SO AFRAID PLEASE HELP ABOUT MY 64yr old FATHER HELP ME PLEASE!!

diananolast

Hello my name is Diana, my father Jesse who will be 64 July 29th, was in the Vietnam war and covered in agent orange, not sure if this means anything but up to now has been healthy and worked all his life. The worse thing he ever had was stitches or a toothache, I remember maybe 3 times in my life him having a touch of the flu.

Two weeks ago he started urinating blood, he is 3 hrs from me but my twin brother is a nurse who hurt his back 4 years ago at work so can't work now moved in with him.. My father is 60% Ottawa Indian and hates doctors and believes in the power of the mind to heal the body, So my brother Daniel made him go to the doctors to have some tests done, My brother has been making my dad get all of what he calls the old man tests anyhow and my dad pretend yells at him but does what he says mostly.. 6 months ago he got his first colonoscopy and everything way fine.

But he was peeing a lot of blood and he pretended not to be worried and said in passing to my nurse brother, hey man looks like someone killed someone in the bathroom, ( trying to let my brother know something was wrong but with a joke ) Anyhow sorry, I just found out today about ALL THIS... My dad went to the docs and all CBC came back normal so did a urine test. They put him on something that made him feel better and he didn't see anymore blood, but at the follow up apt, he did another urine test and they still saw blood so they sent him to get an ultrasound of his bladder and kidneys, They saw a solid 2.54 cm or 1 inch mass on his kidney. He has no pain, never did. 

They are making him go to the urologists soon to do a CAT scan with contrast. They said it looked like the mass was complex but a capsuled and sitting on the inside of his outer kidney so it shows as a lump coming form it. The likely hood of it being cancer is over 80% he does not smoke but likes to suck on and chew on the ends of cigars and has done so for years. He does not drink or do drugs. 

My dad is a 5'5 inch 220lb man who is the silliest, most loving and giving person in the world AND I AM FREAKING OUT..  My dad would go hungry and homeless for his family, put it this way he has been divorced from my mom for 14 years and and they are still best friends, she has been married 4 other times and each Christmas no matter who it was ( My dad as gifts gives out money ) He ALWAYS gives her and whom ever boyfriend or new husband $100 each plush us four kids $100 And whom ever happens to be our partner at the time. He saves all year to be able to do this. He is an amazing man..  I need my Daddy and I am just so afraid.. I NEED HOPE please someone I am going crazy, I have always been the sick one, I am 5'6 35 I have IIH and uvitits of the left eye and have only 20/200 site in it. Plus a slew of other problems. He has been healthy all his life.. My father was adopted and didn't meet his family till he was 30, his mother died of cervical cancer, his uncle of  throat cancer, his older brother's have cancer one has lung cancer, not sure about the other but its not kidney related, and his sister died of colon cancer.... I am a MAJOR hypochondriac, cancer has been my number one fear almost my whole life!! I was raised thinking my great aunt was the only one in my family to ever have cancer and it was liver cancer and she lived 40 + years after it was taken care of.... My father does not talk to his older siblings only his little sister so he didn't know. We found out 2 years ago about them having cancer... I have so much fear that now cancer really runs in the family and NOW it looks like it has broken into the imitated family...  My Grandmother on his side 100% Indian died of cervical cancer because she didn't get it treated..

So I have 99.999% fear for my father and fear of the cancer gene coming to get me.. I am overwhelmed, scared, shocked and SO LOST.. I am so sorry this is so long, I just found out and I don't know what to say or do... Please forgive me.

Thank you for any advise you can give me,

Diana

 

 

 ME AND MY DADDY

cubsfan9

Hello!

Good Morning, Diana!

I am so sorry to hear of your situation, but glad you have found this site as you will be able to get information and support from the members.  We have all been where you are, either as patients or caregivers, and can relate to your shock and fear.

It is good that your brother is 'taking charge' and getting your dad to a urologist.  IF it is determined that his mass is kidney cancer, it sounds as if it is fairly small.  In that case, surgery is often done to remove the mass and that is the end of the story:)  If there is evidence that it is not localized there are several drugs used to treat the disease.  I am sure others will chime in, but if he has surgery and needs further treatment he should look for a doctor/oncologist who has experience with RCC (kidney cancer) as it behaves and responds differently from other types of cancer.

As far as the genetic factor, kidney cancer MAY have a genetic component, but that tends to be a little more unusual.  If you read information about others on this board you will see that very few have kidney cancer that 'runs in the family'.  Given the kinds of cancer you mention that family members have had, I don't think they would be related to your father's situaiton.  Perhaps someone with more knowledge than I will comment on this issue.

