Need simple crafty ideas to honor breast cancer survivor

TraciInLA
TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member

One of the longtime members of our church, a breast cancer survivor, passed away on Thursday evening.  Sue was quite elderly and had a number of health problems, so I'm not sure whether her breast cancer had metastasized, or if it was because of another health problem.

Many of you know that I'm our church's Memorial Service Coordinator, and her service is being planned for early August.  I'd like to make a small, simple...something...to display at her service to remember her survivorship, from me as a fellow breast cancer survivor.  Perhaps a small centerpiece incorporating pink ribbons on the reception table, that kind of thing, but I have no idea what or how.

I am the LEAST crafty person you will ever meet, so my thumbs and I would welcome any ideas any of you may have seen.  Just a simple something to remind folks that breast cancer was a part of Sue's life.

Any suggestions are most welcome,

Traci

 

 

Comments

  • coco2008
    coco2008 Member Posts: 418
    Not sure what you could do,

    Not sure what you could do, but will put my brain to work on it.

  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member

    Recently, one of my daughter's friend wove a prayer flag for me.  Forget that because I know, if you are like me, you don't know how to weave!

    However, what brought me as much joy as the flag, is the fact that it is decorated with mementos of whatever my friends and family felt might be meaningful to me (or bring me strength).

    Maybe you could also ask others to contribute something meaningful to the centerpiece?  I don't know how much time that you have and if that is too much, but I do know that whatever you do will be beautiful and meaningful.  Love ya!

  • coco2008
    coco2008 Member Posts: 418

    Recently, one of my daughter's friend wove a prayer flag for me.  Forget that because I know, if you are like me, you don't know how to weave!

    However, what brought me as much joy as the flag, is the fact that it is decorated with mementos of whatever my friends and family felt might be meaningful to me (or bring me strength).

    Maybe you could also ask others to contribute something meaningful to the centerpiece?  I don't know how much time that you have and if that is too much, but I do know that whatever you do will be beautiful and meaningful.  Love ya!

    You might get a quilt with

    You might get a quilt with large areas of light colored solid fabric.  Then with a fine point laundry marker you and her other friends could write memories or thoughts about your friend like CypressCynyhia talked about.  After the service you can present this to her family.  No sewing or other talents needed.

  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    coco2008 said:

    You might get a quilt with

    You might get a quilt with large areas of light colored solid fabric.  Then with a fine point laundry marker you and her other friends could write memories or thoughts about your friend like CypressCynyhia talked about.  After the service you can present this to her family.  No sewing or other talents needed.

    I really like the quilt

    I really like the quilt idea.  I don't know if having sweets on a table is appropriate for the service but if it is here is an idea my sister used.  She got a heart shaped glass jar, put breast cancer ribbons (stickers) on it, and filled it with assorted pink jelly belly candies.   You could write a note to put by it Saying that the candies are in remembrance of how sweet she was and the jar represents her kind heart, the breast cancer ribbons would speak for themselves.  I'm not very crafty or artsy so that's about it from me.   

  • lintx
    lintx Member Posts: 697
    Hi Traci

     

    So nice to see your smiling faceSmile  I love your centerpiece idea w/pink ribbons. It would be the first thing people see, as they enter.  Sue would appreciate any effort made on her behalf. Linda

  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    lintx said:

    Hi Traci

     

    So nice to see your smiling faceSmile  I love your centerpiece idea w/pink ribbons. It would be the first thing people see, as they enter.  Sue would appreciate any effort made on her behalf. Linda

    A little more about this service...

    Thank you all so much for your suggestions...please keep 'em coming!

    It's interesting that several of you have suggested that I ask Sue's friends to participate....unfortunately, I'm afraid this will be one of the smaller services I've coordinated, as many of Sue's friends have already passed on.  She does have some family, including an adult granddaughter whose accomplishments she bragged about constantly (as any proud grandma should!), so there will be some family there.

    And, to be honest, Sue could be a very prickly, negative person (long before cancer), and was not terribly well-liked.  After I was diagnosed, Sue was eager to tell me repeatedly that "breast cancer loves to travel," and how I was probably going to die from it.  Yes, quite a ray of sunshine, that lady! Smile  I think that's part of why I want to do something for her -- because I know there won't be very many other people who will want to.

    I like Stef's idea about doing something with a candy jar -- that's about my level of "craftiness" -- but I might have to leave out the part about her being "sweet." Surprised

    Traci

     

     

     

  • coco2008
    coco2008 Member Posts: 418
    TraciInLA said:

    A little more about this service...

    Thank you all so much for your suggestions...please keep 'em coming!

