New on this board with question
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Thank youhere4lfe said:The doctor was WAY WRONG
He said 2 months, my wife was gone in 6 days. I've read the average for hospice is 34 days.
Best.
Thank you here4lfe. I'm so sorry about your wife. My mom has already been on hospice for longer than 34 days, but she has been completely bedridden for 2 or 3 weeks. The nurses and dr. at the inpatient facility said that they believe she has some time left. I don't know, but it's hard for me to see how someone cannot eat, cannot sit up, stand up, move her legs, look and feel emaciated, sleep 22 hours a day and keep going.0 -
It's extremely
It's extremely unpredictable, and having just been through my wife passing, the hardest part is not knowing when a loved one will pass, so you just sit and watch without any control. It's very cruel and unfair, but also very uncontrollable.
My wife's doctor recommended we take my wife off steroids and that would speed the process. She was gone within four days. I had no idea it would happen that fast. I am terribly, terribly sad, but also relieved.
The short answer to your question is that there is no way of knowing how long your mom will last. It's hard to not focus on when, but that it what you must do.0 -
Tubbs - I am so sorry aboutTubbs said:It's extremely
It's extremely unpredictable, and having just been through my wife passing, the hardest part is not knowing when a loved one will pass, so you just sit and watch without any control. It's very cruel and unfair, but also very uncontrollable.
My wife's doctor recommended we take my wife off steroids and that would speed the process. She was gone within four days. I had no idea it would happen that fast. I am terribly, terribly sad, but also relieved.
The short answer to your question is that there is no way of knowing how long your mom will last. It's hard to not focus on when, but that it what you must do.
Tubbs - I am so sorry about your wife. It is so hard to watch a loved one die like this. As bad as it sounds, I think that I will feel relief when my mom goes. She is so aware of all that is happening to her. And seeing her miserable like this is awful!0 -
Not badsamanthac said:Tubbs - I am so sorry about
Tubbs - I am so sorry about your wife. It is so hard to watch a loved one die like this. As bad as it sounds, I think that I will feel relief when my mom goes. She is so aware of all that is happening to her. And seeing her miserable like this is awful!
It isn't bad to think you will feel relieved when your mom passes. It is pretty normal. The final days my husband was here, I prayed for a quick and peaceful passing. Just remember, even though you think you are ready, you aren't. I don't think we are ever really ready. Death seems so final. My faith says it isn't, but it still hits hard. Take care, Fay0 -
Thank you, Faygrandmafay said:Not bad
It isn't bad to think you will feel relieved when your mom passes. It is pretty normal. The final days my husband was here, I prayed for a quick and peaceful passing. Just remember, even though you think you are ready, you aren't. I don't think we are ever really ready. Death seems so final. My faith says it isn't, but it still hits hard. Take care, Fay
Thank you for your reply, Fay. I am so sorry that you and your husband had to go through this cruel disease. I know that I may not really be ready to lose my mom, but, as bad as it sounds, I almost feel like I am already grieving for her because she looks and acts nothing like my mother. It just hurts me to see her so sick and not being able to really help her. Thank you, again.0 -
Thinking of Yousamanthac said:Thank you, Fay
Thank you for your reply, Fay. I am so sorry that you and your husband had to go through this cruel disease. I know that I may not really be ready to lose my mom, but, as bad as it sounds, I almost feel like I am already grieving for her because she looks and acts nothing like my mother. It just hurts me to see her so sick and not being able to really help her. Thank you, again.
Hello samanthac to you and your husband. So sorry you and your mom are going through such a rough time with the cancer. I was a caregiver for my dad, Ray. He suffered and passed away from EC in March 2010. I know what you are going through as a daughter. It is very, very hard to watch our loved one suffer, be in pain, and have absolutely no quality of life left. Hospice is wonderful. They will help you with this whole process. Tell your mom
it is ok for her to go. Give her that peace that she needs to hear. I told this to my dad the afternoon of March 9, 2010. He passed that evening. I think they are just holding on
for us, for their family. Once we give them permission to go, they are relieved, and go peacefully. I hope my experience has helped you. Keep in touch.
Tina in Va0
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