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Txrosebud
Txrosebud Member Posts: 7
I am 46 and have had a lumpectomy and port put in. I am on my 2nd chemo cycle and doing ok. My hubby has been very supportive to the point we had a shaving party..we are both bald now. :)

I am on here cause I know this may sound crazy but I have been waiting for this momment in my life since I was 15. My mother had breast cancer and had a left mastectomy after which I remember a woman coming to talk to my 2 older sisters and myself. I knew from that momment I was going to be the one to have breast cancer, I don't believe I wished upon myself it was just something I knew.

I have been handling everything very well, maybe too well according to my hubby. He thinks maybe I need to speak to someone and until he said it I didn't think I needed to. Has anyone else felt like this even a bit? Can I be too prepared to handle this that I will break or am I doing good?

I do have one other thing to vent about...why is everything online? I cannot find a bra in a local store to save my breast. Am I being negative about ordering online and having to deal with sending back if it's not right?

Please help this newbie. :)

Comments

  • NancyJac
    NancyJac Member Posts: 91
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    Hi Tx and welcome
    Everyone responds a bit differently to their diagnosis and treatment. I tend to be a pretty practical person so I reacted much like you did. I got prepared, did my due diligence, made a plan, and then got on with it. I've had people tell me I am "in denial" but I know that is not the case. I am doing what I need to do as best I can and for me that is precisely what keeps me from breaking. So, IMO, you are doing good.

    As for a bra, I would highly recommend you go to a local brick and mortar place that specializes in fitting for lumpectomy/mastectomy bras. Check your treatment center for brochures or ask the oncology nurses. Or contact the ACS, they can tell you what is available in your area.
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
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    Hi and Welcome! This site
    Hi and Welcome! This site is great and I hope that we can help you. I think what you wrote makes perfect sense. It is sad, but, I do understand. I am sure that a lot of young girls now that see their Mother's go through bc think the same thing. I am very sorry that you are here because of bc and I will keep you in my prayers.

    Check with your oncologist and his nurses about bras. My cancer center has a shop right there with everything any women would need, including bras. Also, there are a couple of stores in the "big" city that specialize in bras, bathing suits, anything a bc survivor would need. I don't know where you live but maybe you could even google online if there are any stores in your area that might carry bras and so forth.

    Good luck and welcome again,


    Diane
  • Txrosebud
    Txrosebud Member Posts: 7
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    DianeBC said:

    Hi and Welcome! This site
    Hi and Welcome! This site is great and I hope that we can help you. I think what you wrote makes perfect sense. It is sad, but, I do understand. I am sure that a lot of young girls now that see their Mother's go through bc think the same thing. I am very sorry that you are here because of bc and I will keep you in my prayers.

    Check with your oncologist and his nurses about bras. My cancer center has a shop right there with everything any women would need, including bras. Also, there are a couple of stores in the "big" city that specialize in bras, bathing suits, anything a bc survivor would need. I don't know where you live but maybe you could even google online if there are any stores in your area that might carry bras and so forth.

    Good luck and welcome again,


    Diane

    THANK YOU FOR THE
    THANK YOU FOR THE WELCOME!

    I'm Jackie and as you guessed I live in a small Tx town and maybe a trip to San Antonio in the very near future.

    I appreciate all the prayers and well wishes and will return them. Again, thank you very much for the welcome and be posting again soon.
  • debsweb18
    debsweb18 Member Posts: 191 Member
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    Welcome to the board, but
    Welcome to the board, but sorry for the reason you're here. I'm also a newbie on this board. After finding out what needed to be done, I also handled it well. I had such a big cheering squad behind me, I think I felt like I had to. I'm still handling it well, but I'm in that transition stage, after treatment and now what? Other people think it's over, but you'll never be the same and it's constantly on my mind. I still find I have so many questions, which is one reason I joined this board-to share experiences.

    Is there something particular that you're looking for in a bra? I don't think I needed a new bra after my lumpectomy, but after my mastectomy and reconstructive surgeries, I couldn't wear underwire. My cousins took me to Target the day after my surgery, pushing me in a wheelchair looking for a bra. I ended up with a maternity bra! It was great, because I could open up the side where I had surgery if I wanted to! I still use that bra for exercising. Victoria Secret only had 2 bras without underwire. I've been wearing those for almost a year now. Next week I'm going shopping for all new bras (and matching panties).
    YEAH!
  • aisling8
    aisling8 Member Posts: 1,627 Member
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    debsweb18 said:

    Welcome to the board, but
    Welcome to the board, but sorry for the reason you're here. I'm also a newbie on this board. After finding out what needed to be done, I also handled it well. I had such a big cheering squad behind me, I think I felt like I had to. I'm still handling it well, but I'm in that transition stage, after treatment and now what? Other people think it's over, but you'll never be the same and it's constantly on my mind. I still find I have so many questions, which is one reason I joined this board-to share experiences.

