Need to Leave Job - Feeling Conflicted
Comments
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MO
I think you've answered your own question by talking it out.
This past year, I got dangerously close to being 'retired' from my job as well...I was about six-months and then tried to return still doing Folfiri - I made it six week and had to leave again and then do the last 3 treatments and then immediately return.
It took awhile to get glued back in...I am tired of working, but never wanted to leave my job under those circumstances either....we always like to think we will leave on our own terms.
Cancer has a way of holding most of the cards and he dictated alot more of our life than we really give him credit for. Cancer pretty much calls the shots as to what we will or can do, alot of the time, especially when it comes to work.
We're square pegs trying to fit back into that round hole....our world changed...theirs didn't...business goes on...and we're left trying to confirm and fit back in with the changes and pace that it brings.
If you're physically diabled at this point - then it looks like you have your answer...I'm assuming you have used your FMLA and that you're just about at the end of your Long Term Disability with your employer.
That makes sense...us too...after 12-months they terminate you here, no questions asked. It's unfortunate and has always been my motivating factor when dealing with my cancer. I've got nearly 25-years in here and I don't want it taken from me.
But, it's so hard to keep leaving and trying to come back...I've done it now 5x and it's a little harder, because I'm a little bit different each time - I'm less than I was before.
So, if you're physically unable and you know it's going to end - take all that you can - and then prepare to write another chapter in your life.
I hate this for you...it's a shame that you can't get about 3 more months to see where you are at. I know businesses have a business to run and can't build their lives around us.
It's hard for them to count on you and see you as part of the picture when you're sick - or have the propensity to get sick again and leave them high and dry while you're out.
It's not right - but that's how the world is built.
Your conflict has been heightened by the clock that is ticking down on you, thus causing a sudden paralysis...your loyalties to yourself and your company are in the arena now, and part of you wants to lean to each side.
But, only you know your mind, body and job the best...if this has to happen, go down to the Social Security Office and file for SSDI to see about receiving disability payments for your loss of income.
It's hard to say not to worry - but I think as the days pass, you will see things from a clearer perspective than you do today. You needed a sounding board to help you validate the decision, which I think you have already made before you opened the post.
My best to you as you move forward,
-Craig0 -
KennyKenny H. said:Wow, did think you could
Wow, did think you could lose a job over being out for medical reasons. How long you been gone?
At our place...
You keep your same job and pay = for 3 months protected.
At six-months, you have a job but may be in new department or you may be able to stay at present job at manager's discretion.
At the one year mark, you are automatically and systematically terminated from the company payroll....after six-months, you would be on a LTD policy pulling 50-60% of your pay.
FMLA is only good for a rolling calendar year...that's the government's protection of your job up through that time...after that, well business moves on without you.
Folks that are not working at larger companies may not even be afforded those luxuries.0 -
UpdateKenny H. said:Wow, did think you could
Wow, did think you could lose a job over being out for medical reasons. How long you been gone?
We get 3 months short term and 6 months long term so 9 months in total, then out. Some places give more on the long term.0 -
Good points Craig. Ive beenSundanceh said:MO
I think you've answered your own question by talking it out.
This past year, I got dangerously close to being 'retired' from my job as well...I was about six-months and then tried to return still doing Folfiri - I made it six week and had to leave again and then do the last 3 treatments and then immediately return.
It took awhile to get glued back in...I am tired of working, but never wanted to leave my job under those circumstances either....we always like to think we will leave on our own terms.
Cancer has a way of holding most of the cards and he dictated alot more of our life than we really give him credit for. Cancer pretty much calls the shots as to what we will or can do, alot of the time, especially when it comes to work.
We're square pegs trying to fit back into that round hole....our world changed...theirs didn't...business goes on...and we're left trying to confirm and fit back in with the changes and pace that it brings.
If you're physically diabled at this point - then it looks like you have your answer...I'm assuming you have used your FMLA and that you're just about at the end of your Long Term Disability with your employer.