    It's interesting that several of you have suggested that I ask Sue's friends to participate....unfortunately, I'm afraid this will be one of the smaller services I've coordinated, as many of Sue's friends have already passed on.  She does have some family, including an adult granddaughter whose accomplishments she bragged about constantly (as any proud grandma should!), so there will be some family there.

    And, to be honest, Sue could be a very prickly, negative person (long before cancer), and was not terribly well-liked.  After I was diagnosed, Sue was eager to tell me repeatedly that "breast cancer loves to travel," and how I was probably going to die from it.  Yes, quite a ray of sunshine, that lady! Smile  I think that's part of why I want to do something for her -- because I know there won't be very many other people who will want to.

    I like Stef's idea about doing something with a candy jar -- that's about my level of "craftiness" -- but I might have to leave out the part about her being "sweet." Surprised

    Traci

     

     

     

    You are a good person to

    You are a good person to befriend such a prickly person, especially with her comments about your cancer.

    You might want to fill the jar with sweet tarts and decorate it with pink hearts and/or ribbons and a label that says, ''In Remembrance of _______"

    A sweet rembrance of your friend.

     

    Bless you

    Sandy

     

  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    TraciInLA said:

    A little more about this service...

    Thank you all so much for your suggestions...please keep 'em coming!

    It's interesting that several of you have suggested that I ask Sue's friends to participate....unfortunately, I'm afraid this will be one of the smaller services I've coordinated, as many of Sue's friends have already passed on.  She does have some family, including an adult granddaughter whose accomplishments she bragged about constantly (as any proud grandma should!), so there will be some family there.

    And, to be honest, Sue could be a very prickly, negative person (long before cancer), and was not terribly well-liked.  After I was diagnosed, Sue was eager to tell me repeatedly that "breast cancer loves to travel," and how I was probably going to die from it.  Yes, quite a ray of sunshine, that lady! Smile  I think that's part of why I want to do something for her -- because I know there won't be very many other people who will want to.

    I like Stef's idea about doing something with a candy jar -- that's about my level of "craftiness" -- but I might have to leave out the part about her being "sweet." Surprised

    Traci

     

     

     

    Perhaps a picture frame with

    Perhaps a picture frame with a picture of her and around it stickers of things she liked to do.  For me, it would have horses, dogs, gardening, crocheting/tatting,, fishing/flyfishing but she would prob bly be very different but gives an idea.  Personally I would not want to be remembered for IBC - but for who/what I was.  I'm sure that my family feels the same (we've talked about it) - IBC is but one part of my life and does not identify me.  I hope I was able to express my thoughts coherently - the written word sometimes doesn't.

    Winyan - The Power Within

    Susan

  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    TraciInLA said:

    A little more about this service...

    Thank you all so much for your suggestions...please keep 'em coming!

    It's interesting that several of you have suggested that I ask Sue's friends to participate....unfortunately, I'm afraid this will be one of the smaller services I've coordinated, as many of Sue's friends have already passed on.  She does have some family, including an adult granddaughter whose accomplishments she bragged about constantly (as any proud grandma should!), so there will be some family there.

    And, to be honest, Sue could be a very prickly, negative person (long before cancer), and was not terribly well-liked.  After I was diagnosed, Sue was eager to tell me repeatedly that "breast cancer loves to travel," and how I was probably going to die from it.  Yes, quite a ray of sunshine, that lady! Smile  I think that's part of why I want to do something for her -- because I know there won't be very many other people who will want to.

    I like Stef's idea about doing something with a candy jar -- that's about my level of "craftiness" -- but I might have to leave out the part about her being "sweet." Surprised

    Traci

     

     

     

    OOPS - DDP

    Dreaded Double Post!

  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    Rague said:

    OOPS - DDP

    Dreaded Double Post!

    I don't know

    I've been pondering this, Traci, and as I've gotten older, I've attended lots of memorial services.   I don't think I've ever seen anything that symbolizes what the person died of of any of the ailments s/he encountered during his/her lifeteime, but always something about how they lived and loved. Something the person would have loved.  If she was active in the breast cancer community, then I do see that as part of her life's works, but if it was only disease she had and was a small part of her life, I just don't know.  Families often ask for memorial contributions to specific causes, often the disease that killed their loved one, and eulogies often include that part of the deceased person's life, but I'm not sure how I feel about any "decorations".  If pink was her favorite color, then that theme might be appropriate.

    The other thing that comes up is if you will be setting a precedent for future services by doing something breast cancer related (albeit subtle)?  The next service you coordinate, will you be expected to have a heart centerpiee or wear a red dress?

