Getting through the days until first scan.....

ToBeGolden

Billie67 said:

Cris
I'm sorry you two are having to deal with this. I remember feeling much the same. I wasn't so much afraid of the dark but at night is when my mind would wander like crazy. This is very off topic but I have a friend who moved from sunny California to Spokane WA and actually got depressed. Her doctor honestly RX a sun lamp and it helped so much. Now it's not a tanning lamp only a lamp that let's off a light to mimic the sun. She thought it was foolish but finally gave in and tried it. She still 8 years later uses it during those gloomy winter days. What I'm getting at is maybe introduce him to as much sunshine as possible, covering the neck of course. I would actually go in my backyard with a blanket around me and lay on this bench we have. It really did do wonders for my mood.

I also remember looking in the mirror and wondering who the heck was staring back at me. I'm not joking I looked as tho I'd aged at least 10 years. With the weight loss, stress, dehydration and plain ole feeling like crud I was getting very depressed. My home nurse who took care of me while I had my PEG noticed how depressed I'd come and called the dr to RX me a mild antidepressant. One that is to be taken everyday and not just when I'm feeling down. As for the side effects, I have no depression on top of depression. I'm taking lexapro by the way, it's very similar to zoloft. Mine also says depression can be one of the side effects. The thing is, they have to list any and all side effects that theyve been notified of, even if it is the rarest of rare. They are all made of different components and based on symptoms of the patient the dr will RX accordingly. Look at the symptoms for Tylenol and advil and you may never want to take those again either.
How is his pain level? I'm just wondering if he's taking something for pain that is clouding him, that for sure happens to me.

As far as being able to make it to tbe scans, I'm not going to lie it seems like forever to wait. I tried to take a short walk everyday, even at the very end of treatment when I felt horrible. Even a short walk to the corner and back. I watched a lot of funny movies and visited with my very close friends when they'd come by to see me. At first I didn't want anyone to come and see me looking that way but they genuinely wanted to check on me and once I got over the fact that my real friends could care less about all that I was fine. I appreciated their company.

Lastly about the swallowing. He must use those muscles, no way around it. I remember how badly it hurt trust me but I was determine not to lose that function. I know a lady 5 years out who still doesn't swallow! Several times a day I would try something. I sipped on coke, warm tea, ice chips, frozen yogurt, anything. That doesn't mean he has to take big swallows, little ones will do just fine. He can work his way up to swallowing bigger things as he heals.

My oncologist gave some good advice at the end of treatment. He told me not to think of healing and getting back to normal as a daily thing but a weekly thing. That was on a Wednesday and I literally would evaluate myself each Wednesday. On a weekly basis you will notice improvements, maybe not huge improvements each week but improvements none the less.

What I can promise you is that it does indeed get better. So I a week from now you can look back and realize that something has improved.

I hope some of what I've said makes sense and didn't confuse you even more :-)

Good luck and keep us posted.
Billie

Wait A Second!
Spokane is in the sunny eastern portion of the state of Washington. In fact, if it were any further East, it would be in Idaho. Now if you want grey and dreary, you have to come West of the Cascades. That's were you'll find Seattle, Olympia, Portland, Salem, and Eugene. Or you can plant your roots in my neighbor hood: in the "Convergence Zone". The Convergence Zone is the place where the winds going around the Olympic mountains to the North meet with the winds going around the Olympic Mountain to the South. When the North Wind meets the South Wind, all the rain falls out.

Billie: Thanks for bringing up the subject. It sure is more fun ranting about the weather than about this dread disease.

And Yes: We really do infrequently have Sun Alerts as part of our traffic reports. Drivers emerge from a tunnel, right into the sun. It's been so long that they have even forgot how to squint, much less remembering where they put their sun glasses.

My wife uses a bright light to a great advantage. Rick.

donfoo

cureitall66 said:

Thank you hwt...
He is taking the Ativan when he feels like he needs it, but he's afraid to take it often because it also says it causes depression. I was curious how a drug can calm, yet cause depression too?

Thank you for sharing your experience. This helps alot for me to understand.

~Cris

Hi I have chronic depression
Hi I have chronic depression for many years and now cancer. I do not take Ativan now but was subscribed it for panic attacks. It never seemed to effect the depression but maybe that is moot since I already had it; not a lot of humor here but sort of funny to me.