Here we go again! Stupid OVCA!! I HATE this disease!!

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mom2greatkids
mom2greatkids Member Posts: 528
in Ovarian Cancer #1

Hi Ladies,

I do not know what I would do without the support these boards offer.  I have a "lump" about 1 centerimeter in my neck.  (left side).  I will have CT of neck, chest, and abdomen next Tuesday (10th).  The dr. said he doesn't know for sure what this is.  He just doesn't want to wait.  Also, I have lost 4 lbs. in 9 days.  My appetite is good.  I have greatly reduced the amount of "emotional binging" I was doing.  Also, I'm eating more fiber.  Those bowels are working well. I am not sick nor do I have diarrhea.  

I am just SO scared.  How do I keep from being so scared.  He said worst possible scenario at this point is that we try something else.  I have had carbo/taxol/avastin, cistplatin/taxol, doxil (kept me stable for ten months), topotecan and now gemzar.  Previously he had said that we had one more to try after Gemzar.  However, this morning he said that he wasn't sure about that.  In August I will be on medicare disability.  I can at that time be referred for clinical trials if necessary.  He said it's possible I would qualify for one of those.

I do not have any pain.  My quality of life overall very good.  

It's just hard to understand how we can have something so life-threatening in us when we feel and do so well.  

Thanks Ladies.

I hiope all of you are having a great summer.  Oh, by the way,  June 28-July 5 my sister and I are going out west to Calif., Oregon, and Washington.  We've never been out west before.  My dr. was very glad that we were going.  He said it was an important trip. 

 

Carla

Comments

  • seatown
    seatown Member Posts: 261 Member
    #2
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    Try not to worry--yet.

    Hope you'll have news similar to mine a few weeks ago: 1 doc said I had "worrying" spots on vertebrae; after a bone scan, 2 more docs said, "Hey, no, everything's fine, those are just bone spurs." But I surely know how scary it is to await results.

    Enjoy your trip! Safe & happy travels.

    Carole

     

     

  • kimberly sue 63
    kimberly sue 63 Member Posts: 421 Member
    #3
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    Carla, try to keep your self

    Carla, try to keep your self distracted. Keep your mind busy, so it doesn't have timemto wander into worrying thoughts. Lets hope for the best news. I think a clinical trial would be a good Idea too. Hang in there, and i am sending good thoughts your way. Kim

  • lovesanimals
    lovesanimals Member Posts: 1,366 Member
    #4
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    kimberly sue 63 said:

    Carla, try to keep your self

    Carla, try to keep your self distracted. Keep your mind busy, so it doesn't have timemto wander into worrying thoughts. Lets hope for the best news. I think a clinical trial would be a good Idea too. Hang in there, and i am sending good thoughts your way. Kim

    Dear Carla

    A very supportive woman on this board once said, "It's not always about cancer".  I know how scared and anxious you must be feeling but it's possible that the lump has nothing to do with cancer.  I'm sending you lots of positive thoughts and prayers for a good outcome to your scan.  Try really hard to focus on your upcoming trip and how much fun you will have with your sister.

    Hugs,

    Kelly

  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member
    #5
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    Carla, I hope

    the CT brings good news.  Yes it is strange that some of us know something is going on in our bodies, yet we feel so good.  I'm not complaining about it.  I say I have cancer yet I am in better shape than most of the people around me. 

    I hope you have a great time on your trip and if you're in northern California, swing by.

    Karen

     

  • jbeans888
    jbeans888 Member Posts: 313
    #6
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    I feel good too

    I know how you are feeling.  My cancer came back and I feel and look great.  It just sucks.  I dont want to not feel and look great....again :-(

  • Alexandra
    Alexandra Member Posts: 1,308
    #7
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    Hi Carla,

    Good luck with the CT scan on Tuesday. I keep telling myself every day that not every bump, lump, nodule and ache is cancer and most of the time I believe it.

    Have a wonderful trip!

  • Glad to be done
    Glad to be done Member Posts: 569
    #8
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    Alexandra said:

    Hi Carla,

    Good luck with the CT scan on Tuesday. I keep telling myself every day that not every bump, lump, nodule and ache is cancer and most of the time I believe it.

    Have a wonderful trip!

    I hope all goes well with the

    I hope all goes well with the scan tomorrow.  Have a great vacation..

  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    #9
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    Glad to be done said:

    I hope all goes well with the

    I hope all goes well with the scan tomorrow.  Have a great vacation..

