Didn't have to make the decision....

Gabe N Abby Mom

Oh Carol, I'm crying with
Oh Carol, I'm crying with you and your family, your doctor, and your nurse. You are indeed one very special lady. I have learned so much from you, and have an immense amount of respect and admiration for you. You bring so much to our conversations. You write of this incredibly difficult, emotional, gut-wrenching decision with such grace and poise. Thank you for being the wonderful person you are.

Hugs,

Linda

camul

Gabe N Abby Mom said:

Oh Carol, I'm crying with
Oh Carol, I'm crying with you and your family, your doctor, and your nurse. You are indeed one very special lady. I have learned so much from you, and have an immense amount of respect and admiration for you. You bring so much to our conversations. You write of this incredibly difficult, emotional, gut-wrenching decision with such grace and poise. Thank you for being the wonderful person you are.

Hugs,

Linda

I just want to thank everyone
For all the support and love. I will be sending out an email to my brothers and sisters most likely tomorrow. I needed a minute to absorb everything b4 answering any questions or consoling. For some who don't know, I am the 11th of 12, and that usually means a lot of support and sometimes a lot of advice and opinions, but all given wih love and each others best interest in mind.
I hope I haven't scared to many of my lovely 'pink sisters' on this site.
My bc is most likely caused by mega doses of HRT and Birth Control which was given in the 70's and 80's to treat me first for excessive bleeding. Then more following a hysterectomy (hrt). I was sent to the menopause clinic in San Diego and after testing it was found that my body was not absorbing Estrogen, I was alergic to the progeserone I was on, so to keep me froiqm getting osteoperosis, the estrogen shots I was getting was not enuf, they added estrace. I was taken off Premarin due to horrible headaches and fluid buildup. The s/e were almost identical to how my body reacted to Tamoxifen which I was put on 2x and taken off both times after about 8 months because it was toxic to my system.
From my early teens I had extremely heavy periods and suffered from painful cysts on both ovaries, the fix? Was to put me on Birth contol pills. It was Ortho Novum .50's and from ovulation to he first few days of my period, up to 3 at a time. Today, from what I understand, the standard birth control pill is about .025. That tells us how far we have come.
I was very fortunate to have children at all. It took surgeries to remove scar tissue from endometriosis, and I had cervical cancer at 22 and had 2 surgeries to remove the affected area of my cervix. 4 months after the first one they found that they did not get it all so they did it again. Because of his, I had to have c- sections. My boys were born when I was 26 and 27 and I had a complete hysterectomy at 31.
I questoned cancer when they put me on all of the hormones over and over. This was when the studies were first being done to correlate breast and ovarian cancers from HRT and the high doses of birth control.
When I was first diagnosed with bc in 2002, one of the onco's 8 was given, told me my 1st (and current onco) was over zealous on my treatment, that I could have gotten away with radiation and no chemo. When my onco got my medical records and learned all the hormones I had been on, he told me he was going to treat me as aggressively as possible. He also told me that he did not think my cancer journey was over.
About the time I was diagnosed with mets, the report came out from Stanford/UCLA regarding HRT induced breast cancer. Unfortuneately, my journey has followed this to a T. It said that more than 50% of those with HRT induced bc would have a recurrance, usually mets, and it is always terminal. That the tumors are resistant to chemo. My onco and I discussed this report at the start of his journey, and this beast has not only been resistant, he has also remained extremely aggressive, even while being treated.
I have truly been fortunate to have my medical team. My onco has been so supportive and brutally honest which is exactly what I expected. I know without him, I would not have been here this long.

For emotional support, all of you have been so amazing and I am so thankful that Gagee got me to come on this site. In case things get crazy here, I need to let you all know what your support here has meant to me to be able to come where people really know what you are going through.l

I just felt I needed to explain my situation, so that I dont scare all of you. But remember, when I was first diagnosex with mets on 9/2010, I already had tumors in all but a couple of bones and areas of skin, and it was so aggressive. I was dancing with Ned inNovemver 2009 on pet and bone scans, and my 6 month check in May of 2010, I was still good in all my bloodwork.