That makes sense...us too...after 12-months they terminate you here, no questions asked. It's unfortunate and has always been my motivating factor when dealing with my cancer. I've got nearly 25-years in here and I don't want it taken from me.
But, it's so hard to keep leaving and trying to come back...I've done it now 5x and it's a little harder, because I'm a little bit different each time - I'm less than I was before.
So, if you're physically unable and you know it's going to end - take all that you can - and then prepare to write another chapter in your life.
I hate this for you...it's a shame that you can't get about 3 more months to see where you are at. I know businesses have a business to run and can't build their lives around us.
It's hard for them to count on you and see you as part of the picture when you're sick - or have the propensity to get sick again and leave them high and dry while you're out.
It's not right - but that's how the world is built.
Your conflict has been heightened by the clock that is ticking down on you, thus causing a sudden paralysis...your loyalties to yourself and your company are in the arena now, and part of you wants to lean to each side.
But, only you know your mind, body and job the best...if this has to happen, go down to the Social Security Office and file for SSDI to see about receiving disability payments for your loss of income.
It's hard to say not to worry - but I think as the days pass, you will see things from a clearer perspective than you do today. You needed a sounding board to help you validate the decision, which I think you have already made before you opened the post.
My best to you as you move forward,
-Craig
Good points Craig. Ive been gone since January (2nd time) and on LTD now. Of course the ins co filed SSDI benefits for me so they'll have to pay me less. The SS was approved right away being stage 4.
And from the looks of things even if my lung mets surgerys are successfull I'll still always be on some sort of chemo. Like you said going back then leaving again eventually doesnt work for large corparations for several reasons.
Even though my income is cut in half Im really considering just telling them this is it. Better to give 100% to your fight and less stress ect.
This crap forever changes your life.0 -
Well PutSundanceh said:MO
I think you've answered your own question by talking it out.
This past year, I got dangerously close to being 'retired' from my job as well...I was about six-months and then tried to return still doing Folfiri - I made it six week and had to leave again and then do the last 3 treatments and then immediately return.
It took awhile to get glued back in...I am tired of working, but never wanted to leave my job under those circumstances either....we always like to think we will leave on our own terms.
Cancer has a way of holding most of the cards and he dictated alot more of our life than we really give him credit for. Cancer pretty much calls the shots as to what we will or can do, alot of the time, especially when it comes to work.
We're square pegs trying to fit back into that round hole....our world changed...theirs didn't...business goes on...and we're left trying to confirm and fit back in with the changes and pace that it brings.
If you're physically diabled at this point - then it looks like you have your answer...I'm assuming you have used your FMLA and that you're just about at the end of your Long Term Disability with your employer.
That makes sense...us too...after 12-months they terminate you here, no questions asked. It's unfortunate and has always been my motivating factor when dealing with my cancer. I've got nearly 25-years in here and I don't want it taken from me.
But, it's so hard to keep leaving and trying to come back...I've done it now 5x and it's a little harder, because I'm a little bit different each time - I'm less than I was before.
So, if you're physically unable and you know it's going to end - take all that you can - and then prepare to write another chapter in your life.
I hate this for you...it's a shame that you can't get about 3 more months to see where you are at. I know businesses have a business to run and can't build their lives around us.
It's hard for them to count on you and see you as part of the picture when you're sick - or have the propensity to get sick again and leave them high and dry while you're out.
It's not right - but that's how the world is built.
Your conflict has been heightened by the clock that is ticking down on you, thus causing a sudden paralysis...your loyalties to yourself and your company are in the arena now, and part of you wants to lean to each side.
But, only you know your mind, body and job the best...if this has to happen, go down to the Social Security Office and file for SSDI to see about receiving disability payments for your loss of income.
It's hard to say not to worry - but I think as the days pass, you will see things from a clearer perspective than you do today. You needed a sounding board to help you validate the decision, which I think you have already made before you opened the post.
