Mum just diagnosed

princess14

Hi everyone, 

My names kc Im from queensland australia! Happy to have found an amazing support group I have been ligering in the background for the last week just reading all the old posts and decided after mums onc app today to finally sign up and introduce myself!  

After a magnitude of tests my 64yo mum has just been diagnosed with anal cancer last tuesday, its taken since the end of may to finally get some answers she will be begining treatment within the next 2 weeks! 

Her diagnosis is poorly defrenciated scc stage t3n3m0. Her only symptom was an enlarged inguinal node and some weightloss which was attributed to stress (my marriage broke down with hubby walking out on myself and 2 children leaving us homeless) no other symptoms.

Would love to hear from others with any advise ect you may have to make treatment a lil easier on her, symptom relief ect!

Sorry for the long post 

 

mp327

princess14

Hi and welcome--and do not apologize for your "long" post.  Trust me, it's short compared to some on here.  I'm sorry for your mom's diagnosis.  I'm glad you've been checking out this site and reading up on what others have gone through with this disease.  I'm sure you are both anxious about what lies ahead for her, with good reason.  However, there are many stage 3 survivors and I hope that your mom's treatment will be successful so she can join the ranks alongside those others. 

If I were to offer any advice up front, it would be for your mom to stay very well hydrated.  Dehydration can be very serious and lands some people in the hospital, necessitating a break from treatment.  So make sure she gets plenty of good old H2O.  I had a rule of thumb, especially when my diarrhea kicked in in earnest--for every trip to the bathroom, I drank 8 oz. of water.  I'm sure even at that, I was still dehydrated, but not enough to be admitted to the hospital. 

I would also advise her to eat lots of protein--some source with every meal or snack.  It promotes healing.

Mouth sores can be common with this treatment, so routine swishing with a mix of baking soda or salt with water can help ward off the little buggers. 

Fatigue may be an issue, so if her body tells her she needs to rest, she needs to do just that.  Getting assitance with meals, housekeeping, etc. will allow her to just rest her body.

If she reaches the point where pain meds are needed, I hope she will do better with that than I did.  I did not take nearly enough pain medication, due to the fact that I was driving myself to treatment most days and could not risk being under the influence, if you will.  I would do that all differently now, getting someone to drive me so that I could take adequate pain meds.  I hope your mom will have a driver, at least when she reaches the point of needing the drugs for pain.  I am gathering from your post that you live near her?--I hope so.  You sound like a very caring daughter who will take care of her needs.  Being a caregiver can be rough, so be sure to take care of yourself as well.

I wish your mom all the best and hope you'll keep us posted on how she's doing.  I hope she will use the time between now and the beginning of treatment to get herself prepared and to also enjoy a little pampering before things get going.  I will keep the both of you in my thoughts and prayers.

Martha

princess14

mp327 said:

princess14

Hi and welcome--and do not apologize for your "long" post.  Trust me, it's short compared to some on here.  I'm sorry for your mom's diagnosis.  I'm glad you've been checking out this site and reading up on what others have gone through with this disease.  I'm sure you are both anxious about what lies ahead for her, with good reason.  However, there are many stage 3 survivors and I hope that your mom's treatment will be successful so she can join the ranks alongside those others. 

If I were to offer any advice up front, it would be for your mom to stay very well hydrated.  Dehydration can be very serious and lands some people in the hospital, necessitating a break from treatment.  So make sure she gets plenty of good old H2O.  I had a rule of thumb, especially when my diarrhea kicked in in earnest--for every trip to the bathroom, I drank 8 oz. of water.  I'm sure even at that, I was still dehydrated, but not enough to be admitted to the hospital. 

I would also advise her to eat lots of protein--some source with every meal or snack.  It promotes healing.

Mouth sores can be common with this treatment, so routine swishing with a mix of baking soda or salt with water can help ward off the little buggers. 

Fatigue may be an issue, so if her body tells her she needs to rest, she needs to do just that.  Getting assitance with meals, housekeeping, etc. will allow her to just rest her body.

