Post about after cancer/ostomies and people who don't think.

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Helen321
Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member

I posted this on the colon board because that's the board I'm usually on but aftewards I thought, this might be a board that relates a little better.  I'm singing a serious case of the blues this week.  Trying to get over my pity party and get myself to a happy place. . . . . 

 

For all those doing chemo today or on their umpteenth surgery reading this, I'm sorry to whine about this, believe me with what you're going through today, it is not worth your time to read this post=)  I seriously appreciate that what you're going through is bigger than any of this.

I went on the ostomy boards in the beginning but the ostomy boards are full of people who have temporaries or haven't had cancer or can't relate to anal removal and going on there makes me seriously depressed so I stopped.  I tried in the beginning but people would complain about having to live with "this horrible bag" for a few months or most were dealing with IBS and I didn't like hearing that they all had options.  It's hard to have an ostomy and not have a place to talk about it.  I'm now NED for 22 months and still thinking daily about food and better habits to figure out how to stay that way, trying to move on, deal with the mental side of all of this, deal with my divorce, adjust to my new body and figure out how to explain this to a perspective suitor one day.  My therapist (I started going to one at Sloan) says worry about the dating stuff when I get there and for the most part I'm able to do that but my seperation is so new I'm not really into the whole "just focus on yourself" thing yet.  So I'm settling in to the idea that I can do all of this, I'm doing a few flights of stairs, successfully giving up the candy that I crave, switching to almonds and cashews, really appreciating each and every day.  22 months out from surgery and 4 months as a single person, I'm starting to adjust to life really well and then last week my friend/coworker sends me this . . . 

"How to Poop at Work".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4jfxAVaDFw

Now 23 months ago or maybe 48 months ago really (chemo and radiation sure sucked the joy out of using the bathroom), I would have found this funny (It's not really that funny but the idea of the things women go through just to poop at work has some humor).   But to send this to me now is like sending a video about running to a man that just lost his legs.  I didn't want to make a big deal about it with her because she's a coworker and we just aren't friendly like that so when she came over and said did you see it and I said no and then sent it to me again and again, I finally did watch it.  I should have just said you know it's not really something I want to watch right now but she thinks I overthink things even when I was dealing with cancer.  She always said I was so overdramatic and that has always made me feel a little uncomfortable, maybe I felt a little that way sometimes about my reactions and so it hit me when she said it but truthfully, sometimes I felt terrified.   I just didn't want to have this conversation with her anymore.  I have to say this video was a serious downer.   The depression has me suddenly back at rock bottom.  I mean just a few months out of surgery rock bottom, how am I ever going to date anyone, I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life, if I even make it to 50, rock bottom.  It set off some hidden thoughts and they mostly hit me at bed time when I'm alone and it's quiet.  Where the heck did all of this come from?  Sure I've been secretly worried about the cancer coming back, especially as my 45th birthday approaches, birthdays have a different meaning now, how many more will I have whether cancer gets me or something else?  When people talk about the future, 10 years from now, sometimes I'm okay and sometimes I think, I may not be here.  Wow, I really may not be here!  Recently though, I was able to go days and sometimes a whole week (and even little beyond) without the thought of cancer or death, with 45 coming, I was thinking about turning 50 and maybe even 55 and hey maybe even 65!  I can't seem to see myself past that age in my head at least yet.

Most people who know are very respectful to not talk much about going to the bathroom and there are a few stragglers who bring up the cancer which is okay because they care enough to make sure I'm okay.   The one thing is you don't talk marathons to a person who recently lost the ability to walk and you don't talk funny poop stories with people who have recently attained permanent ostomies.  I wish I didn't have to say that out loud and that it was understood.  I'm going to try some positive focus. I haven't really slept much in the last few years and I think that the constant overtired (I rarely sleep through the night anymore) does have me overthinking a lot of things that I would have normally just shrugged off a few years ago, like people who say dumb things.  It's hard to shrug off cancer or major body changes, I think it takes some overthinking to get to a good point.  I thought I was in the middle of healing but I'm realizing I'm more at the beginning and the beginning doesn't feel very good sometimes.

Comments

  • eihtak
    eihtak Member Posts: 1,473 Member
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    Helen321.....

