For the Newbies/comments on OLD threads

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Comments

  • wawaju04976
    wawaju04976 Member Posts: 316 Member
    #22
    Perhaps if someone knows

    Perhaps if someone knows someone has passed away, they can post on that person's thread that the person has passed. Then s/he can recommend to anyone posting regarding the issue on the thread to start a new thread.

    Judy

  • wawaju04976
    wawaju04976 Member Posts: 316 Member
    #23
    LazrTekr said:

    My experience as a recent "Newbie".

    This exact thing happened to me last night. Awake, in pain from chemo and searching for help. I ran across a thread, via google, when searching side effects of chemo  and avastine. In my "fog", as you so perfectly described, I didn't see the date but decided to join (first site I decided to join in the 6 months I've been reading them) and created an account and posted to the thread. I was then replied to by an admin(?), and unfortunately, like the other poster to this thread, it almost felt like an admonishment rather than a informative eeply to my post. It was short in tone (email tone) and stated i need to look at the dates and that many people on the thread had died, including the original poster. This also did not feel "right". I, as a stage 4a cancer patient, do not need to be treated like that and told such things in such a callous manner! . No "welcome to the site", no "let me give you some tips", just a very cold and unfeeling admonishment for my post!It was quite disconcerting to say the least

     At this time, I am second guessing my decision on this site. I find the posts informative and the users to be very helpful and knowledgeable, and I like the information and resources it offers, but if the administration is going to be so callous, it makes me think I should continue to search for another site?

     Just my experience as a "Newbie" who was just trying to wade through this hell called CANCER!

     Brian

    Very sorry Brian that you had

    Very sorry Brian that you had that response. I, too, hope you reported this to the moderator. I have only been on here since December and it is a very helpful forum. Do not let someone feel like you have done anything wrong. I have found this forum almost a lifesaver. I have learned that, other than a couple of people on here, most a very thoughtful and don't hold grudges, pass judgment, etc. Please stay on, you will learn a long!!!

    Judy

  • Aud
    Aud Member Posts: 479 Member
    #24
    Just want to add:  I think

    Just want to add:  I think that those who respond to old threads are either too upset to notice the dates or not knowledgeable about such things.  It is helpful to gently inform and educate those who have inadvertently posted on old threads. 

    And Marie, I could certainly understand your pain. 

    For me, reading Jennie's old post brought a tear and a smile; she was just so darn funny too!

    Let's open our hearts to compassion for those who are grieving and for those who are learning to navigate these uncharted waters, for them.  (though we who have some experience can help with their journey.)

     

  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #25
    LazrTekr said:

    My experience as a recent "Newbie".

    This exact thing happened to me last night. Awake, in pain from chemo and searching for help. I ran across a thread, via google, when searching side effects of chemo  and avastine. In my "fog", as you so perfectly described, I didn't see the date but decided to join (first site I decided to join in the 6 months I've been reading them) and created an account and posted to the thread. I was then replied to by an admin(?), and unfortunately, like the other poster to this thread, it almost felt like an admonishment rather than a informative eeply to my post. It was short in tone (email tone) and stated i need to look at the dates and that many people on the thread had died, including the original poster. This also did not feel "right". I, as a stage 4a cancer patient, do not need to be treated like that and told such things in such a callous manner! . No "welcome to the site", no "let me give you some tips", just a very cold and unfeeling admonishment for my post!It was quite disconcerting to say the least

     At this time, I am second guessing my decision on this site. I find the posts informative and the users to be very helpful and knowledgeable, and I like the information and resources it offers, but if the administration is going to be so callous, it makes me think I should continue to search for another site?

     Just my experience as a "Newbie" who was just trying to wade through this hell called CANCER!

     Brian

    Oh Heck Brian

    No one is upset or mad at you!!  This is stuff we have to deal with on occasion, and we ALL have been quilty of doing this.  Including myself!! Please do NOT feel singled out at all.  I just wrote the above for everyone to look at the date, including us oldies.

    Please feel welcome here, and if you took this directed at you, please don't and forgive me if I made you feel like that. 

    It iis totally UNDERSTANDABLE on first posts to do that, this was a heads up to other newbies, is all.

    I'm sorry you have to be here but am glad you have found us, please feel welcome!!

    Winter Marie

  • annalexandria
    annalexandria Member Posts: 2,571 Member
    #26
    herdizziness said:

    Oh Heck Brian

    No one is upset or mad at you!!  This is stuff we have to deal with on occasion, and we ALL have been quilty of doing this.  Including myself!! Please do NOT feel singled out at all.  I just wrote the above for everyone to look at the date, including us oldies.

