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  • omrhill
    omrhill Member Posts: 125
    #22
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    Girlfriend
    We sooooo need to have a drink and share some stories. I am single too and have pretty much given up the idea iof dating... (although... there was a cute guy in the next chair at the infusion center one day - we traded stories about our rectal tumors). And one of my best friends has become the most distant. But i try not to blame anyone. To be honest, i can't say i would have acted much better myself before my diagnosis. It hurts though, and i so understand that need for a friendly face and a hand to hold.

    But, i have also seen some unexpected friendships grow. Some casual friends have stepped up and shown true cimpassion and generosity. I try to focus on that. It's so easy though to feel lonely. I think it's important that you accept that as a natural part of this disease. Acknowledge it, own it for a bit, then move on.

    Or, send me a PM and we can have a secret **** session. :-)

    Robin
  • dmj101
    dmj101 Member Posts: 527 Member
    #23
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    omrhill said:

    Girlfriend
    We sooooo need to have a drink and share some stories. I am single too and have pretty much given up the idea iof dating... (although... there was a cute guy in the next chair at the infusion center one day - we traded stories about our rectal tumors). And one of my best friends has become the most distant. But i try not to blame anyone. To be honest, i can't say i would have acted much better myself before my diagnosis. It hurts though, and i so understand that need for a friendly face and a hand to hold.

    But, i have also seen some unexpected friendships grow. Some casual friends have stepped up and shown true cimpassion and generosity. I try to focus on that. It's so easy though to feel lonely. I think it's important that you accept that as a natural part of this disease. Acknowledge it, own it for a bit, then move on.

    Or, send me a PM and we can have a secret **** session. :-)

    Robin

    Thank you all !
    Thanks for allowming me to vent here.. I have a feeling it may have helped some others too..
    It makes me cry to see how low I was feeling when I posted..

    Today I feel better..

    It is surprising how some chinese food will clear out my "stinkin thinkin"... lol

    Thank you all for your kind words.. and ideas of how to get past these feelings..

    I may be contacting some of you soon..
    Danker I am so proud of your finding your wife at church.. my parents met the same way at a USO show/party in the 40's at church...

    Some of you think I am rather young.. you should know I just turned 49.. everyone thinks I am younger because I look young.. Italian tomato's and olive oil.. lol
    Well I just want you all to know you are the best people I have encountered in this journey..

    I did meet a young girl at the last infusion center going thru non-hodgkins lymphoma but she lives on the other side of the county and we only see each other on FB these days.. She dedicated her special page to me the other day. https://www.facebook.com/groups/265462403555674/
    Porch light of the Soul.. if you want to check it out..

    I do have a few friends that I lean on ... but none that would understand this emotion..
    My brother who I don't see that often I speak to at least once a week now.. he is starting to get my feelings.. but I don't think he really understood till his friend told him about 6 months ago he has terminal lung cancer and the docs have given him just about 2 years... if he did nothing.. and he is now in treatment.. I told my brother to just be his usual friend and not change anything.. and that his friend will discuss with him what he wants and he has and I am so proud of my brother steppiing up his friendship to his friend..
    My other brother saw me everyday when I was in the hospital last year and has not come to see me since the day he brought me home from the hospital in may 2011. i talk to him about once a month.. no excuses.. I should go see him.. but I don't ..

    Sometimes I think we just have to give in to these feeling for a moment and then get back on track.. so I had to let myself wallow for a day or so and I am now trying to get back on the positive road..
    Back on the yellow brick road.. hoping to find my heart..

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