Raising a child post treatment NPC

bee_bee
bee_bee Member Posts: 2
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

Hi, 

Wondering if anyone has had a child after head and neck cancer, and how they are managing to deal with all of the long term side effects. I am totally blessed to have this amazing kid who will turn five this year, but constantly feeling like I'm fighting an uphill battle just to keep up with everything. Dry mouth, swallowing difficulty, speech changes, severe hearing loss. Sometimes it's unreal when I think about it and it kills me to think how I can't be there for him in ways that other parents can. Looking for words of wisdom- or commiseration :) 10 years cancer free is pretty good though. Wishing everyone the best! 

Comments

  • wmc
    wmc Member Posts: 1,804
    #2
    Not sure what to say but...

    Not sure what to say, but that your child will understand more than you think he does and knows what you go through. They can see the love you have for him, and that will always mean more than words do. There will be days you have that are bad days and your son will see and live those with you as well, and he will be a stronger person growing up because he see's his mother fight every day to beat cancer so she can be there for him. That is true unconditional love, and you both will be better for it in the long run. As your son gets older he will see and understand more and more, and grow up to be understanding to ones with illness and a better human been for this. 

    I had to tell my grandchildren that I was sick and had to go have surgery but I would be ok, just not the same anymore. They were 3 and 4 years old and I had to explain when I came back I would have a hole in my neck to breath through and never sound the same again. I would have to talk with a EL [electricLarnyx] and sound like a robot. I was afraid I would scare them looking like that with a hole in my neck. They understood I was going to be cut from ear to ear, [ as the youngest one said, with a sharp knife] and I said I sure hope so. Then the question was when will the hole go away? I had to tell them, never, I need it to breath. They understand there are some things I can no longer do with them, but my love is always there for them, as yours is for your son. You just take one day at a time and do the best you can and your son will know how much you loved him and chose to have him after beating cancer. So many persons might not have done that and that makes you even more special to him. Be proud, he will be proud of you his whole life. Well say some prayers for you both so you can handle anything that you have.

     

    wmc

  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #3
    Hi Bee

    I too am NPC and I am now 10 years as well from last treatment as well. I live with a lot of side effects but I had treatment twice so my side effects are more serve then someone with taking radiation only once. I am still working as a Church Elder and I still work full time for a Diving Company doing maintenance, and I still enjoy time with my grandchildren and working in my shop. I don’t worry about the future or the passed all of that is in Gods hand, I just thank Him for one day at a time.

     Welcome to CSN H&N hope you plan to stay

    Tim Hondo

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