One last thing...

This will be as good for some of you as it is for me to express.  Take what you want, disgard what you don't want. 

It's my take on what is happening to those of us that are bonded by a common experience.

You are going through a lot of emotions.  Let it out.  It's ok to cry.  I thought I was the most manly 45 year old

guy I've ever known, but I've balled my eyes out on the shoulders of three great friends.  Let go and it will make

you feel better.  Nobody will think you're any lesser of a person because of it.  They will appreciate that you've

shared that raw emotional experience with them and it will bring you closer to the ones you love.

There is one aspect to your scenario that is very fortunate whether you realize it or not:  you have the opportunity

to be open and honest to the people you love and you can tell them why they mean so much to you.  You may have

already done this, but if you haven't already done this, now is a good time to do so.  Some people will get hit by a

bus tomorrow and never be so fortnate.  You are lucky because you are alive right now and you are reading this very

message.  Take the time to share what you need to share with the people that are important to you.

Take an active role in your future health: ask questions, do your research.  The inernet is the great enabler.  We

are all blessed to be here in this time and place to take advantage of it.  You and only you are responsible for

making the effort to take advantage of it.

You may be ok with just letting things happen to you instead of influencnig and controlling them.  It may work out

for you and it may not.  If you make an effort and know that you've done all you can, you'll be at peace with any

scenario, good or bad.  Whatever you decide to do or let happen to you, be at peace with it.

Let go: the little things really don't matter anymore.  It's such a cliche, but it's true.  Keep your focus on the

big things that really matter: your health and your relationships with others whether that's God or your loved ones

or both.

Be grateful for what you have.  I've always lived my life like this.  I've never had to worry about a roof over my

head or where my next meal was coming from.  We should all be so lucky.  You have some amount of time left whether

it's days or months or years. Take advantage of the time you have and never forget that the time you have left is


This last part is easier for some than others. Be at peace with whatever happens.  Do not be afraid and do not have

any regrets.  Life is such a great journey.  Cherish the good things you've had, let go of the things that you don't

care for.

I don't want to die, but I'm not afraid of it anymore and that is the greatest relief of all.