emptiness can sometimes consume you. TV is my friend but it's mostly reruns and sometimes not enough.

i never knew how hard it was to live 22 hours each and everyday for a year and a half.  Still mentally active but physically tied to bed is not right.  

Anyway thanks again for writing know you're trying to help...it's all good.

-Craig 

Do you have Netflix?

Can you watch shows on your computer?  If you can, then Netflix has a lot of good shows.  Kept me distracted during some of the worst of it.  And if you're interested, I'm sure "Santa" could get you a membership.

Sundanceh

annalexandria said:

Do you have Netflix?

Can you watch shows on your computer?  If you can, then Netflix has a lot of good shows.  Kept me distracted during some of the worst of it.  And if you're interested, I'm sure "Santa" could get you a membership.

I'm good Annie

one day perhaps right now cable is enough but thank you so much.....it's hard passing twenty hours everyday no matter what's playing:(

youte sweet and thanks again 

Sundanceh

Sundanceh said:

I'm good Annie

one day perhaps right now cable is enough but thank you so much.....it's hard passing twenty hours everyday no matter what's playing:(

youte sweet and thanks again 

Hi again

a little apprehensive right now....so much I'll have to do just to get there.

the uribary problem from probable bowel issue really turns up the heat.

i can't live like this indefinitely and yet I'm worried that he wont.Be able to pass the scope through....then if he does what is happening....and then the fallout from that.

Nothing I can do and it will be a long day...whether I come home or are admitted to the hospital is any of our guesses.

i want to be home for Xmas unless critical.  

Im judt really tired and hurting....makes my 7th or 8th procedure this year...16th or 17th total so far and I'm probably not done just yet.

Just needed to say hi.....we'll be at the brand new hospital so first well see the day procedure first.....supposed to be a first rate hospita...I'm sure it will be nicer.

see you

craig

Sundanceh

Sundanceh said:

I'm good Annie

one day perhaps right now cable is enough but thank you so much.....it's hard passing twenty hours everyday no matter what's playing:(

youte sweet and thanks again 

Annie

on 2nd thought

save the Netflix and ask Santa to send me some good news and health instead:)

LOL

annalexandria

Sundanceh said:

Annie

on 2nd thought

save the Netflix and ask Santa to send me some good news and health instead:)

LOL

You know you've got that coming

from all of us!  

Pls let us know how your visit goes...we're all going to be worrying about you until we hear.

(and if you change your mind about the Netflix, just PM me. I got it myself from a friend when I was in the hospital and it was a great thing to have)

Phil64

Sundanceh said:

Thanks

I appreciate the post Winter...thank you.  And also thanks to everyone who posts on this thread.

i basically don't eat anymore holding a little over buck 50 for weight.  Along with cancer and pain I've got digestive issues with bowel from pain pills and who knows what else.

i stopped urinating suddenly....only way to go is hot water shower....this makes going places or making any kind of appt s challenge and difficult... a real challenge...went to urologist and tests were inconclusive.

i decided to see my colorectal guy and he did physical exam.  He initially thinks partial impactiion could be severe.  Told me to do 30 enemas but I'm so sore there the plastic tip hurts on insertion.  Im already going 12-20# a day without....and without eating how am I producing?

Im basically living off of chocolate milk and bites of fig newton or some cookie...sometimes one pancake.

I'm caught in a vicious cycle I cannot currently escape from.....it's scary.  Hope it's not a tumor revealing itself...there is so much pressure in there just constant.

So I will be going in for a flex sigmoid exam to see what he can see.  Im worried all he sees will be $hit...so many things to worry about.  Outside of dr appt I'm still mostly bedridden except for bathroom runs, so painful.

So Sundance just has too much to fight it seems....I'm sad that the days are rolling past and I now find myself a prisoner of my own body.  And I lose ground when I have to stop chemo for surgery.  I could not make my last infusion because it would take too long with waiting on labs, dr visit and infusion itself...the urge to pee and being unable to go is painful and frightening event.

Hopefully we"lol find an answer...this is no life and I've lost much functionally this time through...I keep losing and not winning...part of me just wants to die some days...but I just hang on as best I can.

What happened?

So much I have not told you....did not want to burden the community with my troubles so I've kept quiet about it.....the holidays and all that.

Were I ever to get out of this mess it would be my greatest trick ever!

The new hospital is opening and its supposed to be real nice with flat panels and better food I won't be able to eat:) I should be seeing a lot of the new place in '15. 

Still trying to get back surgery...I continue to give to them but they have not given back to me...but the word is still trying; trial ends next month.

I miss my old life very much...my retirement sucks due to issues and financially difficult as well.

I really miss all of you...miss being what I was here and to my wife.....she handles most everything now and still works full time career.

What they told us from the beginning rings loud and true today - "If you have your health then you are blessed."

I would add that when you can go to the restroom with no problemS / you're truly blessed and fortunate...it's a gift that most of us take for granted.  

I could use a prayer or two if you had one to spare:). Best wishes will work as well...I need some help and feel like I'm slipping or something.

Thanks for checking on me...now you know why I kept my mouth shut:)

Love you guys with what I've got left.  Hope to get out some of this if its in the cards to do so.

Take care...youve got me beat Winter.  I can barely do anything and read where others are living their cancer more fully....part of me longs for that so much....it hurts.

Hope I can rejoin you once again:)

All my best to all - keep fighting!

I still plan to - for awhile at least.

-Craig

Prayers

Craig, you continue to be in my prayers. I truly admire how tough you are and your unrelenting fight! I pray and hope that you will find releif from the current challenges / symptoms and get that cancer into a remission once again!

 

Sending Love and Light to you Craig, today and everyday...

 

Philip

Phil64

Sundanceh said:

Roger that!

Maybe I can surprise the community one more time:)

I'm looking for the comeback!

I'm going to call you Joe...  Cause he was the king of come-from-behind wins!!!  Go Joe!!!