It is very obvious from your photo and your post that you and your brother love your father very much.  He is lucky to have such wonderful children and will need your love and support as he deals with this.  Try to take a deep breath as you wait for further testing and results.  Remember, this may not turn out to be cancer, and if it is it may be treated with surgery and done!!  Keep us posted, and feel freee to ask questions.               ~Sharon

APny

cubsfan9 said:

Hello!

Good Morning, Diana!

I am so sorry to hear of your situation, but glad you have found this site as you will be able to get information and support from the members.  We have all been where you are, either as patients or caregivers, and can relate to your shock and fear.

It is good that your brother is 'taking charge' and getting your dad to a urologist.  IF it is determined that his mass is kidney cancer, it sounds as if it is fairly small.  In that case, surgery is often done to remove the mass and that is the end of the story:)  If there is evidence that it is not localized there are several drugs used to treat the disease.  I am sure others will chime in, but if he has surgery and needs further treatment he should look for a doctor/oncologist who has experience with RCC (kidney cancer) as it behaves and responds differently from other types of cancer.

As far as the genetic factor, kidney cancer MAY have a genetic component, but that tends to be a little more unusual.  If you read information about others on this board you will see that very few have kidney cancer that 'runs in the family'.  Given the kinds of cancer you mention that family members have had, I don't think they would be related to your father's situaiton.  Perhaps someone with more knowledge than I will comment on this issue.

It is very obvious from your photo and your post that you and your brother love your father very much.  He is lucky to have such wonderful children and will need your love and support as he deals with this.  Try to take a deep breath as you wait for further testing and results.  Remember, this may not turn out to be cancer, and if it is it may be treated with surgery and done!!  Keep us posted, and feel freee to ask questions.               ~Sharon

So sorry to hear about your

So sorry to hear about your dad and wishing him the best. I understand your fears of genetics but genetics is not destiny. You may never get cancer, even if some of your family member did or do have it. And the opposite is true. No one in my family ever had or has any type of cancer whatsoever yet I was "blessed" with RCC. Your dad is fortunate to have such caring children.

diananolast

cubsfan9 said:

Hello!

Good Morning, Diana!

I am so sorry to hear of your situation, but glad you have found this site as you will be able to get information and support from the members.  We have all been where you are, either as patients or caregivers, and can relate to your shock and fear.

It is good that your brother is 'taking charge' and getting your dad to a urologist.  IF it is determined that his mass is kidney cancer, it sounds as if it is fairly small.  In that case, surgery is often done to remove the mass and that is the end of the story:)  If there is evidence that it is not localized there are several drugs used to treat the disease.  I am sure others will chime in, but if he has surgery and needs further treatment he should look for a doctor/oncologist who has experience with RCC (kidney cancer) as it behaves and responds differently from other types of cancer.

As far as the genetic factor, kidney cancer MAY have a genetic component, but that tends to be a little more unusual.  If you read information about others on this board you will see that very few have kidney cancer that 'runs in the family'.  Given the kinds of cancer you mention that family members have had, I don't think they would be related to your father's situaiton.  Perhaps someone with more knowledge than I will comment on this issue.

It is very obvious from your photo and your post that you and your brother love your father very much.  He is lucky to have such wonderful children and will need your love and support as he deals with this.  Try to take a deep breath as you wait for further testing and results.  Remember, this may not turn out to be cancer, and if it is it may be treated with surgery and done!!  Keep us posted, and feel freee to ask questions.               ~Sharon

THANK YOU

It means so much to me that you both got back to me so fast, you made me smile for the first time in days.. I just can't lose my dad and the fear I will get it and my brothers and sister are overwhelming, I feel so selfish thinking of us at a time like this, but my family means so much to me, they are all I have.. THANK YOU AGAIN so much for getting back to me so fast !!!

 

HUGS
DIANA

cjhawk38

Curable when caught small

 

Your father’s tumor is fairly small and once removed he will be cancer free. Generally the people that die from Kidney cancer are those that didn’t know they had it until it spread somewhere else.  I had robotic partial nephrectomy done at Dr. Phillips Hospital in Orlando in March.  Surgery was on Monday and I went to a concert at SeaWorld on Sunday 6 days after.

Spending your life worrying that you will have cancer one day is a waste of your energy and time.  If it happens it happens if it doesn’t it doesn’t you aren’t in control.  Good thing is today’s survival rate for all cancers is better and getting better all the time. 

