I know I should be really happy hitting the one year mark but I have to say in all honesty I don't. I am so emotionally and physically drained. My husband is still holding his own for the most part but everytime I feel optomistic the other shoe seems to drop. If it doesn't drop with him one of my 2 kids drops an emotional bomb of some sought. I feel I can never catch a break which seems to just make me angry and distant or I just cry at the thought of everything. To top it off my husband really hurt me a last week emotionally. He was finally having a port put in and before surgery I went to kiss him and he turned away. I know he was scared, I could see it on his face and hear it in his voice but that just killed me. Of course I can't say anything as I don't want to upset him but it just hurts. Uggg sorry about all this whining but I just feel "done". If I could pack up right now and disappear by myself I think I actually would.