So Thanks to each of you,
Love Carol

salls41

camul said:

I just want to thank everyone
For all the support and love. I will be sending out an email to my brothers and sisters most likely tomorrow. I needed a minute to absorb everything b4 answering any questions or consoling. For some who don't know, I am the 11th of 12, and that usually means a lot of support and sometimes a lot of advice and opinions, but all given wih love and each others best interest in mind.
I hope I haven't scared to many of my lovely 'pink sisters' on this site.
My bc is most likely caused by mega doses of HRT and Birth Control which was given in the 70's and 80's to treat me first for excessive bleeding. Then more following a hysterectomy (hrt). I was sent to the menopause clinic in San Diego and after testing it was found that my body was not absorbing Estrogen, I was alergic to the progeserone I was on, so to keep me froiqm getting osteoperosis, the estrogen shots I was getting was not enuf, they added estrace. I was taken off Premarin due to horrible headaches and fluid buildup. The s/e were almost identical to how my body reacted to Tamoxifen which I was put on 2x and taken off both times after about 8 months because it was toxic to my system.
From my early teens I had extremely heavy periods and suffered from painful cysts on both ovaries, the fix? Was to put me on Birth contol pills. It was Ortho Novum .50's and from ovulation to he first few days of my period, up to 3 at a time. Today, from what I understand, the standard birth control pill is about .025. That tells us how far we have come.
I was very fortunate to have children at all. It took surgeries to remove scar tissue from endometriosis, and I had cervical cancer at 22 and had 2 surgeries to remove the affected area of my cervix. 4 months after the first one they found that they did not get it all so they did it again. Because of his, I had to have c- sections. My boys were born when I was 26 and 27 and I had a complete hysterectomy at 31.
I questoned cancer when they put me on all of the hormones over and over. This was when the studies were first being done to correlate breast and ovarian cancers from HRT and the high doses of birth control.
When I was first diagnosed with bc in 2002, one of the onco's 8 was given, told me my 1st (and current onco) was over zealous on my treatment, that I could have gotten away with radiation and no chemo. When my onco got my medical records and learned all the hormones I had been on, he told me he was going to treat me as aggressively as possible. He also told me that he did not think my cancer journey was over.
About the time I was diagnosed with mets, the report came out from Stanford/UCLA regarding HRT induced breast cancer. Unfortuneately, my journey has followed this to a T. It said that more than 50% of those with HRT induced bc would have a recurrance, usually mets, and it is always terminal. That the tumors are resistant to chemo. My onco and I discussed this report at the start of his journey, and this beast has not only been resistant, he has also remained extremely aggressive, even while being treated.
I have truly been fortunate to have my medical team. My onco has been so supportive and brutally honest which is exactly what I expected. I know without him, I would not have been here this long.

For emotional support, all of you have been so amazing and I am so thankful that Gagee got me to come on this site. In case things get crazy here, I need to let you all know what your support here has meant to me to be able to come where people really know what you are going through.l

I just felt I needed to explain my situation, so that I dont scare all of you. But remember, when I was first diagnosex with mets on 9/2010, I already had tumors in all but a couple of bones and areas of skin, and it was so aggressive. I was dancing with Ned inNovemver 2009 on pet and bone scans, and my 6 month check in May of 2010, I was still good in all my bloodwork.

So Thanks to each of you,
Love Carol

Thanks for sharing
your history, I did not know your background with cancer was so extensive. I thought you were a remarkable woman before I knew all of this.. you are superwoman to me now!
{{{Holding on tight with this hug}}} thank you so much for your inspiration!
God Bless!
Sandy

laughs_a_lot

camul said:

