real or imagined?

twinthings
twinthings Member Posts: 409

I went in for my scans today feeling good and confident.  That faded real fast!

Upon being taken back, the tech asked me if I'd ever had a reaction to contrast before and I told her I had not.  I told her I was not suppose to have contrast today and she said yes you are, that's what the doctor ordered.  So, I asked her to call the doctor's office just to be sure because I was certain he told me there'd be no contrast used.  She called and sure enough his receptionist scheduled it wrong.  Thankfully we caught it and no (potential) harm was done. 

Once the tech got me situated and gave me instructions, she told me she'd be scanning my chest, pelvis and abdomen.  I got all comfy and layed perfectly still, moving only to breathe.  Just when I thought we were done, she came in the room to check on me and tell me what a great job I was doing lying still and that two of the scans were going to be repeated.  Something about the way she said it made me think something was abnormal.  When finished, the tech came back to my side and I swear I saw a look of 'you poor thing' on the her face as she lowered the table and, I instantly felt an overwhelming sense of doom.  I can't decide if the look on her face was real or imagined.  I usually don't ask how things looked because I know that technicians and nurses aren't at liberty to discuss the outcome of tests with patients but thanks to the look on her face, I felt compelled to say something.  So, laying there on my back looking up at her as she's lowering the table, I flash her a big cheesy smile and give her a thumbs up and say "everything look beautiful in my pictures?"  She pauses momentarily, cocks her head to one side and said "lets hope so.  We got everything we needed to get and will send the report to your doctor right away".   I'm pretty sure she had a look of pity in her eyes. 

Since then, I've been a nervous wreck.  Can't seem to get my mind off it.  I'm hoping this glass of liquid therapy in my hand tonight followed by some retail therapy tomorrow and spending Sunday with my grandson will prove to be good distractions till the doctor calls me on Monday. 

 

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Comments

  • Suekub
    Suekub Member Posts: 137
    Hi Sindy

    Hopefully the look of pity is in your imagination! I have had more scans that any one person should have to endure and I never look the technician or nurse in the face after the scan just in case I also see "something" in their eyes. 

    I will continue to keep everything crossed for you.

    Sue

     

  • twinthings
    twinthings Member Posts: 409
    Suekub said:

    Hi Sindy

    Hopefully the look of pity is in your imagination! I have had more scans that any one person should have to endure and I never look the technician or nurse in the face after the scan just in case I also see "something" in their eyes. 

    I will continue to keep everything crossed for you.

    Sue

     

    poker face

    Sue, I think that sounds like good advice.  From now on, I'm not making eye contact with the techs and/or nurses.   Years and years ago I was a registered medical assistant.  While in school I remember several of my instructors put a heavy emphasis on keeping a poker face when dealing with patients.  If my tech today had a poker face I wouldn't be freaking out right now. 

  • icemantoo
    icemantoo Member Posts: 3,361 Member

    poker face

    Sue, I think that sounds like good advice.  From now on, I'm not making eye contact with the techs and/or nurses.   Years and years ago I was a registered medical assistant.  While in school I remember several of my instructors put a heavy emphasis on keeping a poker face when dealing with patients.  If my tech today had a poker face I wouldn't be freaking out right now. 

    There is a name for it.

    Sindy,

     

    Its called scanxiety. While your tech may do these scans often, i will bet that the vast majotity are for people with 2 kidneys. When she sees only 1 kidney on occasion it does not strike her as normal.  Hence she is unsure based upon no facts or evidence that something looks wrong. Now go have that Dirty Banana and forget about this,

     

    Icemantoo

  • twinthings
    twinthings Member Posts: 409
    icemantoo said:

    There is a name for it.

    Sindy,

     

    Its called scanxiety. While your tech may do these scans often, i will bet that the vast majotity are for people with 2 kidneys. When she sees only 1 kidney on occasion it does not strike her as normal.  Hence she is unsure based upon no facts or evidence that something looks wrong. Now go have that Dirty Banana and forget about this,

     

    Icemantoo

    sounds good in theory

    Iceman, I would agree with what you say if the tech had not already established the fact, prior to scanning me, that I have no cervix, uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, appendix, gallbladder or right kidney.  I truly am half the woman I use to be.  Thanks for trying to ease my mind tho!

