implants too small, superficial complaint

hope4thebest

I know I am lucky, for I have survived one year after diagnosis, gotten thru reconstruction, after expanders, on both sides. Well, they have settled, gravity has pulled them down. I am thin, was an A cup, the surgeon had to remove alot of tissue, and there is next to nothing that remains. It is very bony. I am not pleased with the appearance. I am now a small B, but feel very vulnerable with little coverage left on my upper chest. The area around my sternum is bare bones, no padding at all, just a big space between the implants. During the last surgery, Dr injected some fat stem cells, it helped some. At this point, I am not sure what to do. It is especially sensitive for me because I am still single and want to be looking good. Part of me wants to just skip my final surgery or at least put it off for a while because I am so tired of this, and then part of me wants to go back in and get them to be more attractive. I miss my confidence!! Before, even tho they were XS, they were well contoured with my body. Anyone have this problem post expanders?? In my effort not to make them too big, I feel I have made them too small....

ESDC

Confidence
Firstly, congratulations on your one year milestone - you may be lucky but it must have been a tough ride.

Secondly, I think that how you look and feel about your body is not superficial at all. I totally understand how you are feeling and know that it must be extra hard if you're single. I've just had a left hand mastectomy (on 8th August), I'm very lucky to be married and, I'm still struggling with how it looks. I'm very much lopsided and my new boob looks 20 years younger! I really want a double masstectomy so they at least match, and I wont have the constant fear of the disease returning on the other side.

I know you've had alot more time for yours to settle but from what I've been told it still is early days. You have to give your body and brain time to recover from all the stress it has been, and is now under.

Are you at your pre-cancer weight or have you lost alot more? Obviously, it would help to put some back on if you did loose alot.

I've looked into lipofilling (having the fat cells injected) and this can be a very long process as more than half the fat injected doesn't stay in situ and only a certain amount can be injected at a time. I would check with your surgeon but from the info' I've been given you'd need at least another 3/4 procedures.

My advice would be, and this is only my personal view, (other pink sisters may prove more knowledgeable), to leave things for a while longer to let things settle more. At least that way you've got the best chance that the next surgery will be the final result, and you may start to think differenly.

Are you happy with how you look clothed? If you met the perfect guy of your dreams who doted on you and told you how beautiful you are would you still be focusing on this one imperfection or would it still be an issue? When you meet Mr Right you can be sure he wont have such a problem with this. I know my brains way of coping has been to focus on on issue which is so much easier to handle than the disease itself and perhaps that's a habit you've got into? I'm sure it isn't half as bad as you feel it is, but I do understand that ultimately it's about how you feel about yourself.

One last point to consider is that whichever implant you decide upon they do have a finite lifetime and as such will have to be changed anyway. Whilst this is a daunting prospect, it is supposed to be a much easier and quicker procedure with a faster recovery time than the initial surgery.

Whilst you're considering your options why not treat yourself to a new look. Get a new outfit of a fresh trendy style, one perhaps you wouldn't normally go for. Purchase some new lingerie which flatters your new shape to its best. Organise a girlie night out, and do some flirting, have some fun - you may just get some of that confidence back without the surgery.

Hope everything works out for you.

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