Unplanned Scan + Set My New 'Clear' Record

135

Comments

  • So Worried
    So Worried Member Posts: 111 Member
    #42
    Sundanceh said:

    Dear WM
    Very insightful..the part about us trying so hard "not too" get too close. I feel it too. That does not work for me...I've got to be emotionally vested to be effective. I can't be dispassionate about what I say, or it rings hollow.

    Folks must have thought I was nuts with some of the stuff I said...I was further up the path and you all were just getting started...alot of folks could not see my perspectives then, but you guys did listen.

    Now, it's probably getting a little clearer...

    I've watched you grow from where you started then...Jenny too:) And scores of others as well...it's been a treat having a front-row seat for all of it.

    I'll never forget your w/end post that time about "blowin' smoke"...LOL! You've come a long way, baby!

    '09 was a special time for me - a time of naivete - and a time of innocence...

    You know I'm with you still and know you will respond favorably and get back clear:)

    Big TX Hugs!

    -Craig

    Dear Craig
    I don't know you (yet) but I just want to tell you that your post was beautiful. Thank you so much for writing it. We all need to hear inspiring stories and good news. I am so happy your scan is clear and I am hoping that for you....for MANY, MANY years!!!!

    Just a new person......
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    #43
    Craig
    Craig,
    Thank you so much for both parts of this post. The words you share at the beginning sum up so many of my feelings. We joined in January 2009 and at times the precious ones we've lost overwhelm me. I miss people so much but am so grateful that I had a chance to know them.

    Thank you also for the second part of your post. I am so very, very happy for you! Thank you for sharing hope, we all need hope.

    Aloha my friend,
    Kathleen
  • steved
    steved Member Posts: 834 Member
    #44
    This is a wonderful thread for us all to spend some time regrouping after our recent losses and too much bad news (just read pete's latest post and still reeling from that one). We are a strange family that is almost a representation of the cycles of life in fast forward- as some pass on newbies join and the circle begins a new. There are times though when we have all suffered too much Los that we need to stop and reflect and regathering our strength as a group, before moving forward again. I would encourage people to also think of a laughter, celebrations and hope that we all have xperienced here that is harder to recall when we are wiping our tears of sadness away.

    I am pleased that my story has triggered you to get a new scan Craig and the results are just fantastic. We needed that news here today. I do sometimes struggle to post my story at times as I know it runs the risk of undermining the hope people experience when they are moving forward during a long period of ned and I too am guiltyo of being some one who has left this board when I no longer needed it. However, I do think that is part of recovery for many people. Cancer and all it's paraphernalia occupies a lot of space in our lives and as people recover (what ever that means to that person) this stuff needs to occupy less space to allow normality to creep back in. This board is part of 'that stuff'. So I never begrudge those that chose to move on, but also hugely admire those that stay and feel their constancy of contribution is the backbone of boards like this.

    So thank you for the thread Craig and lets use it to celebrate all that is great about this group- our diversity, our multinationalism, the humour, the successes, our ability tolerate the losses and ultimately our weird little family united in fighting a formidable foe. We are all pretty amazing.

    Steve
  • Maxiecat
    Maxiecat Member Posts: 544 Member
    #45
    I am so glad that your scan
    I am so glad that your scan turned out good...it really is helpful to see someone who is further down the treatment path doing well. As a new member of this group those words of encouragement and advice really mean so much.

    Alex
  • lauragb
    lauragb Member Posts: 370 Member
    #46
    Well, this indeed good news!
    Well, this indeed good news! And very welcome. It has been hard to see so many people pass on. So your words are welcome.

    Thanks.
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #47
    Maxiecat said:

    I am so glad that your scan
    I am so glad that your scan turned out good...it really is helpful to see someone who is further down the treatment path doing well. As a new member of this group those words of encouragement and advice really mean so much.

    Alex

    Your Most Welcome, Alex!
    I've always tried to use my story to illustrate the triumphs and the pratfalls - good and bad...with life as well as cancer.

    I think all of us look for examples to help us through life - and here with our cancer fights. I'm so happy to still be here roaming these halls:)

    This board has made my cancer something I can live with...

    I thought recently that my time here had come...I began to feel irrelevant and that I had nothing left to give here...that perhaps I had nothing of value left to offer.

    It pleases me to see so many faces on this post...new and old:)

    I know you're just getting started...Time and Patience will be the two biggest instruments in your medicine bag...don't despair...hold them close to your heart!

    If you get tired, you can hitch your wagon to the back of my bumper - and I'll help carry you up the road:)

    Thank you for being on this post.