 

 

Cindy

icemantoo

diananolast said:

THANK YOU

It means so much to me that you both got back to me so fast, you made me smile for the first time in days.. I just can't lose my dad and the fear I will get it and my brothers and sister are overwhelming, I feel so selfish thinking of us at a time like this, but my family means so much to me, they are all I have.. THANK YOU AGAIN so much for getting back to me so fast !!!

 

HUGS
DIANA

Your dad should be fine

Diana,

 

The bad news is that he probably has Kidney Cancer and will need surgery to remove his Kidney.

The good news is that it is only 2.54 cm and absent any other complications he will be cured by the surgery alone.

I too peed red and that is enough to scare the sh-- out of anyone. That was 12 years ago and I will be 71 in about 8 weeks.

Off to the CT and probably not so fun surgwey, but he should be fine. He was very lucky to have caught the tumor when it was relatively small.

Again he will be fine.

 

Icemantoo

Champers

Normal

Diana,

Your fears are normal. We've all been there...

To help me move beyond the fear, I educated myself about kidney cancer. Knowledge will destroy fear of the unknown! This place is a great resource: people are caring and they are educated about their disease. And, like I've said, we've all been there!

The surgery to remove a tumor that small can be amazingly easy for the patient, especially if there is a specialist in your father's area who can do it laproscopically (no big incisions, just a few small "holes," which are usually not even stitched up afterward...just glued)! Most of us who have had that surgery were out hospital in a couple days, and the recovery is surprisingly easy after that. I was back golfing in a few weeks and learned to windsurf 3 months later.

I went into my surgery expecting the tumor to be cancer. That way, I wouldn't be blindsided when the pathology report came back. I was armed with the knowledge that a tumor that small (mine was around 2 cm) has very little chance of recurring. I knew that surgery is likely the only treatment I would need for this cancer!

So, please take a deep breath and continue to love and support your dad through his surgery. He has to have surgery in order to actually know whether or not the tumor is actually cancer. Cross that bridge when you get to it! There are some people on this board who joined when they found out they had a tumor, had surgery, and when the pathology report came back, they found out it wasn't cancer at all.

Best of luck to you and your dad.

 

 

 

diananolast

Champers said:

Normal

Diana,

Your fears are normal. We've all been there...

To help me move beyond the fear, I educated myself about kidney cancer. Knowledge will destroy fear of the unknown! This place is a great resource: people are caring and they are educated about their disease. And, like I've said, we've all been there!

The surgery to remove a tumor that small can be amazingly easy for the patient, especially if there is a specialist in your father's area who can do it laproscopically (no big incisions, just a few small "holes," which are usually not even stitched up afterward...just glued)! Most of us who have had that surgery were out hospital in a couple days, and the recovery is surprisingly easy after that. I was back golfing in a few weeks and learned to windsurf 3 months later.

I went into my surgery expecting the tumor to be cancer. That way, I wouldn't be blindsided when the pathology report came back. I was armed with the knowledge that a tumor that small (mine was around 2 cm) has very little chance of recurring. I knew that surgery is likely the only treatment I would need for this cancer!

So, please take a deep breath and continue to love and support your dad through his surgery. He has to have surgery in order to actually know whether or not the tumor is actually cancer. Cross that bridge when you get to it! There are some people on this board who joined when they found out they had a tumor, had surgery, and when the pathology report came back, they found out it wasn't cancer at all.

Best of luck to you and your dad.

 

 

 

WONDERFUL

You have made me feel a lot better, my dad is pushy, I keep telling him hope for the best but go in and expect the worst.. SO you wont be blindsided like you said.. My dad is never one to take it easy, he will push himself till he gets sick, That's why my mother me and my brother will be there to push him to get up and walk and tell him when we can tell he has had enough and to take it easy. If he was alone, he would even if it was a big surgery try to go back to work and do all his normal things in a few days time... WE WONT let that happen.. He raised me and took care of me and now its his turn.. I can be pushy to, and if I say sit down old man right now he knows I am not playing lol.. 3 to his one, and trust me he can pout like a child and even throw a fit and we are ready for the fight, anything to get him back to his old self so he can go on doing what he loves.. I am going in ready for a fight with him and to make him fight to get better!!!!! No choice daughters orders!!!!!!!!!!!

aamdsi

Glad for your brother

Getting your Dad to the doctor! 

I am very very close to my father so know how it feels when they are sick.

