Mother said to only have a few weeks to live, think she has stage IV

Tristag

Hi, I am a 18 year old kid and my mom has been given a few weeks to live.  At least that is what my family says.  My dad reminds me that she probably will only live a few more week and then says maybe she could live a few more years.  However, she has done her will and has chosen to be cremated and I guess I feel like the few weeks is set in stone  

I really have no idea how to feel about this, I try to ignore it but I know that isn't the thing to do.  I strangly feel in shock and that she will survive (I am religious and have faith that she will survive, also she told me she thinks she will be ok) I don't know if that is a good or bad thing but... for now it is what it is.

She will be coming home later today, I guess to live the rest of her life out at home?  Sorry I don't have a lot of details, my dad has done most of these things.  I'm honestly not even sure if it is Stage IV, I'm deathly afraid to ask but from what I've made out that seems to be what it is.  She first had an operation, then had chemo both of which were supposed to work and now she is doing radiation.  I heard that the cancer spread to a lymphnode and that is why it is so hard to get rid of.  

Has anyone lived passed their date?  It would be really nice if she could be around for me and my sister to graduate but the way everyone is talking it seems she won't  We are trying a bunch of other things besides the radiation... home remedies I guess?  Anyways, I plan on spending as much time with her as possible no matter what.  I would just like to know if anyone felt like they would surive and they did or vice versa... I almost want the harsh truth at this point, however I know it is hard and Drs do know what they are doing.

Thanks!  Apologize for the very disorganized writing, I'm kinda nervous and I've never been the best writer anyways. 

 

 

Hybridspirits

Your mom

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom.  It is hard to answer your question without a bit more understanding.  I am guessing she has uterine cancer,  had a hysterctomy, and has had her chemo and now is going to have external or possibly interenal radiation.  You mentioned it went to her lymph nodes, was this discovered from surgery and so it is a local lymph node?  I do know there are a lot of ladies on this board doing very well with stage 3 - lymph node involvement and stage 4.  I am sure they will all start to share their positive stories. 

Having cancer and taking care of someone with cancer is very scary as some doctors talk in terms of numbers and percent of survival.  But in the end that is historical and we are all a statistic of one.   I have learned the power of positive thinking and to focus not on the statistic that didn't survive but the statistic that did as that is the one i want to be part of.

I am sending you lot's of comfort and prayers for you and your family during this most stressful time

keep the faith as i also do believe that has a big part of it

 

 

 

Judemo

Hybridspirits said:

Your mom

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom.  It is hard to answer your question without a bit more understanding.  I am guessing she has uterine cancer,  had a hysterctomy, and has had her chemo and now is going to have external or possibly interenal radiation.  You mentioned it went to her lymph nodes, was this discovered from surgery and so it is a local lymph node?  I do know there are a lot of ladies on this board doing very well with stage 3 - lymph node involvement and stage 4.  I am sure they will all start to share their positive stories. 

Having cancer and taking care of someone with cancer is very scary as some doctors talk in terms of numbers and percent of survival.  But in the end that is historical and we are all a statistic of one.   I have learned the power of positive thinking and to focus not on the statistic that didn't survive but the statistic that did as that is the one i want to be part of.

I am sending you lot's of comfort and prayers for you and your family during this most stressful time

keep the faith as i also do believe that has a big part of it

 

 

 

Tristag, my heart goes out to you

Honey, all of us here on this discussion board have you & your mom in our hearts & prayers. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom.  I'm new to this cancer stuff so I don't have advice, but I do have a heart to listen to what your going through.  Please keep us informed of how you & your mom are doing.  Eventually you'll probably hear from the other wonderful women who are going through what your mom is dealing with.  DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE OK?!  You find people you trust and talk to them ok? We are here to listen.  Please hang in there and give your mom a hug from all of us here on this website. & I'm sending YOU a hug too! 

jude

NoTimeForCancer

Sweetie, whatever  you are

Sweetie, whatever  you are feeling is ok!  All over the place, nervous, scared?  Completely understandable.  There are women on this board in all different stages and I think your plan to spend as much time with your mother as possible is great.  There is nothing like having your family with you, even if it is sitting with them, it is beneficial to both parties. 

