Starting 16 rounds of AC-T chemo. Scared and depressed. :(

Sun Whitey

Finally met with my onc Wednesday and she prescribed Adriamycin/Cytoxan for 4 weeks, then taxol for another 12 weeks.  16 treatments.  Not what I expected.  I didn't get out of bed yesterday I was so upset.  I live alone, it's alot to digest.  Needing some hugs.

jamiegww

You are correct in saying that it's a lot to digest.

I think most of us who received chemo would agree that we had difficulty accepting that we needed it at first.  I think the whole process of finding out that you have cancer and what you have to do to deal with it seems impossible at first but we all got through it and that's why I feel confident that you too can get through it.  For me, I had to stop thinking too far ahead and just take it one day at a time.  Discover what works for you and go with it.  This is a very emotional journey but you are not alone.  We are always here to give you encouragement and all the "virtual hugs" you need to get you through this battle.

HUGS!!!

Jamie

Christmas Girl

(((Hugs)))

Chemo IS scary, for sure. Totally agree. It wasn't 'expected' (by my onc med pros) for me, either. And even though it's now almost 10 years later - I clearly remember the shock. Yes, it's a lot - an awful lot - to digest.

I hope knowing that so very many of us here (including me) made our ways through it will alleviate at least some of your fears. It's not easy; but, it is doable. Your onc team will prepare you for what to expect, explain potential side effects, and how to manage them. Don't ever hesitate to ask questions.

Sending cyberhugs, and my very best wishes...

Kind regards, Susan

Mikilog

Chemo

Hi ssue I am also starting my chemo treatments this coming weds: adriamycin/cytoxan for 4 wakes then taxol for 16 wks to make a total of 20 wks. Yes I am scared silly but we will make it!

miki

jessiesmom1

My Chemo Experience

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in Dec. 2009. I had a right mastectomy in Feb. 2010 and then had a port put in. I began chemo in March 2010. I had 4 rounds of A/C spaced 2 weeks apart and then had 12 weekly rounds of Taxotere. My last round was in August 2010 and I have been dancing with NE(A)D since then. You said the treatment protocol was not what you expected but you didn't say what you did expect or why. I personally did not have any particular treatment expectations - just knew chemo was on t he menu in some form. I did not have radiation.

A cancer diagnosis throws your entire world into a tizzy, doesn't it? One day you have a bump in your underarm/breast and the next day you are thrown into this whirlwind of jargon, tests, procedures, surgeries, etc. that seem to threaten your life. It is a lot to deal with and no one can fault you for being upset or depressed. There are support groups in  many locations for the newly diagnosed as well as seasoned survivors. Maybe it would help you to talk in person to people who are in your same situation. Of course, this board is also a source of information and support but sometimes you need to speak to a real live person.

I can give you a lot of information on my experience with the A/C and T  side effects but it may be too soon for that. Everyone's experience will be different. I think you need to come to terms with the fact that chemo is going to be part of  your life for a while before we get down to brass tacks - so to speak. You may want to start investigating whether you have any friends or family who can stay with you during chemo treatment - at least part of the time. It would have been difficult to go through this alone. My husband was supportive as was my 17 year old daughter. Not exactly the way she wanted to spend her senior year of high school but we made it.

Of course I am sending you virtual hugs. Please post often and let us know if there is anything we can do.

IRENE

Ritzy

Christmas Girl said:

(((Hugs)))

Chemo IS scary, for sure. Totally agree. It wasn't 'expected' (by my onc med pros) for me, either. And even though it's now almost 10 years later - I clearly remember the shock. Yes, it's a lot - an awful lot - to digest.

I hope knowing that so very many of us here (including me) made our ways through it will alleviate at least some of your fears. It's not easy; but, it is doable. Your onc team will prepare you for what to expect, explain potential side effects, and how to manage them. Don't ever hesitate to ask questions.

Sending cyberhugs, and my very best wishes...

Kind regards, Susan

Sending you the biggest hugs

Sending you the biggest hugs in the whole world!

Sue  

Josie21

You can do this Susan!

Hi Susan,

i have been reading your blog daily.  You are an amazing person and I know that you can do this.  You have every right to be upset! Cancer sucks, but from reading your blog you are a fighter.  You will kick cancer's butt.  I am sending you many, many hugs tonight, but then I want you to get ready for this fight.  We are all here for you.  You can and will do this.  

Hugs, hugs and more hugs,

Ginny

desertgirl947

It Does Take a Bit to Settle

A year ago this week I was told that I needed to consider chemo and radiation therapy, based on the results of my pathology reports.  My oncologist laid out the stats to show why this was what he was recommending.

I really was hoping to avoid chemo, and so it took me a bit to settle and accept this.  Oddly, the day I was told this -- and that I would need to get a port -- was the day that in the afternoon I had a follow up appointment with my initial surgeon.  By the time I had that appointment, my oncologist's office had called his office to let them know the plan.  So, that afternoon I was shown what the port looked like and how it would be put in and how it would function.  That was Monday.  Friday morning my port was put in.