As people have pointed out, if it is cancer, it is small and can be taken care of.

Also genetics don't always prove you are going to get what others have.  I am the ONLY one in my family with cancer, an I don't have the things that others have.  Don't let that fear take hold of you 8-(

You just need to be strong and hang in there. Wait until all tests come back and deal with one thing at a time.

Lots of extra hugs from and to you Dad help as well.

Jan4you

Well I must say I can FEEL

Well I must say I can FEEL the love you have for your daddy, rightly so! AND I love this picture!! You can see you are the twinkle in his eye as well!

Now its good your brother is there and your daddy is listening. Down deep I bet he knows something is not quite right. However, with a good Urologist and surgery if it is renal cancer, it is very treatable and correctable. Trust in the doctors and medical process.

Also, not sure what your spiritual belief system is, but no matter what this teaches one to live for today and not worry about all the tomorrows. What does worrying ever get one anyway, right? So celebrate the love, enjoy the moments shared and continue that precious love.

There is much support and education here, so glad you found this site!

Warmly with a gentle hug hon,

Jan

Eliezer2

RCC Gene?

Well for what it is worth, evidently there is no such thing as a RCC gene, although there is some genetic evidence that sons of women who had early breast cancer have a higher risk of developing RCC (which does not seem to be the case in your family).  So while you will need to to periodic physicals and checkups (for RCC, a simple ultrasound rules it out), it does not sound like you are at serious risk and you should concentrate on helping your young 63 year old dad cope.  Best wishes from another 63 year old dad with RCC!

 

Eliezer2

Eliezer2 said:

RCC Gene?

Well for what it is worth, evidently there is no such thing as a RCC gene, although there is some genetic evidence that sons of women who had early breast cancer have a higher risk of developing RCC (which does not seem to be the case in your family).  So while you will need to to periodic physicals and checkups (for RCC, a simple ultrasound rules it out), it does not sound like you are at serious risk and you should concentrate on helping your young 63 year old dad cope.  Best wishes from another 63 year old dad with RCC!

 

PS Clarification

As far as I can understand, the thinking is not that there is a RCC gene but rather that a different gene that usually cleanses out or zaps RCC like cells for some reason "falls asleep" on its job.  Current reserach is seeking ways to wake it up.

NanoSecond

Eliezer2 said:

PS Clarification

As far as I can understand, the thinking is not that there is a RCC gene but rather that a different gene that usually cleanses out or zaps RCC like cells for some reason "falls asleep" on its job.  Current reserach is seeking ways to wake it up.

RCC and genes

There is not "one" RCC gene that may be responsible - there are quite a few.  Some are oncogenes (i.e. they promote the growth of cancer) and others are tumor suppressor genes (i.e. they work to inhibit the growth of cancer).

The one curious commonality of all the various genes that may be involved or mutated is that they all effect cell metabolism.  This is why Dr. W. Marston Linehan of the NIH/NCI considers all the various versions of RCC as a prime example of "cancer as a metabolic disease":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxRXDElQ_nQ&noredirect=1

todd121

Welcome!

Sorry you have to be here and your dad "may" have to be a part of our group. Until you get the CT scan, you really won't know. Even then, if the CT scan says it's probably cancer, you won't really know until after they remove it and have somebody look at it under the microscope and tell you what it is. And after that, even if it turns out to have been RCC, there's a pretty good chance that will be the end of it. Most small tumors caught early are cured with the surgery. Even if there are others soon or later, there are other treatments that might stop it.

So there's a lot of room for hope here. You're right to be concerned, but don't get too far into how bad it is when it isn't there yet!

I do know what it feels like, at least from your dad's point of view. I was peeing blood about 18 months ago and had my kidney removed a month later to find out it was the most common type of kidney cancer, clear cell renal cell carcinoma (we call it ccRCC). My tumor was about 7 cm and so far I've had no others. I'm very grateful for that.

Make sure your dad sees somebody that knows about this kind of cancer. The first doctor you're likely to see is a urologist, who is a surgeon that will decide about removing all or part of the kidney based on the CT scan. They can usually tell from the CT if it's very likely cancer. If they remove it and if it turns out to be kidney cancer, make sure your dad sees a medical oncologist soon (or even before they remove it if you can). Medical oncologists know a lot about cancer that occur throughout the body  and how to treat it - more than urologists know. Kidney cancer is a rarer type of cancer and there've been many new drugs developed recently and are under development, so if he has it, you'll want him to see the best medical oncologist he can find with kidney cancer experience (or someone that can call someone that knows a lot about kidney cancer).