    I haven't tried the Dirty Banana yet.  Think I'll wait till my cruise, maybe in Haiti or Jamaica...or both Wink

  • Djinnie
    Djinnie Member Posts: 945

    sounds good in theory

    Iceman, I would agree with what you say if the tech had not already established the fact, prior to scanning me, that I have no cervix, uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, appendix, gallbladder or right kidney.  I truly am half the woman I use to be.  Thanks for trying to ease my mind tho!

    I haven't tried the Dirty Banana yet.  Think I'll wait till my cruise, maybe in Haiti or Jamaica...or both Wink

    Hey Twinnie, scans are

    Hey Twinnie, scans are nothing but stressful, we have so many concerns when going through the procedure. We are looking to the Radiologist for any little signs or intonations in their voices. Realistically this is just another day at the office for them. She could have been thinking ' I wish I hadn't put these shoes on this morning, my feet are killing me'. You have no idea where her thoughts were in that moment so I shouldn't read too much into it.

    I will be thinking of you, at least it is not too long to wait. I am sure come Monday you will be like 'Happy Feet':)

     

    Djinnie xx

  • Gordon Charles
    Gordon Charles Member Posts: 91
    A funny thing happened on the way to a nice day.....

    Greetings Ms. Twinthings:    The karma gods must have been in a playful mood yesterday.  I too went for tests on Friday.  CT, MRI, bone scan.  I also had to deal with the contrast-no contrast issue.  Turns out there were different radiologists for the CT and MRI.  Dueling doctors.  I helped them reach the proper decision and we proceeded.  No IV contrast for CT, IV contrast for MRI.  Here I'm afraid our stories diverge.  These are the same techs that 3 years ago when I was having shortness of breath and was sent for a lung CT.  They didn't bat an eye when my lungs turned up full of blood clots from a tumor spitting them out of my right kidney. I had absolutely no idea as I walked down the hall to the dr's office. That walk was closely followed by rushing medical staff, shots of Lovanox and an ambulance ride to the hospital.  My point is:  I would never, EVER play poker with these ladies and I'm sure your techs are just as good.  My only suggestion would be to try to find some male test techs.  Since I'm a disgusting guy, my only memories of yesterday's tests are the deep brown eyes of one tech, and the smooth skin of another as she prepped my arm for the IV.  And of course the soothing sound of a delicate voice through the MRI headphones.  My results are also on Monday and then I go to work. Find some good sales, hug your little buddy and listen to the joy and innocence in his voice.  We are all warriors on this post and while we may have momentary stumbles, we advance together against our enemy and draw strength from each other.  Your doubts are understood and shared by us all and yet we all continue to live until we die and we aren't dead yet.  No Prisoners!

  • Jojo61
    Jojo61 Member Posts: 1,309 Member
    Djinnie said:

    Hey Twinnie, scans are

    Hey Twinnie, scans are nothing but stressful, we have so many concerns when going through the procedure. We are looking to the Radiologist for any little signs or intonations in their voices. Realistically this is just another day at the office for them. She could have been thinking ' I wish I hadn't put these shoes on this morning, my feet are killing me'. You have no idea where her thoughts were in that moment so I shouldn't read too much into it.

    I will be thinking of you, at least it is not too long to wait. I am sure come Monday you will be like 'Happy Feet':)

     

    Djinnie xx

    I am with Djinnie!

    I am hoping she was wearing uncomfortable shoes!

    Try not to fret - hard to do, but it won't change the outcome. I wish you didn't have to wait the weekend. I will be thinking about you. Please keep us posted on the results!

    In the meantime, have some fun - glad you have some planned.

    Hugs,

    Jojo

  • Jojo61
    Jojo61 Member Posts: 1,309 Member

    A funny thing happened on the way to a nice day.....

    Greetings Ms. Twinthings:    The karma gods must have been in a playful mood yesterday.  I too went for tests on Friday.  CT, MRI, bone scan.  I also had to deal with the contrast-no contrast issue.  Turns out there were different radiologists for the CT and MRI.  Dueling doctors.  I helped them reach the proper decision and we proceeded.  No IV contrast for CT, IV contrast for MRI.  Here I'm afraid our stories diverge.  These are the same techs that 3 years ago when I was having shortness of breath and was sent for a lung CT.  They didn't bat an eye when my lungs turned up full of blood clots from a tumor spitting them out of my right kidney. I had absolutely no idea as I walked down the hall to the dr's office. That walk was closely followed by rushing medical staff, shots of Lovanox and an ambulance ride to the hospital.  My point is:  I would never, EVER play poker with these ladies and I'm sure your techs are just as good.  My only suggestion would be to try to find some male test techs.  Since I'm a disgusting guy, my only memories of yesterday's tests are the deep brown eyes of one tech, and the smooth skin of another as she prepped my arm for the IV.  And of course the soothing sound of a delicate voice through the MRI headphones.  My results are also on Monday and then I go to work. Find some good sales, hug your little buddy and listen to the joy and innocence in his voice.  We are all warriors on this post and while we may have momentary stumbles, we advance together against our enemy and draw strength from each other.  Your doubts are understood and shared by us all and yet we all continue to live until we die and we aren't dead yet.  No Prisoners!

