Mother starting chemo tomorrow - how to be supportive?

vafabiani

Hi all - my mother was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in March. After her hysterectomy in April, it was discovered that part of her specimen has serous cells. Fast foward to today, the day before her first chemo appointment and I've been very finding it very hard to get my mom to talk about how she's feeling. In general, she has never showed a huge amount of emotion but my biggest fear is that she is holding all of these thoughts and feeling in and one day she'll breakdown while she's home. She lives alone....I recently got married but my mom and I have an amazing relationship and so I see her about 2-3 times a week. Anyone faced similar issues? Any thoughts on how to combat these walls she puts up? I'm here for her 100% but just want to do more....please help.

 

mzlisaj

Hello

My mom just had her first chemo last week and like your mom, she was closed up and not expressing her feelings on what she was about to go through.  I now know that she was afraid.  She was trying to prepare herself for all the horrible things that she heard about chemo treatment.  After she got it, she opened up and told me all about the experience.  She has been lucky in that the treatment didn't make her nauseated and she hasnt vomitted once so far.  I could tell when she wasn't feeling her best though, because she would get quiet again and become introverted and when she felt better, she'd talk and come back around.  We as caregivers are hurting for our moms, but we have no clue the toll that this is taking on them mentally or physically.  So, from my little experience thus far, I'd say just be there for her,  when she is ready to open up, she will.  She is probably afraid and doesnt want to express that to you because she's your mom and doesnt want to worry you.