    -Craig
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #48
    steved said:

    This is a wonderful thread for us all to spend some time regrouping after our recent losses and too much bad news (just read pete's latest post and still reeling from that one). We are a strange family that is almost a representation of the cycles of life in fast forward- as some pass on newbies join and the circle begins a new. There are times though when we have all suffered too much Los that we need to stop and reflect and regathering our strength as a group, before moving forward again. I would encourage people to also think of a laughter, celebrations and hope that we all have xperienced here that is harder to recall when we are wiping our tears of sadness away.

    I am pleased that my story has triggered you to get a new scan Craig and the results are just fantastic. We needed that news here today. I do sometimes struggle to post my story at times as I know it runs the risk of undermining the hope people experience when they are moving forward during a long period of ned and I too am guiltyo of being some one who has left this board when I no longer needed it. However, I do think that is part of recovery for many people. Cancer and all it's paraphernalia occupies a lot of space in our lives and as people recover (what ever that means to that person) this stuff needs to occupy less space to allow normality to creep back in. This board is part of 'that stuff'. So I never begrudge those that chose to move on, but also hugely admire those that stay and feel their constancy of contribution is the backbone of boards like this.

    So thank you for the thread Craig and lets use it to celebrate all that is great about this group- our diversity, our multinationalism, the humour, the successes, our ability tolerate the losses and ultimately our weird little family united in fighting a formidable foe. We are all pretty amazing.

    Steve

    A Time for Healing
    Mornin' Steve,

    I just saw the air going out of this balloon and could tell the community needed to talk...I know I needed to.

    I hope this post will serve as the anchor to allow folks to express themselves and begin the healing process. I wait for these kind of posts and it's wonderful to read all the true feelings being expressed.

    Cancer tries to kill the spirit, before he claims the body.

    I'm going to do my damnest to keep folks propped up when I see them leaning to the side. And when the community as a whole hurts, that has always hurt me. I've always liked to do my part in helping the community, because I hold it as sacred ground - I've given alot of my life here for anyone who wants to accept it.

    The Board must always exist, because cancer always walks among us. It was created from the noblest of causes and it is our obligation as the current gate-keepers, to protect the integrity and sanctity of this institution and what it stands for - so that fellow travelers along our road have a way-station to come to when they find the cancer storm rainin' all over 'em.

    Thank you, Steve for being on this post and for your healing words.

    -Craig

    I am proud to serve here and to be a brief chapter of this board's illustrious history.
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #49
    lauragb said:

    Well, this indeed good news!
    Well, this indeed good news! And very welcome. It has been hard to see so many people pass on. So your words are welcome.

    Thanks.

    Hi Laura:)
    As always, Thank You!

    Nice to see you!

    -Craig
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #50
    Kathleen808 said:

    Craig
    Craig,
    Thank you so much for both parts of this post. The words you share at the beginning sum up so many of my feelings. We joined in January 2009 and at times the precious ones we've lost overwhelm me. I miss people so much but am so grateful that I had a chance to know them.

    Thank you also for the second part of your post. I am so very, very happy for you! Thank you for sharing hope, we all need hope.

    Aloha my friend,
    Kathleen

    Aloah Dear Friend!
    Ok, Kathleen...the truth is...

    I miss you!

    I always waited with anticipation at what you would say after I wrote a post. I know I'm not an easy read sometimes, but always felt one would walk away changed...

    But in a good way - in a real way...

    Glad **** is still fightin'...tell him hi for me. He is a warrior I could never be.

    Great seeing you and thank you for being on my post!

    Me Ke Aloah

    -Donna's Lion
  • mukamom
    mukamom Member Posts: 402
    #51
    steved said:

    This is a wonderful thread for us all to spend some time regrouping after our recent losses and too much bad news (just read pete's latest post and still reeling from that one). We are a strange family that is almost a representation of the cycles of life in fast forward- as some pass on newbies join and the circle begins a new. There are times though when we have all suffered too much Los that we need to stop and reflect and regathering our strength as a group, before moving forward again. I would encourage people to also think of a laughter, celebrations and hope that we all have xperienced here that is harder to recall when we are wiping our tears of sadness away.

    I am pleased that my story has triggered you to get a new scan Craig and the results are just fantastic. We needed that news here today. I do sometimes struggle to post my story at times as I know it runs the risk of undermining the hope people experience when they are moving forward during a long period of ned and I too am guiltyo of being some one who has left this board when I no longer needed it. However, I do think that is part of recovery for many people. Cancer and all it's paraphernalia occupies a lot of space in our lives and as people recover (what ever that means to that person) this stuff needs to occupy less space to allow normality to creep back in. This board is part of 'that stuff'. So I never begrudge those that chose to move on, but also hugely admire those that stay and feel their constancy of contribution is the backbone of boards like this.