If you have a chance to find out more details come on back and ask us anything.  Chemo and radiation is not uncommon treatments for cancer, so it makes sense.  It is probably overwhelming for your dad as well so hang in there. 

<<hugs>>

Tristag

NoTimeForCancer said:

Sweetie, whatever  you are

Sweetie, whatever  you are feeling is ok!  All over the place, nervous, scared?  Completely understandable.  There are women on this board in all different stages and I think your plan to spend as much time with your mother as possible is great.  There is nothing like having your family with you, even if it is sitting with them, it is beneficial to both parties. 

If you have a chance to find out more details come on back and ask us anything.  Chemo and radiation is not uncommon treatments for cancer, so it makes sense.  It is probably overwhelming for your dad as well so hang in there. 

<<hugs>>

Thank you for the reassurence

Thank you for the reassurence  

I have tried to organize the information I know in an above post.

About spending time, today was her first day back and it was so painful, I just wanted to come back to my room and try to forget about it... I hated seeing her like that but there wasn't much I could do.  I will try to spend as much time with her as I can though, I don't want this to be such a bad thing.  Thank you again.

Tristag

Judemo said:

Tristag, my heart goes out to you

Honey, all of us here on this discussion board have you & your mom in our hearts & prayers. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom.  I'm new to this cancer stuff so I don't have advice, but I do have a heart to listen to what your going through.  Please keep us informed of how you & your mom are doing.  Eventually you'll probably hear from the other wonderful women who are going through what your mom is dealing with.  DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE OK?!  You find people you trust and talk to them ok? We are here to listen.  Please hang in there and give your mom a hug from all of us here on this website. & I'm sending YOU a hug too! 

jude

Thank you
I do have hope, I

Thank you

I do have hope, I don't know why but I just do and I guess its better than feeling hopeless haha.  I will try to spend as much time with her as I can.  Thanks again! (I have organized the info better in another reply)

Tristag

Hybridspirits said:

Your mom

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom.  It is hard to answer your question without a bit more understanding.  I am guessing she has uterine cancer,  had a hysterctomy, and has had her chemo and now is going to have external or possibly interenal radiation.  You mentioned it went to her lymph nodes, was this discovered from surgery and so it is a local lymph node?  I do know there are a lot of ladies on this board doing very well with stage 3 - lymph node involvement and stage 4.  I am sure they will all start to share their positive stories. 

Having cancer and taking care of someone with cancer is very scary as some doctors talk in terms of numbers and percent of survival.  But in the end that is historical and we are all a statistic of one.   I have learned the power of positive thinking and to focus not on the statistic that didn't survive but the statistic that did as that is the one i want to be part of.

I am sending you lot's of comfort and prayers for you and your family during this most stressful time

keep the faith as i also do believe that has a big part of it

 

 

 

Thank you

Sorry for the lack of information.  It is complicated, my parents I think "forget" to tell me things sometimes to make me feel better but here is what I know in a more organized list:

Things I put in quotes are what my parents said to me and I don't know the... validity behind them.

> She goes to the doctor for bleeding
> Doctor says she has cancer but they can do a hysterectomy and remove it
> Surgery goes fine except they couldn't remove "a small bit of it"
> She goes through I think... 4 or 5 months of chemo
> After chemo she says her "blood count was good", something about being normal and means cancer is going away.
> A few days later tells me that we are going to do radiation to just make absolutly sure that it is gone.
> I go away on a small vacation and hear that my mom is in the hospital for a blood clot.
> I am assured that while scary and etc. she will be fine.
> When I return from vacation my father tells me that the reason for radiation is just to try to extend her life and that she only has a certain amount to live.
> I ask into it more about why, in this day and age surgery can't remove it.  He says it has spread to a lymphnode.  And thats as much as I was told.
> She returns from the hospital for a week or two and then suffers another blood clot while at the hospital doing her radiation.
> She is put in the hospital for a week or two where she suffers from other things like a fever, chills, nausea etc.
> She is discharged and home now

(apparently they are not doing radiation which makes me sad and makes me feel like they have given up hope )

 

Thank you again for the kind words, it really helps

It happened to Me

Tristag said:

Thank you for the reassurence

Thank you for the reassurence  

I have tried to organize the information I know in an above post.

