Upcoming Doctor Visits

cap630

I have three upcoming doctor visits.  Next week I meet with my surgeon (after the scope I bleed for a few weeks),  October is a CAT Scan, November is with the radiologist.  It seems never ending.  I am 2 years out of treatment and cancer crosses my mind everyday.  Why do the cancer demons dance in my head at 3:00 am?  I have issues with scarring and sensitivity to some foods, and lets not even mention sex.  I am blessed to be alive, but somedays it just gets to be to much.  I try to read the board weekly and have great support through the Livestrong program at the YMCA.  Thanks for listening.  ~Carol

Marynb

Cap
It is hard not to think of cancer because it is so damn stealth! We are all in the same boat. I try to think of all the positive things in my life, but when the medical appointments are approaching, it sure is tough!

Hang in there! All will be well.

mp327

Best Wishes

Cancer is my demon too!  It never leaves me alone.  Being a cancer survivor is exhausting at times.  However, I am thankful for every day, some of which are better than others.  But isn't that normal life?  No doubt that life after cancer has its unique challenges.

I wish you all the best with your upcoming appts.  May all the news be good, which I hope you'll share with all of us here.   

sephie

same here

unfortunately the demons are still here for me also at 4 years post.... i have anoscope on monday...then go for other appts at MDA in october....trying to decide whether to skip mammogram and just get them every 2 years instead of every year.....i have had one every year for over 20 years....... hugs to you.....sephie

eihtak

cap630....

Hi, I am just a little over 2yrs post treatment for anal cancer and a little over 1yr for breast cancer. After treatment we have both visual and emotional reminders (some more than others) daily, of where we've been. It seems that with time they seem to take a back seat to more positive things but never really go away, and maybe thats ok too. Do I wish I never had cancer, of course, YES!!!! but.....for me, I liked who I was on the outside better before cancer, but who I have become or strive to be yet on the inside, is soooooo much better after facing this challenge. I miss my firm abs (now have a colostomy and more difficult to acheive), I miss my breasts (dmx with no reconstruction), the scarring, stenosis, inflamation that haunts us all after pelvic radiation does little for romance, but....my soul is more sensitive to others, more appreciative, less judgemental, more accepting and patient, and my faith in God and the good people He has put in my path is stronger than ever.

As for those 3:00am demons.....they take turns with us all! In one of my support groups it was suggested to journal in the evening, to write down or maybe even post on a site such as this some of those negative thoughts for that day. They (you know the experts who have never been through this), say that if you get it out on paper you are able to clear your mind and sleep?????? I haven't really tried this myself, but think when those thoughts of anxiety are there its pretty difficult to turn them off!

Hope this finds everyone well for today!

cap630

Thank you

Thank you all for responding.  Everything looks better in day light. I get this way before doctor's visits.  Just venting.  I am blessed and thankful each and every day.