    I love this post and so thankful that you've shared with us. I too have a permanent ostomy as a result of anal cancer (3 1/2 yrs now) and can COMPLETELY relate to your feelings about "funny poop stories."

    I once told someone that having an ostomy and then expecting others to understand all the details involved in life with it might compare to a young girl having her period in a ficticious community of people who have never had and/or never even heard of such a thing and can only fabricate in their minds what it must be like. They are just not capable.  I am lucky, I manage well and as of today have had only minor issues with adjusting to this way of life.  I had my share of complications early on and am thankful to have had the help I did at that time. Still, that being said, even our medical staff can not grasp the ins and outs of this all the time so I have come not to expect others to know what they just can not. One does however deserve a level of respect and would like to think that "common sense" about comments made is used.....but not always.

    After my ostomy adjustment I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a double mastectomy, but still I find myself amazed at the "boob" stories that apparently people think I'm immune to.

    I have tried to convince myself that if others who know my situation, and I actually otherwise consider my friends or even family, are that comfortable talking about poop, boobs, or body image issues in my company, maybe it just means that in their eyes I'm doing so well that they don't consciously think they are being insensitive. I try again to convince myself that in some way it is a compliment and a testament of the hope I may have inspired in them in both my future and theirs as well. I try...........but its not always easy!

    I don't know that healing has a beginning, middle or an end. Its a maze and sometimes we hit a wall and need to back up and keep trying. Maybe for people recovering from traumatic events (in this case cancer) the process is ongoing and there never really is an end at all we just adapt to the process??????

    I occasionally go to the ostomy site C3Life  I don't post much but read through some different forums. Many members there have permanent ostomies and you might want to check it out. There is a section about intimacy issues if you're interested in advice on what to say to that perspective suiter that is sure to be a part of your life some day! The biggest help for me ostomy-wise has been a fabulous in-person support group. It is so reassuring to be able to speak face to face with others openly about any challenges we may face. There are several people in the group who have had cancer as well as others without along with a mix of ages. I don't know if you have access to a group, but could be of help if so.

    Anyhow, I've kind of rambled here but I'm back in college at 56 yrs old and have learned the art of procrastination on homework assignments so best tackle that. Remember that we all have good days and days that are not so good, but I wish your good days to be plentiful!!

    Be well.........

    katheryn

     

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member
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    eihtak said:

    Helen321.....

    I love this post and so thankful that you've shared with us. I too have a permanent ostomy as a result of anal cancer (3 1/2 yrs now) and can COMPLETELY relate to your feelings about "funny poop stories."

    I once told someone that having an ostomy and then expecting others to understand all the details involved in life with it might compare to a young girl having her period in a ficticious community of people who have never had and/or never even heard of such a thing and can only fabricate in their minds what it must be like. They are just not capable.  I am lucky, I manage well and as of today have had only minor issues with adjusting to this way of life.  I had my share of complications early on and am thankful to have had the help I did at that time. Still, that being said, even our medical staff can not grasp the ins and outs of this all the time so I have come not to expect others to know what they just can not. One does however deserve a level of respect and would like to think that "common sense" about comments made is used.....but not always.

    After my ostomy adjustment I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a double mastectomy, but still I find myself amazed at the "boob" stories that apparently people think I'm immune to.

    I have tried to convince myself that if others who know my situation, and I actually otherwise consider my friends or even family, are that comfortable talking about poop, boobs, or body image issues in my company, maybe it just means that in their eyes I'm doing so well that they don't consciously think they are being insensitive. I try again to convince myself that in some way it is a compliment and a testament of the hope I may have inspired in them in both my future and theirs as well. I try...........but its not always easy!

    I don't know that healing has a beginning, middle or an end. Its a maze and sometimes we hit a wall and need to back up and keep trying. Maybe for people recovering from traumatic events (in this case cancer) the process is ongoing and there never really is an end at all we just adapt to the process??????

    I occasionally go to the ostomy site C3Life  I don't post much but read through some different forums. Many members there have permanent ostomies and you might want to check it out. There is a section about intimacy issues if you're interested in advice on what to say to that perspective suiter that is sure to be a part of your life some day! The biggest help for me ostomy-wise has been a fabulous in-person support group. It is so reassuring to be able to speak face to face with others openly about any challenges we may face. There are several people in the group who have had cancer as well as others without along with a mix of ages. I don't know if you have access to a group, but could be of help if so.