If she reaches the point where pain meds are needed, I hope she will do better with that than I did.  I did not take nearly enough pain medication, due to the fact that I was driving myself to treatment most days and could not risk being under the influence, if you will.  I would do that all differently now, getting someone to drive me so that I could take adequate pain meds.  I hope your mom will have a driver, at least when she reaches the point of needing the drugs for pain.  I am gathering from your post that you live near her?--I hope so.  You sound like a very caring daughter who will take care of her needs.  Being a caregiver can be rough, so be sure to take care of yourself as well.

I wish your mom all the best and hope you'll keep us posted on how she's doing.  I hope she will use the time between now and the beginning of treatment to get herself prepared and to also enjoy a little pampering before things get going.  I will keep the both of you in my thoughts and prayers.

Martha

Hi Martha,
Thank you for your

Hi Martha,

Thank you for your reply and for the advise it is greatly appreciated. Mum has never been a big drinker til she had a reaction to a medication a couple of months ago now her mouth and throat are constantly dry so she carries a water bottle everywhere and is drinking more and more everyday. 

I will be driving her to all apppintments ect so will definitely make sure she stays on top of the pain. Her nurse coordinator talked about the high protein yesterday afternoon I will be making her some meals to freeze so she wont have to worry about cooking and they will be easy for when she is not feeling the greatest.

I try and look after myself the best I can which can be a little difficult at times due to having 2 children both with asd and a daughter with an immune deficiency. But the way I see it is I have the rest of my life to spoil myself and take time out for now my mum and my children remain my first and foremost priority. My mum has been quiet anxious throughout the diagnosis stage but this was highlighted due to the fact my aunt her sister has terminal breast cancer and a lot of mistakes were made early on, so everyone has been on edge wanting to make sure it doesnt happen with mum. So far things have moved relatively quickly considering we are under the public health system.

She is feeling a lot better within herself now we know what she is dealing with, and is ready to fight it with everything she has.

I hope you are doing well, have you finished treatment now?

Kc

 

eihtak

princess14....

Welcome, I'm glad you have found us yet sorry for the need.  As your mum gets started with treatment I'm sure questions will arise so ask away.....nothing is off limits and someone will have some advice.  If its any comfort for either of you, I was diagnosed at stage 3b with lymph node involvement a little over 3yrs ago.  I am now 55yrs old, healthy, active, and deal only with some minor but manageable lasting side effects. 

Martha covered all the basics well, but please keep in touch to let us know how things are going for you all and with any new concerns.

Be well.

Katheryn

mp327

princess14 said:

Hi Martha,
Thank you for your

Hi Martha,

Thank you for your reply and for the advise it is greatly appreciated. Mum has never been a big drinker til she had a reaction to a medication a couple of months ago now her mouth and throat are constantly dry so she carries a water bottle everywhere and is drinking more and more everyday. 

I will be driving her to all apppintments ect so will definitely make sure she stays on top of the pain. Her nurse coordinator talked about the high protein yesterday afternoon I will be making her some meals to freeze so she wont have to worry about cooking and they will be easy for when she is not feeling the greatest.

I try and look after myself the best I can which can be a little difficult at times due to having 2 children both with asd and a daughter with an immune deficiency. But the way I see it is I have the rest of my life to spoil myself and take time out for now my mum and my children remain my first and foremost priority. My mum has been quiet anxious throughout the diagnosis stage but this was highlighted due to the fact my aunt her sister has terminal breast cancer and a lot of mistakes were made early on, so everyone has been on edge wanting to make sure it doesnt happen with mum. So far things have moved relatively quickly considering we are under the public health system.

She is feeling a lot better within herself now we know what she is dealing with, and is ready to fight it with everything she has.

I hope you are doing well, have you finished treatment now?

Kc

 

princess14

You asked me if I am finished with treatment and I realized that I did not mention how far out from treatment I am in my previous post.  I am almost 6 YEARS out!  I may be the "old timer" on here.  I am doing very well, so don't worry about me! 

I wish your mom all the very best and hope you'll let us support both her and you through her journey.