About spending time, today was her first day back and it was so painful, I just wanted to come back to my room and try to forget about it... I hated seeing her like that but there wasn't much I could do.  I will try to spend as much time with her as I can though, I don't want this to be such a bad thing.  Thank you again.

Tristag, my heart is hurting for you

I can't even imagine what you are feeling.  I am 52 and had a rare form of uterine cancer.  Totally unsuspected cancer.  You said that you have faith.  Faith will get you through.  I pray your mom has faith as well.  I had Stage III.    My thought is to talk to your mom.  Cry if it will help.  Pray before you do asking the Lord to help you with the words.  No one knows when we will die.  Only God.  If you mom likes to sing, then sing for or with her, if she is a reader, then read her favorite stories, things like that will make memories.  This can be a very, very special time for you and her.  Yes, it will be hard, but you will grow and are growing from this experience.  You said that you had a feeling that she will be ok.  You hold on to that and keep talking like that.  There is always HOPE.  This group, there are many praying women who will be praying for your mom and for you and your family.  Be silly with your mom if that will help you cope.  Laughter is really good medicine.  Maybe you guys can watch videos together, your favorites.    I have made my cancer fun.  I had people who were doom and gloom and really upset.  Once I told them that I was going to get spayed, it broke the ice.  Then, they treated me like normal and I made fun of my bald head and no eye brows and laughed and took pictures.  All that to help me and other cope.  You will be stronger than you think you can be.   I just have that gut feeling.  Like the others said, keep us posted.  We are all good listeners.  there are some very smart women on this board.  Take care Tristag.

Jeanette

Tristag

It happened to Me said:

Tristag, my heart is hurting for you

I can't even imagine what you are feeling.  I am 52 and had a rare form of uterine cancer.  Totally unsuspected cancer.  You said that you have faith.  Faith will get you through.  I pray your mom has faith as well.  I had Stage III.    My thought is to talk to your mom.  Cry if it will help.  Pray before you do asking the Lord to help you with the words.  No one knows when we will die.  Only God.  If you mom likes to sing, then sing for or with her, if she is a reader, then read her favorite stories, things like that will make memories.  This can be a very, very special time for you and her.  Yes, it will be hard, but you will grow and are growing from this experience.  You said that you had a feeling that she will be ok.  You hold on to that and keep talking like that.  There is always HOPE.  This group, there are many praying women who will be praying for your mom and for you and your family.  Be silly with your mom if that will help you cope.  Laughter is really good medicine.  Maybe you guys can watch videos together, your favorites.    I have made my cancer fun.  I had people who were doom and gloom and really upset.  Once I told them that I was going to get spayed, it broke the ice.  Then, they treated me like normal and I made fun of my bald head and no eye brows and laughed and took pictures.  All that to help me and other cope.  You will be stronger than you think you can be.   I just have that gut feeling.  Like the others said, keep us posted.  We are all good listeners.  there are some very smart women on this board.  Take care Tristag.

Jeanette

Thank you
I will try to spend

Thank you

I will try to spend as much time as I can, unfortunatly she is spending more time asleep so I think this may be it... My dad just came and told me maybe a week or days he doesn't know.  I feel so horrible right now.  I am still in shock though.

Ro10

Tristag said:

Thank you
I will try to spend

Thank you

I will try to spend as much time as I can, unfortunatly she is spending more time asleep so I think this may be it... My dad just came and told me maybe a week or days he doesn't know.  I feel so horrible right now.  I am still in shock though.

Tristag

I feel so bad for you.  I pray for peace and comfort for your Mom and your family.  I wonder if you have hospice involved.  They can be a great support to keep your Mom comfortable and help the family go through the grieving process;  Talk to your Mom even if you are not sure she can hear you.  Talk to her about all of your good memories with her.  In peace and caring.

Tristag

Ro10 said:

Tristag

I feel so bad for you.  I pray for peace and comfort for your Mom and your family.  I wonder if you have hospice involved.  They can be a great support to keep your Mom comfortable and help the family go through the grieving process;  Talk to your Mom even if you are not sure she can hear you.  Talk to her about all of your good memories with her.  In peace and caring.