I had the same number of infusions of AC as you will have; I had fewer of T.

I made it through.  My friends and colleagues tell me that if they did not know what I had been through last year, they would have no idea to see me today.

Keep a positive mindset.  Hang in there.  Plenty of people here can share with you things that will help and encourage you.  Just remember that two people can have the same diagnosis and treatment plan and their reactions and responses be different.  We here can give you ideas of what you could expect, and you will find that some things we have in common; other things we don't.

e

Treecy1106

Hello Sun

Boy do I know how you are feeling. I was alone as well. I was in the middle of a divorce at the time of my diagnosis. I had only sold my house and moved 3 months before. Everything hit me all at once and I remember not moving out of my bed. The fear about everything from diagnosis, port, surgery, reconstruction, chemo and the hair loss. 

No one could get through to me!!!!!! I want my words to penetrate into your head so try and hear me loud and clear.."YOU WILL BE FINE!" "YOU WILL HANDLE ALL OF IT!" "YOU WILL LOVE LIFE MORE THAN YOU EVER DID BEFORE!" "YOU WILL LOOK BETTER AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF MORE THAN YOU EVER DID BEFORE!" 

My "Cancer" showed me the way to a much better life! I am stronger, wiser, happier and healthier than I have ever been before. 

After my 2nd chemo treatment I lost my hair and that was very traumatic for me because my hair was down my back. It was part of my identity but guess what....I bought wigs...in different colors and started to have fun with it.

Look around yourself.....there are millions of women just like you fighting this crummy disease but they will beat it and so will you and then you will help someone else by supporting them when this trip is behind you!!!!

Have faith and God will help you! That was my way of puling through. I also had  A/C/T but I had dose dense (my choice). Ask your Dr. if that is an option for you. It will get you done sooner. I had 4 treatments of A/C every other week and 4 treatments of Taxol every other week. Then I became certified in Health as a Health Coach, changed my diet and wrote a booklet.

I will tell you again....YOU WILL BE FINE!!!! START HELPNG YOUR BODY GET STRONG TO HELP THE CHEMO DO ITS JOB! Concentrate on that!!!

Much Love and hugs...

Patrice

DianeBC

Josie21 said:

You can do this Susan!

Hi Susan,

i have been reading your blog daily.  You are an amazing person and I know that you can do this.  You have every right to be upset! Cancer sucks, but from reading your blog you are a fighter.  You will kick cancer's butt.  I am sending you many, many hugs tonight, but then I want you to get ready for this fight.  We are all here for you.  You can and will do this.  

Hugs, hugs and more hugs,

Ginny

I am so sorry.  Sending lots

I am so sorry.  Sending lots of hugs and prayers for you!

Hugs, Diane

CypressCynthia

Sending big cyber hugs your

Sending big cyber hugs your way!  I am praying you make it through easier than you expect.  Regardless, we are here for you!

Angie2U

CypressCynthia said:

Sending big cyber hugs your

Sending big cyber hugs your way!  I am praying you make it through easier than you expect.  Regardless, we are here for you!

Prayers and hugs all coming! 

Prayers and hugs all coming!  Keep us updated on how you are.  We care!

Hugs, Angie

Sun Whitey

April 8th

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I spent the last 3 days in bed trying not to be overcome but I suppose it was inevitable.  Getting through the diagnosis and surgery was a breeze, I guess being told I needed 16 rounds of chemo was my "reality check" and everything kind of hit me all at once.  I went out walking today and did NOT spend the day in bed, so that's a good sign...I know I will be good.  I'm glad Ginny, you have been reading my blog and thank you for telling me that.  It helps me a great deal to be able to get this stuff out without being judged. Tomorrow I have my cat scan, blood work and echocardiogram (sp?), port will be in by the end of the week and April 8th is 1st chemo treatment.  

So for the next 1.5 weeks I will take care of me, eat some darn big steaks, drink some killer pinot noir and work out while I still have the energy.

Thank you, all of you, for your continuous support, wisdom and prayers.

I love you, deeply.

Susan

Pink Rose

Sun Whitey said:

April 8th

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I spent the last 3 days in bed trying not to be overcome but I suppose it was inevitable.  Getting through the diagnosis and surgery was a breeze, I guess being told I needed 16 rounds of chemo was my "reality check" and everything kind of hit me all at once.  I went out walking today and did NOT spend the day in bed, so that's a good sign...I know I will be good.  I'm glad Ginny, you have been reading my blog and thank you for telling me that.  It helps me a great deal to be able to get this stuff out without being judged. Tomorrow I have my cat scan, blood work and echocardiogram (sp?), port will be in by the end of the week and April 8th is 1st chemo treatment.  

So for the next 1.5 weeks I will take care of me, eat some darn big steaks, drink some killer pinot noir and work out while I still have the energy.

Thank you, all of you, for your continuous support, wisdom and prayers.

I love you, deeply.