With regards to you inheriting this, it's not very likely. Most kidney cancer is caused by gene mutations that happen after birth and is not inherited. I heard an expert speak about this a few months ago and she said something like 90% of kidney cancer falls into this category (as I remember). The number may have even been higher. So you're very unlikely to inherit it.

Hope some of this helps. Please let us know how it's going with your dad.

Todd

 

NewDay

todd121 said:

Welcome!

Sorry you have to be here and your dad "may" have to be a part of our group. Until you get the CT scan, you really won't know. Even then, if the CT scan says it's probably cancer, you won't really know until after they remove it and have somebody look at it under the microscope and tell you what it is. And after that, even if it turns out to have been RCC, there's a pretty good chance that will be the end of it. Most small tumors caught early are cured with the surgery. Even if there are others soon or later, there are other treatments that might stop it.

So there's a lot of room for hope here. You're right to be concerned, but don't get too far into how bad it is when it isn't there yet!

I do know what it feels like, at least from your dad's point of view. I was peeing blood about 18 months ago and had my kidney removed a month later to find out it was the most common type of kidney cancer, clear cell renal cell carcinoma (we call it ccRCC). My tumor was about 7 cm and so far I've had no others. I'm very grateful for that.

Make sure your dad sees somebody that knows about this kind of cancer. The first doctor you're likely to see is a urologist, who is a surgeon that will decide about removing all or part of the kidney based on the CT scan. They can usually tell from the CT if it's very likely cancer. If they remove it and if it turns out to be kidney cancer, make sure your dad sees a medical oncologist soon (or even before they remove it if you can). Medical oncologists know a lot about cancer that occur throughout the body  and how to treat it - more than urologists know. Kidney cancer is a rarer type of cancer and there've been many new drugs developed recently and are under development, so if he has it, you'll want him to see the best medical oncologist he can find with kidney cancer experience (or someone that can call someone that knows a lot about kidney cancer).

With regards to you inheriting this, it's not very likely. Most kidney cancer is caused by gene mutations that happen after birth and is not inherited. I heard an expert speak about this a few months ago and she said something like 90% of kidney cancer falls into this category (as I remember). The number may have even been higher. So you're very unlikely to inherit it.

Hope some of this helps. Please let us know how it's going with your dad.

Todd

 

BREATHE!

Hi Diana,

I'm glad you found us so soon in this journey.  I completely understand the shock, panic, and fear.  I've been there.  As others have said, it looks like it was found early. You have been told it is likely cancer.  But, it is also likely that surgery is all that will be needed and it is UNLIKELY to be hereditary.  Some types are, but they are rare.  The members on this site were key in helping me to come back to earth and get myself together.  Panic will not help. You want your father to take it seriously enough to get it taken care of, but it won't help if you pass along your panic.  While it is true that surgery will probably be the end of it, he will still need scans in the future just to be safe and an oncologist can help make a plan after things have calmed down.  You and he will get through this.  Take a breath and try to take it one step at a time.  Easier said than done I know.  Let us know how it goes.

Kathy

Txgrl

I am paranoid just like

I am paranoid just like you.We think we will get it because our dad has it. Dr has told me smoking was my dad's reason for getting RCC. I have ultrasounds every 2 years just for peace of mind. The last ultrasound they found a small simple cyst which made me more paranoid. I was told they are harmless. You can get them anywhere in the body. Praying for you and your family.

diananolast

Txgrl said:

I am paranoid just like

I am paranoid just like you.We think we will get it because our dad has it. Dr has told me smoking was my dad's reason for getting RCC. I have ultrasounds every 2 years just for peace of mind. The last ultrasound they found a small simple cyst which made me more paranoid. I was told they are harmless. You can get them anywhere in the body. Praying for you and your family.

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

I have not found out anything new, but will keep this updated, you have all made me feel so much better for him and for myself.. And no worries I will never let him see my fear. 

 

HUGS

DIANA

Vivaldi

Eighty percent is not a hundred percent

I was told just over a year ago that I had a mass and that it was 90% certain it was kidney cancer.  You have to remember, that for every hundred people, ten of them will have a lump that was not kidney cancer, and it was in that percentage.  So I know the number seems like a near certainty, but it just wanted to remind you that there are those of us out there who did have one of the other types of kidney tumour that is not cancerous.  Keep calm and be supportive, you cannot go through life worrying about the what ifs, otherwise you waste your life to fear.  Wishing you and your dad all the best.