To the most wonderful people in the world.........

Buzzard

I restarted chemo 3 weeks ago because of tumor regrowth where surgery was performed in 2010 in the upper left lobe...The chemo Folfiri with avastin makes me so sick that i am still sick from infusion a week ago tuesday. I am suppose to start infusion again next tuesday but have had deep talks with the wife about quality of life that i am no longer doing chemo. It is not something that has been decided lightly. It is something however that I did a lot of praying over, a lot of what ifs but ultimately with no surgery options or curable status as long as possibleI am going to get through this sick round and start feeling better then live as free and fun and as a loving husband and father for as long as possible. I now have hospice in house and they will be here for now once a week and are available at any time when we need them medically, or for social workers for family members issues berievement etc. They are all amazing. I hope that everyone is doing fine and I will keep all of you with me...I will also be with each of you as you were and are with me .....Thank you all for everything each of you do for each other everyday and the friends I have had here through every facet of our lives. Love to all........buzz

Sundanceh

You Sure Know How to Make an Entrance:)
Hey Buzzard:)

Been awhile...I think many of us suspected that things were going rough and that's why we had not heard from you for awhile.

I'm saddened to read this news, although I can understand your perspective. The Folfiri had me as sick as you are feeling...30 days out of every 30...I stayed on it, because there was the hope that I could get off it...otherwise, I would be sharing similar feelings to what you are saying.

It's all about quality...it sounds like you've found the path of acceptance with this and your family. None of us can know how we would feel to make a decision of this magnitude - I've tried...got close...but I'll know when my time approaches.

This is a "Buzz-Kill" for sure...but I'm glad to hear it straight from you.

Your legions of supporters will be behind me...probably will crash the server and take the site down, LOL!

I'm going to move over now...and let everyone fill this lane.

Thank you for posting once again!

I'm still in the corner over here...

Your friend,
-Craig

Lovekitties

Dear Buzz
I am sorry that during your absence here things have taken this turn.

While I wish that you had other treatment options to explore, I can understand the decision you have made.

Prayers for you and your family, that there may be much time to live and love together.

Hugs and love,

Marie who loves kitties

wolfen

Sundanceh said:

You Sure Know How to Make an Entrance:)
Hey Buzzard:)

Been awhile...I think many of us suspected that things were going rough and that's why we had not heard from you for awhile.

I'm saddened to read this news, although I can understand your perspective. The Folfiri had me as sick as you are feeling...30 days out of every 30...I stayed on it, because there was the hope that I could get off it...otherwise, I would be sharing similar feelings to what you are saying.

It's all about quality...it sounds like you've found the path of acceptance with this and your family. None of us can know how we would feel to make a decision of this magnitude - I've tried...got close...but I'll know when my time approaches.

This is a "Buzz-Kill" for sure...but I'm glad to hear it straight from you.

Your legions of supporters will be behind me...probably will crash the server and take the site down, LOL!

I'm going to move over now...and let everyone fill this lane.

Thank you for posting once again!

I'm still in the corner over here...

Your friend,
-Craig

Wow, My Friend!
It is sooo good to hear from you. I'm sorry things are not better for you right now. I know you've probably heard this a million times, but is there any other chemo that you can be put on without the devastating side effects. JBG was on Xeloda and Avastin until mid July and it seemed to be holding things at bay. Chemo was stopped due to low platelets, but doctors are trying to find a solution so she can restart.

I just knew you were still nearby, watching over everyone here, and holding the lead end of that rope. We will always be here for you.

Give your kids and wife a hug from Arizona, my Kentucky friend.

Luv,

Wolfen

ron50

Only one thing to say Buzz
It really has been nice knowing you,all the best for the future come what may,ron.

Annabelle41415

I've really missed you and your posts and am saddened to hear of your news. It is understanding that you get to a point where you haved exhausted the thought of continuing treatment. You have always been such an inspiration on this board and admire your strength and courage for the decision you have made. Wishing you feel better soon so you can continue living. May God be with you and your family and please keep us updated.

