Waiting for the angels to come

mom_in_CT Member Posts: 19
edited December 2012 in Brain Cancer #1

We are waiting for the angels to come take my daughter to a better place. My beautiful 29-year-old daughter was brought to hospice yesterday. The monster in her head is winning. She fought so bravely, never willing to believe for a moment that it would come to this. She endured surgery, egg harvesting, 9 months of Temador, 6 weeks of radiation, Avastin for the past 10 months along with Lomustine and Carboplatin. She was hospitalized last Friday to try to reduce the swelling, but it was a temporary fix. We were able to get her home on Christmas Eve, but only for a day. I have been with her every step of the way. I have always tried to fix everything, but I can't fix anything now. I can't imagine going home without her. I have been grieving for the past 4 years and I just want the pain to stop. I know that she doesn't want to leave, but I told her that the angels will take good care of her. I told her that she needs to go with them. I hope they come soon, Kim has suffered more than anyone should ever to have to, she did not deserve any of this. My life will never ever be the same without her.

Just last year we went to a 4-day yoga retreat and hiked to the top of Stratton Mountain in Vermont - she was the one that pushed me to keep going. Now she is unable to even open her eyes.


Mom of Kim

dx 2009 anapalastic ogliodendroglioma





  • PBJ Austin
    PBJ Austin Member Posts: 347 Member

    It sounds like you are a wonderful Mom and you and your daughter have shared many great moments.  Even though she can't open her eyes she can still feel your love for her. The angels will take good care of her and there are angels here on earth to help take care of you.  I never knew angels existed in this world until 4 years ago when my kid sister was diagnosed with AA3.  I found many angels amongst my friends but also on this board who helped to make this journey easier.  We are always here if you need to talk.

    Hugs and blessings to you and everyone on this board.


  • cindysuetoyou
    cindysuetoyou Member Posts: 513
    I am so sorry

    I feel so sick reading your words, knowing what you are going through. I remember your gracious note to me when David died, and how bad I felt then, when you said you were on the same road and you were terrified. Our kids were the same age, same diagnosis, same chemos, same type of surgeries...David banked sperm like Kim harvested eggs...they had the same hope that maybe one day....it breaks my heart all over again. Our kids! David didn't want to die and he fought right up to the last concious moments that he had. And i too will never be the same. 

    It does bring me a tiny measure of comfort, knowing that David's suffering and pain and fear are over. I will never have to face that with him again. You are at the very worst point of suffering and i hope and pray that it won't be a terrible long period of time, waiting for Kim to be released from her pain. I'm so sorry that I don't have anything to say that will help you. But please know that I care deeply and I am praying for you and for Kim, and that I understand your terrible pain. I'm so very sorry.

    Love and blessings and strenght to you,



  • manwithnoname
    manwithnoname Member Posts: 402
    I hear you

    our son is 9yrs DX also in 2009, 4 surgeries + RT and still fighting, your story is our worst fear.

    I hope she goes quickly and peacefully.