    Please feel welcome here, and if you took this directed at you, please don't and forgive me if I made you feel like that. 

    It iis totally UNDERSTANDABLE on first posts to do that, this was a heads up to other newbies, is all.

    I'm sorry you have to be here but am glad you have found us, please feel welcome!!

    Winter Marie

    I really think we need to stop doing this.

    I realize that it is highly unlikely that we will hear from Greta, but it would be good to get an actual mod's take on this.  I don't think it's our place to act as forum "police" unless it's really egregious.  We should always err on the side of compassion when dealing with new members.

    It's kind of you to apologize to Brain, WM, but I feel strongly that those of us who have been around for awhile need to set a certain tone for those who are just starting this terrible journey.  We don't need to add to their challenges with arbitrary rules.  CSN needs to decide to lock threads after a certain point if this is an actual problem, but for the time being, as far as I know, there is no rule on this that needs to be addressed.  AA

  • wawaju04976
    wawaju04976 Member Posts: 316 Member
    #27
    annalexandria said:

    I really think we need to stop doing this.

    I realize that it is highly unlikely that we will hear from Greta, but it would be good to get an actual mod's take on this.  I don't think it's our place to act as forum "police" unless it's really egregious.  We should always err on the side of compassion when dealing with new members.

    It's kind of you to apologize to Brain, WM, but I feel strongly that those of us who have been around for awhile need to set a certain tone for those who are just starting this terrible journey.  We don't need to add to their challenges with arbitrary rules.  CSN needs to decide to lock threads after a certain point if this is an actual problem, but for the time being, as far as I know, there is no rule on this that needs to be addressed.  AA

    Well said, Anna!

    Well said, Anna!

  • renw
    renw Member Posts: 282 Member
    #28
    herdizziness said:

    It isn't "but for the grace of God, there go I", it's more Jennie (Idlehunter) was my good friend, and I am still mourning her.  We have feelings here, feelings of sadness and hurt when a friend dies.  Their death matters to us.  So before we are ready, to have their faces brought to the foreground is painful, not because we have impending death (I don't but thanks anyway) but because we cared and loved our friends.  It isn't decades old photos and words of hope we are looking at, but recent death, hope taken from them, and sorrow that we are feeling.

    Winter Marie

    Few months back, i exchanged

    Few months back, i exchanged a few emails with someone of the same age as me, with pretty much the same diagnosis, 70% mets in the liver etc. He also travelled to Germany and China for various therapies. He was diagnosed a year before me. Recently, shortly after he returned from germany, a post was made on his blog that he had died. Apart from the two emails we exchanged, I hardly knew him, but the news hit me like a ton of bricks and it was the first time that I sank into depression. It brought the point home, that there was this young guy, fighting as hard as myself, and just under two years after his diagnosis it all ended. Then you realize 'he was just like me' and every time I come across his photo I see a mirror image of myself. That is what is hard to deal with as its easier to live with delussion that this can't happen to me. I've had friends die, as well as people I knew on other non-cancer related forums, but that is very different. If an old post of theirs came up, no one would blink an eye. On CSN I think people don't like being reminded of their own mortality, hence the many 'how dare you' over-reactions to the ressurection of old threads. My experience, my opinion. Agree or disagree as you wish.

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    #29
    renw said:

    Few months back, i exchanged

    Few months back, i exchanged a few emails with someone of the same age as me, with pretty much the same diagnosis, 70% mets in the liver etc. He also travelled to Germany and China for various therapies. He was diagnosed a year before me. Recently, shortly after he returned from germany, a post was made on his blog that he had died. Apart from the two emails we exchanged, I hardly knew him, but the news hit me like a ton of bricks and it was the first time that I sank into depression. It brought the point home, that there was this young guy, fighting as hard as myself, and just under two years after his diagnosis it all ended. Then you realize 'he was just like me' and every time I come across his photo I see a mirror image of myself. That is what is hard to deal with as its easier to live with delussion that this can't happen to me. I've had friends die, as well as people I knew on other non-cancer related forums, but that is very different. If an old post of theirs came up, no one would blink an eye. On CSN I think people don't like being reminded of their own mortality, hence the many 'how dare you' over-reactions to the ressurection of old threads. My experience, my opinion. Agree or disagree as you wish.

    Yeah i get that ren. Ive had
    Yeah i get that ren. Ive had that same feeling when hearing someone else had passed away from this...i just dont think giving people a hard time about their first post here is a good solution.
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #30
    LazrTekr said:

    My experience as a recent "Newbie".