Kim

HollyID

Hi Buzz...
It's good to hear from you again. This news saddens me as well.

I do understand what you're saying though. Quality of life is to celebrated. Not some race for a quantity of days. It sounds like you've found peace which I am grateful for.
You're a good egg, Clift. Peace, love and hugs to you, my friend.

Holly

PatchAdams

lung
So sorry to hear your news. Since this took 2 years to grow and is in the same area of the other single met, can they do surgery to remove it?

You're pretty popular around here. Don't be a stranger!

dmj101

What can really be said....
What can really be said....

We wish you well along this leg of your journey and peace and light.

I am so sory to hear how sick the folfiri has made you .. it makes me sick too. but I struggle thru..

I hope you pop in and give us an update as to how you are doing..
God Bless...

abrub

We've missed you!
I am sorry to hear it has reached this point, but I so understand. I know that the torture of treatment that I went through would not have been worth it if it were just to prolong quantity. Quality trumps all.

My wish for you is that you continue to take pleasure in your life, loves and family for as long as you can.

Alice

PhillieG

Hi Buzz
It's great to hear from you but the post could have been cheerier :-)
I can understand where you're coming from. The quality of life vs hanging around longer because they can "make it so" are two totally different things. I've been fortunate to have been holding my own for some time but I feel that if I were thrown into the thick of things again I would have a rough time starting from square one. I'm not 46 anymore and you've had a "dog in the fight" a long time too.

I know that your faith is very important to you and I also understand that you put a lot of thought into this decision through your prayer or what I would probably call "deep thought or meditation" for my own personal belief system. Many paths to the common goal of doing what we believe to be the right things as far as treating our fellow man/woman goes.

You've been missed here by me and many others. It's nice to see your photo and to read this post by you. I DO wish that there was some other treatment option that you could do that was less taxing on you and provided some great results. I'm guessing that you went through the RFA/Resection list already.

I had a post about three weeks ago called Dying From Cancer that dealt with the loss of my Mother-in-law due to a freak car accident. The point of the post is that we never know what is in store for us. Anyone one of us can have an accident happen that changes everything in the blink of an eye. We just don't know.

I find that your post is after all cheerie in a odd way. You've chosen to LIVE your life and ENJOY your life. I really admire that. I hope I have the strength to do the same if I get a tap on the shoulder for the "last call". Until then I plan to live my life like an accident can end it at any time (because it CAN)
God Bless...

Lifeisajourney

PhillieG said:

Hi Buzz
It's great to hear from you but the post could have been cheerier :-)
I can understand where you're coming from. The quality of life vs hanging around longer because they can "make it so" are two totally different things. I've been fortunate to have been holding my own for some time but I feel that if I were thrown into the thick of things again I would have a rough time starting from square one. I'm not 46 anymore and you've had a "dog in the fight" a long time too.

I know that your faith is very important to you and I also understand that you put a lot of thought into this decision through your prayer or what I would probably call "deep thought or meditation" for my own personal belief system. Many paths to the common goal of doing what we believe to be the right things as far as treating our fellow man/woman goes.

You've been missed here by me and many others. It's nice to see your photo and to read this post by you. I DO wish that there was some other treatment option that you could do that was less taxing on you and provided some great results. I'm guessing that you went through the RFA/Resection list already.

I had a post about three weeks ago called Dying From Cancer that dealt with the loss of my Mother-in-law due to a freak car accident. The point of the post is that we never know what is in store for us. Anyone one of us can have an accident happen that changes everything in the blink of an eye. We just don't know.

I find that your post is after all cheerie in a odd way. You've chosen to LIVE your life and ENJOY your life. I really admire that. I hope I have the strength to do the same if I get a tap on the shoulder for the "last call". Until then I plan to live my life like an accident can end it at any time (because it CAN)
God Bless...