    So thank you for the thread Craig and lets use it to celebrate all that is great about this group- our diversity, our multinationalism, the humour, the successes, our ability tolerate the losses and ultimately our weird little family united in fighting a formidable foe. We are all pretty amazing.

    Steve

    Class of 09
    Really 08, as Robert was dx 12/08. I didn't find this board until a year or so later.
    Will he make it to the 5 year mark?? Will he be one of the lucky ones who makes it past that milestone? Most times I think yes, he's beaten it 3x already, then I reflect back on those folks here that didn't. There are holes on this board that never will be filled.

    Am so, so happy your scan was clear. Time to kick up your heels and live a little.
    Or go wrestle a steer (isn't that what y'all do in Texas?)

    Angela
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #52
    So Worried said:

    Dear Craig
    I don't know you (yet) but I just want to tell you that your post was beautiful. Thank you so much for writing it. We all need to hear inspiring stories and good news. I am so happy your scan is clear and I am hoping that for you....for MANY, MANY years!!!!

    Just a new person......

    Hi S.W.
    Nice to meetcha!

    Thank you so much for your kind words:)

    It's been a long, hard fight - I'd like to have a shot at somrthing now...time will tell me.

    Good things can happen...my story is a good example...I wanted the new folks to "know."

    Fight hard!

    I'll be here with you.

    -Craig
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #53
    ron50 said:

    G'gay Craig
    The old adage that what doesn't kill you ,makes you stronger. It is true in some regards but not in others. I think that I am mentally and emotionally stronger now than I have ever been but physically I couldn't whip a bowl of cream. I share with you the anguish of losing friends. I found Blake and Jennie particularly tough but the greatest lesson I have lerned from cancer is acceptance. Whenever we lose someone from the board I just accept that they have done everything in their power to beat this disease and most have gone above and beyond the call of duty to their family and friends. Then there is the likes of you and phil,John,Maglets and many others who have endured hell on earth and I am not being overly dramatic, just to get to where you are. I read with sadness the post from Buzz but I accept his decision. He too has fought his demons for a long time.
    At one stage I decided to opt out and not return to this board but after some thought I had to accept that I am what I am ,a cancer survivor. I saw my nephrologist the other day. My kidney results were not very good,my protein loss is getting very close to the three gramms a day where they feel obliged to start giving me drugs that are worse than the chemo tho I only learned the other day that one of the chemo drugs I was on was withdrawn from use in 2002 in the US and 2003 in Canada because of serious side effects and that there were now less dangerous drugs available. I am sure that those of you on them don't think so. My Doctor was very concerned about my general condition ,my arthritis and neuropathy are worse than they have ever been and I seem to bee all over the place with the diabetes.
    For those who don't know me,there are so many new people here,I joined the board late in 2001 . I was originally treated for stage3 c colon cancer in jan 1998 and had a year ,well,48 sessions of 5Fu enhanced with levamisole. So this Jan (if I makeit)I will be 15 years ca free. I live on the east coat of Australia and I have made and lost so many friend on this and other boards to keep track of. There are others on this board like Neons ,foxy, emily ,scouty,staceygleason and many that my poor worn out brain can't bring to mind at this moment who have emerged from ca to live as normal a life as is possible for anyone touched by this disease. I lack Craigs eloquence but I thank him and others like him who despite their own problems continue to support orther sufferers and one day I would love to sit under a shady tree with him and the other and raise a glass in salute to lost friends,best wishes to all Ron.

    G'day to you, Ron!
    Good to see you, buddy!

    Last year's fight was really hard on my renal system. A few more cycles last year and I'd have been on a catheter, maybe for life.

    When I first came here, your story hit home with mw, because I could see myself through you..yo've been a landmark to me ever since.

    You and I know that you can win the battles, but the fallout, the price we've had to pay, has been steep...and we're not done payin.'

    The battlefield that awaits some of us when treatment ends is full of organ compromise and degradated health that stands to worsen as we age - "The Walking Wounded."

    I was one of the folks pleading for you to stay back then...glad you did...your story is a cornerstone to the very foundation on which this cancer house sits.