Martha

jcruz

princess14 said:

Hi Martha,
Thank you for your

Hi Martha,

Thank you for your reply and for the advise it is greatly appreciated. Mum has never been a big drinker til she had a reaction to a medication a couple of months ago now her mouth and throat are constantly dry so she carries a water bottle everywhere and is drinking more and more everyday. 

I will be driving her to all apppintments ect so will definitely make sure she stays on top of the pain. Her nurse coordinator talked about the high protein yesterday afternoon I will be making her some meals to freeze so she wont have to worry about cooking and they will be easy for when she is not feeling the greatest.

I try and look after myself the best I can which can be a little difficult at times due to having 2 children both with asd and a daughter with an immune deficiency. But the way I see it is I have the rest of my life to spoil myself and take time out for now my mum and my children remain my first and foremost priority. My mum has been quiet anxious throughout the diagnosis stage but this was highlighted due to the fact my aunt her sister has terminal breast cancer and a lot of mistakes were made early on, so everyone has been on edge wanting to make sure it doesnt happen with mum. So far things have moved relatively quickly considering we are under the public health system.

She is feeling a lot better within herself now we know what she is dealing with, and is ready to fight it with everything she has.

I hope you are doing well, have you finished treatment now?

Kc

 

I'm glad to hear your mom is

I'm glad to hear your mom is feeling better within herself.  I think it does help so much to know what's wrong and then start taking the steps towards treatment.  I was so glad when the first day of my treatment finally came.  You mention that your mom was not until recently a big water drinker and that she's now carrying around a water bottle.  I was a big-time water consumer but found I just could not hydrate myself well enough so I went in to the infusion center several times a week for IV hydation.  Just keep in mind that she may need it.  The hydration was most important but I also found it was a nice place to rest for 1 or 2 hours, in a reclining chair with warm blankets and snacks served up the most amazing nurses.  It's good that you're getting meals ready too.  I made myself a protein smoothie every day with greek yogurt, whey protein, and frozen fruit.  As I began to lose my appetite this was so important for me to do.

Keep letting us know how things are going.

Janet

lp1964

Dear Friend,

All  of you are going through a dificult time now. It's not gonna be easy, but many of us went trough it and it's very much doable. After the many good practical advises above I'd like to share what helped me through. Cancer is a very overwhelming disease, it feels like a death sentence at the beginning. But if you think about it your mom is still the same person with all her beauty, wisdom, skills and kindness. She just happens to have cancer. Her cancer is managable even treatable. (read some of the unfortunate stories of liver cancer and you will feel lucky).

I recomment your mom to get on this forum herself. Owning and sharing her problem is a very important part of her treatment. Just as important as believing in her doctors, nurses and medicine.

 I wish you guys the strenght to get through this.

Laz 

  

nicotianna

Princess14

Hi - I am IIIbAC.  Read My Space.  I thought I was ok but a PET/CT scan in June showed a nodule in my lung.  It was present in a March scan but not noted on the report.  In June it lit up.  A repeat PET/CT will be done next wk & then a plan will be determined. If any new nodules appear I will get chemo.  If nothing new has developed I will have sugery.....VATS (video-assisted thoracotomy) w/segmentectomy.  Martha's suggestions were all very good.  I might add that I had changes in taste.  I was unable to eat the food people brought me.  I was very sensitive to smells.  I did not know what to eat & it was easier not to eat.  Everyone seems to have a different experience.  The XRT did a number on my gi tract.  A hand-held shower was a god send.   Best wishes to you & your Mum.

qv62

princess14

I am sorry to hear the diagnosis of your mum, I am a 51 year old mom who just finished treatment a few weeks ago. It sounds like you have your hands full with other situations and my advice to you would be to take anyone who offers help with rides, cooking, shopping etc... up on it so that you do not burn out. You are needed right now by both your mum and your kids and if you burn out you will not be of much help to anyone. People offering their help  really want to help, please keep in mind this is a long journey and even if you feel like you can do it all you can't do it alone. I wish you all the best.