I just want to thank everyone
For all the support and love. I will be sending out an email to my brothers and sisters most likely tomorrow. I needed a minute to absorb everything b4 answering any questions or consoling. For some who don't know, I am the 11th of 12, and that usually means a lot of support and sometimes a lot of advice and opinions, but all given wih love and each others best interest in mind.
I hope I haven't scared to many of my lovely 'pink sisters' on this site.
My bc is most likely caused by mega doses of HRT and Birth Control which was given in the 70's and 80's to treat me first for excessive bleeding. Then more following a hysterectomy (hrt). I was sent to the menopause clinic in San Diego and after testing it was found that my body was not absorbing Estrogen, I was alergic to the progeserone I was on, so to keep me froiqm getting osteoperosis, the estrogen shots I was getting was not enuf, they added estrace. I was taken off Premarin due to horrible headaches and fluid buildup. The s/e were almost identical to how my body reacted to Tamoxifen which I was put on 2x and taken off both times after about 8 months because it was toxic to my system.
From my early teens I had extremely heavy periods and suffered from painful cysts on both ovaries, the fix? Was to put me on Birth contol pills. It was Ortho Novum .50's and from ovulation to he first few days of my period, up to 3 at a time. Today, from what I understand, the standard birth control pill is about .025. That tells us how far we have come.
I was very fortunate to have children at all. It took surgeries to remove scar tissue from endometriosis, and I had cervical cancer at 22 and had 2 surgeries to remove the affected area of my cervix. 4 months after the first one they found that they did not get it all so they did it again. Because of his, I had to have c- sections. My boys were born when I was 26 and 27 and I had a complete hysterectomy at 31.
I questoned cancer when they put me on all of the hormones over and over. This was when the studies were first being done to correlate breast and ovarian cancers from HRT and the high doses of birth control.
When I was first diagnosed with bc in 2002, one of the onco's 8 was given, told me my 1st (and current onco) was over zealous on my treatment, that I could have gotten away with radiation and no chemo. When my onco got my medical records and learned all the hormones I had been on, he told me he was going to treat me as aggressively as possible. He also told me that he did not think my cancer journey was over.
About the time I was diagnosed with mets, the report came out from Stanford/UCLA regarding HRT induced breast cancer. Unfortuneately, my journey has followed this to a T. It said that more than 50% of those with HRT induced bc would have a recurrance, usually mets, and it is always terminal. That the tumors are resistant to chemo. My onco and I discussed this report at the start of his journey, and this beast has not only been resistant, he has also remained extremely aggressive, even while being treated.
I have truly been fortunate to have my medical team. My onco has been so supportive and brutally honest which is exactly what I expected. I know without him, I would not have been here this long.

For emotional support, all of you have been so amazing and I am so thankful that Gagee got me to come on this site. In case things get crazy here, I need to let you all know what your support here has meant to me to be able to come where people really know what you are going through.l

I just felt I needed to explain my situation, so that I dont scare all of you. But remember, when I was first diagnosex with mets on 9/2010, I already had tumors in all but a couple of bones and areas of skin, and it was so aggressive. I was dancing with Ned inNovemver 2009 on pet and bone scans, and my 6 month check in May of 2010, I was still good in all my bloodwork.

So Thanks to each of you,
Love Carol

You know
that whatever decisions you make regarding your course of treatment need to be right for you. I will continue to pray for the wisdom you need for both yourself and your family.

natly15

Carol, you,your sons, and
Carol, you,your sons, and the rest of your family are in my prayers. I only wish I knew you better. You came on about the time I needed to take a break from CSN. I'm so moved by your strength. You have obviously touched many people with your fight and courage. May God bless you. It would be wonderful to have that miracle and I'll pray exactly for that. (((HUGS)))

aysemari

You have a very special place in my heart
I remember when I first found this site and the state I was in.
Like many I stayed on the sidelines first, still unsure about my
new place in life. Your posts always stood out to me, and your
voice carried me through some very tough terrain.

I am heartbroken to say the very least and at a loss for words.
You are a fierce warrior and I can still hear the fat lady singing...

Love you Carol

Double Whammy

aysemari said:

You have a very special place in my heart
I remember when I first found this site and the state I was in.
Like many I stayed on the sidelines first, still unsure about my
new place in life. Your posts always stood out to me, and your
voice carried me through some very tough terrain.

I am heartbroken to say the very least and at a loss for words.
You are a fierce warrior and I can still hear the fat lady singing...

Love you Carol

You have touched me
in so many ways, Carol. Thank you. I shall join the others with my heartfelt prayers and warm thoughts for you and your family. You are truly blessed with a loving and wonderful family, friends, and health care team - and all of your pink sisters here. May your days still find wonder.

Love,
Suzanne

EveningStar2

camul said:

