depressed

chris8588
chris8588 Member Posts: 57
in Ovarian Cancer #1

So I had my appt with my onc. today and it seems my CA number is rising, they are checking todays numbers. I guess they worry only when it consistly rises.  I had my treatment today then will have a scan to see whats what.  Its so depressing i just want to be over with this disease.  It seems I take one step forward then 10 steps backwards.  Just dont know what to do.

Comments

  • lovesanimals
    lovesanimals Member Posts: 1,366 Member
    #2
    Dear Chris

    I'm so sorry that your CA 125 appears to be rising.  You can't help but feel scared in this situation.  However, it's very possible that your CA 125 is rising for other non-cancer reasons, such as an infection.  I recall you saying that you are currently on Doxil.  Even if cancer is causing the rise, there are so many choices of chemos to kick your cancer's butt including Gemzar, Topotecan and Avastin, to name a few.  I know you feel like you are not moving in the right direction but just focus on putting one foot in front of the other.  We're here to cheer you on!

    Sending lots of positive thoughts and energy your way and hoping for the best possible outcome to your upcoming scan.

    Warm hugs,

    Kelly 

  • chris8588
    chris8588 Member Posts: 57
    #3
    Thanks Kelly for the wishes,

    Thanks Kelly for the wishes, its just hard because my numbers were going down.  So its just scary, again thanks for your words of comfort

  • scatsm
    scatsm Member Posts: 296 Member
    #4
    Chris, it will get better!

    I always have a hard time when I get bad news (like of my recent recurrence) but I find I need a few days to absorb bad news, get a new plan and move forward. Usually, I'll have some down days, and eventually pull it together and move forward. i just had an allergic reaction to Gemzar, 2nd treatment, ended up in the hospital for 4 days, getting chemo the last day and being sent home feeling like crap...I started to think omg this is how it's gonna be, there's no hope etc....today I'm back to, ok I can fight this, I will fight this etc. I hope that you can do the same....sometimes just sharing our fears helps. There are lots of options still left....be positive as best  you can and know that we are here to listen, encourage and have your back.

    Love

    Susan

     

  • chris8588
    chris8588 Member Posts: 57
    #5
    Thanks for the words of

    Thanks for the words of encouragement Susan, sometimes its so frustrating especially since my numbers were going down.  I am like you I need a couple of whoa is me days then I am ok.  Thanks again

  • Rosamond M
    Rosamond M Member Posts: 86 Member
    #6
    Thinking of you.

    We all have that constant problem of our CA125 blood test results. May it help in some

    way to know that we all share your concern and understand how you must be feeling

    and our thoughts are with you.

     

  • chris8588
    chris8588 Member Posts: 57
    #7
    Thanks Rosamond you are right

    Thanks Rosamond you are right everybodies words of encouragement do help, its just so hard some days.  Especially when my numbers were going down.

  • Goyca
    Goyca Member Posts: 220
    #8
    Stay strong :)

    hey chris ,

    all i want to say is keep smiling at the numbers, because be confident that you will beat them soon.

     

    my mum has ovarian cancer and i can understand your sadness... but this is today, u'll never know what tomorrow will bring you.

     

     

    Goyca.

  • Cafewoman53
    Cafewoman53 Member Posts: 735 Member
    #9
    Those Damm numbers!

    We are tied to those numbers, it is joyful when they go down and our hearts sink when they rise but they are temporary. They next time they might be better hang on to that. I have gotten to the point where I think they are not ever going to be great for me but with the doctor hopefully we can keep them reasonably low.

    How do you feel? If you are feeling well and the numbers are bad, screw the numbers.You are not defined by a test result you are a whole person. Enjoy today don't let this disease have any more time than it has to have. I cant change that I have cancer but I won't let it control me.

    Do something nice for yourself today, something that will make you smile !

    Colleen

  • chris8588
    chris8588 Member Posts: 57
    #10
    Thanks Goyca for the words of

    Thanks Goyca for the words of encourgagement I appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers

  • chris8588
    chris8588 Member Posts: 57
    #11
    Cafewoman53 said:

    Those Damm numbers!

    We are tied to those numbers, it is joyful when they go down and our hearts sink when they rise but they are temporary. They next time they might be better hang on to that. I have gotten to the point where I think they are not ever going to be great for me but with the doctor hopefully we can keep them reasonably low.

    How do you feel? If you are feeling well and the numbers are bad, screw the numbers.You are not defined by a test result you are a whole person. Enjoy today don't let this disease have any more time than it has to have. I cant change that I have cancer but I won't let it control me.

    Do something nice for yourself today, something that will make you smile !

    Colleen

    Thanks Colleen I feel fine

    Thanks Colleen I feel fine physically, mentally is a different story.  You are right about those damm numbers, I try not to let them control but sometimes I just cant help it.  Thanks again for your encouragement.  I did something fun on Saturday, my daughter and I went to see The Other Woman great movie by the way and then did some shopping.  It always helps hanging out with her.

  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    #12
    chris8588 said:

    Thanks Goyca for the words of

    Thanks Goyca for the words of encourgagement I appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers

    Hate numbers

    my doc says they are just a guideline....but I still worry too! My numbers gave been up and down also...can be very stressfull. If you are feeling good otherwise..chemo is working. Stay positive ..we are all in the the same boat.....Val 

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