Off topic - sorry - except psychological stuff

sandysp

mp327 said:

Sandy

Like you, I do not like it when I cannot do things for myself!  I think we all understand how your thoughts can go to the cancer thing whenever a symptom presents itself.  As much as we resist it, I think cancer re-programs our thinking along those lines.  I used to be one of those "walk it off" kind of people.  I never worried about any ache or pain until it was unbearable, then only maybe!  Times are different post-cancer. 

Thank goodness you have your wonderful husband to help you out and give you a hand (literally!) when you need it.  I think your need for rest is your body's way of slowing you down and attempting to repair itself.  Sometimes rest is best!

Take care, my sweet friend, and keep us posted on how you are getting along.  Hugs! 

Update

I called my Oncologist at MSK and she said since the diagnosis is not completed, they will run tests there. So they are scheduling another MRI. I think they know that when you are a two timer Cancer survivor, this worry is hard on your nerves and therefore your health and it's best to just double check even though the first MRI said my brain (ha, ha!) was normal. She says they will be looking beyond where the first MRI focused.

Anyway, knowing is just so much better than not knowing. If they do this test, I will feel like I can put this rare bone metatasis thing which happens about 7 times a year internationally is not happening to me. Most cases like mine are idiopathic and people just have to learn to adjust. I just think it may be a little easier to adjust after a month of being sick and not being to be able to do simple chores or drive for a month if I weren't at the two year anniversary of the last tx (August 15th) when the symptoms of dizziness are gone but how do I know how much the concern of being really sick is affecting me?

Anyway, I have learned humility one more time, which for me is not a bad lesson to learn.

Thanks for all your support. I sang a Bach aria (The Pentacost) last week and will sing again the next two Sundays (great arrangements of "He's got the whole world in his hands" (Margaret Bonds) and "Take My Life and Let it Be." Harry Huff. I am getting used to being a one eared singer! I think there is a gift there, to tell you the truth. It's like part of my brain is turned off along with that ear and it was a part that held me back anyway. I am far more assertive and feel very happy when I get back to it and am finding that the one ear thing is tolerable. If I can just get back to feeling unafraid and well again, I think I can learn to live with the handicap.

We have faced a lot worse together.

 

Sincerely,

Sandy

Marynb

sandysp said:

Update

I called my Oncologist at MSK and she said since the diagnosis is not completed, they will run tests there. So they are scheduling another MRI. I think they know that when you are a two timer Cancer survivor, this worry is hard on your nerves and therefore your health and it's best to just double check even though the first MRI said my brain (ha, ha!) was normal. She says they will be looking beyond where the first MRI focused.

Anyway, knowing is just so much better than not knowing. If they do this test, I will feel like I can put this rare bone metatasis thing which happens about 7 times a year internationally is not happening to me. Most cases like mine are idiopathic and people just have to learn to adjust. I just think it may be a little easier to adjust after a month of being sick and not being to be able to do simple chores or drive for a month if I weren't at the two year anniversary of the last tx (August 15th) when the symptoms of dizziness are gone but how do I know how much the concern of being really sick is affecting me?

Anyway, I have learned humility one more time, which for me is not a bad lesson to learn.

Thanks for all your support. I sang a Bach aria (The Pentacost) last week and will sing again the next two Sundays (great arrangements of "He's got the whole world in his hands" (Margaret Bonds) and "Take My Life and Let it Be." Harry Huff. I am getting used to being a one eared singer! I think there is a gift there, to tell you the truth. It's like part of my brain is turned off along with that ear and it was a part that held me back anyway. I am far more assertive and feel very happy when I get back to it and am finding that the one ear thing is tolerable. If I can just get back to feeling unafraid and well again, I think I can learn to live with the handicap.

We have faced a lot worse together.

 

Sincerely,

Sandy

Sandy
I am so glad that you are able to sing. Doing what you love to do is the best medicine! The uncertainty is so tough, but you are tougher. You have been through so much and have weathered every storm. I will keep you in my prayers that there is no cancer causing your symptoms! I wish I could hear yiou sing! I hope you feel better very soon!

mp327

sandysp said:

Update

I called my Oncologist at MSK and she said since the diagnosis is not completed, they will run tests there. So they are scheduling another MRI. I think they know that when you are a two timer Cancer survivor, this worry is hard on your nerves and therefore your health and it's best to just double check even though the first MRI said my brain (ha, ha!) was normal. She says they will be looking beyond where the first MRI focused.