    Gordon, you always speak so

    Gordon, you always speak so eoloquently. I always feel rejuvenated and renewed when I read your messages. (and love that all you remember of your scan is the beauty around you - you rock!) Good luck with your results as well. And please let us know how it goes.

    thinking about you!

    Hugs,

    Jojo

  • todd121
    todd121 Member Posts: 1,448 Member
    Maybe it was gas?

    Who knows what goes on in the minds of people! Easy to say, I know.

    I just keep learning the same lesson over and over again, I'm not as good a mind reader as I think I am.

    They almost always think I'm getting contrast when I do my CT (4 this year). I say "No. I'm not." They look confused. I say "My creatinine is 1.6 and my doc says no contrast unless it's under 1.5." Then they say ok. Another thing I've learned this past year, I speak up. I used to be really bad about this, thinking they were the experts and letting them make decisions for me. Now I'm adamant, because I know they make little mistakes, their minds are elsewhere, etc. I'm really just barely on their minds when I'm there.

    How good are those technicians in reading scans? Honestly, I don't know. I'm sure there are certain things they have to look for to make sure they got a good scan, and I suppose they learn a little doing their job, but I think the radiologist is not even in the same room with them.

    I had an MRI of my brain and spine last week, and the ER doc and radiologist decided that something with my spine at C3-C5 might be causing the numbness in my right hand, so the ER doc orders me a type of prednisone. I decided to hold off until I saw the neurologist to take the medication. The neurologist looks at the scan and says, C3-C5 is too high up to affect that nerve. That nerve exits the spine at C7, and your C7 is perfect.

    Point?

    If the ER doc and radiologist make this kind of (what I think must be pretty basic anatomical mistake), you can bet the technicians don't really know what they are looking at. As many surgeries as you've had, you must have a lot of scar tissue. It's probably a challenging read!

    I'm rambling. I hope you can let it go and enjoy the next few days. But I also understand...

    Todd

  • twinthings
    twinthings Member Posts: 409

    A funny thing happened on the way to a nice day.....

    Greetings Ms. Twinthings:    The karma gods must have been in a playful mood yesterday.  I too went for tests on Friday.  CT, MRI, bone scan.  I also had to deal with the contrast-no contrast issue.  Turns out there were different radiologists for the CT and MRI.  Dueling doctors.  I helped them reach the proper decision and we proceeded.  No IV contrast for CT, IV contrast for MRI.  Here I'm afraid our stories diverge.  These are the same techs that 3 years ago when I was having shortness of breath and was sent for a lung CT.  They didn't bat an eye when my lungs turned up full of blood clots from a tumor spitting them out of my right kidney. I had absolutely no idea as I walked down the hall to the dr's office. That walk was closely followed by rushing medical staff, shots of Lovanox and an ambulance ride to the hospital.  My point is:  I would never, EVER play poker with these ladies and I'm sure your techs are just as good.  My only suggestion would be to try to find some male test techs.  Since I'm a disgusting guy, my only memories of yesterday's tests are the deep brown eyes of one tech, and the smooth skin of another as she prepped my arm for the IV.  And of course the soothing sound of a delicate voice through the MRI headphones.  My results are also on Monday and then I go to work. Find some good sales, hug your little buddy and listen to the joy and innocence in his voice.  We are all warriors on this post and while we may have momentary stumbles, we advance together against our enemy and draw strength from each other.  Your doubts are understood and shared by us all and yet we all continue to live until we die and we aren't dead yet.  No Prisoners!

    perfectly put

    Gordon, thanks for the words of wisdom and encouragement.  It sounds like you are one lucky man!  And thank goodness your techs had those poker faces, for had you panicked your situation could have become exponentially worse.  Will be hoping and praying for the best possible results for you on Monday! 

