3 time loser

That's what I'm calling myself.  But more appropriately, it's more like Cancer Version 3.2.

 

On Monday this week, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, with spread to axilla nodes.  That makes 3 cancers, and 1 additional borderline form in 2 years.

I'm in shock.  But not surprised.  I don't know what the treatment plan will be yet.  I have multiple appointments set up over the next 4 weeks, but from what I've been told, surgery won't be until the New Year.  Whether that happens before or after my planned 4th Thyroid cancer surgery (to remove a sternal tumor we've been watching for 15 months) I don't know. 

I hate this.  Cancer sucks.  How can this possibly be happening to me?? I'm 42.  And on the verge of saying no to all of it.  Not sure I have the emotional strength to go through with it.:)

 

 

Comments

  • Phredswife
    Phredswife Member Posts: 162
    You are not a loser. You are lovely!

    So sorry . This totally sucks. You have had enough to deal with but you can do this! You are an awesome, strong person! Thinking of and praying for you. Hope you have some friends to support you through this . If you don't I'm here. I'm just in New Zealand which isn't much help physically but message me anytimeSmile

    Hugs Melissa xox

  • rainsandpours
    rainsandpours Member Posts: 136

    You are not a loser. You are lovely!

    So sorry . This totally sucks. You have had enough to deal with but you can do this! You are an awesome, strong person! Thinking of and praying for you. Hope you have some friends to support you through this . If you don't I'm here. I'm just in New Zealand which isn't much help physically but message me anytimeSmile

    Hugs Melissa xox

    You're so sweet, thank you

    You're so sweet, thank you xoxo.

     

    I haven't really told anyone yet.  just may family and work.  I'm not ready for the "omg you're dying" looks I'll receive.  I'm think I'm sinking into denial.  I'm truly holding out hope that they don't schedule me for surgery until at least Jan (which if you know the CDN health system is likely anyway) as I have a trip paid for over xmas and I'm  not cancelling it.  It's what's keeping me going.  I want to spend that week on the beach playing with my son. 

     

    Right now it's just the hurry up and wait phase.  Again.

  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member

    You're so sweet, thank you

    You're so sweet, thank you xoxo.

     

    I haven't really told anyone yet.  just may family and work.  I'm not ready for the "omg you're dying" looks I'll receive.  I'm think I'm sinking into denial.  I'm truly holding out hope that they don't schedule me for surgery until at least Jan (which if you know the CDN health system is likely anyway) as I have a trip paid for over xmas and I'm  not cancelling it.  It's what's keeping me going.  I want to spend that week on the beach playing with my son. 

     

    Right now it's just the hurry up and wait phase.  Again.

    That stinks.

    enuff said. Good luck and enjoy your trip.

  • Jojo61
    Jojo61 Member Posts: 1,309 Member
    It just keeps coming, doesn't

    It just keeps coming, doesn't it? I have heard stories from all around that are quite discouraging stories. I am chalking it up to November. So having said that, I know it can be quite devestating to keep facing this over and over. Try and stay strong. You have more than your trip to keep you going! You have your son, your friends and family.

    I know that when I get overwhelmed by the challenges in my life, going out with my friends, watching a funny movie - anything upbeat and fun - helps me get through the darkness, and even to forget it sometimes.

    Take care, hon.

    Hugs,

    Jojo

     

  • rainsandpours
    rainsandpours Member Posts: 136
    Jojo61 said:

    It just keeps coming, doesn't

    It just keeps coming, doesn't it? I have heard stories from all around that are quite discouraging stories. I am chalking it up to November. So having said that, I know it can be quite devestating to keep facing this over and over. Try and stay strong. You have more than your trip to keep you going! You have your son, your friends and family.

    I know that when I get overwhelmed by the challenges in my life, going out with my friends, watching a funny movie - anything upbeat and fun - helps me get through the darkness, and even to forget it sometimes.

    Take care, hon.

    Hugs,

    Jojo

     

    thanks all :)
     
    I think it's

    thanks all :)

     

    I think it's hit me particularly hard is because I've been pretty sick the last 8 days.  Started with the Flu (even after the flu shot), morphed into a very painful kidney infection (knew that one straight away), now I suspect bronchitis and a sinus infection.  I'm not feeling any better and the antibiotics aren't doing squat.  I see my ENT tomorrow and I'm going to have him give me something else.  Feeling so rotten has depressed me badly, and more cancer news....

  • Poirier66
    Poirier66 Member Posts: 12

    thanks all :)
     
    I think it's

    thanks all :)

     

    I think it's hit me particularly hard is because I've been pretty sick the last 8 days.  Started with the Flu (even after the flu shot), morphed into a very painful kidney infection (knew that one straight away), now I suspect bronchitis and a sinus infection.  I'm not feeling any better and the antibiotics aren't doing squat.  I see my ENT tomorrow and I'm going to have him give me something else.  Feeling so rotten has depressed me badly, and more cancer news....

    I'm so sorry to hear whT you

    I'm so sorry to hear whT you are going through. It pretty recent to me as well and I'm 48 dealing with the CDn health care. I am having an open partial nephrectomy dec 1. My whole world seemed to close in on me. But with that being said cancer cure has come a long way and we have to take courage to beat this. It been 3 weeks since I was told about my tumor and it been emotional so I can only imagine where you have been through this before that it is discouraging to have to do it again. Where was you first cancer and how long has it been?

  • Djinnie
    Djinnie Member Posts: 945

    You're so sweet, thank you

    You're so sweet, thank you xoxo.

     

    I haven't really told anyone yet.  just may family and work.  I'm not ready for the "omg you're dying" looks I'll receive.  I'm think I'm sinking into denial.  I'm truly holding out hope that they don't schedule me for surgery until at least Jan (which if you know the CDN health system is likely anyway) as I have a trip paid for over xmas and I'm  not cancelling it.  It's what's keeping me going.  I want to spend that week on the beach playing with my son. 

     

    Right now it's just the hurry up and wait phase.  Again.

    Sorry to hear your news Rains!

    Hey Rains, I am very sorry to hear your news, it simply beggars belief! You are a very strong woman, but all of this is enough to test anyone's strength and fortitude.  Christmas with your son on some beautiful beach, sounds just what you need at the moment, plus plenty of sunshine:)

     

    Djinnie x

     

  • rainsandpours
    rainsandpours Member Posts: 136
    Poirier66 said:

    I'm so sorry to hear whT you

    I'm so sorry to hear whT you are going through. It pretty recent to me as well and I'm 48 dealing with the CDn health care. I am having an open partial nephrectomy dec 1. My whole world seemed to close in on me. But with that being said cancer cure has come a long way and we have to take courage to beat this. It been 3 weeks since I was told about my tumor and it been emotional so I can only imagine where you have been through this before that it is discouraging to have to do it again. Where was you first cancer and how long has it been?

    Poirier:  it started with

    Poirier:  it started with Thyroid cancer- first noticed Feb 2012, was finally removed in 2 surgeries Jul & Sep 2012.

    March 2013- kidney tumor spotted on CT.  Had surgery Oct 15,2013

    Now 2014, third times the charm

     

    What province are you in? Im in BC and it's brutally slow having anything done.  Takes 2-3 months.  My latest thyroid recurrence has been a 4 month ordeal so far and it's going to be a few months yet until I have surgery :(

    Those first few weeks are very hard in your case.  Cancer at any time of life is terrifying.  i'm numb to it all now, that's how I cope.