    These are just my thoughts.  As awful as breast cancer is, I admit that I have a real issue with a lot of the pink things and I'm biased.  Maybe this would be well received.   It is definitely a sweet thought/gesture of yours (especially since she was such a sour pickle).

    Suzanne

     

  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    coco2008 said:

    You are a good person to

    You are a good person to befriend such a prickly person, especially with her comments about your cancer.

    You might want to fill the jar with sweet tarts and decorate it with pink hearts and/or ribbons and a label that says, ''In Remembrance of _______"

    A sweet rembrance of your friend.

     

    Bless you

    Sandy

     

    I like the sweet tarts.  It

    I like the sweet tarts.  It would be unstated but a reflection of her personality.  I think that you are very kind to do this.  I think that the prickly ones really need someone to take that step forward and help to honor them.  We have all know or maybe are related to a prickly person.  I think the saddest thing is that they miss out on so much.  You are a truly kind and caring gal.  And I thought you should know that I can give you a run for your money on the least crafty person.  I can, though, steal good ideas (that are super simple) and make them my own.  I am also very good at getting friends and family to help me create.   I am, though, very good at helping with a project as long as someone gives me directions.

     

  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member

    I don't know

    I've been pondering this, Traci, and as I've gotten older, I've attended lots of memorial services.   I don't think I've ever seen anything that symbolizes what the person died of of any of the ailments s/he encountered during his/her lifeteime, but always something about how they lived and loved. Something the person would have loved.  If she was active in the breast cancer community, then I do see that as part of her life's works, but if it was only disease she had and was a small part of her life, I just don't know.  Families often ask for memorial contributions to specific causes, often the disease that killed their loved one, and eulogies often include that part of the deceased person's life, but I'm not sure how I feel about any "decorations".  If pink was her favorite color, then that theme might be appropriate.

    The other thing that comes up is if you will be setting a precedent for future services by doing something breast cancer related (albeit subtle)?  The next service you coordinate, will you be expected to have a heart centerpiee or wear a red dress?

    These are just my thoughts.  As awful as breast cancer is, I admit that I have a real issue with a lot of the pink things and I'm biased.  Maybe this would be well received.   It is definitely a sweet thought/gesture of yours (especially since she was such a sour pickle).

    Suzanne

     

    You all have such wonderful ideas and input!

    Reading through these comments, I'm reminded for at least the 3,481st time how fortunate I am to be a part of this CSN community, and you're right, Stef -- it's a shame that Sue would have missed out on a community like this.

    Sandy, your sweet tarts idea is inspired!!  I don't think I'd have to say a word about them for folks who knew Sue to get the symbolism.

    Susan and Suzanne -- I totally agree with your thoughts about not making breast cancer the focus of the service.  Our memorial services are always called "A Celebration of Life," which is exactly what we try to do.  Sue's being a breast cancer survivor will likely just be very briefly mentioned during her eulogy, but probably no more than that.  

    The service will take place in our sanctuary, with a small reception afterwards in a different room, where there will be several tables set up for snacks and drinks.  That's why my thought was just to have a small token centerpiece (like Stef's candy jar idea) on just one of the tables -- definitely NOT some big display or pink ribbon theme, or anything at all in the sanctuary.

    I guess part of why this is important to me is I keep thinking about another woman named Mary, whose memorial service I did last year.  Mary was so proud that she'd been cancer-free for 18 years, and I know being a breast cancer survivor was important to her.  At her service, I spoke briefly about the sweet encouragement she gave me after I was diagnosed, and several people afterwards said, oh yeah -- she had breast cancer, didn't she?  Like they had forgotten.  But I know Mary hadn't forgotten!  So I think that's still fresh in my mind.

    Again, I love this discussion, and all your input!

    Traci

  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    TraciInLA said:

    You all have such wonderful ideas and input!

    Reading through these comments, I'm reminded for at least the 3,481st time how fortunate I am to be a part of this CSN community, and you're right, Stef -- it's a shame that Sue would have missed out on a community like this.

    Sandy, your sweet tarts idea is inspired!!  I don't think I'd have to say a word about them for folks who knew Sue to get the symbolism.

    Susan and Suzanne -- I totally agree with your thoughts about not making breast cancer the focus of the service.  Our memorial services are always called "A Celebration of Life," which is exactly what we try to do.  Sue's being a breast cancer survivor will likely just be very briefly mentioned during her eulogy, but probably no more than that.  

    The service will take place in our sanctuary, with a small reception afterwards in a different room, where there will be several tables set up for snacks and drinks.  That's why my thought was just to have a small token centerpiece (like Stef's candy jar idea) on just one of the tables -- definitely NOT some big display or pink ribbon theme, or anything at all in the sanctuary.