    I had a beautiful young lady tech last Friday and although I could appreciate her beauty, it did nothing to distract me from noticing the look of "bless your heart" on her face.  She seemed a little too compassionate, if that makes sense.  I know now, after much thought and many words from you all that it was likely imagined.  The mind is a beautiful mess!

    From now on, I'll pray for a sexy male nurse with dreamy green eyes with which to get lost in.  Wink

    I'm looking forward to sharing good news with you on Monday, and you with me!!

    Sindy

  • twinthings
    twinthings Member Posts: 409
    todd121 said:

    Maybe it was gas?

    Who knows what goes on in the minds of people! Easy to say, I know.

    I just keep learning the same lesson over and over again, I'm not as good a mind reader as I think I am.

    They almost always think I'm getting contrast when I do my CT (4 this year). I say "No. I'm not." They look confused. I say "My creatinine is 1.6 and my doc says no contrast unless it's under 1.5." Then they say ok. Another thing I've learned this past year, I speak up. I used to be really bad about this, thinking they were the experts and letting them make decisions for me. Now I'm adamant, because I know they make little mistakes, their minds are elsewhere, etc. I'm really just barely on their minds when I'm there.

    How good are those technicians in reading scans? Honestly, I don't know. I'm sure there are certain things they have to look for to make sure they got a good scan, and I suppose they learn a little doing their job, but I think the radiologist is not even in the same room with them.

    I had an MRI of my brain and spine last week, and the ER doc and radiologist decided that something with my spine at C3-C5 might be causing the numbness in my right hand, so the ER doc orders me a type of prednisone. I decided to hold off until I saw the neurologist to take the medication. The neurologist looks at the scan and says, C3-C5 is too high up to affect that nerve. That nerve exits the spine at C7, and your C7 is perfect.

    Point?

    If the ER doc and radiologist make this kind of (what I think must be pretty basic anatomical mistake), you can bet the technicians don't really know what they are looking at. As many surgeries as you've had, you must have a lot of scar tissue. It's probably a challenging read!

    I'm rambling. I hope you can let it go and enjoy the next few days. But I also understand...

    Todd

    scar tissue

    Todd, funny you should mention scar tissue.  Just last night as I'm still obsessing over the techs expression, it occurred to me that I DO have a lot of scar tissue.  Not to mention SO much mesh from 6-7 hernia surgeries.  I don't think I'm any more special than the next patient but I do think I am different than the majority of the belly scans they look at.  I almost had myself believing scar tissue and mesh were likely why tests were repeated and why the tech had that "you poor thing" look on her face. 

    Then today I read your post and I'm thinking it's a sign.  You are absolutely right!!  Your rambling has given me a sense calm, so thank you soooo much!

    By the way, I'm glad to hear your cervical spine is OK.  I'm pending surgery on C5, 6 and 7 to untrap bilaterral pinched nerves, repair a tear that's allowing leakage of fluid, remove a bone spur that's indenting the spinal column and finally, to insert plate and screws to get my c5-6 off each other.  Right now, they are totally collapsed.  Surgery was scheduled but RCC slipped in from nowhere and changed my plans.

    I hope you get to answers to the numbness in your hand soon.

    Thanks again for your words of support!  This place and you people are the best!!!

    Sindy

  • LynninNC
    LynninNC Member Posts: 16

    scar tissue

    Todd, funny you should mention scar tissue.  Just last night as I'm still obsessing over the techs expression, it occurred to me that I DO have a lot of scar tissue.  Not to mention SO much mesh from 6-7 hernia surgeries.  I don't think I'm any more special than the next patient but I do think I am different than the majority of the belly scans they look at.  I almost had myself believing scar tissue and mesh were likely why tests were repeated and why the tech had that "you poor thing" look on her face. 

    Then today I read your post and I'm thinking it's a sign.  You are absolutely right!!  Your rambling has given me a sense calm, so thank you soooo much!

    By the way, I'm glad to hear your cervical spine is OK.  I'm pending surgery on C5, 6 and 7 to untrap bilaterral pinched nerves, repair a tear that's allowing leakage of fluid, remove a bone spur that's indenting the spinal column and finally, to insert plate and screws to get my c5-6 off each other.  Right now, they are totally collapsed.  Surgery was scheduled but RCC slipped in from nowhere and changed my plans.

