Mom has RCC 4

CAPNMatt

lizbthmagallon said:

Thank you for the advice
Thank you for the advice Foxhd I will defenitely ask

Pain pump
Also ask about getting a pain pump to keep continuous morphine flow. She can also enter Hospice care to provide support.

lizbthmagallon

lizbthmagallon said:

Thank you all for your kind
Thank you all for your kind words and advice I am very greatful.

Mom does not want to be alone
This weekend has been one of the worst ones since mom was diagnosed. Her back pain is still at a 10. Morphine seems to wear off earlier than before. We are waiting for radiation, but again, we have to wait!!! She will have a CT scan done 12/19/12. She feels nauseous, weak, and tired. We try to keep her spirits up but she is just mad at this point. She does not want to be by herself, she cries all the time. Begs us to stay with her and if we try to go do something she cries. She keeps saying that she feels alone, and asks us not to forget about her. Is just me and my dad caring for my mom. My brother and sister are aware of her health but they dont care. Mom says God and the Virgin Mary are not listening to her, to take her pain away. What are we to do? I hate seen her cry. My mom was strong and never cried. I look at her and is not her anymore. Do you know what I mean? My mom knows she is sick but we have not told her how serious it is. But, I think she knows !!!! I know her pain is alot and what she is going thru is ALOT....me and dad are tired emotionally and physically. Our lives have become her...not complaining dont get me wrong....she took car4e of me now is my turn. People have told me to live my life go out try not to think of my mom. what? really? how can you be at disneyland having fun when mom is in pain? People just dont undestand. My poor son has been asking for christmas decorations and a tree, but I feel guilty to feel joy when pain and sadness are in me.

CAPNMatt

lizbthmagallon said:

Mom does not want to be alone
This weekend has been one of the worst ones since mom was diagnosed. Her back pain is still at a 10. Morphine seems to wear off earlier than before. We are waiting for radiation, but again, we have to wait!!! She will have a CT scan done 12/19/12. She feels nauseous, weak, and tired. We try to keep her spirits up but she is just mad at this point. She does not want to be by herself, she cries all the time. Begs us to stay with her and if we try to go do something she cries. She keeps saying that she feels alone, and asks us not to forget about her. Is just me and my dad caring for my mom. My brother and sister are aware of her health but they dont care. Mom says God and the Virgin Mary are not listening to her, to take her pain away. What are we to do? I hate seen her cry. My mom was strong and never cried. I look at her and is not her anymore. Do you know what I mean? My mom knows she is sick but we have not told her how serious it is. But, I think she knows !!!! I know her pain is alot and what she is going thru is ALOT....me and dad are tired emotionally and physically. Our lives have become her...not complaining dont get me wrong....she took car4e of me now is my turn. People have told me to live my life go out try not to think of my mom. what? really? how can you be at disneyland having fun when mom is in pain? People just dont undestand. My poor son has been asking for christmas decorations and a tree, but I feel guilty to feel joy when pain and sadness are in me.

Prayers
Try to set up an alternating schedule with your Dad, so you are not both there at the same time. My wife and I would trade off. If you are a member of a church, ask them to help out during the day. Get a pain pump! Your mom needs continuous morphine and it gives her a button to pull for more. Ask her if angels are coming to visit her. If they are, talk to her about entering Hospice care. Their primary concern is keeping her comfortable and provide all necessary equipment and meds. Take time for yourself, just to recharge your batteries. Doing things with your son will do just that. My prayers are with you.

Texas_wedge

CAPNMatt said:

Prayers
Try to set up an alternating schedule with your Dad, so you are not both there at the same time. My wife and I would trade off. If you are a member of a church, ask them to help out during the day. Get a pain pump! Your mom needs continuous morphine and it gives her a button to pull for more. Ask her if angels are coming to visit her. If they are, talk to her about entering Hospice care. Their primary concern is keeping her comfortable and provide all necessary equipment and meds. Take time for yourself, just to recharge your batteries. Doing things with your son will do just that. My prayers are with you.

Prayers
That's good advice from CAPNMatt. You owe it to everyone, not least to yourself, to find all the joy you can. Your Son deserves all the fun you can give him and your Mom will probably feel better not seeing you pulled down and exhausted by the plight she's in. The suggestions CAPNMatt has made are practical and sensible and you shouldn't feel you have to suffer as much as your poor Mom.

lizbthmagallon

CAPNMatt said:

Prayers
Try to set up an alternating schedule with your Dad, so you are not both there at the same time. My wife and I would trade off. If you are a member of a church, ask them to help out during the day. Get a pain pump! Your mom needs continuous morphine and it gives her a button to pull for more. Ask her if angels are coming to visit her. If they are, talk to her about entering Hospice care. Their primary concern is keeping her comfortable and provide all necessary equipment and meds. Take time for yourself, just to recharge your batteries. Doing things with your son will do just that. My prayers are with you.

Thank you for the kind words
Thank you for the kind words and prayers. Friends have volunteered to come and stay home with my mom while Dad and me work. I am so grateful!!! I must say that my mom does not know that her cancer is advaced, as the doctor put it. If I tell her I feel she will be so depressed and will just give up. In our culture we dont really talk feelings or death. I might be wrong not to tell her how serious all this is but I just cant bring myself to talk about last minute wishes, funeral, last places to visit...etc. I have hope that God will keep her with us many years...so there is no need to talk about death right?

CAPNMatt

lizbthmagallon said:

Thank you for the kind words
Thank you for the kind words and prayers. Friends have volunteered to come and stay home with my mom while Dad and me work. I am so grateful!!! I must say that my mom does not know that her cancer is advaced, as the doctor put it. If I tell her I feel she will be so depressed and will just give up. In our culture we dont really talk feelings or death. I might be wrong not to tell her how serious all this is but I just cant bring myself to talk about last minute wishes, funeral, last places to visit...etc. I have hope that God will keep her with us many years...so there is no need to talk about death right?

Pray for Help
Pray to God and the Holy Spirit will give you the words that you need. She needs to be reassured that you all will be okay when the time comes. You need to know her desires to be comfortable. Her angels will prepare her when the time is right. It will strengthen your faith as well. Discuss it with your father and ask his thoughts. I am praying for you daily.