Thank you....

teamzach

Thank you for everyone who sent their condolences regarding my sweet Zach. I believe he joined sometime last year and you all really were family to him. I would like to keep his memory alive by keeping in touch with you all as well as encouraging anyone who is struggling. I hope my voice is valuable as a caregiver and someone who saw this disease at its ugliest. For anyone who didn't know Zach, he ws diagnosed with IV colon cancer 8 months after we were married and at the young age of 30. I had 16 precious and amazing months with him and he passed away ON his 32nd birthday, the day before our 2nd anniversary. I know that God has a plan for my life... even though at times it is hard to see.

Also, thank you to Ann for being such a sweet and giving part of our journey.. If you are on here.. then you know how amazing she is

 

Janelle

tootsie1

So sorry

I've been real spotty with my participation on this board for a bit, so I really didn't know him, but I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

*hugs*

Gail

wolfen

tootsie1 said:

So sorry

I've been real spotty with my participation on this board for a bit, so I really didn't know him, but I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

*hugs*

Gail

Janelle

You and Zach will always be part of our family. His strength and faith were an inspiration to so many. We were all saddend to hear that he lost his battle.

I also lost my husband to cancer 8 months ago. We were married for more than 40 years. No matter how much time we are given with the other half of our soul, it is never enough. His was H&N and lung cancer. I am the mother of Johnnybegood & initially joined this site to be of assitance to her & so many others that have become my family.

Please do post any time, whether it is to give or receive support or just for a hug which I know you are needing right now.

Ann is a true angel in disguise.

Luv,

Wolfen

rls67

I am so sorry for your loss.

Zach seemed like a caring and loving person who had so much to give. I have seen so many good people pass in the 14 months I have been on here. It breaks my heart each time. Like you, I am also a caregiver. I know the helpless feeling you must have felt. Because I feel it every day. Take comfort in knowing that Zach knew you were there for him. As a caregiver, that is all we can do. Be there for them and comfort them as best as we can. Take care and God Bless you.

Chelsea71

Hi Janelle.  I'm forty three

Hi Janelle.  I'm forty three and I lost my husband, Steve, almost six months ago from colon cancer.  it's been a very rough road.  I'd be happy to talk to you and help you through this difficult time.  Zach seemed like a really neat guy.  We miss him.

Chelsea

Yes, Ann is pretty wonderful.

janderson1964

Thank you for posting

Thank you for posting Janelle. My heart is aching as I read your post. I loved Zach and his screen name. He is truly at peace now. I could relate to Zach since I too am a stage IV survivor. I can also relate to you since I was widowed when I was 34. So please let me know if there is anyway I can help you with your tragic loss.

Phil64

Thank you

Janelle,

Thank you for posting.  I'm so sorry for your loss. 

Sincerely,

Phil

blog: http://PScamihorn.me

LivinginNH

Hi Janelle,
My deepest

Hi Janelle,

My deepest condolences to you and your family, I know how devastating and heartbreaking this whole ordeal has been for you, I understand.  I lost my Rick 14 months ago, but it still feels like yesterday.  Please feel free to send me a note if you'd like to chat or vent, or whatever.  You're going to go through a host of emotions during the coming year, but know that it's quite normal.  We're here for you, so please send a note if you'd like.

Take care,

Cynthia

annalexandria

You joined...yay!

I'm glad you decided to...I feel that having experienced voices here is really important, and understandably, a lot of caregivers don't feel up to participating once the person with cancer has passed away.  I know having your kind spirit here will make this board an even better place for other caregivers looking for support.

Big hugs~AA

jen2012

Very nice to meet you

Very nice to meet you Janelle.  Zach always seemed like such a great guy.  I'm so sorry for your loss.   May your memories always keep him in your heart.

Thanks for joining us - I look forward to getting to know you.   I believe my husband was diagnosed around the same time as Zach - August 2012.  Also stage 4, still fighting.  

devotion10

Janelle … that is a beautiful picture of you and Zach.

My husband passed away eight months ago tomorrow from his colorectal cancer that had metastasized to his brain. He was first diagnosed in 2008 and then passed five years later in our home. It was an honor to care for him. Every moment. Every day. It was also extraordinarily challenging.

I have had good advice to go easy on myself and I now pass this advice to you ...

You have suffered through a long, painful and devastating time of pre-death grieving (likely when he wasn't looking); you have held up through all the aspects of terminal illness and the horrible end. For anywhere from days to weeks to months to years, your feet were on jello or quicksand, if you will, not knowing when the other shoe would drop.  Take at least one year to get your feet back on solid ground before you seriously plan your future. Do what you feel is absolutely necessary at the moment. Then do what you want and are able to do. If you don't feel comfortable about a decision, if possible, postpone it until you can work it out to your satisfaction. Never mind all the things that have not been done; work on your to do list as you feel physically and emotionally inclined to do so. This future is yours and belongs to no one but you. 

Likely, your strong faith will carry you through the darkest times. Everyone has something that saves them in the darkest of times.

I hope that you come back as often as you feel comfortable. Caregivers (especially those who have lost a loved one to this disease) while not having experienced the cancer ... have had the unique experience of observing this disease from beginning to end.

Sometimes my best advice is to remind our friends here to cherish their life while they are alive and perhaps give serious thought to continuing aggressive treatments that make them feel very ill and will not ultimately result in their survival. Those who have lost a loved one understand that health can deteriorate quickly and result in death. My hope is that if our friends here will not survive their cancer that they have a period of time to just enjoy being with their families and not have their life continue to be medicalized until the end. Sometimes this type of advice only comes from caregivers as there is an unfortunate way of thinking that folks give up their 'fight' when they choose to forgo treatment. I just never saw it this way.

I am deeply sorry for your loss but I am glad you are here. You will bring your own unique comfort to others. 

Peace. ~ Cynthia

UncleBuddy

I'm so sorry for your loss!

This is a beautiful picture of you both.

It's not the quantity of time you spent together, but all the love and compassion you had for each other. 

I am a caregiver for my brother and struggle with it everyday. I know more about cancer today than I ever wanted to know...

God bless!

Lin

marbleotis

So sorry for your loss

Janelle,

I am so sorry for your loss.  Zach was very young, he is at peace, free from pain.

What you fit into 16 months of dating and marriage most people do not fit into a lifetime.  You cannot measure quality by a number. 

God does have a plan, please be good to yourself.  We all appreciate you joining!

Please keep posting on how you are doing.  There are alot of people here to lean on for support.

Trubrit

Welcoime Janelle

How brave and strong you are to post here so soon after losing Zach. And the picture/avatar is BEAUTIFUL. 

I feel that Zach is here still, though not in body. I feel his loving, caring spirit still. 

May you find comfort in the coming weeks and months as you learn to live your new reality. And please come visit us here, as your voice, your experience as a caregiver will be of infinite value to others. 

Hugs and blessing.