I am losing my mom to cancer

mettmann Member Posts: 1

As many others before me - I am losing a parent to cancer. Although she has lived a full life (she will be 74 in March) it saddens me that she fought and won a previous battle with breast cancer 10 years ago, and I have slowly seen it reoccur, attack the lymph nodes and spread, and finally the liver has a growing tumor that is non responsive to the chemo. My fiance and I (my mom lives with us) have gone through alot as well, it has taken a toll on our relationship, as well as family memebers that either can handle my mom's failing health, or are in denial.

She does not know the result of last week's CAT scan confirming the spread - My fiance, my mom and I have a doctor's appointment late this afternoon, and she will be given the results. The oncologist has known her and originally treated her breast cancer, and I believe has been wonderful in proving my mom treatment that has helped her make it this far.

She does have an option for one more type of chemo (name escapes me ) otherwise it would be hospice. Of course, I realize that once the liver fails, it will be a fast process - either way, its not something I look forward to.

She was given until the end of the year - that was 5 weeks ago, before the tumor spread (her stomach is fairly extended now) so the waiting - is the tough part for me, my fiance, my family and others that know my mom..

My mom did not ask for this, and it pains me as her only son seeing such a highly motivated , independent woman that helped raise me alone, taken slowly down by a disease that still afflicts millions of people.

I surely do not want to offend anyone that is related, a friend, a caregiver or a survivor of cancer. I just want to vent - and I hope others can relate to our situation..

just my 2 cents ..







  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member

    Mettmann, I'm sorry this is happening to your mom and your family.  It is often said that the caregiver's job is  the hardest and this is why - watching our loved ones suffer the pain and indignities of cancer is just hard.

    Lifting prayers for grace during this very difficult time.  Come back and let us know how your mom is doing.

  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    Never Fair

    Cancer is never fair and no one deserves it. It is very hard to watch a loved one fight and lose this battle. This is a good place to come and vent. Many of us have done that here. Hospice is very good and there to help the whole family. Getting them involved sooner rather than later is also good. Different hospices have differing rules. Some allow a patient to continue to receive some treatment if it is palliative as opposed to seeking a cure. your scheduled appointment will be a tough one for all of you. Making these decisions is always tough especially when it is not your decision, but your mom's. Take care and hang in there. Fay