Psychological issues after chemo

CStar89

Hi everyone,

After my 2nd cycle of chemo I had a psychotic episode and now have major depression.

I am 2 months post chemo and feel like I can't handle anymore physical, emotional or mental stress - everything was so traumatic.

I don't even think I want to take my next blood test.

At the moment I feel like I can't handle my relationships properly or feel like I will be able to run a house, family, drive to far away places for holidays (Is this a part of chemo brain?)

 

Can someone please reassure me that the depression will go away (I'm having a really hard time accepting the fact that it happened and how big my tumour was (8kg)

Can you please give me advice as to how you accepted your diagnosis?

How do you manage with different environments? and going on holidays?

Will I ever be able to plan things and read again like I used to? How long does it take for energy to come back?

I lost my confidence, self esteem and motivation, my interest in my interests

Has anyone else had these?

 

TIA xo

debrajo

Hello

Star, dear, slow down, BREATH!  You are okay, we all go through this to some degree or another.  I see you posted very early this morning...are you usually up this time of day?  The black holes we find ourselves in is usually worse during darkness.  I'm sure you are on meds, if not you need to be, maybe to incress them.  This is early days for you and too much drama and  trauma will make us all panic.  There will be a new normal.  Your interests may change, your outlook on life will be different.  I am 34 months out of chemo and some days are rough still.  My taste has changed, my interest in things I use to love is just now coming back.  Our minds and bodys have been through a serious trauma.  You will be ok.  You are reaching out to others and that is one of the first things you need to do to get back to your self.  If I can help, just use the CSN e-mail.  I probably missed your first post since this is not my board(I'm at the Uterine Board)but would you mind letting us know some of your background with cancer so someone can help you better than me? Get some restandif I can help I am here!  Best, Debrajo

CStar89

debrajo said:

Hello

Star, dear, slow down, BREATH!  You are okay, we all go through this to some degree or another.  I see you posted very early this morning...are you usually up this time of day?  The black holes we find ourselves in is usually worse during darkness.  I'm sure you are on meds, if not you need to be, maybe to incress them.  This is early days for you and too much drama and  trauma will make us all panic.  There will be a new normal.  Your interests may change, your outlook on life will be different.  I am 34 months out of chemo and some days are rough still.  My taste has changed, my interest in things I use to love is just now coming back.  Our minds and bodys have been through a serious trauma.  You will be ok.  You are reaching out to others and that is one of the first things you need to do to get back to your self.  If I can help, just use the CSN e-mail.  I probably missed your first post since this is not my board(I'm at the Uterine Board)but would you mind letting us know some of your background with cancer so someone can help you better than me? Get some restandif I can help I am here!  Best, Debrajo

Dear Debrajo

Heya,

 

It's been very rough for me, my ex left me a month ago after a confessed to lying to him before we started going out. He couldn't forgive me.

Rough is an understatement, I find it very hard not to tell him continually how sorry I am and how much I miss him, but everytime I think I miss him I have to

tell myself that I don't.

 

I'm on Luvox, Seraquel and Ativan because I had a psychotic episode during my 2nd round of chemo.

I was shaking uncontrollably, couldn't sleep for days on end and screaming because of the anxiety and panic in my gut.

I avoided everything, other patients, I couldn't stand sounds or light, it's only been 2 months that I can listen to some music in my car and stuff.

I can't listen to love music because of my ex dumping me.

I find myself hiding facebook statuses of people who are having babies, baby showers, weddings - because I had to cancel my wedding and get the bridal shop to re-buy my dress. It's really horrible.

 

I'm currently seeing a psychiatrist every 3 weeks and a psychotherapist every week.

Thank you so much for your message xo my email is: Celina.stewart@gmail.com

xo

NoTimeForCancer

CStar89 said:

Dear Debrajo

Heya,

 

It's been very rough for me, my ex left me a month ago after a confessed to lying to him before we started going out. He couldn't forgive me.

Rough is an understatement, I find it very hard not to tell him continually how sorry I am and how much I miss him, but everytime I think I miss him I have to

tell myself that I don't.

 

I'm on Luvox, Seraquel and Ativan because I had a psychotic episode during my 2nd round of chemo.

I was shaking uncontrollably, couldn't sleep for days on end and screaming because of the anxiety and panic in my gut.

I avoided everything, other patients, I couldn't stand sounds or light, it's only been 2 months that I can listen to some music in my car and stuff.

I can't listen to love music because of my ex dumping me.

I find myself hiding facebook statuses of people who are having babies, baby showers, weddings - because I had to cancel my wedding and get the bridal shop to re-buy my dress. It's really horrible.

 

I'm currently seeing a psychiatrist every 3 weeks and a psychotherapist every week.

Thank you so much for your message xo my email is: Celina.stewart@gmail.com

xo

Please don't beat yourself up

CStar, I'm with debrajo, slow down, take a breathe.  You are not going crazy, your reaction is normal so look at the steps you have taken to help yourself.  You didn't curl up in a corner you went to find yourself therapy to help you.  That is wonderful!!! 

Taking the time to help yourself is a great priority.  I hope you share your successes, because I know they are within you.  One step at a time will get you there.