I just want to thank everyone
For all the support and love. I will be sending out an email to my brothers and sisters most likely tomorrow. I needed a minute to absorb everything b4 answering any questions or consoling. For some who don't know, I am the 11th of 12, and that usually means a lot of support and sometimes a lot of advice and opinions, but all given wih love and each others best interest in mind.
I hope I haven't scared to many of my lovely 'pink sisters' on this site.
My bc is most likely caused by mega doses of HRT and Birth Control which was given in the 70's and 80's to treat me first for excessive bleeding. Then more following a hysterectomy (hrt). I was sent to the menopause clinic in San Diego and after testing it was found that my body was not absorbing Estrogen, I was alergic to the progeserone I was on, so to keep me froiqm getting osteoperosis, the estrogen shots I was getting was not enuf, they added estrace. I was taken off Premarin due to horrible headaches and fluid buildup. The s/e were almost identical to how my body reacted to Tamoxifen which I was put on 2x and taken off both times after about 8 months because it was toxic to my system.
From my early teens I had extremely heavy periods and suffered from painful cysts on both ovaries, the fix? Was to put me on Birth contol pills. It was Ortho Novum .50's and from ovulation to he first few days of my period, up to 3 at a time. Today, from what I understand, the standard birth control pill is about .025. That tells us how far we have come.
I was very fortunate to have children at all. It took surgeries to remove scar tissue from endometriosis, and I had cervical cancer at 22 and had 2 surgeries to remove the affected area of my cervix. 4 months after the first one they found that they did not get it all so they did it again. Because of his, I had to have c- sections. My boys were born when I was 26 and 27 and I had a complete hysterectomy at 31.
I questoned cancer when they put me on all of the hormones over and over. This was when the studies were first being done to correlate breast and ovarian cancers from HRT and the high doses of birth control.
When I was first diagnosed with bc in 2002, one of the onco's 8 was given, told me my 1st (and current onco) was over zealous on my treatment, that I could have gotten away with radiation and no chemo. When my onco got my medical records and learned all the hormones I had been on, he told me he was going to treat me as aggressively as possible. He also told me that he did not think my cancer journey was over.
About the time I was diagnosed with mets, the report came out from Stanford/UCLA regarding HRT induced breast cancer. Unfortuneately, my journey has followed this to a T. It said that more than 50% of those with HRT induced bc would have a recurrance, usually mets, and it is always terminal. That the tumors are resistant to chemo. My onco and I discussed this report at the start of his journey, and this beast has not only been resistant, he has also remained extremely aggressive, even while being treated.
I have truly been fortunate to have my medical team. My onco has been so supportive and brutally honest which is exactly what I expected. I know without him, I would not have been here this long.

For emotional support, all of you have been so amazing and I am so thankful that Gagee got me to come on this site. In case things get crazy here, I need to let you all know what your support here has meant to me to be able to come where people really know what you are going through.l

I just felt I needed to explain my situation, so that I dont scare all of you. But remember, when I was first diagnosex with mets on 9/2010, I already had tumors in all but a couple of bones and areas of skin, and it was so aggressive. I was dancing with Ned inNovemver 2009 on pet and bone scans, and my 6 month check in May of 2010, I was still good in all my bloodwork.

So Thanks to each of you,
Love Carol

.

((((hugs))))

Maureen

VickiSam

Double Whammy said:

You have touched me
in so many ways, Carol. Thank you. I shall join the others with my heartfelt prayers and warm thoughts for you and your family. You are truly blessed with a loving and wonderful family, friends, and health care team - and all of your pink sisters here. May your days still find wonder.

Love,
Suzanne

.. still crying with you, and others
You are a true 'WARRIOR'! I prayers will continue that our Lord provide
you, your boy's and loved ones comfort, healing and peace.

Carol, you have touched me, made me smile, laugh. You have
educated me in the true meaning of compassion. I, Thank You!
I so admire you, your fighting spirit, and empathy for mankind.

Gentle hugs, my dear Sister in PINK.

Vicki Sam

RE

Loving Hugs!
Carol I just saw this post and I too am tearing but I am also praying for you and your boys as you digest this new path. You remind me so much of my sister who choose a similar path as you and your doctor have done. I love you Carol and will continue to lift you and your boys in prayers and positive thoughts! I hope you know how much you have inspired and lifted other up with your caring posts. Hoping and praying for that miracle scan.

Love,

RE

Lynn Smith

RE said:

Loving Hugs!
Carol I just saw this post and I too am tearing but I am also praying for you and your boys as you digest this new path. You remind me so much of my sister who choose a similar path as you and your doctor have done. I love you Carol and will continue to lift you and your boys in prayers and positive thoughts! I hope you know how much you have inspired and lifted other up with your caring posts. Hoping and praying for that miracle scan.

Love,

RE

Reading your post and hearing this news is very very heartbreaking.It sounds like you have wonderful doctors.They are hurting too and showing the emotions.Manty times they keep it in and maybe leave the room then break down.But all of you had a good cry and they care deeply for you as do your Pink Sisters and Brothers. We want nothing but a miracle. I believe in them.I've been through many illnesses before cancer and I made it.I prayed and prayed.I will be praying for you and your family.

I remember you saying once you and your X husband are on better terms now.That is wonderful.Like you said you never thought it would happen but He cares very much for you.

I won't quit praying.It's hurtful to write this.It brings tears to my eyes.I think you are a wonderful person to let us all know even though it is hard.We're all here for you.