    Carla

    prayers that all is well...this disease is a rollercoster for sure. Please update us when you can....STAY STrong.....Val 

  • pandagypsy
    pandagypsy Member Posts: 113
    #10
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    it's baaaaaack :(

    I feel your frustration.......after enjoying 4 1/2 years post chemo, I decided it was time to make life plans again........sold the house and everything in it, bought a 35' motorhome...planned on first visting kids and grandkids....then where ever our wheels took us.  WWWRRROONNNGGGG....... yearly catscan "suspicious"...PET scan confirms reoccurance of stage 4 ovarian cancer......but it is realitively small, caught early, and is still in the belly.  I AM PISSED!!!!!  STUPID CANCER!!!!!! It is getting in the way of my "plans".  Hubby is very supportive, booked us at a rv resort near my onc. Since chemo will take us into winter, we decided we would book a year here (we are in FL....NOT heading up North in the winter!!!!!!) The park made us such a deal, we signed for 2 years........lowered the lot rent so much we will still have a home base and be able to travel next summer.

    I have accepted this new "detour".......love the rv (a lot less cleaning for anyone to do!).....great park with lots of activities (along with special $5 salad bar lunches and $6 dinners occasionally....NO COOKING!) Hubby has time to learn the ins and outs of rv living......

    I HATE CANCER!!!!!!  I AM NOT THE "STRONG" PERSON some people tell me I am (including hubby, who does not have any idea how I can put up with all of this crap.  ANSWER: you don't have a choice) I am not afraid to take any drugs which will help me to cope.......I WILL GET THRU THIS AGAIN....... the open road is waiting for me :) Guess you just have to find a goal.  One thing I will thank my Dr. for.......we agreed from the begining that I did not want him to "sugar coat" things, let me know exactly what my situation is....and he did tell me 5 years ago that I was CHRONIC: treatable but not curable.  So, not such a surprise when it came back.  Sorry 4 so much rambling........but it helps to have a group that understands :)

  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338
    #11
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    Hi Carla

    I think it was Charlene who first coined the phrase " it's not always cancer".  You sound like you feel well and that's a very good thing. I wish I had the answer on how not to be scared. We have been through so much ... Where's the magic wand when you need it? You are probably home from your trip by now and I hope you had a blast. (((((( hugs))))))  Maria

     

  • Jue
    Jue Member Posts: 80
    #12
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    pandagypsy said:

    it's baaaaaack :(

    I feel your frustration.......after enjoying 4 1/2 years post chemo, I decided it was time to make life plans again........sold the house and everything in it, bought a 35' motorhome...planned on first visting kids and grandkids....then where ever our wheels took us.  WWWRRROONNNGGGG....... yearly catscan "suspicious"...PET scan confirms reoccurance of stage 4 ovarian cancer......but it is realitively small, caught early, and is still in the belly.  I AM PISSED!!!!!  STUPID CANCER!!!!!! It is getting in the way of my "plans".  Hubby is very supportive, booked us at a rv resort near my onc. Since chemo will take us into winter, we decided we would book a year here (we are in FL....NOT heading up North in the winter!!!!!!) The park made us such a deal, we signed for 2 years........lowered the lot rent so much we will still have a home base and be able to travel next summer.

    I have accepted this new "detour".......love the rv (a lot less cleaning for anyone to do!).....great park with lots of activities (along with special $5 salad bar lunches and $6 dinners occasionally....NO COOKING!) Hubby has time to learn the ins and outs of rv living......

    I HATE CANCER!!!!!!  I AM NOT THE "STRONG" PERSON some people tell me I am (including hubby, who does not have any idea how I can put up with all of this crap.  ANSWER: you don't have a choice) I am not afraid to take any drugs which will help me to cope.......I WILL GET THRU THIS AGAIN....... the open road is waiting for me :) Guess you just have to find a goal.  One thing I will thank my Dr. for.......we agreed from the begining that I did not want him to "sugar coat" things, let me know exactly what my situation is....and he did tell me 5 years ago that I was CHRONIC: treatable but not curable.  So, not such a surprise when it came back.  Sorry 4 so much rambling........but it helps to have a group that understands :)

    Bloody disease

    Hi, I'm so sorry after 4 years this horrible disease came back to you,  it seems to just come to all of us when life is good or when we start to feel a false sense of security . Your plan to travel sounds amazing, here in england the weather wouldn't be good enough ! Get your next treatment done and try to enjoy every moment a cliche I know and hard to swallow but you sound like a tough cookie who will give this reoccurance a kicking . Best wishes from England enjoy winter in Florida . Jue

  • Jue
    Jue Member Posts: 80
    #13
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    Sending best wishes to you

    Sending best wishes to you Carla , hoping all goes well with your tests and the lump comes to nothing.  I'm glad you feel so well in yourself, get on case to find a trial that gets all back under control. Have a great break away to those great cities enjoy .jue

     

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