    Is there something particular that you're looking for in a bra? I don't think I needed a new bra after my lumpectomy, but after my mastectomy and reconstructive surgeries, I couldn't wear underwire. My cousins took me to Target the day after my surgery, pushing me in a wheelchair looking for a bra. I ended up with a maternity bra! It was great, because I could open up the side where I had surgery if I wanted to! I still use that bra for exercising. Victoria Secret only had 2 bras without underwire. I've been wearing those for almost a year now. Next week I'm going shopping for all new bras (and matching panties).
    YEAH!

    I knew it, too
    I watched this disease chew up my mother, my best friend, and threaten my son (brain tumor when he was 13, he's fine now:), and I knew, just knew I'd end up with it. When I was told, I nodded, and thought "oh, here it is then." My daughter-in-law's mother died of it, too, and she carries the gene and now has to decide between being a "screener" or a "pre-vivor." Unfortunately, cancer has been and is a big part of my life.

    I'm sorry you needed to find us, but we're a wonderful bunch:)

    xoxo
    Victoria
  • Lynn Smith
    Lynn Smith Member Posts: 1,264 Member
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    Txrosebud said:

    THANK YOU FOR THE
    THANK YOU FOR THE WELCOME!

    I'm Jackie and as you guessed I live in a small Tx town and maybe a trip to San Antonio in the very near future.

    I appreciate all the prayers and well wishes and will return them. Again, thank you very much for the welcome and be posting again soon.

    Your situation sounds alot like mine
    Your situation sounds alot like mine BUT my mom was dx at 21.She had a left side masectomy also.This was before I was born so I lived with it starting out young. I have no idea what I thought or I have no idea when she told me.Age etc.I just saw a horrific scar. I didn't think about it being me next BUT when I was 20 I had my oldest son.During my 6 week check up my doctor found 2 tumors. My mom cried and cried(it was close to her age when dx). The doctors said I may not have a breast when I woke up. I did have a breast but in my mind I had cancer and they just left it. I was young and naive. I thought having 1 tumor was bad but 2 OMG I'm dying.Well thst was many years ago. All you heard was cancer patients live 6 months.I thought it would be me since I had 2 tumors not 1.I thought it spread.

    Since I was 20 I ALWAYS had check ups. Only missed one annual exam in 45 years(I'm 65 now). I had a few more scares but again the tumors were benign.I felt comfortable.I had a hysterectomy and refused hormones. I did the right thing refusing hormones.It wasn't till I was 62 a tumor was found.It was biopsied and malignant.It was a shock but I knew it could happen with family history.Not only my mom had bc at 21 my niece was dx at 30(7 years before me)

    This of course is a roller coaster.It's hit our family hard.My mom was a 60 year survivor being dx in the 1940's, my niece is doing good after a double masectomy and I had a lumpectomy on my left side(at 62) the same side as my mom.Now we are waiting for my sister's test to come back next week.She has 2 tumors in each breast.She had 4 biopsies on Tues and she was put through the ringer.She is the same age as I was when dx.We don't know yet but will post as soon as I find out.

    I think the older I got I felt more comfortable having all these mammos for years and years and fine.Then the shock of a lifetime. You never know.

    Lynn Smith
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
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    Txrosebud said:

    THANK YOU FOR THE
    THANK YOU FOR THE WELCOME!

    I'm Jackie and as you guessed I live in a small Tx town and maybe a trip to San Antonio in the very near future.

    I appreciate all the prayers and well wishes and will return them. Again, thank you very much for the welcome and be posting again soon.

    Hi Jackie! Welcome to this
    Hi Jackie! Welcome to this wonderful site full of support and encouragement! It looks like you've already been given some good advice and I hope you continue to keep us updated on how you are.


    Hugs, Kylez
  • Boppy_of_6
    Boppy_of_6 Member Posts: 1,138
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    aisling8 said:

    I knew it, too
    I watched this disease chew up my mother, my best friend, and threaten my son (brain tumor when he was 13, he's fine now:), and I knew, just knew I'd end up with it. When I was told, I nodded, and thought "oh, here it is then." My daughter-in-law's mother died of it, too, and she carries the gene and now has to decide between being a "screener" or a "pre-vivor." Unfortunately, cancer has been and is a big part of my life.

    I'm sorry you needed to find us, but we're a wonderful bunch:)

    xoxo
    Victoria

    Welcome
    Welcome Jackie, sorry you need to be here at all but you will be so glad you found this board. Wonderful, helpful people here. I know you will find tons of support, help and info here. I too am from a small Texas town, I am about 3 hrs N of San Antonio. Prayers and God Bless
    (((hugs))) Janice
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
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    Welcome, but I am sorry you
    Welcome, but I am sorry you have the need for us. This has been my only support group, and there are many, many ways this group has helped me keep my sanity. I love that I can come here anytime, I don't have to wait for a specific day/time.

    Based on my own journey, I would say watch for signs of emotional distress/depression. I handled everything well for about a year and half, and then depression snuck in and took over. I now see a counselor, one on one, about every 6 weeks and I take an anti-depressant. Those two things, and a break from work helped me find myself again.

    I also want to thank you for sharing your feelings about the inevitability of cancer...I have two children (boy 16, girl 11). My mother-in-law is also a survivor. Although I've thought about the possibility of cancer for them, you've helped me realize they might think it is inevitable. Definitely something to think about.