Anyway, knowing is just so much better than not knowing. If they do this test, I will feel like I can put this rare bone metatasis thing which happens about 7 times a year internationally is not happening to me. Most cases like mine are idiopathic and people just have to learn to adjust. I just think it may be a little easier to adjust after a month of being sick and not being to be able to do simple chores or drive for a month if I weren't at the two year anniversary of the last tx (August 15th) when the symptoms of dizziness are gone but how do I know how much the concern of being really sick is affecting me?

Anyway, I have learned humility one more time, which for me is not a bad lesson to learn.

Thanks for all your support. I sang a Bach aria (The Pentacost) last week and will sing again the next two Sundays (great arrangements of "He's got the whole world in his hands" (Margaret Bonds) and "Take My Life and Let it Be." Harry Huff. I am getting used to being a one eared singer! I think there is a gift there, to tell you the truth. It's like part of my brain is turned off along with that ear and it was a part that held me back anyway. I am far more assertive and feel very happy when I get back to it and am finding that the one ear thing is tolerable. If I can just get back to feeling unafraid and well again, I think I can learn to live with the handicap.

We have faced a lot worse together.

 

Sincerely,

Sandy

Hi Sandy!

I'm so glad to hear that you are singing and seem to be coping just fine with the hearing loss!  I wish I could hear you sing sometime!  I hope getting the additional tests will put your mind at ease and allow you to get past the concerns you've had about possible metastasis. 

You are nearing your 2-year anniversary and that's great.  I really felt like I turned the corner for good when I got to 2 years.  I felt like my old self again.  I hope that will be the case for you too! 

Take care, sweet friend, and let us know how the tests go.  I will be praying for you!

Angela_K

sandysp said:

Update

I called my Oncologist at MSK and she said since the diagnosis is not completed, they will run tests there. So they are scheduling another MRI. I think they know that when you are a two timer Cancer survivor, this worry is hard on your nerves and therefore your health and it's best to just double check even though the first MRI said my brain (ha, ha!) was normal. She says they will be looking beyond where the first MRI focused.

Anyway, knowing is just so much better than not knowing. If they do this test, I will feel like I can put this rare bone metatasis thing which happens about 7 times a year internationally is not happening to me. Most cases like mine are idiopathic and people just have to learn to adjust. I just think it may be a little easier to adjust after a month of being sick and not being to be able to do simple chores or drive for a month if I weren't at the two year anniversary of the last tx (August 15th) when the symptoms of dizziness are gone but how do I know how much the concern of being really sick is affecting me?

Anyway, I have learned humility one more time, which for me is not a bad lesson to learn.

Thanks for all your support. I sang a Bach aria (The Pentacost) last week and will sing again the next two Sundays (great arrangements of "He's got the whole world in his hands" (Margaret Bonds) and "Take My Life and Let it Be." Harry Huff. I am getting used to being a one eared singer! I think there is a gift there, to tell you the truth. It's like part of my brain is turned off along with that ear and it was a part that held me back anyway. I am far more assertive and feel very happy when I get back to it and am finding that the one ear thing is tolerable. If I can just get back to feeling unafraid and well again, I think I can learn to live with the handicap.

We have faced a lot worse together.

 

Sincerely,

Sandy

Catching up

Having been away from this site for awhile  I missed your original post back in June.  You face your challenges so beautifully, Sandy.  As a singer myself I can only imagine your initial fear. I am delighted that you have found the gift within your hearing loss and I do hope that you share your talent with us here someday by posting a video or recording of one of your performances!  I am working on a 'girl project' for the inaugural International Blues Music Day involving six local female vocalists highlighting the music of Bessie Smith, Billie Holiday, Memphis Minnie, Big Mama Thornton, Bonnie Raitt and more.  Music heals.

God bless.

love,

Angela

sandysp

Angela_K said:

Catching up

Having been away from this site for awhile  I missed your original post back in June.  You face your challenges so beautifully, Sandy.  As a singer myself I can only imagine your initial fear. I am delighted that you have found the gift within your hearing loss and I do hope that you share your talent with us here someday by posting a video or recording of one of your performances!  I am working on a 'girl project' for the inaugural International Blues Music Day involving six local female vocalists highlighting the music of Bessie Smith, Billie Holiday, Memphis Minnie, Big Mama Thornton, Bonnie Raitt and more.  Music heals.

God bless.

love,

Angela

That is so cool!

I love all those singers! Good luck and have fun!

Love,

Sandy