Off topic....a tribute to my mom

Options
jen2012
jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member

Hi everyone.  I haven't been around much.  My mom spent her last three months in the hospital.  She passed about a Month ago.  My husband returned to work on June 30th, after a 9 month medical leave and my mom went in the hospital on July 1.

My mom is the poster child for not giving up..and not always believing statistics.  She was diagnosed with scleroderma almost 30 years ago, before she turned 40.  She was given months to live.  She went through several surgeries, hospital stays and ended up on dialysis.  All that time, she fought to live, found the joy in each day and good in all people.   unfortunately her last months were not the peaceful end she so deserved.  Even at the end, she refused to give up.  She endured painful surgeries trying to extend her life.  Sadly that wasn't to be, but we know she tried.  She was only 68, it's hard to believe she's gone.  I've talked to her almost every single day of my life.  She was the best mom and grandma there could be and my saddest thoughts are that my 3 yr old won't know her.

  One of her last requests was that she did not have a wake.  Instead we had a party for her, the night before her funeral.  We invited people to bring a dessert to share...her favorite food.  We ended up with a room full of people who loved my mom and had such wonderful things to say about her...and more dessert than you could imagine!  She would have loved it.  

If she could talk to all of you fighting your disease, she would say never give up, fight until you can't fight anymore, don't listen to Doctors statistics ...and enjoy your days, no matter how many there are.  

On a positive note, my husbands cea is still low .7, and his sept scan was clear!  

Comments

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
    Options
    I'm so very sorry. I don't

    I'm so very sorry. I don't know what else to say. I've lost several family members to cancer including my mom and I still don't have the words.

  • annalexandria
    annalexandria Member Posts: 2,571 Member
    Options
    That's a lovely tribute, Jen

    your mom was clearly an awesome person (who did a good job of raising an awesome daughter).  It's such a terrible loss.  

    Big hugs and hopes for peace~AA

  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member
    Options
    That is a wonderful

    That is a wonderful tribute.

    Great news about your husband. That made my day.

  • Momof2plusteentwins
    Momof2plusteentwins Member Posts: 509 Member
    Options
    Jen

    So sorry about your last few months.  I talk to my mom everyday and she is 84.  I am happy to hear about your husband, I know he had a rough time for a while.

    Sandy

  • Cathleen Mary
    Cathleen Mary Member Posts: 827 Member
    Options

    Jen

    So sorry about your last few months.  I talk to my mom everyday and she is 84.  I am happy to hear about your husband, I know he had a rough time for a while.

    Sandy

    Oh, Jen, I am so sorry about

    Oh, Jen, I am so sorry about your Mom.  Your words were lovely. Be assured of my prayers during this difficult time. Please be gentle with yourself. 

    That is very good news about your husband.

    You are pretty amazing!

    Hugs,

    CM

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,800 Member
    Options
    Mums are supposed to live forever

    I wish it were so, and my heart aches for you.

    Take care of your man, and take care of yourself. 

    Sue - Trubrit

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    Options
    Thank you all for your

    Thank you all for your kindness and support.

  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,459 Member
    Options
    You're mom just passed and

    You're mom just passed and you're here cheering everyone on, that's incredibly selfless.  Thanks for the reminder, I'm sure she was very proud of who you've become.  We should all live like she did, to the fullest.  I like the party idea.  I think about that and I always joke that I want to have my wake way before I die so I can hear all of the wonderful things people are going to say about me.  I hope you are managing and it's good to hear about your husband's clear scan, good news!

  • pilarica
    pilarica Member Posts: 44 Member
    Options
    So sorry for your loss,

    So sorry for your loss, remember that she will always live in your heart! I lost my dad to cancer 27 years ago I still think of him every day with a smile and love.

    My your higher power bring you and your family acceptance and peace

    xox

    Pilar

     

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    Options
    Helen321 said:

    You're mom just passed and

    You're mom just passed and you're here cheering everyone on, that's incredibly selfless.  Thanks for the reminder, I'm sure she was very proud of who you've become.  We should all live like she did, to the fullest.  I like the party idea.  I think about that and I always joke that I want to have my wake way before I die so I can hear all of the wonderful things people are going to say about me.  I hope you are managing and it's good to hear about your husband's clear scan, good news!

    Thanks Helen.  Kind of funny

    Thanks Helen.  Kind of funny you say that because after my husband had been out of work for some time, some friends approached with the idea of a dinner fundraiser.  We were a bit mortified by the idea, but after some convincing we agreed.   it was beautiful and amazing, and was sort of a living wake.  People stood and said nice things, the party was sold out and there was an ongoing wait list.  I like to think my mom was seeing and hearing the things said at her party.  

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    Options
    pilarica said:

    So sorry for your loss,

    So sorry for your loss, remember that she will always live in your heart! I lost my dad to cancer 27 years ago I still think of him every day with a smile and love.

    My your higher power bring you and your family acceptance and peace

    xox

    Pilar

     

    Thanks Pilar, you look too

    Thanks Pilar, you look too young to have lost your dad so many years ago.  You, and he must have been too young.   

  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    Options
    Jen

    First off, wonderful about your husband!  Second, I'm sorry about the loss of your mother, mine died (step-mom, but Mom to me) three years ago, and I still miss her, we just had a gatheringof brothers and sisters at her gravesite and that was it.  A party sounds wonderful and I'm sure your mother's spirit enjoyed it very much.  I like to think of her reunited with my father's spirit, he died 23 years ago at the age of 53, I'm 55 now so I've been lucky and surpassed his amount of time on this earth.

    My mother's spirit remains near me, and for that I am grateful, I think sometimes she puts in a word or two to the powers that be to keep me here enjoying life, I'm sure your Mom is doing the same.  You will always miss her, but I'm glad that when you think of her it isn't always tears of sadness but with joy, as it should be.  The sadness of her loss will remain always, but the joys of thinking of her life and times with you will also always remain and outweigh the sadness.

    Thinking of you,

    Winter Marie