    I look forward to that "shade tree"...and the company found under that umbrella:)

    Your friend,

    -Craig
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #54
    Varmint5 said:

    Craig, thank you for sharing
    Thanks for sharing this good news. It is the highlight of my day and makes me feel better. I'm so happy for you.

    Sandy

    Hi Sandy:)
    I'm so happy to have been a part of your day!

    Your story is very heartfelt and touching. You've given the ultimate to cancer. I'm sending best wishes for you and your daughter.

    I will be in your corner - hands clapping all the way!

    Thank you for being here.

    -Craig
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #55
    thxmiker said:

    We all have to keep up the
    We all have to keep up the good fight! Sometimes the battle with the Big C gives us years, and sometimes it gives us months. Either way time is better then zero time. A friend Jim told me often, "Go out there and slay a Dragon, because tomorrow you do not know your fate." Jim fought a 14 year battle with cancer.

    We all have our own path and destiny. How many lives we can affect in the positive is what it is about.

    Best Always, mike

    Howdy Mike
    You'll get no argument on that one, Mike:)

    Love your new lifestyle btw...great job!

    Your buddy got the best out of it for sure...my goal was 10-years...now only 9-months from now...wow.

    Take care, thanks for posting!

    -Craig
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #56
    fatbob2010 said:

    Good Discussion
    Craig, This is a great discussion to have and although hard for some to handle. I find that I am in denial at times as to the serious nature of my condition. Even though just had liver resection and returning to chemo next week y attitude of one day at a time is not always realistic. As you have noted I started to lurk and post hesitantly thinking that this group of people were the ones who had beat the odds and in some strange way they would rub off on me. My Oncologist has made no suggestion of a promised cure or any longterm hope; which I found frustrating. As the time has passed there have been many who are non longer with us and the stories they tell resounded like a hollow bell. The war against cancer that I am fighting is a series of battles that are fought one at a time; as a soldier knows battles are not always won.

    Now the board is a point of anchor that keeps me centered and more real with my expectations. Seeing others go through the cancer journey has changed my attitude from why me to why not me. At first my emotions were down and I was honestly feeling sorry for myself in what I consider now to be very selfish without regard for the pain my family was feeling. Now my focus is winning the battles I can and being as available as possible to my family.

    Thanks for this thread Craig and hope it continues...Please accept my wish that the community grow and share love...Art

    Hi Art:)
    If cancer has done its job - it has profoundly changed us. It does this by changing us from the inside out first. We're stripped bear, which provides a fertile ground for the seeds that will be planted - they are the seeds of personal growth.

    Cancer teaches us to see beyond ourselves - to see that each of us are no more than the sum of the whole that cancer is comprised off.

    Very quickly, we see we're not the only ones and that the multitude is hurting.

    Cancer tells us this..."The needs of the many - are greater than the needs of the few - or the one."

    Your 'wish' is my wish too - and I gratefully accept yours.

    The best to you!

    -Craig
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #57
    Luv2lunch said:

    Good news
    Hi there Craig.
    Mom and I are so happy for you and your news!
    Thank you also for being there for us all this time. Over two years now. We can't believe it.
    Mom is still doing great and holding her own.
    You will always have a place in our hearts Craig.
    Lots of love and hugs to you my friend :)
    Linda and Mom

    Hi Linda:)
    Nice to see you again and thanks for being on the post!

    Your mom responded great...her faith was rewarded:)

    I'm so glad that things are going well in your life. I sure remember our early conversations - and the place that you were at then.

    I saw you grow in bunches...it was wonderful to witness.

    Hugs and love to you both - give mom extra thanks for all those prayers!

    -Craig
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #58
    dmj101 said:

    Let's Keep Hope Alive
    I know Craig it is easy to get down reading some posts from people we have come to love thru this sites.. I say love even though it is distant... I feel it too.. and I haven't been on here as long as you .. only about a year..

    Let's keep Hope alive.

    Love you... Donna

    Agreed, Donna
    We can share and love a lifetime - in a short time.

    My life would echo a little hollower had I not been blessed to have them in my life.

    For if we keep them close to our heart - they can truly never perish.

    Love/Craig
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #59
    thingy45 said:

    Don't you DARE
    Don't you dare leave us behind in the dust....... I personally come to Texas to find you and give you a talking to you will never ever forget. No bolting out of doors allowed.

    So now I have this of my mind. None of us knows why ones fight is shorter and someone else's is over many years. One is NED and another is not.
    I am in this not as long as you have been and I also mourn the fallen every day. Often my mind goes to the pictures no longer on the posts and wonder what they would have answered.
    They have fallen, but never forgotten.
    We do need you Craig, so do not even think for one moment to take a hike. A posse will come to Texas.

