Does the fear go away.

Josi 2011
Josi 2011 Member Posts: 3
in Breast Cancer #1
Hello everyone. Well this is my first post. I consider myself to be a newbe to all of this. I was diagnosed on July 11, 2011. I have stage one with her +. I did my six weeks of radiation and I did six months of Herceptin. I was suppose to do a year but my body couldn't take any more. My oncologist told me it was becoming life threatening because I struggled since day one. So my deepest and darkest fear is that my cancer return and I can't do treatment. So that is my question to all of you out there. Does the thought of cancer returning ever go away.

Thanks for your help.
Josi

Comments

  • roseann4
    roseann4 Member Posts: 992 Member
    #2
    Sort of...
    I am 3 1/2 years out with stage 1 bc. Mine was ER positive. The only time I'm gripped with fear now is when I have my annual mammo. Othwise I don't worry.

    Roseann
  • Josi 2011
    Josi 2011 Member Posts: 3
    #3
    roseann4 said:

    Sort of...
    I am 3 1/2 years out with stage 1 bc. Mine was ER positive. The only time I'm gripped with fear now is when I have my annual mammo. Othwise I don't worry.

    Roseann

    Does the fear govaway.
    Thank you for letting me know that it does get easier for the most part.

    Josi
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    #4
    Hi Josi, I am so glad you
    Hi Josi, I am so glad you found this site. But so very sorry for the reason you need it. You will find a wealth of information, comfort and compassion from the ladies here. I have learned that the more I learned about my cancer the less scared I was. Knowledge is a great thing. It is normal to be scared. Your cancer is very treatable. You didn't say if the Dr's pronounced you cancer free after your treatment was over. Did you have any surgery? And don't worry about needing treatment again and not being able to have it. You will if you need it. There are always other things and treatments that can be done. And there are always new drugs coming out. Just remember learn all you can stay proactive in your health care. And we are always here for you. All of us. Anytime you can get answers. Or just talk. What ever you need. We will always be here for you. You are in my prayers and thoughts.
    Take care Darlin

    Kay,
  • AnnieTherese
    AnnieTherese Member Posts: 67
    #5
    smalldoggroomer said:

    Hi Josi, I am so glad you
    Hi Josi, I am so glad you found this site. But so very sorry for the reason you need it. You will find a wealth of information, comfort and compassion from the ladies here. I have learned that the more I learned about my cancer the less scared I was. Knowledge is a great thing. It is normal to be scared. Your cancer is very treatable. You didn't say if the Dr's pronounced you cancer free after your treatment was over. Did you have any surgery? And don't worry about needing treatment again and not being able to have it. You will if you need it. There are always other things and treatments that can be done. And there are always new drugs coming out. Just remember learn all you can stay proactive in your health care. And we are always here for you. All of us. Anytime you can get answers. Or just talk. What ever you need. We will always be here for you. You are in my prayers and thoughts.
    Take care Darlin

    Kay,

    Hi,
    Yes, you're very new and
    Hi,

    Yes, you're very new and possibly still in a bit of shock and disbelief. I'm fairly new too, but my approach was different, but that's another story. I was diagnosed in Dec. 2010 and had a right mastectomy in Jan.2011.

    Does the fear go away....well I think the best answer is, it's like grief, it's always at the back of your mind, but it does lessen in time I think. Or it has for me. It's a bit up and down and sometimes I worry and other times I just get on with life and almost forget I was ever affected. Time passes and you learn to live with it, but it's always at the back of your mind. But the main thing you have to do is be gentle with yourself, rest, relax and as Kay said just before me, learn as much as you can. There is an enormous amount of information on this site and the ladies here have experienced just about every aspect of BC possible. There are many good information sites on the web. I think if you can talk to your partner, family or friends about how you're feeling, be it good or bad, it will help too. It's good to have someone who will just listen to your inner most feelings. Welcome to this wonderful site, I've only been here a couple of weeks...if that long...and I'm amazed at how encouraging and positive the ladies are here.

    Good luck, Cheers, Annie
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    #6
    AnnieTherese said:

    Hi,
    Yes, you're very new and
    Hi,

    Yes, you're very new and possibly still in a bit of shock and disbelief. I'm fairly new too, but my approach was different, but that's another story. I was diagnosed in Dec. 2010 and had a right mastectomy in Jan.2011.

    Does the fear go away....well I think the best answer is, it's like grief, it's always at the back of your mind, but it does lessen in time I think. Or it has for me. It's a bit up and down and sometimes I worry and other times I just get on with life and almost forget I was ever affected. Time passes and you learn to live with it, but it's always at the back of your mind. But the main thing you have to do is be gentle with yourself, rest, relax and as Kay said just before me, learn as much as you can. There is an enormous amount of information on this site and the ladies here have experienced just about every aspect of BC possible. There are many good information sites on the web. I think if you can talk to your partner, family or friends about how you're feeling, be it good or bad, it will help too. It's good to have someone who will just listen to your inner most feelings. Welcome to this wonderful site, I've only been here a couple of weeks...if that long...and I'm amazed at how encouraging and positive the ladies are here.

