Yet another lesion

Options
Anonymous7/6/2023
Anonymous7/6/2023 Member Posts: 176
edited July 2014 in Head and Neck Cancer #1

I've only just got through all my treatment, really, it finished mid-March. Then there was the lump in my neck. That came back "acellular".

This morning, I've found another damn lesion on the non-cancer side of my tongue. It looks exactly like how the tumour looked before the **** hit the fan last autumn. It feels the same too. Same sort of pain, different pain to mucositis. Different pain to oral thrush.

Half of me is frantic. And half of me is just too damn sick and tired and bored of all this cancer business and almost infinitely pissed off with the whole lot to even think about it.

I'm back at maxfax on 6th August. I haven't even bothered to email my nurse. Wont make any difference.

WHY CAN'T THIS CANCER JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

Comments

  • Goyca
    Goyca Member Posts: 220
    #2
    Options
    Estelle... It must be hard to

    Estelle... It must be hard to feel that u r going through the same **** again... Sry about my language but I'm mad for u too! butttt u can't be 100% sure unless u r tested. Right?! I don't know what maxfax is! But anyway please stay strong.

    please stay strong. We r here , we hate this ******* stupid cancer too. Whenever u need us we r here.

  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
    #3
    Options
    Goyca said:

    Estelle... It must be hard to

    Estelle... It must be hard to feel that u r going through the same **** again... Sry about my language but I'm mad for u too! butttt u can't be 100% sure unless u r tested. Right?! I don't know what maxfax is! But anyway please stay strong.

    please stay strong. We r here , we hate this ******* stupid cancer too. Whenever u need us we r here.

    Estelle

    I certainly hope that you do not have a recurrance but, if you do, you can get through it. My thinking has always been to "take it as it comes and deal with it".  I've been there 3 times so understand why you feel angry. It's not an easy road but we're here to help each other. Sorry you have to wait a week. Best wishes for a favorable outcome.

  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #4
    Options
    Hi Estelle

    I know what you mean but don’t give up or give in to it. My NPC I had to fight 3 times before it finial took a vacation, now it is fighting the side effects of the treatment, always something. But on the bright side I am 12 years passed the first treatment, I am still alive and I seen all my grandchildren come into the world; I am also a big part of their life. That had made everything I been through worth it. Keep fighting and never give up no matter what or how ugly it looks.

     

    Give it to God and leave it in His hands

    Tim Hondo

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #5
    Options
    Hold on tight....

    it ain't cancer till somebody says it is!!  I can't tell you how many recurrances I've had...ALL in my mind!  Any little lesion, any different "feeling", any thing I see above my shoulders brings on an instant "Oh My Gawd"!!!  In the few days you have before your appointment this new thing could disappear.....breathe deep and make a decision to give cancer thinking a break till you see the Dr.  (at which time, there may be nothing to show him).....

    Paranoia runs deep in cancer survivors.....there's no getting around the fact we've been touched by the beast once, so it's high on our thought list.....but the great majority of the time, it just ain't the case.

    p

  • Anonymous7/6/2023
    Anonymous7/6/2023 Member Posts: 176
    #6
    Options
    Thank you for your compassion

    Thank you my friends for your very caring, solid compassion. I wonder if you know how much it is helping, and what angels you are! I am very grateful. I've had such wonderful support and friendship online through this. There are some truly lovely people out there!

    (Maxfax is short for Maxillofacial. I've been lucky enough to get cancer in a country with good healthcare, and also the NHS - no matter how much we moan, we are lucky. My maxillofacial team are lovely - they have been wonderful through all of this, and I'm doubly lucky that my particular consultant is not only the Maxillofacial Clinical Director for the whole hospital, but has a "special interest" in oncology). And apart from anything else, he is truly kind and caring.

    Cancer is a violent, arbitarily brutal illness, but the people it has brought around me are, as I say, angels.

  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
    #7
    Options
    Estelle_H said:

    Thank you for your compassion

    Thank you my friends for your very caring, solid compassion. I wonder if you know how much it is helping, and what angels you are! I am very grateful. I've had such wonderful support and friendship online through this. There are some truly lovely people out there!

    (Maxfax is short for Maxillofacial. I've been lucky enough to get cancer in a country with good healthcare, and also the NHS - no matter how much we moan, we are lucky. My maxillofacial team are lovely - they have been wonderful through all of this, and I'm doubly lucky that my particular consultant is not only the Maxillofacial Clinical Director for the whole hospital, but has a "special interest" in oncology). And apart from anything else, he is truly kind and caring.

    Cancer is a violent, arbitarily brutal illness, but the people it has brought around me are, as I say, angels.

    Estelle

    You are welcome. I am sorry we all have to be in this together but it's so much better than being in it alone. "Paying it forward" is rewarding. There are some things that only those that have traveled the road before us can relate to. 

    Hugs across the pond!

    Candi

  • Guzzle
    Guzzle Member Posts: 710
    #8
    Options
    hwt said:

    Estelle

    You are welcome. I am sorry we all have to be in this together but it's so much better than being in it alone. "Paying it forward" is rewarding. There are some things that only those that have traveled the road before us can relate to. 

    Hugs across the pond!

    Candi

    Sorry

    Estelle, Sorry to hear this mate - hope its somethibng and nothing, Gary

  • patricke
    patricke Member Posts: 570
    #9
    Options
    HANG IN THERE

    Hey Estelle,

    I am sorry that another lesion has appeared, along with the familiar pain from the past.  I too hope that you are not experiencing another beast attack, but just having the same symptoms, I know, is like getting punched in the gutt.  As I am want to say, take it one day at a time, hang in there, and do what needs to be done, because being here is the most important thing.  The foregoing being said, yeah, I sure as heck would be pissed off to the extreme too.  It's time to sit back for awhile, take some slow deep breaths, gather your strength, then get up and hit the ground running the warrior run.

    PATRICK

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #10
    Options
    Estelle, we all understand

    Estelle, we all understand your anger and discust.  we feel it for you also.  it is always scary when something new pops up.  please try not to let the bad thots run away with you.  it could be something other than cancer.  i, like, Candi and several others, also had a recurrence and like you, we wonder, "why can't this damn cancer just leave us alone".  bottom line, is we did and/or are getting thru it and if you have to, you will to.  I'm praying real hard for you that it is NOT cancer and that you won't spend the next week being a nervous wreck.  i know that will be hard, but i'm going to pray for it anyway.  please let us know what you find out.  we will all be here for you if you need us and we will be here to celebrate if/when you get good news!

    God bless you,

    dj

Discussion Boards