    And YES , what a cutie, seeing a ray of sunshine like that is worth to fight another day.
    Love you Craig, so glad to hear thing are going OK for you.
    On another note I have "linkednd" ( website for professionals) up with some other writers and we are looking in..... WHO WHAT and HOW we can get your book out in the open.
    Hugs, Marjan

    Hej, Marjan!
    "Don't hurt me."

    LOL!

    Didn't think I knew any Denmark, huh?

    Surprise!

    That is so great that you are all brainstormin' for me - how flattering! I had no idea you'd be heading something like this up:)

    At a time in my life where I need my friends, but don't know how to ask for them...I find that folks like you are helping me re-define and understand what a real friend really is...just like this book example.

    I am humbled...

    And if I run, I'll have slipped out under the fence long before you know I'm gone:)

    You'll never catch me, LOL!

    But, if you did....LOL!

    Thank you, Marjan!

    Love/Craig
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #60
    Brenda Bricco said:

    I don't know that I will
    I don't know that I will ever look at the Walmart parking lot with out wondering if there is someone out there hurting or in a fog. That is where I spent some time last night, just sitting with my engine running and not answering my phone. I was probably worthy of a bright unit stay but I made it to today and marched on.

    Janie, I am sorry that you are going through all that you are and I am really sorry that your husband is gone at this time. I think some of the hardest times are when we are alone; maybe because we are busy looking strong and being the positive one until we realize there isn't anyone around to see us have a weak moment... we allow ourselves to feel the anger and self pity because some times we need to blow off that poisonous gas that you spoke of. I was blubbering again today, I just feel better afterwards.
    Thank GOD that we have folks here like Craig to lends us his understanding.
    I think I am going to write a letter to Walmart and let them know sometimes their parking lots are moonlighting as a place to have our little parties. Maybe they will serve refreshments next time they see one of us out there "partying". lol
    GOd bless you.
    Brenda

    Et tu, Brenda:)
    And I thought I was the only one who had done that.

    That's an inside joke between me and Janie. That's how we met...I opened a post about loneliness and I revealed that I had driven to the Walmart parking lot, just so I could feel that I was part of the living and to get hope that I would again rejoin society.

    Janie emailed and we talked about - friends ever since...

    I had gotten so lonely and isolated and I began talking to the wallpaper...even scarier, the wallpaper began to talk back.

    I knew I was in trouble...

    Cancer tries to take away all that there is - and all that there can be.

    Anyway, I was on the ropes and so sick by the end...Walmart was a lifeline and it allowed me to get outside abd commune with mt thoughts...I listened to music and rolled the window down...and let my thoughts and feelings wash all over me in a cascade of emotions that ran the gamut.

    My thoughts were mainly about the people here on the board...I wrote many posts in my head that never made it here.

    I just hoped that there was something else - something beyond the pain and suffering.

    I'm in a rare window of time...I would love to imagine it might be behind me now...my wish for all of us.

    You know, Brenda, Walmart is famous for letting truckers and rv'ers park free in their parking lots:)

    Maybe having Walmart provide this complimentary service would be a good idea...they could wash our cars too with a mobile service while we heal in the safety of our metal cocoons.

    The other thing I would say is thank you for sharing so deeply. Your story helped me by knowing that this phenomenon does exist - but is closeted...perhaps, because we feel ashamed of it.

    When I posted it last year, I risked what others might say. But, I've never been afraid about talking about the tough topics.

    By doing so, we show others that it's okay - and perfectly normal.

    The community benefits from the discussion and we experience personal growth by stepping forward and establishing the boundary.

    It speaks to the common chords of humanity - those intangible ties that bond us together and validate the human experience.

    See there, I told you it would be okay to get to know me:)

    I usually don't bite to the 2nd or 3rd date:)

    LOL!

    Thanks again for your contribution and participation in this post!

    -Craig
  • relaxoutdoors08
    relaxoutdoors08 Member Posts: 521 Member
    #61
    Craig ....Thank you for being here
    Craig,
    I count myself the class of 2010. You have been here describing your experience....showing such courage and strength...Giving support and Hope for all of us. I too grieved the loss of Jennie. I will always remember her encouraging posts and how I laughed when she shared her morning routine ... hair... teeth....
    WOW, so glad you made a new record. I am approaching my 2 year post dx and am feeling such anxiety. You and the others here shown me that one regroups and fights another day.
    Thank you so much for being here for us.
    NB

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