    I guess part of why this is important to me is I keep thinking about another woman named Mary, whose memorial service I did last year.  Mary was so proud that she'd been cancer-free for 18 years, and I know being a breast cancer survivor was important to her.  At her service, I spoke briefly about the sweet encouragement she gave me after I was diagnosed, and several people afterwards said, oh yeah -- she had breast cancer, didn't she?  Like they had forgotten.  But I know Mary hadn't forgotten!  So I think that's still fresh in my mind.

    Again, I love this discussion, and all your input!

    Traci

    Traci, I think you are a

    Traci, I think you are a doll!!!!  You do all this for a very cranky lady who sounds difficult at best?  I love you and your sweet spirit!!!

  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    TraciInLA said:

    You all have such wonderful ideas and input!

    Reading through these comments, I'm reminded for at least the 3,481st time how fortunate I am to be a part of this CSN community, and you're right, Stef -- it's a shame that Sue would have missed out on a community like this.

    Sandy, your sweet tarts idea is inspired!!  I don't think I'd have to say a word about them for folks who knew Sue to get the symbolism.

    Susan and Suzanne -- I totally agree with your thoughts about not making breast cancer the focus of the service.  Our memorial services are always called "A Celebration of Life," which is exactly what we try to do.  Sue's being a breast cancer survivor will likely just be very briefly mentioned during her eulogy, but probably no more than that.  

    The service will take place in our sanctuary, with a small reception afterwards in a different room, where there will be several tables set up for snacks and drinks.  That's why my thought was just to have a small token centerpiece (like Stef's candy jar idea) on just one of the tables -- definitely NOT some big display or pink ribbon theme, or anything at all in the sanctuary.

    I guess part of why this is important to me is I keep thinking about another woman named Mary, whose memorial service I did last year.  Mary was so proud that she'd been cancer-free for 18 years, and I know being a breast cancer survivor was important to her.  At her service, I spoke briefly about the sweet encouragement she gave me after I was diagnosed, and several people afterwards said, oh yeah -- she had breast cancer, didn't she?  Like they had forgotten.  But I know Mary hadn't forgotten!  So I think that's still fresh in my mind.

    Again, I love this discussion, and all your input!

    Traci

    I think you are right on

    I think you are right on target with including something that reflected she had breast cancer.  It was part of her life and she fought it and faced it.  I think that other survivors of any cancer would like to see her cancer acknowledged.  And yes, many people who aren't close and some who are do forget that someone has fought this battle.  It's no different that mentioning that someone overcame complications from diabetes, stroke, heart attack.  Our lives are full of ups and downs and I know that I would want both mentioned at a Celebration of Life for me.  And like your other lady, Mary, the survivor doesn't forget what they battled.  And I thought exactly the same thing about sweet tarts, people who really knew her will get it and enjoy the underlying humor.  The rest will just enjoy a little treat.  I think something small is a good idea.  Maybe just a nice open jar with a single small pink ribbon on it.  Again, I think you are so sweet to do this.  But then I always knew you were a gem. 

     

  • As an aspiring cranky-pants

    You might find a variety of Frisbees and balls that have found their way into this woman's yard or rooftop from which you might assemble a lovely wreath with the use of a hot glue gun, just saying.

    But if you are truly as craft-impaired as you assert, I like the jar idea, Target sells a nice gallon-size, for decoration only, Ball jar.  You might unwind about a yard of 1" pink ribbon from Michael's and loosely pack the jar.  Along side the jar have some colorful 3" x 3" notes, pens, and sign asking people to jot down memories of Sue to "PERSERVE" the memories.  Everyone is invited to contribute, there's an element of catharsis, and the jar can be given to the family. 

    Traci, you are a sweetheart to want to contribute a thoughtful and personalized tribute to this woman.

  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member

    As an aspiring cranky-pants

    You might find a variety of Frisbees and balls that have found their way into this woman's yard or rooftop from which you might assemble a lovely wreath with the use of a hot glue gun, just saying.

    But if you are truly as craft-impaired as you assert, I like the jar idea, Target sells a nice gallon-size, for decoration only, Ball jar.  You might unwind about a yard of 1" pink ribbon from Michael's and loosely pack the jar.  Along side the jar have some colorful 3" x 3" notes, pens, and sign asking people to jot down memories of Sue to "PERSERVE" the memories.  Everyone is invited to contribute, there's an element of catharsis, and the jar can be given to the family. 

    Traci, you are a sweetheart to want to contribute a thoughtful and personalized tribute to this woman.

    Yellow One!