    Anyhow, I've kind of rambled here but I'm back in college at 56 yrs old and have learned the art of procrastination on homework assignments so best tackle that. Remember that we all have good days and days that are not so good, but I wish your good days to be plentiful!!

    Be well.........

    katheryn

     

    Thanks Katheryn. I'm going to

    Thanks Katheryn. I'm going to check out the site.  I really would like to find someone who was able to date without an anus.  I was doing incredibly well mentally until I got separated. I didn't have to think about these things. Life just sort of moved on and my ostomy routine became part of my normal and I rarely think about it.  I have so much going on all at once it just hit me hard when she sent me that video.  I have a senile cat, my daughter came home with a disabled dog and a now 2 year old, my 15 year old is combative and my 17 year old had kidney surgery last year and is now having serious digestive issues.  Add to that that I catch every cold and sniffle.  She just piled it on.  I think what is getting to me is not only did she send it to me, she asked me twice and sent it again and again to make sure I had seen it. I almost feel like she was being cruel.  It's amazing how many people do this to others. I can't believe people would feel so comfortable discussing your breasts, I don't know why they would. I woke up (after another night of dealing with a crying senile cat followed by bad dreams) and am deretmined to be happy today, let it all go and just enjoy this Friday. I'm glad it's the weekend and I can nap and just be. I think I just needed to write it downto be free of it. It just seems so trivial compared to cancer problems but mental weight can get very heavy.

     

    and to the back in college, good for you!!! My mom got a second degree when she was in her 60s. She also taught adults to read on weekends. She said it made her happy.

  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
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    Helen

    I was glad to read your second post and know that you are feeling better.  When I read your initial post, I was very angry--not at you, of course, but the person who hurt you so badly.  I watched part of the youtube video and was sitting here quite in disbelief that 1) someone created this video, thinking it was amusing, and 2) that your co-worker would keep sending it to you until you finally watched it.  That is beyond cruel and insensitive.  I am sorry for all that you've been through with your diagnosis, surgery, etc.  That should be enough cruelty for anyone, but unfortunately, there are people out there who are just obvlious to the suffering that we go through, both physically and emotionally.  Not until they or someone close to them must go through what we've been through can they truly understand.  That is no excuse, however.  Since I have had cancer, I have no problem telling people when they have crossed the line with jokes and comments about my disease.  If I were you, I would pull this person aside and let her know how much this hurt you--that you forgive her for it, but that she needs to know that you deal with things on a daily basis that she just could not imagine.  There is nothing funny about having cancer or dealing with the aftermath.

    With that being said, I have found that sometimes being able to keep a sense of humor about things helps to keep me sane.  However, I share that humor with only a very close circle of people--those on sites such as this one who understand.  As my avitar says, it's nice having people you can share things with who will not make crass remarks.  Poop stories are part of my life now, but I only share those with others who may be dealing with the same issues.  That avitar is actually the front of a greeting card that I found in a Kohl's store while buying some other cards.  I couldn't believe it was on a greeting card.

    You have so many things to deal with in your life and my heart goes out to you.  I really think speaking to this person in a calm tone and letting her know that her actions were hurtful and insensitive would be a good thing to do.  I think about the next person she may hurt.  Anyway, that's just how I would handle it.

    I wish you all the best and want you to know that you can come here any time to talk about whatever issues you are dealing with.  This is a great group of people.  We are good listeners and we're here for you!  Take care.

    Martha 

  • Adam26
    Adam26 Member Posts: 125
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    Helen,
    Like your co-worker, I

    Helen,

    Like your co-worker, I *touch wood* don't have cancer so I can't 100% understand what you are going through, not as much as the others on here at least. However, I have been virtually alone in looking after my mum who had (we use past tense) it, since we aren't close with the rest of our family and so I know about a lot of the sh*t you have to deal with. 

    Personally, i find it quite annoying that your co worker says you were 'overreacting'. I wonder if she would use the same word if she herself had cancer? Maybe then it wouldn't be an overreaction at all. Secondly, no friend would be inconsiderate enough to send you cr*p like that. One thing my mum has learnt through this ordeal is that you know who your friends are, who your friends aren't and how to recognise a flake when you see it - people who want to be there at the beginning when the cancer is 'exciting', but after 6 months when you're still fighting in the proverbial trenches, they are nowhere to be seen. I don't want to sound condescending here (I realise it's easy for me to give positive advice as I have not had to go through what you have), but I would look at the bright side, at least you know who your friends are and aren't. You'll be infinitely stronger mentally as well, far stronger than your idiotic co-worker. 