    I hope you get to answers to the numbness in your hand soon.

    Thanks again for your words of support!  This place and you people are the best!!!

    Sindy

    Tech's casual comment

    Sindy, I had my first CT scan last September because of shortness of breath and a stitch in my side. My GP said she was ordering the scan in abundance of caution beause my BP had been really high at a regular check-up the previous week. I was worried about a lung embolism.    As I was leaving the scan room the tech said to drink a lot of water to clear the contrast and "oh, drink a lot of water to take care of that kidney too". It did not register with me that he had seen something until well after the phone call from my doctor that night saying that there was a cyst on/in my kidney. The next morning the cyst turned into a "cystic mass" and then into a "mass that needed to be removed ASAP". So, sometimes you do not even need to look at the poker faced tech person, you just need to listen carefully!   Since then I have had 5 CT scans and an MRI and am facinated with my interaction with the tech person. I too look for signs of pity and concern!  

  • Gordon Charles
    Gordon Charles Member Posts: 91
    So Dreamy Green Eyes Are The Ticket To Your Heart...

    Sweetest Sindy: Maybe if you could get him to wear a nice T-shirt during the CT you would be in a lovely daze for the rest of the day..

     

  • Djinnie
    Djinnie Member Posts: 945

    So Dreamy Green Eyes Are The Ticket To Your Heart...

    Sweetest Sindy: Maybe if you could get him to wear a nice T-shirt during the CT you would be in a lovely daze for the rest of the day..

     

    Twinnie and Gordon I will be routing for you both today, let us know how you got on soon as!

    All the best:)

    Djinnie xx

  • twinthings
    twinthings Member Posts: 409

    So Dreamy Green Eyes Are The Ticket To Your Heart...

    Sweetest Sindy: Maybe if you could get him to wear a nice T-shirt during the CT you would be in a lovely daze for the rest of the day..

     

    I would no longer dread ct's then, would I?  Kiss

  • twinthings
    twinthings Member Posts: 409
    Djinnie said:

    Twinnie and Gordon I will be routing for you both today, let us know how you got on soon as!

    All the best:)

    Djinnie xx

    Thank you, Djinnie!  It's 2 in the morning and I am sleepless.  What is wrong with me??  You are up late too, no doubt with much on your mind as well.

    I'll update you as soon as I get the good news.  I'm sure the news will be fine.  It has to be.  One thing I know for certain, whatever the case may be, I'll be OK.  I always am.  Now, I'm going to attempt to sleep and pray for an early morning call for both me and Gordon.

    I'm cheering for you too, Gordon!  rah-rah-ree-, kick em in the knee, rah-rah rass, kick em the...well, you get the idea.

    xoxo

  • Gordon Charles
    Gordon Charles Member Posts: 91
    Ladies First.....

    OK Sindy... you go first...

  • Eims
    Eims Member Posts: 423

    Ladies First.....

    OK Sindy... you go first...

    You will both have good

    You will both have good results x

  • Djinnie
    Djinnie Member Posts: 945

    Thank you, Djinnie!  It's 2 in the morning and I am sleepless.  What is wrong with me??  You are up late too, no doubt with much on your mind as well.

    I'll update you as soon as I get the good news.  I'm sure the news will be fine.  It has to be.  One thing I know for certain, whatever the case may be, I'll be OK.  I always am.  Now, I'm going to attempt to sleep and pray for an early morning call for both me and Gordon.

    I'm cheering for you too, Gordon!  rah-rah-ree-, kick em in the knee, rah-rah rass, kick em the...well, you get the idea.

    xoxo

    Here's to a Good Result!!

    Hey Twinnie, I hope you managed to get some shut eye! I wasn't up late, I was up early you are around six hours behind. I was off to my Doctors appointment!

    All the best today:)

     

    Djinnie x

     

  • twinthings
    twinthings Member Posts: 409

    Ladies First.....

    OK Sindy... you go first...

    : (

    Why, thank you but, I didn't get a phone call.  One minute I tell myself it's a good sign, that if there were a problem, they'd have called right away.  The next minute I'm telling myself the doctor just doesn't want to ruin my holiday with bad news.  Good grief...I'm going bazerk!  I will call their office first thing in the morning and pray they aren't closed till after the 1st.  Surely they will be open till at least noon, right? 

    How bout you, Gordon?  I'm counting on you giving us a good report so...go