    I was just looking at candy jars at the West Hills Target this morning, after I read Stef's suggestion....was that you hiding behind the toilet-paper display behind me? Laughing

    I LOVE your idea about "preserving memories," and am definitely filing that away for a future memorial service.  For this service, my gut tells me there just may not be enough people there with enough to say about Sue, and having a half-empty jar might make her family feel worse, not better.  I hope I'm wrong, and that I find out as folks talk about her that there was more to Sue than just telling me I was going to die.

    BTW, my partner Trace and I were talking about Sue over dinner, and I didn't know that, soon after I was diagnosed, Trace took Sue "out behind the barn," so to speak, and let her have it for being so negative with me.  She said Sue was shocked, and just said "But all I'm telling her is the truth."  I don't think Sue meant to be mean -- she just saw the world very bleakly, and was pretty clueless about how her words made others feel.

    Traci

  • Clementine_P
    Clementine_P Member Posts: 518 Member
    TraciInLA said:

    You all have such wonderful ideas and input!

    Reading through these comments, I'm reminded for at least the 3,481st time how fortunate I am to be a part of this CSN community, and you're right, Stef -- it's a shame that Sue would have missed out on a community like this.

    Sandy, your sweet tarts idea is inspired!!  I don't think I'd have to say a word about them for folks who knew Sue to get the symbolism.

    Susan and Suzanne -- I totally agree with your thoughts about not making breast cancer the focus of the service.  Our memorial services are always called "A Celebration of Life," which is exactly what we try to do.  Sue's being a breast cancer survivor will likely just be very briefly mentioned during her eulogy, but probably no more than that.  

    The service will take place in our sanctuary, with a small reception afterwards in a different room, where there will be several tables set up for snacks and drinks.  That's why my thought was just to have a small token centerpiece (like Stef's candy jar idea) on just one of the tables -- definitely NOT some big display or pink ribbon theme, or anything at all in the sanctuary.

    I guess part of why this is important to me is I keep thinking about another woman named Mary, whose memorial service I did last year.  Mary was so proud that she'd been cancer-free for 18 years, and I know being a breast cancer survivor was important to her.  At her service, I spoke briefly about the sweet encouragement she gave me after I was diagnosed, and several people afterwards said, oh yeah -- she had breast cancer, didn't she?  Like they had forgotten.  But I know Mary hadn't forgotten!  So I think that's still fresh in my mind.

    Again, I love this discussion, and all your input!

    Traci

    Traci

    You are such a thoughtful and caring person!  This woman sounds like she was pretty prickly in general and not a very nice person to you in particular.  Still you are doing this for her.  Bravo!

    I think I could possibly rival you for the least creative person around (don't even get me started on my lack of artistic ability too!) so I don't have any suggestions for you.  I just wanted to send some accolades your way for doing this.

    Clementine

  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member

    Traci

    You are such a thoughtful and caring person!  This woman sounds like she was pretty prickly in general and not a very nice person to you in particular.  Still you are doing this for her.  Bravo!

    I think I could possibly rival you for the least creative person around (don't even get me started on my lack of artistic ability too!) so I don't have any suggestions for you.  I just wanted to send some accolades your way for doing this.

    Clementine

    Me vs. Stef vs. Clementine

    The battle for the title of Least Crafty Person is on!

    OK ladies, let me ask you:  When you were going through chemo, were you able to wear scarves?  Because I've never had a hope in h-e-you-know-where of tying a scarf on my head, before or after chemo!  

    Come to think of it, I've never even worn a scarf anywhere on my body -- I buy them, then spend 20 minutes in front of the mirror trying to tie them, before giving up in frustration and throwing them across the room!

    Yell Traci

     

  • Clementine_P
    Clementine_P Member Posts: 518 Member
    TraciInLA said:

    Me vs. Stef vs. Clementine

    The battle for the title of Least Crafty Person is on!

    OK ladies, let me ask you:  When you were going through chemo, were you able to wear scarves?  Because I've never had a hope in h-e-you-know-where of tying a scarf on my head, before or after chemo!  

    Come to think of it, I've never even worn a scarf anywhere on my body -- I buy them, then spend 20 minutes in front of the mirror trying to tie them, before giving up in frustration and throwing them across the room!

    Yell Traci

     

    Scarves

    Okay, I am in this one and I actually think I have a chance of winning.  YES, I wore scarves all the time when I was on chemo BUT, they were pre-tied head scarves!  The only way I would be able to tie a scarf by myself would be to employ a shoelace tieing technique that I can barely do to this day (yay for loafers!).  I can only imagine how fabulous I would look with a shoelace knot on my head scarf!  Well, at least the scarf likely would stay in place.

    :)

    Clem