My best to you as you move forward,
-Craig
Craig - wow thanks and well put. I was Dx'ed 1/13/12 and out effective 1/30/12. 3 months FMLA and 6 months LTD. I did have my gallbladder (initially thought that was it in Dec) so FMLA rolls back to Dec. Tough luck on me. Anyway maybe what I am trying to ask everyone is did they walk away from a job only to move onto something they truely love to do. My job really came down to a giant stress-ball. I do not think I could re-enter that world.0 -
LTD & SSDImarbleotis said:Well Put
Craig - wow thanks and well put. I was Dx'ed 1/13/12 and out effective 1/30/12. 3 months FMLA and 6 months LTD. I did have my gallbladder (initially thought that was it in Dec) so FMLA rolls back to Dec. Tough luck on me. Anyway maybe what I am trying to ask everyone is did they walk away from a job only to move onto something they truely love to do. My job really came down to a giant stress-ball. I do not think I could re-enter that world.
Because of severe low back and hip problems, I had to stop working in April 1999. The only other times in my life that I'd quit a job was to go on to another one. At 40 years old, it was the first time since I was 15 that I wasn't able to work and it caused a lot of depression and made me feel useless.
After a couple of years of physical therapy, I was able to go back to school and get my Doctorate and later went for a second Masters with the desire of teaching at the collegiate level. Now, because of my cancer, there's no way I'll get a teaching job so I've decided to finish my last BA and then just spend time writing and enjoying life.
From my experience, the best thing a person can do after starting on SSDI is work little, part time jobs that you can do not for the money but for the pleasure. Taking classes is also a great way to spend your time. If you do end up on SSDI, enjoy it as much as you can (you're going to have to get used to making due on a LOT less money) and revel in each new day.0 -
SSDIDoc_Hawk said:LTD & SSDI
Because of severe low back and hip problems, I had to stop working in April 1999. The only other times in my life that I'd quit a job was to go on to another one. At 40 years old, it was the first time since I was 15 that I wasn't able to work and it caused a lot of depression and made me feel useless.
After a couple of years of physical therapy, I was able to go back to school and get my Doctorate and later went for a second Masters with the desire of teaching at the collegiate level. Now, because of my cancer, there's no way I'll get a teaching job so I've decided to finish my last BA and then just spend time writing and enjoying life.
From my experience, the best thing a person can do after starting on SSDI is work little, part time jobs that you can do not for the money but for the pleasure. Taking classes is also a great way to spend your time. If you do end up on SSDI, enjoy it as much as you can (you're going to have to get used to making due on a LOT less money) and revel in each new day.
Hi and excuse me for asking on this forum but were you still working when you applied for SSDI?
My employer and the terms of my employment are rather "loose" and best characterized as "near casual." So when I received my diagnosis of Stage IV colon cancer my supervisor found a person who was willing to job share with me. However, that cut me to 20 hours per week which I'm likey not to get because of chemo, doctor's appointments, etc.
Because of the money I made before my dx, unless I cut back to 8 hours per week, I will make too much to qualify under the Significant Gainful Activity guidelines and thus be rejected for SSDI from the outset because I'll make too much money this year.
I'm not in horrible shape, thankfully better than many, because I retired from the armed forces and have that pension as a starting point. But I wasn't working just for beer money and the loss of income can be devestating until and if I get SSDI.
Just wondering what your advice might, in terms of applying for SSDI (should I keep working or just resign, as someone who has been there?
Thanks for any information you can provide.
Rick0 -
SSDIsailor_on_a_lee_shore said:SSDI
Hi and excuse me for asking on this forum but were you still working when you applied for SSDI?
My employer and the terms of my employment are rather "loose" and best characterized as "near casual." So when I received my diagnosis of Stage IV colon cancer my supervisor found a person who was willing to job share with me. However, that cut me to 20 hours per week which I'm likey not to get because of chemo, doctor's appointments, etc.