    As for your worrying about a reccurence, I believe 22 months is a really good thing, right? Obviously there is no 100% guarantee that it won't return, but then you could say the same about any illness, which we could all potentially get. I think just living for the day is a good thing, not because of the condition you had, but because in life anything can happen to us all.

    Finally, with regards to being alone, you never know what is around the corner. I think happiness comes from within and self-acceptance, your current condition is something you should be proud of as it's a sign of YOUR victory over cancer, something that you alone overcame, and boy I know what an achievement that is. Take happiness from yourself and your hobbies etc and live for the day. And good luck to you! Adam 

  • lp1964
    lp1964 Member Posts: 1,239 Member
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    Dear Helen,

    First I thought I would email you in private, but you seem to be so open about your most intimate issues that I hope you don't mind me sharing my view in "public" and maybe this will help other people too.

    As you know we almost have the same story of rectal cancer, colostomy and divorce (separation). Cancer and the colostomy is of course a huge burden on the body and mind. We are lucky to be doing so good after the cancer, but now that we get to live, we all have to deal with the aftermath.

    I was in a new relatinship when I was diagnosed and tanks god she went through with it with me, but I would lie if I said it was easy. I am much more sensitive, irritable, impatient no matter how much I try not to be. Because of my side effects I was on disabilty for almost a year. Now I started working again dealing with the colostostomy as a dentist with my ostomy next to my patients' ear is very embarassing sometimes, because it makes noises. Talking about needing a sense of humor. I just say-"I'm sorry, I have an upset stomach". Nothing else I can do.

    Relationship: having to wear the bag put a huge dent in my selfimage and selfesteem. My wife seems to be OK with it, but I am still not. I try to be very private about it and its always on my mind.

    Recently I had a breakthrough though. After my colonoscopy prep I noticed that I have no output for 4 days. So now I take 3 tablespoon of Milk of Magnesia twice a week to clean myself out and only ware a stoma patch with filter in between. It looks like a 3 inch bandaid and not like a bag dangelling around. Finally I feel free and comfortable when I shower or in intimate moments.

    I am in a good marriage now, but if someting should happen I feel comfortable that I would be confident to date again. And so should you. I know you enough that you a kind hearted, strong person and you will be ok. When you are feeling down, change your physical environment right away. Go for a walk and you will feel better.

    Laz

  • eihtak
    eihtak Member Posts: 1,473 Member
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    lp1964 said:

    Dear Helen,

    First I thought I would email you in private, but you seem to be so open about your most intimate issues that I hope you don't mind me sharing my view in "public" and maybe this will help other people too.

    As you know we almost have the same story of rectal cancer, colostomy and divorce (separation). Cancer and the colostomy is of course a huge burden on the body and mind. We are lucky to be doing so good after the cancer, but now that we get to live, we all have to deal with the aftermath.

    I was in a new relatinship when I was diagnosed and tanks god she went through with it with me, but I would lie if I said it was easy. I am much more sensitive, irritable, impatient no matter how much I try not to be. Because of my side effects I was on disabilty for almost a year. Now I started working again dealing with the colostostomy as a dentist with my ostomy next to my patients' ear is very embarassing sometimes, because it makes noises. Talking about needing a sense of humor. I just say-"I'm sorry, I have an upset stomach". Nothing else I can do.

    Relationship: having to wear the bag put a huge dent in my selfimage and selfesteem. My wife seems to be OK with it, but I am still not. I try to be very private about it and its always on my mind.

    Recently I had a breakthrough though. After my colonoscopy prep I noticed that I have no output for 4 days. So now I take 3 tablespoon of Milk of Magnesia twice a week to clean myself out and only ware a stoma patch with filter in between. It looks like a 3 inch bandaid and not like a bag dangelling around. Finally I feel free and comfortable when I shower or in intimate moments.

