Reflections

Ladylacy
Ladylacy Member Posts: 773 Member
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

Today my husband and I celebrate 52 years of marriage (we have been together since I was a junior in high school -- he is older than me and mother tried to talk me out of marrying him straight out of high school.  But you know back then that is what we did) and during this time we have been thru many trying times.  But by far the worse has been the last four years, when he was first diagnosed with laryngeal cancer (SCC).  I have watched a once very active man become almost bed bound and watched his struggles with the beast.  He has survived this beast longer than the doctors thought he would especially since being diagnosed with a second primary at the cervical of his esophagus and then after treatment a return at that spot and spread to his lungs.  He has been on in-home hospice for a year now and I doubt seriously that we will see our 53rd anniversary as he has been going downhill and more so in the last two months.  He used to love to go to Lowe's and Home Depot's for yard supplies, but doesn't anymore.  He doesn't drive his truck either, in fact, I would say he is home bound something I never thought I would see happen.  Our oldest son cuts the yard for him and Joe used to watch him and tell him what he was doing wrong, this has always been a big joke -- you know no one can do it as good as you can -- now he just sits in the house and sleeps.

This forum has provided me with a great amount of information, others stories that have led me to tears while reading them and happiness for all those that have survived this monster.  I have seen many come and go from this site during our fight with this beast.  And as far as my husband's second primary it is rare and the survival rates are very low.  Surgery was ruled out due to the fact that he had already been thru radiation, chemo and surgery for laryngeal cancer in the past year before the second primary was found and that was during a procedure for a TEP.  Then after more radiation and chemo he was NED for about 7 months when we found out that the second primary had reoccurred and spread to his right lung and he decided enough was enough and refused more treatment.  He said he would rather have quality over quantity.  I told our sons that this was his decision and his alone and not to talk him out of it.  While I wished he had tried more treatment, I told him and his doctors, I was just a long for the ride and that I would support him in every way I could.

Thanks for letting me ramble and I wish all on this forum, the best in the years to come -- Sharon

Comments

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #2
    Sharon, congrats to you and

    Sharon, congrats to you and your hubby.  i'm sorry this one will be spent with him sleeping.  wow, what a huge accomplishment, especially in today's world.  52 yrs, that's almost my age!  i'm truly sorry that your hubby is so sick.  i hope you guys can share a laugh, smile, and memory today to brighten your day.  keeping you both in my prayers.

    God bless you and again, congrats!!!

    dj

  • longtermsurvivor
    longtermsurvivor Member Posts: 1,842 Member
    #3
    Hi Sharon

    My best to both of you.

     

     

    Pat

  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #4
    Hi Sharon

    My wife caretaker and I just last week had our 40th anniversary. It was so wonderful because all our children and grandchildren were there for the both of us. My health in the last year has also been going down hill with infections that just will not stop coming back; I am still working because I can’t afford to retire. I must make sure my wife has a place to stay that the bank will not take away after I go to sleep. It is so very hard to put a smile on my face everyday but I know I must do it so everyone can think everything is ok. I just want to thank you because like my wife you have been there for us when we needed you the most. I know God sent a true blessing into my life 40 years ago and I know your husband feels the same about you.

     

    May God continue to watch and bless all caretakers like you?

    Tim Hondo   

  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,724 Member
    #5
    52 years

    Sharon,

    Well said.

    Bless both of you.

    Matt

  • wmc
    wmc Member Posts: 1,804
    #6
    Congratulations on 52 years of marriage....

    Congratulations on your 52 years. It is always great to see someone's love and commitment to each other that can last the test of time. When every day you wake up knowing you were right in your chose, and did fine your true life partner.

    I do understand his choice of quality, and your loving choice to suport him with his decision. May all your tomorrows be better than your todays.

    Bill

  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #7
    prayers

    Lifting prayers for you both,Sharon.

  • jim and i
    jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
    #8
    Congrats Sharon on 52 years

    52 years is great. I had 30 with Jim and I would not trade a single day of that time. I think of you often as I know how hard it is to watch your one true love suffer and fail. Know you are both in my thoughts and prayers.

    Blessings,

    Debbie

  • Jeff2159
    Jeff2159 Member Posts: 108
    #9
    Congrats on 52

    We will be half way there at 26 in October. While all of us battling the beast suffer physically and mentally, its you spouses and family who suffer in the backround. I know my wife is taking it much harder than I am. Worrying about me but I'm sure also about the future without me. I hope your children are their to support you during thsi time

    good luck

    Jeff

  • Ladylacy
    Ladylacy Member Posts: 773 Member
    #10
    Hondo said:

    Hi Sharon

    My wife caretaker and I just last week had our 40th anniversary. It was so wonderful because all our children and grandchildren were there for the both of us. My health in the last year has also been going down hill with infections that just will not stop coming back; I am still working because I can’t afford to retire. I must make sure my wife has a place to stay that the bank will not take away after I go to sleep. It is so very hard to put a smile on my face everyday but I know I must do it so everyone can think everything is ok. I just want to thank you because like my wife you have been there for us when we needed you the most. I know God sent a true blessing into my life 40 years ago and I know your husband feels the same about you.

     

    May God continue to watch and bless all caretakers like you?

    Tim Hondo   

    Hi Tim

    Congratulations to you and your wife 40 years is quite an accomplishment.  When we celebrated our 50th we had our 4 sons and their other halfs and quite a few of our many grandchildren and great-grandchildren to help.  This year was a quiet one for us.  Our oldest is the only one who lives close to us, the rest live out of state.

    Wishing you peace and comfort -- Sharon

     

     

  • donfoo
    donfoo Member Posts: 1,773 Member
    #11
    know you are blessed...

    Riding the ups and downs of life for 52 years is an amazing accomplishment. Very few people can say they have endured such a long and rich life together. I'm really sorry to hear about his declining health. Tough roads to choose ahead but be reassured the solid one is far better than one with doubts and second guesses. In the end all of this rests in God's hands. Take care, Don

  • josh r.
    josh r. Member Posts: 264 Member
    #12
    anniversary blessing

    We wish you both the comfort of each others love on your 52nd. josh r.

  • JC F
    JC F Member Posts: 74
    #13
    josh r. said:

    anniversary blessing

    We wish you both the comfort of each others love on your 52nd. josh r.

    Very...

    ...poignant and heartfelt. I wish you both the best.

Discussion Boards