Thoughts and Prayers to you,your family and friends.
Lynn Smith

MsGebby

Just checking in to let you
Just checking in to let you know you are thought of.

Wishing I could do more.

Sending hugs and love to you and your wonderful boys.


xoxoxxo

camul

MsGebby said:

Just checking in to let you
Just checking in to let you know you are thought of.

Wishing I could do more.

Sending hugs and love to you and your wonderful boys.


xoxoxxo

Thanks Mary and everyone,
It really does mean a lot. I started on the Fentanyl patch today, it will take 72 hours to kick in, and they are weaning me off of the Methadone. Hoping that helps. Just started another prescription for UTI. Doc on call thinks it is resistant and if not better by Sunday morning, he says I may need to go to hospital for iv. Don't think so, told him I would call my onco Monday morning if it isn't better. He was so nice, first time I have talked to him!

Everyone here is so caring and thoughtful.


Carol

eihtak

camul said:

Thanks Mary and everyone,
It really does mean a lot. I started on the Fentanyl patch today, it will take 72 hours to kick in, and they are weaning me off of the Methadone. Hoping that helps. Just started another prescription for UTI. Doc on call thinks it is resistant and if not better by Sunday morning, he says I may need to go to hospital for iv. Don't think so, told him I would call my onco Monday morning if it isn't better. He was so nice, first time I have talked to him!

Everyone here is so caring and thoughtful.


Carol

Carol
I don't post often, but often read here. Your strength is amazing and truely inspiring. I just had a conversation with a friend about complaining, and through all this I have not heard you complain!! She said that to complain is in a way sinful because it questions God's plan, and we are not often to understand the plan but always to accept that he knows what he is doing. You seem to live your life that way and I believe you and your family will be blessed. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

gagee

Oh, Oh, Carol.....
I was so happy to hear your voice yesterday. So glad you made the decision you needed to make. You know how happy I am that your boys are there with and for you. Just as **** and I are. We continue our prayers for you. I only wish I could be as strong as you. I value our friendship so much. You have been then for me when I needed you and your support. Remember my dirty hair after surgery???? You came and washed it for me. I will always treasure our friendship. Will talk with you soon.

You are in our Hearts and Prayers,
**** and Diana

GreeneyedGirl

gagee said:

Oh, Oh, Carol.....
I was so happy to hear your voice yesterday. So glad you made the decision you needed to make. You know how happy I am that your boys are there with and for you. Just as **** and I are. We continue our prayers for you. I only wish I could be as strong as you. I value our friendship so much. You have been then for me when I needed you and your support. Remember my dirty hair after surgery???? You came and washed it for me. I will always treasure our friendship. Will talk with you soon.

You are in our Hearts and Prayers,
**** and Diana

Praying for those miracle scans!
Carol, my heart goes out to you and your family. I have been out of the loop here for several weeks and felt i needed to get back here and see how everyone is and what they are up to. My heart is heavy with this news. You are a true warrior! A true hero of the journey! Your honesty and emotion have surely touched us all~ Thank you, for sharing with us what is extremely emotional, personal and real. You know we band tighter together in these moments where strength and support are vital.
~keeping you in thought and prayer dear pink sister~♥~
~Melanie

jendrey

GreeneyedGirl said:

Praying for those miracle scans!
Carol, my heart goes out to you and your family. I have been out of the loop here for several weeks and felt i needed to get back here and see how everyone is and what they are up to. My heart is heavy with this news. You are a true warrior! A true hero of the journey! Your honesty and emotion have surely touched us all~ Thank you, for sharing with us what is extremely emotional, personal and real. You know we band tighter together in these moments where strength and support are vital.
~keeping you in thought and prayer dear pink sister~♥~
~Melanie

I continue to be inspired by you Carol.
With Love and great respect from your 'other' home-front here in Ontario & Upland.

(((Hugs)))
-Jenn

debi.18

jendrey said:

I continue to be inspired by you Carol.
With Love and great respect from your 'other' home-front here in Ontario & Upland.

(((Hugs)))
-Jenn

Amazed
Carol, I don't come here quite as often as I used to. I knew last time I was here I saw your post about have to make that tough decision. You are the strongest and most amazining person I know. Plain and simple, this just sucks! My heart breaks for you and your boys. You have handled this with such grace - you truly are an inspiration and a hero. I agree the quality of life means so much more than the quantity. Miracles do happen - if anyone deserves one, it's you! Thank you for sharing your story with us.

Love you!!
Debi