Because of the money I made before my dx, unless I cut back to 8 hours per week, I will make too much to qualify under the Significant Gainful Activity guidelines and thus be rejected for SSDI from the outset because I'll make too much money this year.
I'm not in horrible shape, thankfully better than many, because I retired from the armed forces and have that pension as a starting point. But I wasn't working just for beer money and the loss of income can be devestating until and if I get SSDI.
Just wondering what your advice might, in terms of applying for SSDI (should I keep working or just resign, as someone who has been there?
Thanks for any information you can provide.
Rick
Hi Rick,
I had to go out on short term disability first and my employer did all the paper work for my SSDI application after I had met the time guidelines. My income at the time I had to stop working was considerably lower than it had been a few years earlier (the difference between cost of living in San Diego vs. Phoenix for one thing) so that didn't factor into my case. If I were able to work again, I'd be able to earn about $1000 a month without losing my benefits.
Hope this helps.
Ray/Doc0 -
THe scary part for me isDoc_Hawk said:SSDI
Hi Rick,
I had to go out on short term disability first and my employer did all the paper work for my SSDI application after I had met the time guidelines. My income at the time I had to stop working was considerably lower than it had been a few years earlier (the difference between cost of living in San Diego vs. Phoenix for one thing) so that didn't factor into my case. If I were able to work again, I'd be able to earn about $1000 a month without losing my benefits.
Hope this helps.
Ray/Doc
THe scary part for me is once you go into remission they could kick you off SSDI. That would be no bueno!
IF medical is an issue, then one must keep working. COBRA only lasts so long, then if you don't get insurance within 62 days you have a preexisting.
FMLA can be on a rolling or annual basis depends on the employer. FMLA is just a protective leave, STD and LTD are a disability benefit, many confuse the two.
I love working, but also wonder, should I be enjoying the rest of my life instead of working 12/6. But then there is the medical issue.0 -
It sounds like a stressful
It sounds like a stressful job is not something that would be good for you at this point in your life. Is there something else that you would like to do? Do you have some skills that you could turn into an income from home? I was planning to go back to work this falll...but then came cancer....i have been a stay at home mom ...my kids are now old enough to stay home for about 2 hours on their own. I have worked part time while the kids were in school...but i was hoping to find something full time. So now i am rethinking my plans...looking into something i can do from home that is also related to something i love to do...my needlework. I am not suggesting that you take up needlepoint or anything...but maybe there is something that yoou can do like tutoring or telework or even sales.
Alex0 -
Nana:)Nana b said:THe scary part for me is
THe scary part for me is once you go into remission they could kick you off SSDI. That would be no bueno!
IF medical is an issue, then one must keep working. COBRA only lasts so long, then if you don't get insurance within 62 days you have a preexisting.
FMLA can be on a rolling or annual basis depends on the employer. FMLA is just a protective leave, STD and LTD are a disability benefit, many confuse the two.
I love working, but also wonder, should I be enjoying the rest of my life instead of working 12/6. But then there is the medical issue.
Hey Raquel
That's exactly where I'm at right now!
I don't enjoy working as much anymore - I work for my name, for my family and for the MEDICAL.
After having cancer 3x now, I get up every day and wonder when, or if I will ever be able to enjoy any of this life that I have fought so hard for. Work swallows up the good days I've achieved.
That's the big reason I'm bummed....I get cancer - go back to work - get cancer - go back to work....over the last year, I've asked myself, "Is This It?"
I would love to get up and drive my own bus for a change - determine when, who and what I did for the day....not have to beat my gums into work and ring the bell for the man...and say 'Present and Accounted For.'
Basically, to stop being a HAVE TO MAN....and become a WANT TO MAN.
We see it along the same lines...
Right now, I'm going to try and learn to live on less - so that I can learn to live more.
It's becoming clearer to me in the past week after a recent trip...
Glad you still enjoy working...multiple recurrences sapped the fun out for me - now it's all about survival...and staying employed to the next morning. Stressful.
Take care!
-Craig0
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