Thank you
We do have a

Thank you

We do have a hospice but so far they have just done the other stuff, no grieving things yet.  My mom was more awake and alert later in the night.  We all talked to her then

NoTimeForCancer

Tristag said:

Thank you
I will try to spend

Thank you

I will try to spend as much time as I can, unfortunatly she is spending more time asleep so I think this may be it... My dad just came and told me maybe a week or days he doesn't know.  I feel so horrible right now.  I am still in shock though.

Tristag, I am so sorry to

Tristag, I am so sorry to hear this.  Even though your mother may be asleep, I agree with Ro, talk to her, share your good memories and everything else.  Even if you don't think she can hear you she will not be alone.  What a wonderful, caring daughter you are and you, your mother, and entire family are in my prayers.

Tristag

NoTimeForCancer said:

Tristag, I am so sorry to

Tristag, I am so sorry to hear this.  Even though your mother may be asleep, I agree with Ro, talk to her, share your good memories and everything else.  Even if you don't think she can hear you she will not be alone.  What a wonderful, caring daughter you are and you, your mother, and entire family are in my prayers.

Yea, she wakes up about 3-4

Yea, she wakes up about 3-4 times a day and when she does we try to talk as much as we can.  She is eating a bit more and seems to sometimes be getting better but I feel that those are just temporary  Anyways Thank you for the support!  (oh and I am a boy haha)

It happened to Me

Tristag said:

Yea, she wakes up about 3-4

Yea, she wakes up about 3-4 times a day and when she does we try to talk as much as we can.  She is eating a bit more and seems to sometimes be getting better but I feel that those are just temporary  Anyways Thank you for the support!  (oh and I am a boy haha)

Tristag

You are an amazing young man.  You took the time to find a site where you could try to find answers.  Then, you reached out to us.  You've responded to us and have included us in your life.   I'm so happy that you have been able to talk to her as much as possible.  You have a compassionate heart and we all can tell how much you love your mom.  She is so blessed to have a son like you.   I hope you and your dad are talking to each other and comforting each other.  You keep your chin up Tristag.  I will be praying for you and your family.  

NoTimeForCancer

Tristag said:

Yea, she wakes up about 3-4

Yea, she wakes up about 3-4 times a day and when she does we try to talk as much as we can.  She is eating a bit more and seems to sometimes be getting better but I feel that those are just temporary  Anyways Thank you for the support!  (oh and I am a boy haha)

Thanks for reminding me never

Thanks for reminding me never "ASSUME"

 

Judemo

NoTimeForCancer said:

Thanks for reminding me never

Thanks for reminding me never "ASSUME"

 

Tristag, how are you & your mom

Just checking in on you.....

It happened to Me

Judemo said:

Tristag, how are you & your mom

Just checking in on you.....

Wondering the same thing

Tristag, Was wondering the same things.  Just checking on you and your family.  Know that you are being prayed for.

Tristag

It happened to Me said:

Tristag

You are an amazing young man.  You took the time to find a site where you could try to find answers.  Then, you reached out to us.  You've responded to us and have included us in your life.   I'm so happy that you have been able to talk to her as much as possible.  You have a compassionate heart and we all can tell how much you love your mom.  She is so blessed to have a son like you.   I hope you and your dad are talking to each other and comforting each other.  You keep your chin up Tristag.  I will be praying for you and your family.  

Thank you for the kind words

Thank you for the kind words and yes.  I have been talking to her as much as possible.  She seems to be getting a little foggy, drifiting in and out but if we need her we can "wake her up".  Otherwise I am trying to help as best I can.  I think I will ask one of the hospice consilours for help later.  Thank you again!

Tristag

NoTimeForCancer said:

Thanks for reminding me never

Thanks for reminding me never "ASSUME"

 

Haha it is quite alright, it

Haha it is quite alright, it hardly changes anything.

Tristag

Judemo said:

Tristag, how are you & your mom

Just checking in on you.....

I guess you could say I'm

I guess you could say I'm doing good considering the situation.  She is getting a little fuzzy with the way she talks and thinks but if we sorta snap her out of it she seems better.  Thanks again for checking in!

Tristag

It happened to Me said:

Wondering the same thing

Tristag, Was wondering the same things.  Just checking on you and your family.  Know that you are being prayed for.

Thank you, that helps (: to

Thank you, that helps (: to avoid clutter I put some more info in another reply, thank you again though!