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I made a Hard decision today.

jim and i
jim and i CSN Member Posts: 1,788 Member
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

I made the decision to put Jim in the Hospice facility today.  the decision was very hard but after two days and nights with no sleep and another fall Saturday I had to so they could get his meds right. He was fine with it but when he found out I wouldn't be there he was not happy about that. I told him I would try to stay tomorrow after I had a good nights sleep. I keep thinking things couldn't get any harder until I walked out of that room today. I hope I can fall asleep.

Debbie

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Comments

  • katenorwood
    katenorwood CSN Member Posts: 1,912
    #2
    thoughts and prayers

    Debbie,

    I continue to keep Jim and you in my thoughts and prayers.  I wish I could do more.  You know I'm here if you need a shoulder.  Hugs sent !  Katie

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  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 CSN Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #3
    Heart Aches..

    My heart aches for you....

    Get some rest, get your energy and go see your man when you are rested up...

    Prayers,

    John

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  • lornal
    lornal CSN Member Posts: 428
    #4
    Prayers

    Prayers with you and Jim, and the other caregivers.  Sleep well.

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  • josh r.
    josh r. CSN Member Posts: 264 Member
    #5
    stay strong

    Debbie,

    Stay strong as you have been. Our prayers and thoughts are with you both. josh r.

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  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 CSN Member Posts: 4,716
    #6
    Oh Debbie...

    That IS tough, my heart is breaking for you.   You'll be there tomorrow with him, and you know he's in good care.....sleep on that.

    p

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  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne CSN Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #7
    debbie, i cannot imagine the

    debbie, i cannot imagine the way your heart must have hurt today but you absolutley did the right thing.  get some much needed rest and go see Jim tomorrow.  you don't need to collapse from exhaustion, then you couldn't be there for Jim.  praying for peace and comfort for you and jim.  i wish we could do more but please know we are always here for you and Jim.

    God bless you,

    dj

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  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt CSN Member Posts: 4,725 Member
    #8
    T&P

    Debbie,

    You both need rest.  You are doing the right thing.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you both,

    Matt

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  • KB56
    KB56 CSN Member Posts: 318 Member
    #9
    Decision

    Debbie, I know it had to be a very tough decision but at least you know he's getting fantastic care in a place that really cares.   Plus, you need some rest and I'm sure Jim would want you to get some rest.    

    we're all thinking about you and Jim.  not a day goes by that you two don't cross my mind.  

    Sincerely

    Keith

     

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  • Guzzle
    Guzzle CSN Member Posts: 710
    #10
    KB56 said:

    Decision

    Debbie, I know it had to be a very tough decision but at least you know he's getting fantastic care in a place that really cares.   Plus, you need some rest and I'm sure Jim would want you to get some rest.    

    we're all thinking about you and Jim.  not a day goes by that you two don't cross my mind.  

    Sincerely

    Keith

     

    Care

    Debbie my mother in law has a similar decision to make regarding care. I know how tough its been for her. Get some much needed rest. Thinking of you both.

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  • Ladylacy
    Ladylacy CSN Member Posts: 773 Member
    #11
    You

    Debbie, as hard as it was, you made the right decision.  You need to help yourself too because if you are too exhausted you can't be any help to Jim and can harm yourself too.   You can always bring him home once they have his medication adjusted.  

    Wishing you both peace and comfort -- Sharon

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  • Grandmax4
    Grandmax4 CSN Member Posts: 723
    #12
    Jim will

    be well cared for, and you know, deep down, you had to do this or your own health is at risk. I hope you both sleep like babies and the adjustments necessary for Jim's care are made..don't feel guilty, you're Jim's rock and have his best interest in your heart

     

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  • rkliveson
    rkliveson CSN Member Posts: 15
    #13
    As hard as it may have been

    As hard as it may have been and how sad and or guilty you feel about it.. I would much rather be in a hospice then to let my wife or children burdon the suffering of watching me suffer.  We all want to wait for the Rapture but believe me some of us will not make it.. you cherish the good times and love him till the end.. God will do the rest.

    RK

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  • Hondo
    Hondo CSN Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #14
    Hi Debbie

    We all know it is a hard decision to make and understand that sometime you have to do it. I asked my wife when my times comes to let me die at home but after seeing how hard it has been for you I think I will change my mind and let her do what needs to be done. I don’t want to pull her down with me and I know Jim is the same way. God bless and keep you in all you have been through be strong.

     

    God be with you and Jim in your hour of need

    Tim Hondo  

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  • Jan Trinks
    Jan Trinks CSN Member Posts: 477
    #15
    Hard but right decision

    Debbie:

     

    So sorry about the hardest decision you've probably ever made - but it's the right decision.  You know deep down that Jim wouldn't want you to jeopardize your health.  Hope you both slept well last nite.  Y'all are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.  Keep us posted when you can. Hope today is a better day.  I read Hondo's post about how he thought he'd change his mind about dying at home.  I guess it was selfish of me, but I worried about that and didn't want that to happen with Charlie because I didn't want my last memory of him at home to be that one.  As it turned out I was spared the decision of Hospice but because of his gi bleed his onc. admitted him to hospital and you know the rest of the story.  And now that I think about his onc. probably did that for me as well - he was well aware of my worries and such!  It is such a hard thing to watch the love of your life slip away but try to remember you're there for him and have done everything you can and still are.  God Bless.

     

    Jan (Basketcase)

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  • hwt
    hwt CSN Member Posts: 2,328 Member
    #16
    Jan Trinks said:

    Hard but right decision

    Debbie:

     

    So sorry about the hardest decision you've probably ever made - but it's the right decision.  You know deep down that Jim wouldn't want you to jeopardize your health.  Hope you both slept well last nite.  Y'all are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.  Keep us posted when you can. Hope today is a better day.  I read Hondo's post about how he thought he'd change his mind about dying at home.  I guess it was selfish of me, but I worried about that and didn't want that to happen with Charlie because I didn't want my last memory of him at home to be that one.  As it turned out I was spared the decision of Hospice but because of his gi bleed his onc. admitted him to hospital and you know the rest of the story.  And now that I think about his onc. probably did that for me as well - he was well aware of my worries and such!  It is such a hard thing to watch the love of your life slip away but try to remember you're there for him and have done everything you can and still are.  God Bless.

     

    Jan (Basketcase)

    Debbie

    Sorry you had to make this decision, I know it had to be difficult. I'm sure Jim will get good care and now you can devote yourself to his emotional care while others tend to the physical things.

    God Bless your family.

    Hugs,

    Candi 

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  • hawk711
    hawk711 CSN Member Posts: 566
    #17
    hwt said:

    Debbie

    Sorry you had to make this decision, I know it had to be difficult. I'm sure Jim will get good care and now you can devote yourself to his emotional care while others tend to the physical things.

    God Bless your family.

    Hugs,

    Candi 

    Debbie

    You did what's best for Jim.  My thoughts are with you both.  

    all the best,

    steve

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