    I am in a good marriage now, but if someting should happen I feel comfortable that I would be confident to date again. And so should you. I know you enough that you a kind hearted, strong person and you will be ok. When you are feeling down, change your physical environment right away. Go for a walk and you will feel better.

    Laz

    Laz.....

    I'm glad you mentioned the Milk of Magnesia.......I have been controlling my output as well with food, limited food, or occasional M o M for a while now that it has become second nature and I often forget to mention it. I too wear a stoma patch at times or at least don't worry about output for a day or so, and yes it is a feeling of freedom!!! 

    You are right, doing well or not, it is always on ones mind, but I'm glad to hear you are finding this adjustment do-able and sounds as though you are well.

    katheryn

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member
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    lp1964 said:

    Dear Helen,

    First I thought I would email you in private, but you seem to be so open about your most intimate issues that I hope you don't mind me sharing my view in "public" and maybe this will help other people too.

    As you know we almost have the same story of rectal cancer, colostomy and divorce (separation). Cancer and the colostomy is of course a huge burden on the body and mind. We are lucky to be doing so good after the cancer, but now that we get to live, we all have to deal with the aftermath.

    I was in a new relatinship when I was diagnosed and tanks god she went through with it with me, but I would lie if I said it was easy. I am much more sensitive, irritable, impatient no matter how much I try not to be. Because of my side effects I was on disabilty for almost a year. Now I started working again dealing with the colostostomy as a dentist with my ostomy next to my patients' ear is very embarassing sometimes, because it makes noises. Talking about needing a sense of humor. I just say-"I'm sorry, I have an upset stomach". Nothing else I can do.

    Relationship: having to wear the bag put a huge dent in my selfimage and selfesteem. My wife seems to be OK with it, but I am still not. I try to be very private about it and its always on my mind.

    Recently I had a breakthrough though. After my colonoscopy prep I noticed that I have no output for 4 days. So now I take 3 tablespoon of Milk of Magnesia twice a week to clean myself out and only ware a stoma patch with filter in between. It looks like a 3 inch bandaid and not like a bag dangelling around. Finally I feel free and comfortable when I shower or in intimate moments.

    I am in a good marriage now, but if someting should happen I feel comfortable that I would be confident to date again. And so should you. I know you enough that you a kind hearted, strong person and you will be ok. When you are feeling down, change your physical environment right away. Go for a walk and you will feel better.

    Laz

    Thanks Laz, I know you're a

    Thanks Laz, I know you're a private guy so it means a lot. I am very open on the boards, not so much outside of them.  I considered doing irrigation but websites suggested it takes an hour a night. Let me know if you continue to like it. The video I watched used water.

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member
    Options
    lp1964 said:

    Dear Helen,

    First I thought I would email you in private, but you seem to be so open about your most intimate issues that I hope you don't mind me sharing my view in "public" and maybe this will help other people too.

    As you know we almost have the same story of rectal cancer, colostomy and divorce (separation). Cancer and the colostomy is of course a huge burden on the body and mind. We are lucky to be doing so good after the cancer, but now that we get to live, we all have to deal with the aftermath.

    I was in a new relatinship when I was diagnosed and tanks god she went through with it with me, but I would lie if I said it was easy. I am much more sensitive, irritable, impatient no matter how much I try not to be. Because of my side effects I was on disabilty for almost a year. Now I started working again dealing with the colostostomy as a dentist with my ostomy next to my patients' ear is very embarassing sometimes, because it makes noises. Talking about needing a sense of humor. I just say-"I'm sorry, I have an upset stomach". Nothing else I can do.

    Relationship: having to wear the bag put a huge dent in my selfimage and selfesteem. My wife seems to be OK with it, but I am still not. I try to be very private about it and its always on my mind.

    Recently I had a breakthrough though. After my colonoscopy prep I noticed that I have no output for 4 days. So now I take 3 tablespoon of Milk of Magnesia twice a week to clean myself out and only ware a stoma patch with filter in between. It looks like a 3 inch bandaid and not like a bag dangelling around. Finally I feel free and comfortable when I shower or in intimate moments.

    I am in a good marriage now, but if someting should happen I feel comfortable that I would be confident to date again. And so should you. I know you enough that you a kind hearted, strong person and you will be ok. When you are feeling down, change your physical environment right away. Go for a walk and you will feel better.

    Laz

    ooops

    Ooops

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member
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    eihtak said:

    Laz.....

