Medical Dictionary (Play on words) Funny

SIROD

It might have come from this discussion board or another one.  At one time, I kept a file on my computer on posts that made me laugh.

If you haven't read it before or even if you had, it might be fun to read again.

 

MEDICAL DICTIONARY:
Artery...... ......... ......... .. The study of paintings.
Bacteria.... ......... ......... . Back door to cafeteria.
Barium...... ......... ......... What doctors do when patients die.
Benign...... ......... ......... ..What you be, after you be eight.
Caesarean Section..... .....A neighbourhood in Rome .
Catscan..... ......... ......... . Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize... ......... ......... . Made eye contact with her.
Colic....... ......... ......... .... A sheep dog.
Coma........ ......... ......... .. A punctuation mark.
Dilate...... ......... ......... ... To live long.
Enema....... ......... ......... . Not a friend.
Fester...... ......... ......... .. Quicker than someone else.
Fibula...... ......... ......... ... A small lie.
Impotent.... ......... ......... Distinguished, well known.
Labour Pain........ ......... .. Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff....... ......... . A Doctor's cane.
Morbid...... ......... ......... .. A higher offer.
Nitrates.... ......... ......... ... Cheaper than day rates.
Node........ ......... ......... ... I knew it.
Outpatient.. ......... ......... . A person who has fainted.
Pelvis...... ......... ......... .... Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative... ......... ... A letter carrier.
Recovery Room........ ...... Place to do upholstery.
Rectum...... ......... ......... . Nearly killed him.
Secretion... ......... ......... . Hiding something.
Seizure..... ......... ......... .. Roman emperor.
Tablet...... ......... ......... ... A small table.
Terminal Illness..... ........Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour...... ......... ......... . One plus one more.
Urine....... ......... ......... ... Opposite of you're out.

cinnamonsmile

Thanks for the chuckles and

Thanks for the chuckles and grins!!!

VickiSam

cinnamonsmile said:

Thanks for the chuckles and

Thanks for the chuckles and grins!!!

I really enjoyed this --

Thank Doris for Sharing  ...

 

LOL

Alexandra

Medical abbreviations on hospital notes

ABITHAD - Another Blithering Idiot - Thinks He's A Doctor.

ADR - Ain't Doin' Right.

ART - Assuming Room Temperature (recently deceased).

ATSWWT - Always Thinks Something's Wrong With Them.

CTD - Circling The Drain.

DAAD - Dead As A Doornail.

DRT - Dead Right There.

ETK(T)M - Every Test Known To Man.

FDGB - Fall Down Go Boom.

FFFF - Female, Fat, Forty and Flatulent.

FF or FFY - Frequent Flyer - A patient who returns to a medical provider for everything.

FLD - Funny Looking Dad.

FLK - Funny Looking Kid.

FOS - Full Of ... Stool.

FTD - Fixing To Die.

FTF - Failure To Fly.

FLGD - Familial lack of Genetic Diversity.

FTW - Friggin Train Wreck (patient with multiple problems).

GOK - God Only Knows.

GFPO - Good For Parts Only.

GGTG - Gomers Go To Ground (they fall out of bed or gurneys).

GLM - Good Looking Mum.

GOMER - Get Out of My Emergency Room.

GTO - Gomer Tip Over.

HHH - Triple H enema - High, Hot, and a Hell of alot.

LGFD - Looks good from door.

LOLINAD - Little Old Lady In No Acute Distress.

LOLTWO - Little Old Lady Totally Whacked Out.

MFC - Measure For Coffin.

NFS - Normal For Swindon.

O2T - Oxygen Thief.

ODD&DDR - Out 'De Door and Down 'De Road.

PBBB - Pine Box By Bedside.

PIP - Pyjama Induced Paralysis.

PITA - Pain In The A$$.

PJAR - Person Just Ain't Right.

SALT - Same As Last Time.

SNEFS - Sub-Normal Even For Suffolk.

SWAG - Scientific, wild-A$$ Guess.

TBW - Tossed By Wave.

TEETH - Tried Everything Else; Try Homeopathy.

TEON - Two Eyes One Nose.

TMB - Too Many Birthdays.

TOBAS - Take Out Back And Shoot.

TSS - Tinted Specs Positive.

TTGA - Told To Go Away.

TUBE - Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination.

VIPIA - Very Important Pain In the A$$.

WDWNF - Well Developed Well Nourished Female.