Susan

Good luck tomorrow with your

Good luck tomorrow with your tests Susan.  I am praying for you!

Hugs, Rose

jnl

Treecy1106 said:

Hello Sun

Boy do I know how you are feeling. I was alone as well. I was in the middle of a divorce at the time of my diagnosis. I had only sold my house and moved 3 months before. Everything hit me all at once and I remember not moving out of my bed. The fear about everything from diagnosis, port, surgery, reconstruction, chemo and the hair loss. 

No one could get through to me!!!!!! I want my words to penetrate into your head so try and hear me loud and clear.."YOU WILL BE FINE!" "YOU WILL HANDLE ALL OF IT!" "YOU WILL LOVE LIFE MORE THAN YOU EVER DID BEFORE!" "YOU WILL LOOK BETTER AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF MORE THAN YOU EVER DID BEFORE!" 

My "Cancer" showed me the way to a much better life! I am stronger, wiser, happier and healthier than I have ever been before. 

After my 2nd chemo treatment I lost my hair and that was very traumatic for me because my hair was down my back. It was part of my identity but guess what....I bought wigs...in different colors and started to have fun with it.

Look around yourself.....there are millions of women just like you fighting this crummy disease but they will beat it and so will you and then you will help someone else by supporting them when this trip is behind you!!!!

Have faith and God will help you! That was my way of puling through. I also had  A/C/T but I had dose dense (my choice). Ask your Dr. if that is an option for you. It will get you done sooner. I had 4 treatments of A/C every other week and 4 treatments of Taxol every other week. Then I became certified in Health as a Health Coach, changed my diet and wrote a booklet.

I will tell you again....YOU WILL BE FINE!!!! START HELPNG YOUR BODY GET STRONG TO HELP THE CHEMO DO ITS JOB! Concentrate on that!!!

Much Love and hugs...

Patrice

Praying for you!

Lots of hugs!

survivorbc09

Pink Rose said:

Good luck tomorrow with your

Good luck tomorrow with your tests Susan.  I am praying for you!

Hugs, Rose

You're never alone as we are

You're never alone as we are always with you, helping however we can.  Adding my cyber hugs to you!

Jan

jnl

survivorbc09 said:

You're never alone as we are

You're never alone as we are always with you, helping however we can.  Adding my cyber hugs to you!

Jan

Just so you know that I'm

Just so you know that I'm thinking of you and sending hugs and always praying for you.

Leeza

Sun Whitey

jessiesmom1 said:

My Chemo Experience

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in Dec. 2009. I had a right mastectomy in Feb. 2010 and then had a port put in. I began chemo in March 2010. I had 4 rounds of A/C spaced 2 weeks apart and then had 12 weekly rounds of Taxotere. My last round was in August 2010 and I have been dancing with NE(A)D since then. You said the treatment protocol was not what you expected but you didn't say what you did expect or why. I personally did not have any particular treatment expectations - just knew chemo was on t he menu in some form. I did not have radiation.

A cancer diagnosis throws your entire world into a tizzy, doesn't it? One day you have a bump in your underarm/breast and the next day you are thrown into this whirlwind of jargon, tests, procedures, surgeries, etc. that seem to threaten your life. It is a lot to deal with and no one can fault you for being upset or depressed. There are support groups in  many locations for the newly diagnosed as well as seasoned survivors. Maybe it would help you to talk in person to people who are in your same situation. Of course, this board is also a source of information and support but sometimes you need to speak to a real live person.

I can give you a lot of information on my experience with the A/C and T  side effects but it may be too soon for that. Everyone's experience will be different. I think you need to come to terms with the fact that chemo is going to be part of  your life for a while before we get down to brass tacks - so to speak. You may want to start investigating whether you have any friends or family who can stay with you during chemo treatment - at least part of the time. It would have been difficult to go through this alone. My husband was supportive as was my 17 year old daughter. Not exactly the way she wanted to spend her senior year of high school but we made it.

Of course I am sending you virtual hugs. Please post often and let us know if there is anything we can do.

IRENE

Irene, it's not too early to

Irene, it's not too early to hear about the side effects.  I want and need to prepare myself now.  Please...your feedback is welcome.  xoxoxoox

Sun Whitey

My dearest new

My dearest new friends...thank you for your support and cyber hugs.  I needed them.

xoxoxooxxo

DianeBC

Sun Whitey said:

My dearest new

My dearest new friends...thank you for your support and cyber hugs.  I needed them.

xoxoxooxxo

We have unlimited hugs for

We have unlimited hugs for you!  I know this is tough for you, so, keep posting to us and I hope in some way we can help you get thru this.

Hugs, Diane

Alexis F

Mikilog said:

Chemo

Hi ssue I am also starting my chemo treatments this coming weds: adriamycin/cytoxan for 4 wakes then taxol for 16 wks to make a total of 20 wks. Yes I am scared silly but we will make it!

miki

You've got more hugs and

You've got more hugs and prayers from me!