    I'm glad you mentioned the Milk of Magnesia.......I have been controlling my output as well with food, limited food, or occasional M o M for a while now that it has become second nature and I often forget to mention it. I too wear a stoma patch at times or at least don't worry about output for a day or so, and yes it is a feeling of freedom!!! 

    You are right, doing well or not, it is always on ones mind, but I'm glad to hear you are finding this adjustment do-able and sounds as though you are well.

    katheryn

    Hi Katheryn. You've both

    Hi Katheryn. You've both definitely peaked my interest. It would be nice to take a breaj for a few days which happens naturally once in a rare while but it would great to control it.

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member
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    Adam26 said:

    Helen,
    Like your co-worker, I

    Helen,

    Like your co-worker, I *touch wood* don't have cancer so I can't 100% understand what you are going through, not as much as the others on here at least. However, I have been virtually alone in looking after my mum who had (we use past tense) it, since we aren't close with the rest of our family and so I know about a lot of the sh*t you have to deal with. 

    Personally, i find it quite annoying that your co worker says you were 'overreacting'. I wonder if she would use the same word if she herself had cancer? Maybe then it wouldn't be an overreaction at all. Secondly, no friend would be inconsiderate enough to send you cr*p like that. One thing my mum has learnt through this ordeal is that you know who your friends are, who your friends aren't and how to recognise a flake when you see it - people who want to be there at the beginning when the cancer is 'exciting', but after 6 months when you're still fighting in the proverbial trenches, they are nowhere to be seen. I don't want to sound condescending here (I realise it's easy for me to give positive advice as I have not had to go through what you have), but I would look at the bright side, at least you know who your friends are and aren't. You'll be infinitely stronger mentally as well, far stronger than your idiotic co-worker. 

    As for your worrying about a reccurence, I believe 22 months is a really good thing, right? Obviously there is no 100% guarantee that it won't return, but then you could say the same about any illness, which we could all potentially get. I think just living for the day is a good thing, not because of the condition you had, but because in life anything can happen to us all.

    Finally, with regards to being alone, you never know what is around the corner. I think happiness comes from within and self-acceptance, your current condition is something you should be proud of as it's a sign of YOUR victory over cancer, something that you alone overcame, and boy I know what an achievement that is. Take happiness from yourself and your hobbies etc and live for the day. And good luck to you! Adam 

    Thanks Adam and Martha. I

    Thanks Adam and Martha. I didn't say anything to her because it was work but really she's sending something personal so you're right, I absolutely will. I think I was a little shell shocked last week. This week I'm back to feeling okay about life.  I've gotten rid of so many friends since cancer. I've also picked up some new ones and I hope I have become a goos friend as well. And Adam 22 months is PHENOMENOL. My first and only recurrence was within 9 weeks. Knock on wood, throw salt over shoulder. Thanks for the support, it's much appreciated!

  • lp1964
    lp1964 Member Posts: 1,239 Member
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    Dear Helen,

    I don't irrigate and I don't think I ever will. I'm not gonna spend one hour every day and making a big mess. Plus washing everything out including all the good germs with 1-3 quarts of water doesn't seem like a good idea. I take some laxative twice a week, let all things come out , but the good bugs stay and wear a patch for 3-4 days is perfect for me. I feel really free again. the only thing I still need to figure out what not to eat, because I still have a lot of gas.

    Laz

  • pializ
    pializ Member Posts: 508 Member
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    lp1964 said:

    Dear Helen,

    I don't irrigate and I don't think I ever will. I'm not gonna spend one hour every day and making a big mess. Plus washing everything out including all the good germs with 1-3 quarts of water doesn't seem like a good idea. I take some laxative twice a week, let all things come out , but the good bugs stay and wear a patch for 3-4 days is perfect for me. I feel really free again. the only thing I still need to figure out what not to eat, because I still have a lot of gas.

    Laz

    Laz

    Those of us living past cancer treatment is thankfully increasing. Making that post treatment self compatible with our chosen lifestyle is tricky. I am so glad you have now achieved something that is acceptable. 

    Best wishes

    Liz

  • eihtak
    eihtak Member Posts: 1,473 Member
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    Helen321 said:

    Thanks Laz, I know you're a

    Thanks Laz, I know you're a private guy so it means a lot. I am very open on the boards, not so much outside of them.  I considered doing irrigation but websites suggested it takes an hour a night. Let me know if you continue to like it. The video I watched used water.