    Good luck, Cheers, Annie

    Ditto what Roseann said
    Hi, Josi -

    I'm almost 3 years out of treatment -- bilateral lumpectomies, 4 rounds of chemo, 33 radiation treatments, now on Tamoxifen.

    For probably a year after treatment, not a single day went by that I didn't worry about recurrence or metastasis -- sometimes only for a few minutes, sometimes most of the day. Every little ache or twinge or burp MUST be cancer, I thought, and I planned in detail on many occasions for the procedures, surgeries, and chemo that I was sure were just around the corner (they never were).

    After maybe a year or so, I realized one day that a day had gone by where I hadn't thought about cancer -- NOT EVEN ONCE. I didn't even remember what that felt like -- it was shocking and strange and wonderful.

    Like Roseann, the fear still hits really hard before my annual mammograms -- as soon as I make the appointment, and then gets worse and worse until, the morning of, I'm shaking so bad, I can't even drive myself. But, for the 11 months in between, I really do go days at a time without even thinking about cancer, and weeks at a time without feeling afraid.

    In the months after I finished treatment, I never, never, NEVER would have believed that the fear would EVER get better. But it really does -- just not anywhere near as fast as you would like!

    :-) Traci
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #7
    I had it easy compared to
    I had it easy compared to many of you on this site...so hard to me to give my opinion-but I am not one to worry when I go for mammo, blood work etc...I just go with the flow..I know I am odd man out...

    I hope things get easier with you...wish you the best..

    2008 lumpecetomy & radiation..now starting 5th yr tamoxifen

    Denise
  • Josi 2011
    Josi 2011 Member Posts: 3
    #8
    smalldoggroomer said:

    Hi Josi, I am so glad you
    Hi Josi, I am so glad you found this site. But so very sorry for the reason you need it. You will find a wealth of information, comfort and compassion from the ladies here. I have learned that the more I learned about my cancer the less scared I was. Knowledge is a great thing. It is normal to be scared. Your cancer is very treatable. You didn't say if the Dr's pronounced you cancer free after your treatment was over. Did you have any surgery? And don't worry about needing treatment again and not being able to have it. You will if you need it. There are always other things and treatments that can be done. And there are always new drugs coming out. Just remember learn all you can stay proactive in your health care. And we are always here for you. All of us. Anytime you can get answers. Or just talk. What ever you need. We will always be here for you. You are in my prayers and thoughts.
    Take care Darlin

    Kay,

    Thank You
    Kay, Annie, Traci, and Denise,

    Thank you so much for answering my question. When I logged on and seen the replies I felt an overwhelming flood of emotions. I have a strong circle of family and friends that would move heaven and earth for me but unfortunately sometimes they don't understand. I feel like I will make long lasting friends on this site.

    My doctor did tell me that I was cancer free at this time. I did have surgery to remove the lump on Aug. 1, 2011. I was given the option to remove the lump or have a mastacomy. I couldn't get myself to do a mastacomy and becsuse my lump was small my doctors agreed it was a good option. Now, I'm Tamoxifen and that has been an adjustment for me. I had a BRCA test done and it came back neg. On Aug. 23, 2012, I'm going to start another genetic testing . This test is checking for Cowden Syndrome. I didn't know if I wanted to do any more testing but I realized I need to know if I do have it to know how to protect my health. I try to learn as much about my cancer as possible but sometimes I feel like the doctors speak a language I don't understsnd. When I have important appointments a friend goes with me to listen and take notes so she can explain it to me when I ask her questions.

    Well I feel like I have rambled enough. I want you all for the first time in a long time I felt it was easy to talk about my cancer.

    Thanks again, Josi
  • SIROD
    SIROD Member Posts: 2,194 Member
    #9
    Becomes A Part of Your Life
    As the years go by without a recurrence one becomes adjusted to the fact that they had cancer. This disease will always hold you as hostage. Breast cancer is a disease that can return up to forty years later. Your never totally free of the worry. A headache, a backache, a dry cough and the thought will cross your mind, "is it?". Most of the time, there is a logical explanation for these problems and it's not always a return of cancer.

    I am in my 18th year since diagnose and had the 1st recurrence 4 1/2 years after my initial treatment, the 2nd one was in my ribs and with the new aromatase inhibitors, I had a long spell of NED. The 3rd recurrence was over 4 years ago in my lungs, lining and now in some ribs. I pick up the results of my scans and for a few seconds, I hold my breath... will it be stable? has it progression? is it regressing? I have learned to live with "it is what it is" and adjust to what needs to be done or just to go on.

    Living with fear is not a way of life. We learn in time to make cancer a part of our lives not completely take over our lives. At some point, I am certain it will but for me now, it just remains a part of my life.

    There is every hope that you will be among the 70% of women or men who will never again have a recurrence of breast cancer. I would keep that in mind until you learn otherwise.

    Wishing you the best and a life free of breast cancer,

    Doris

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