    This exact thing happened to me last night. Awake, in pain from chemo and searching for help. I ran across a thread, via google, when searching side effects of chemo  and avastine. In my "fog", as you so perfectly described, I didn't see the date but decided to join (first site I decided to join in the 6 months I've been reading them) and created an account and posted to the thread. I was then replied to by an admin(?), and unfortunately, like the other poster to this thread, it almost felt like an admonishment rather than a informative eeply to my post. It was short in tone (email tone) and stated i need to look at the dates and that many people on the thread had died, including the original poster. This also did not feel "right". I, as a stage 4a cancer patient, do not need to be treated like that and told such things in such a callous manner! . No "welcome to the site", no "let me give you some tips", just a very cold and unfeeling admonishment for my post!It was quite disconcerting to say the least

     At this time, I am second guessing my decision on this site. I find the posts informative and the users to be very helpful and knowledgeable, and I like the information and resources it offers, but if the administration is going to be so callous, it makes me think I should continue to search for another site?

     Just my experience as a "Newbie" who was just trying to wade through this hell called CANCER!

     Brian

    Glad you stuck it out

    Hey, Brian.

     

    I'm coming back after taking a bit of a break from this site (because I'm busy, not any other reason). So I haven't really had a chance to meet you, but I just want to say hello. I'm sorry you had such a rude greeting, and I'm glad you had the fortitude to stick with it here.

    I, too, miss our dear ones who have passed on, but I don't think we honor them by being rude to new people seeking help.

     

    *hugs*

    Gail

     

  • johnsnowden
    johnsnowden Member Posts: 20
    #31
    Aud said:

    Just want to add:  I think

    Just want to add:  I think that those who respond to old threads are either too upset to notice the dates or not knowledgeable about such things.  It is helpful to gently inform and educate those who have inadvertently posted on old threads. 

    And Marie, I could certainly understand your pain. 

    For me, reading Jennie's old post brought a tear and a smile; she was just so darn funny too!

    Let's open our hearts to compassion for those who are grieving and for those who are learning to navigate these uncharted waters, for them.  (though we who have some experience can help with their journey.)

     

    hi everybody

    i'm new to this board and wish i'd joined sooner. i was diagnosed in oct/2012 stage 3b colorectal but the other message boards i found were years old and not updated. yet here on the ACS site there is a wonderful active board with lots of neat people!

    well this is my way of saying hi.

    my treatment going well btw.

  • AnnLouise
    AnnLouise Member Posts: 276 Member
    #32
    johnsnowden said:

    hi everybody

    i'm new to this board and wish i'd joined sooner. i was diagnosed in oct/2012 stage 3b colorectal but the other message boards i found were years old and not updated. yet here on the ACS site there is a wonderful active board with lots of neat people!

    well this is my way of saying hi.

    my treatment going well btw.

    Welcome.......

    Glad you found us......I would suggest that you should probably start a new post so we can all welcome you. You have found a group of caring, supportive people....with a wealth of knowledge and experiences. Glad your treatment is going well and nice to meet you! ~ Ann

  • Eltina21
    Eltina21 Member Posts: 173 Member
    #33
    Annabelle41415 said:

    Sorry

    Sorry that this happens but it's going to continue to happen.  Most new people coming on this board are in a fog and their head is reeling with the "C" word and your explanation of what they should look for will eventually drop to page three.  When they put something in the search box it brings up the oldest first and of course people just want an answer, they aren't looking at the date.  What would be better for us older posters is to ignore the ones brought to the forefront, or just scroll down real fast to the end to see if this new person needs help starting a new treat of their own on that subject.  It's a sad thing that happens on message boards of this type, but it's going to happen and we should accept that there are some on this board that have died but we all here posting are survivors and we can still love and mourn the ones we lost.  The spammers on the other hand bringing these posts to the forefront are just scumb.

    Kim

    Sorry

    Hi Kim, You have been very inspirational.  Thanks for all of the advice.Smile

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #34
    Eltina21 said:

    Sorry

    Hi Kim, You have been very inspirational.  Thanks for all of the advice.Smile

    Thank you Dear

    Glad to see you posting again, it's been awhile.  Thanks for the nice comment.

    Kim

  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #35
    johnsnowden said:

    hi everybody

    i'm new to this board and wish i'd joined sooner. i was diagnosed in oct/2012 stage 3b colorectal but the other message boards i found were years old and not updated. yet here on the ACS site there is a wonderful active board with lots of neat people!

    well this is my way of saying hi.

    my treatment going well btw.

    hi

    Hey! Welcome to the board!

     

    *hugs*

    Gail

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