    Helen, Laz, and anyone else.......

    While I have never irrigated (and probably just won't mess with it) I know people that swear by it. There is a man in my support group who has been irrigating his colostomy for over 10yrs now every 3rd day. He has a routine that works for him and loves not worrying about output in between. I don't know if there is any relation but he has had a couple of hernias in the stoma area and surgery for a prolapse which are both issues we as ostomates are a bit at risk for. I am pretty active and do light yoga in an attempt to keep ab muscles toned (although they are no where near what they once were), as a strong core is best at preventing hernias in that area. Keep in mind if starting a workout routine, DO NOT overdue or you may cause one.....best to strengthen from the sides.

    Anyhow....I wonder if the constant irrigation has weakened some of his muscles????

    On gas....yup, we all have it! People without ostomies are passing gas unknowingly all day, we just notice it because its trapped. The bags with filters help some but filters eventually clog and don't work. I know some people who take things like bean-o and gas-x but I personally have not tried that. Others claim some less gas if they eat papaya regularly. For me, dried apricots seem to naturally sort of "clean me out." Sometims if I pre-plan, I eat easily digested food for a day, like soups and light meals, followed by apricots, and I'm pretty "empty". To limit gas I find just a spoonful of yogurt throughout the day seems to help. I used to keep a food journal to track what worked best for me because so much of it is trial and error as we all react different to different foods.

    Hope this finds you all well......word of caution....Thanksgiving stuffing is sure to cause gas!!

    Be well,

    katheryn

     

  • lp1964
    lp1964 Member Posts: 1,239 Member
    Options
    eihtak said:

    Helen, Laz, and anyone else.......

    While I have never irrigated (and probably just won't mess with it) I know people that swear by it. There is a man in my support group who has been irrigating his colostomy for over 10yrs now every 3rd day. He has a routine that works for him and loves not worrying about output in between. I don't know if there is any relation but he has had a couple of hernias in the stoma area and surgery for a prolapse which are both issues we as ostomates are a bit at risk for. I am pretty active and do light yoga in an attempt to keep ab muscles toned (although they are no where near what they once were), as a strong core is best at preventing hernias in that area. Keep in mind if starting a workout routine, DO NOT overdue or you may cause one.....best to strengthen from the sides.

    Anyhow....I wonder if the constant irrigation has weakened some of his muscles????

    On gas....yup, we all have it! People without ostomies are passing gas unknowingly all day, we just notice it because its trapped. The bags with filters help some but filters eventually clog and don't work. I know some people who take things like bean-o and gas-x but I personally have not tried that. Others claim some less gas if they eat papaya regularly. For me, dried apricots seem to naturally sort of "clean me out." Sometims if I pre-plan, I eat easily digested food for a day, like soups and light meals, followed by apricots, and I'm pretty "empty". To limit gas I find just a spoonful of yogurt throughout the day seems to help. I used to keep a food journal to track what worked best for me because so much of it is trial and error as we all react different to different foods.

    Hope this finds you all well......word of caution....Thanksgiving stuffing is sure to cause gas!!

    Be well,

    katheryn

     

    Funny Statistics.

    An average person releases gas 14 times a day, but Superman can even fly.

    Laz

  • Ouch_Ouch_Ouch
    Ouch_Ouch_Ouch Member Posts: 508 Member
    Options
    lp1964 said:

    Funny Statistics.

    An average person releases gas 14 times a day, but Superman can even fly.

    Laz

    Ha! Ha!

    Maybe that's why he flies - jet propulsion.

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member
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    lp1964 said:

    Dear Helen,

    I don't irrigate and I don't think I ever will. I'm not gonna spend one hour every day and making a big mess. Plus washing everything out including all the good germs with 1-3 quarts of water doesn't seem like a good idea. I take some laxative twice a week, let all things come out , but the good bugs stay and wear a patch for 3-4 days is perfect for me. I feel really free again. the only thing I still need to figure out what not to eat, because I still have a lot of gas.

    Laz

    I'm going to talk to the

    I'm going to talk to the ostomy association so that I can learn the options  I like the idea of emptying out and moving on.