    Along with others, I recommend seeing a certified fitter. I would recommend scheduling an appointment in advance, that way you know they have plenty of time to focus on you.

    Come back and let us know how you're doing.

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • Tux
    Tux Member Posts: 544
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    Welcome, but I am sorry you
    Welcome, but I am sorry you have the need for us. This has been my only support group, and there are many, many ways this group has helped me keep my sanity. I love that I can come here anytime, I don't have to wait for a specific day/time.

    Based on my own journey, I would say watch for signs of emotional distress/depression. I handled everything well for about a year and half, and then depression snuck in and took over. I now see a counselor, one on one, about every 6 weeks and I take an anti-depressant. Those two things, and a break from work helped me find myself again.

    I also want to thank you for sharing your feelings about the inevitability of cancer...I have two children (boy 16, girl 11). My mother-in-law is also a survivor. Although I've thought about the possibility of cancer for them, you've helped me realize they might think it is inevitable. Definitely something to think about.

    Along with others, I recommend seeing a certified fitter. I would recommend scheduling an appointment in advance, that way you know they have plenty of time to focus on you.

    Come back and let us know how you're doing.

    Hugs,

    Linda

    welcome
    Welcome to this website. When dx'ed I was working full time & had a busy life. I
    did not feel depressed at all; my treatment began right away, so I was "doing something"
    about the disease. When scary things happened, this board was an invaluable resource.

    About bras--no underwires for me. I went to a certified fitter about an hour's drive from my home. I am rather "generous" in size, so I need a good fit. It was well worth it.
    I would have driven twice as far for the excellent service that I received. I wish you the best!
  • debi.18
    debi.18 Member Posts: 850 Member
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    Tux said:

    welcome
    Welcome to this website. When dx'ed I was working full time & had a busy life. I
    did not feel depressed at all; my treatment began right away, so I was "doing something"
    about the disease. When scary things happened, this board was an invaluable resource.

    About bras--no underwires for me. I went to a certified fitter about an hour's drive from my home. I am rather "generous" in size, so I need a good fit. It was well worth it.
    I would have driven twice as far for the excellent service that I received. I wish you the best!

    Welcome Jackie!
    Welcome the best support group ever! You'll find the most amazing support here - everyone here just "gets it". I was diagnosed last May and even though I wasn't expecting it, I still didn't really get depressed over it. I figured I could spend my time being upset over something I had no control over or accept the situation, deal with it and not let it consume me. I can't say it was easy, but it was doable.

    Everyone handles everything different, just like we all react different to chemo, rads, etc.
    You have a wonderful, positive attitude!!

    Hugs, Debi
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
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    Welcome
    Welcome Jackie, sorry you need to be here at all but you will be so glad you found this board. Wonderful, helpful people here. I know you will find tons of support, help and info here. I too am from a small Texas town, I am about 3 hrs N of San Antonio. Prayers and God Bless
    (((hugs))) Janice

    A big welcome to you Jackie!
    A big welcome to you Jackie! Not as big as a Texas welcome, but, still a big one! lol

    You will get lots of support and it is a safe place for you to vent or express your feelings.

    Good luck and keep posting,

    Noel
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
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    Welcome, but I am sorry you
    Welcome, but I am sorry you have the need for us. This has been my only support group, and there are many, many ways this group has helped me keep my sanity. I love that I can come here anytime, I don't have to wait for a specific day/time.

    Based on my own journey, I would say watch for signs of emotional distress/depression. I handled everything well for about a year and half, and then depression snuck in and took over. I now see a counselor, one on one, about every 6 weeks and I take an anti-depressant. Those two things, and a break from work helped me find myself again.

    I also want to thank you for sharing your feelings about the inevitability of cancer...I have two children (boy 16, girl 11). My mother-in-law is also a survivor. Although I've thought about the possibility of cancer for them, you've helped me realize they might think it is inevitable. Definitely something to think about.

    Along with others, I recommend seeing a certified fitter. I would recommend scheduling an appointment in advance, that way you know they have plenty of time to focus on you.

    Come back and let us know how you're doing.

    Hugs,

    Linda

    Welcome Jackie! I think all
    Welcome Jackie! I think all of us that have children fear that this might happen. I want you to know that I am praying for you and looking forward to seeing more posts from you.
  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
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    Jackie,
    Welcome to the right place to be once you've been dx'd. Who would ever imagine finding hope, joy, kindred spirits, knowledge, love and strength all in a simple place like this. There is nothing you can ask, feel or address here that hasn't been asked, felt or mentioned before. Experience and compassion are in abundance.

    I'm in a small town, but within a reasonable driving distance the cancer center has a shop that has many items and knows where you can find what your needs are.

    And regarding your reaction, we all are different - no one reacts the same as another in any situation. I forge ahead, I make plans - sometimes have to go to plan B - but I deal. Which is not to say there aren't moments that it isn't overwhelming. That's when you deal with that, and then get back on track. However, if you ever feel you need help - from whomever - ask! Seek actively from your healthcare team, from here, but don't do it alone.

    Big hugs to you,

    Sue