I was told if I didn't
take chemo for mets to liver it would be 6 to 12 mos probably....no chemo and it has been 15 months...I am in decline but not sick as I was with chemo.., may you have lots of time a head...I truly believe no one knows what will be and may you be a lucky guy and have many good quality days ahead......it was good to see you post....lots of good days to
you..Pat

thingy45

Lifeisajourney said:

I was told if I didn't
take chemo for mets to liver it would be 6 to 12 mos probably....no chemo and it has been 15 months...I am in decline but not sick as I was with chemo.., may you have lots of time a head...I truly believe no one knows what will be and may you be a lucky guy and have many good quality days ahead......it was good to see you post....lots of good days to
you..Pat

BUZZ
Dear Buzz, So glad we finally hear from you, although I would have like a more happier post.
On the other hand... I am right there with you. Quality over quantity, and I wish for a long long period of quality with your wife and children.
You were my mentor when I started this journey, one of the first to put my mind at ease and telling me it was not the end of everything, but just a beginning of a fight. You fought long and hard and now comes the time to enjoy family and friends and in the time which is allotted to you.
We will be there with you every step of the way if you need us, we love and care for you.
My prayers and thoughts were and are now still with you, I often thought how is Buzz doing.
Take care my dear friend, live everyday to the fullest, love to you and your family,
God Bless
Dutch Hugs Marjan

jjaj133

Buzz, everyone has already
Buzz, everyone has already said it. You are loved, you are one of the good guys, My heart is heavy and i just hate this.
Peace my friend.
Hugs,
Judy

pepebcn

jjaj133 said:

Buzz, everyone has already
Buzz, everyone has already said it. You are loved, you are one of the good guys, My heart is heavy and i just hate this.
Peace my friend.
Hugs,
Judy

I only can say you are a great person, one of the best.
Hugs my friend.

Luckygirl2

Understanding
I still think of myself as a newbie on here but your posts have been very important to me. God bless you and your decision to have that quality in your life.

Debbie

Cathleen Mary

Luckygirl2 said:

Understanding
I still think of myself as a newbie on here but your posts have been very important to me. God bless you and your decision to have that quality in your life.

Debbie

Thank you

Buzz,


Thank you for checking in and sharing your decision with us. I have missed you and your words of wisdom. Your news saddens me. When I first joined this forum, your posts often helped me and gave me insight and strength.
Know that you and your family are in my heart and prayer. Prayer may not change things but it certainly changes the way I see things.
God Bless. Know you have an incredible fan club!

Hiugs,
Cathleen Mary

janie1

Cathleen Mary said:

Thank you

Buzz,


Thank you for checking in and sharing your decision with us. I have missed you and your words of wisdom. Your news saddens me. When I first joined this forum, your posts often helped me and gave me insight and strength.
Know that you and your family are in my heart and prayer. Prayer may not change things but it certainly changes the way I see things.
God Bless. Know you have an incredible fan club!

Hiugs,
Cathleen Mary

It is so good to see you
It is so good to see you again. Thanks for keeping us with you. You know we are all doing the same.....you will always remain close to my heart. Peace, and just so much love to you.

fatbob2010

Courage
Buzz,
I admire your courage in this decision and the strength of your family to support you. I am not at the point you are but have thought a lot about what I might chose...Peace to you and your family. Art

Patteee

Hi Buzzy. While the news is
Hi Buzzy. While the news is not so great, I do so absolutely respect your right to call this shot. I have the absolute best feelings and prayers for peaceful, loving, living days ahead for you and yours. You will always be a part of my journey and recovery from this horrid beast. Love you lots Buzzy.

mom_2_3

BUZZ!
I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw a post started about you and not just one with "Where's Buzzard?" in the title! You have been sorely missed but I hope your time away from the board has been filled with love and good times.

None of us knows the road ahead and I also recommend Phil's link. It is a good perspective to have for anyone, no one knows when their final day will be and it's important to live each with as much passion and love and joy as possible. I wish that for you in the coming days.

If you can come back here and keep touch once in a while, well, this young ( ) lady in NJ would love to see you post.

All the best to you Buzz,
Amy